Kat Abianac

Ok so full disclosure.. I automate some of my parenting by using iPhone Messaging Shortcuts.

She loves it and hates it.

All she wanted was her pizza survey posted onto my socials.

Fill it out here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1E16C2u83KeA9T0T8I-wkaB2GSR1a30lvWQND5o_aNco/edit

Or at least please drop a GIF to bump it. Or maybe some life advice!

What would you most want your 18 yr old self to know?

Thankyou in advance. 😇

Kat ‘forced gratitude’ Abianac

🥰 what’s your favourite?

I’ve reached 13K followers! I still remember the day I started my page, struggling with thoughts of whether or not my writing could be relevant or important enough to share. 🥰 It took me a long time to get comfortable with everything I do, but I am so proud of my community and the experiences we’ve had together.

Thank you for always being so supportive. Kat x

Calling Australian special needs parents! I've created a care tasks spreadsheet, to help you document tasks over and above reasonable parenting for your next NDIS review. Want a copy? Just click below

✨ Special needs parents! ✨
I’ve created an EASY ✅ spreadsheet, that helps you identify the unpaid care tasks you do by day/week/month. (super helpful for NDIS reviews.) It’s FREE. Want a copy? Just drop a comment if so.

In the early days of your business, knowledge is in excess. It can be hard to appreciate the value of paying for it.

But when you pay for knowledge, you’re paying for a shortcut through the noise. It’s a proven path, in a sea of dead ends that aren’t as profitable as they look.

The only thing you’ll never get back is time. And while you’ve likely made business investments you regret, the lessons you learned for yourself multiply in value when you pass them to others and stay open to receiving their earned wisdom.

The more mistakes you’ve made, the more valuable you are to your community.

The more ways you learn to buy back your time, the more freedom you have.

And earning your freedom back is priceless.

Do you agree? Follow ❤️

I was judged for trying to better myself and study & gain skills.

‘Easy for some, who lay around on the couch writing on their laptop all day neglecting their kids.’

I was judged for not being supportive enough of a partner.

‘Well parent better then and stop making problems for yourself.’

I was judged for the jobs I chose.

‘You’re asking for trouble.’

I was judged for starting a business.

‘You’re jumping into this blindly. Why are you so impulsive?’

I get judged for helping people for free.

‘You have a hidden agenda.’

I get judged for not helping every single person who ask me for help.

‘She doesn’t reply to everyone. She’s a social climber.’

I get judged for swearing.

‘It’s a sign of a lack of class.’

I get judged for living in active wear.

‘Why don’t you just grab your almond latte and drop your kids to school in your soccer mum car?’

I get judged for being comfortable talking about money and helping people earn it.

‘Why don’t you pay for dinner, rich girl?’

This taught me one super special lesson.

I get judged exactly as much now as I did in every other season of life.

And let’s be honest… it’s much nicer being judged by people while I’m surrounded by the people I love, going full speed toward changing lives inside the communities I adore the most.

They’ll talk about you no matter what they do. Live a life so congruent with your highest values that every day is worth being talked about.

It’ll only draw more attention to you. And that is always a good thing, when you’re here to change lives and create impact.

“Don’t give your best to those that pay you and the rest to those that love you”. - Aaron Sansoni

🥰 hanging with my little guy before picking up his year 3 iPad!

Trusting yourself just hits different.

Today, my son had his first consultation with Professor Tony Attwood.

I met his son Will, and Parker fell in love with his dog Lucy, and I met his life changing assistant Dawn… who followed me up by email back when I was in crisis mode - making sure I brought exactly what I needed to help Professor Attwood help Parker best.

I sat in the serenity of a home designed for people with autism, just like mine, and it felt like home.

And Parker found out exactly who he is.

It turns out there’s a lot of kids with Down syndrome like Parker.

I learned so much today.

When you’re sitting in front of an expert who has met thousands upon thousands of parents exactly like you, and you’re honest with the expert about how you think and feel, you will take quantum leaps forward in learning about yourself.

You’ll also learn how you’re far more exactly like everyone else than you ever thought.

Alongside Down syndrome, Parker has been diagnosed with Autism level 3, features of Tourette’s (diagnosis pending further assessment), and I was given a stark reminder that capacity fluctuates.

So, parents who have seen my son and wondered what his movements are.. they’re tics, not stims and your specialist probably doesn’t know that.

Parents of kids with Down syndrome.. if it quacks like a duck, it’s a fu***ng duck.

Get your children assessed properly by specialists for autism, ADHD, Tourette’s, everything you need to.

Your child can have exceptionally high abilities in MANY areas and still have a lower functional capacity that is scaffolded and held up by a carefully crafted environment.

It is not your job to hold this up the rest of your life. Diagnose it, treat it, address it, and if you’ve learned anything from my son it’s how meaningless a label is to the child himself.

My son just wants to love, and be loved, and to sleep at night without crushing anxiety.

Correct diagnosises are how you will unlock the solution. You’re an incredible carer, but caring will never replace adequate support in the home so you can focus on simply parenting again.

If 2022 taught me two things…

1. Just breathe, you can’t control the outcome so ride it out, just smile and wave.

2. Family units can be complex little glow sticks.

Sometimes they break just so they can shine.

