fromwithin_blog

You wished her the worst, but desired the best.
You withdrew all your love, to then surge it like a tide.
Your love for her; almost as powerful as your animosity.

With a love so vast and so deep.
Your contradictions leave her in a puzzle beyond complete.
Yours truly - from within

Someone asked me what it feels like to not have my mother in my life. I didn’t really know how to explain it because for so long this is all I’ve ever known. The hurtful words, nasty actions, verbal abuse, and the pain is what’s seeming to be the only memory I have when I think of you. I sat there and tried to answer their question with as much sense as I could make of it in my mind.

While surfacing these negative memories and emotions, one by one going back year by year, I reach the hidden memory of when I was in my early years of primary school. I’m sitting in my classroom in a silent reading alongside my fellow classmates. The sky outside is beautiful and blue, and as the sun is shining through the windows while it begins its journey to set I hear your footsteps as your high heels walk through the halls toward my class. I remember your silhouette as you walked past the blurred windows with your curly voluminous hair casting a shadow as you strut past each one. I can hear your voice softly whisper my name as your head peeps through the corner of my class room door with a graceful smile on your face, so happy to see me - and as I see you, my smile stretches from one cheek to the other, with my eyes glimmering as I look at you and say “mummy”. The bell rings. I jump out of my chair and run into your arms as you pull me in so tightly that I get lost in your freshly styled hair. Your arms are wrapped around me so tight, and as I cradle my head deep into your shoulder, I notice something I’ll forever carry with me - your scent in that very moment. Instantly, I feel at home again. I know how much I love you, I know how much you love me. If only I knew this feeling is something I would have to forever cling to because not too long after this moment, I would lose it forever 🥀 (continue ready in comments)

With or without me, you have found your way, and I'm so proud of who you are in this moment.
I won't be here because I feel the need to be. I'll be here because I want to be, as you want me to be.

I won't lose me in the process of loving you

forgiven, but never forgotten...

You can't always trust that the next person isn't going to hurt you... but you can have faith in yourself that if they do, you'll know to walk away.
You'll be smart enough, you'll be strong enough.

- fromwithin

Don't forget that we weren't created to be in front of screens. We weren't supposed to be constantly distracted, constantly stressed. So put the phone and the laptop down, turn off any music, or podcast, and go go be with nature. Breath the salty air, and feel the light breeze brush over your skin.

Switch off, and just be present...
from within

Who was your best friend/s when you were young? Who did you share your life with? Tell your secrets to? Who helped shape you into who you are today?
Whether they are still in your life or not, what is one thing you would want them to know?

Comment below 👇

Sending love to all the girls out there who are trying to love themselves in a world that's constantly telling them not to 🧡

Some thought for your morning feed 🤎

Why you should embrace your "flaws"

On the blog now 💌

Just as relationships, friendships are a two-way street; when it becomes a one-way street, it's time to travel down a different path.

On the blog today - Letting go of toxic friendships

Link in bio

Selfishness;
A word that's often used with negative expression, but is being selfish always a bad thing? Are there ever times where it's acceptable to be selfish?

When & why it's okay to be selfish. On the blog now

Link in bio ^