Coaches and Consultants! If I pulled together a free 5 day intensive challenge to help you get your entire course created and launched, would you be interested? Comment below and let me know!

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Share things you love, even if you’re under appreciated on social media. The people who needed to hear your message will be listening.

Appreciation is in the eye of the reader, so just make sure you love the s**t out of your own work and you’ll have all the kudos you’ll ever need. 🥰

What do you think about Grace Grace MP addressing child aggression strategies while simultaneously underfunding teachers’ educations on their many, many students with disabilities? 🧐 7NEWS Brisbane Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability

I’ve made 6 figures on Instagram this year and I just uploaded a 2021 Instagram Strategies guide to max out your new followers for cheap.

Want the free download link? Comment YES!

2021 Instagram StrategiesThe eBook In this eBook, I’ll confirm what ‘latest Instagram strategies’ ARE working right now, so you’re not stuck doing things from old algorithm updates that no longer work.

I have known thousands of women over the years, I cannot even guess at telling you how many intimate conversations I’ve had, and many women have confided in me that their current or past spouses were violent.

These women were friends, employees, coworkers, acquaintances.

Some would narrate previous stories and share horrific things without blinking, having seemingly resolved their trauma even as I processed what they had been through.

The strength and power of women sharing their truth never ceases to leave me in awe.

Many women were federal government employees telling me in confidence. They would go into micro detail in our private support sessions.

Some women I knew well, others I didn’t.

Zero of the women I still know, are still in their violent relationship.

Zero of those relationships got better.

Violent relationships do not get better.

https://www.1800respect.org.au

“Diversity is getting the party invite. Inclusion is being asked to dance.”

How to Stop Giving all Those F***s.

Forgive people, even when you’re scared you won’t enforce your boundaries correctly if they do it again.

Enforce your boundaries correctly if they do it again.

Cry, especially if you’re surrounded by those who prefer to provoke you to anger than deal with you having feelings.

Trust those feelings of chemistry are childhood trauma and even if they’re calling you like a kid in a theme park, you’re allowed to get off the carousel and go on the good old river boat.

Learn to meditate so you can process your emotional anchors, because it leads to you learning how to regulate and THAT s**t will change your entire life as you know it.

Learn that the hurts your parents unknowingly inflicted don’t define who you truly are. How? Read books. Literally. Learn it. It’s called doing the work.

Stop replying to DMs and texts you don’t want to.

Leave the house, even when it’s hard and you don’t want to.

Reflect on what triggers you and remove it from your life, or deal with it until it doesn’t. (If you don’t know what that means, think about the last time you thought someone’s social media quote was aimed at you. It’s THAT feeling.)

Learn how to verbalise the emotionally healthy traits in others and compliment them on it. You’ll attract more of it, which of course leads to giving less f***s.

Learn to say, ‘Thanks for your opinion. Let’s stop talking about for now because I’m done.’

Learn to not respond at all, if that’s your preferred option.

And lastly..

A problem shared is a problem halved, so start handing some back.

Giving less f***s actually involves taking less f***s on in the first place.

Parker’s Kloudsac got taken over by a small white fluffy cat very quickly

Doing great, sweetie 🥰

❤️ via

Do you punch or soft land? Follow ❤️ thanks

Do you agree? Follow ❤️

Parker starts at his new school next week, and he was just given a tour of his school bus. He’s excited because he wants to be a bus driver when he grows up, and I’m excited because he’ll be picked up every day at 7:20am. 😁 mornings, come to mama.

Can we just face the reality that most incredibly empathetic and insightful people have experienced incredible trauma? Sometimes it defines us. And sometimes it’s not the person we’re moving on from loving... it’s the addiction to the significance our trauma gave us. 💕

Tea, or bedroom first?

Jadah Sellner spoke about this at a conference once, so buckle in and I’m gonna word you up good.

Imagine you’re on a first date.

You've JUST met. You’re getting along ok, you feel like you’ve just started getting to know this person and you like what you see.

Then, over their brunch, they lean forward and say, ‘Hey! I live around the corner! Wanna go back to my place and share a pot of tea?’

You get to their house, they walk in before you…

Then you’re chilling in their sitting room waiting for your cup of tea and you hear them call your name. FROM THE BEDROOM.

Umm… what would you do?

Side note: Tea is serious business. Don't break tea promises.

If your response was, 'Well I'd probably excuse myself and head off,' let me ask you,

Does this ‘going in for the kill’ behaviour, leading you to the bedroom, mean they were always a no for you?
Well, 5 minutes ago, maybe you wouldn’t have ruled it out permanently...

But the odds are higher now that you’ll not want to see them again.

Did it mean you didn’t like who they were? Not at all!

It just meant their timing SUCKED. You didn’t even get to find out if you like how they make your tea! And that’s an important quality.
For many people looking for something serious, they prefer dating to be a series of small, snowballed positive experiences so we know if something is worth their while.

And it’s the same for many people looking for a coach, product or service. They're serious, too.

I often talk about really detailed, small problems and how to fix them.

So, consider trying this: How can you help someone get just ONE small win, instead of going in for the kill?

They might end up being yours for life.
They may not.

But either way you’ve helped them achieve something that they really really wanted to, and that’s pretty great.

Kat xo