Live Life Coaching

I find this holds very true. When we feel triggered, it’s usually an opportunity to see what still needs to be healed within us.

Before you get all up in arms about others' crappy behavior, hear me out.

Yes, people do & say sh*tty things to try to hurt people (and they do it without trying to hurt people, too). But as adults, we actually do have a say about how we respond to 'offensive' behavior, and how it impacts us.

As an example, I run this account and have had plenty of rude comments and messages. Maybe because my words go against their worldview or they're reading it in a sensitive moment, they don't understand what I'm saying, or they just flat out disagree with me.

For the most part, while it's annoying, I generally don't care all that much (if they're overtly rude, I'll block them)...UNLESS it touches on a nerve that on some level I believe is true or exposes an insecurity. And usually when I feel defensive, I know it's struck that nerve; it touches on something that I'm afraid of.
The anger and/or defensiveness that arises is protective of this tender part of me.

The same is true for many of us - if someone you don't know says something horrible about you that has no basis in reality and is out of context, it's much easier to let it go and let it be their issue. Because, more often than not, when someone is launching aggression in your direction, it's a misguided/less effective attempt at their own self-protection or to meet a deeper unmet need.

I think that can be helpful to remember when we feel offended or triggered in interpersonal dynamics to return to ourselves first - what about what they just said/did feels 'true' to me?
And what about that is painful?
Where might I have felt this feeling before?
What am I afraid of?

So much of our work with other people simply comes back to first knowing, understanding, and holding compassionate space in curiosity for ourselves & our feelings. Being in relationship with others, especially those who are very different from us, is often the best mirror for helping us to better know understand who we are and what we care about. Knowing ourselves can help open us to having more compassion and curiosity for others.

If you'd like some help learning how to navigate conflict and hurt feelings in relationship, the Relationship Management Workshop begins November 14. Last time I'll be running this one, and spots are filling up!

https://theeqschool.co/relationship-management-workshop

🙌

See if you can notice your conditioned voice and if it is still working for you.

“Bodies are conditioned, minds are conditioned. You’re conditioned culturally, intellectually, and sociologically—there are lots of different kinds of conditioning. Some of it is useful, some of it is useless. Some of it makes life a bit easier. A lot of it makes life a whole lot more difficult. But when we see that just as it is, then we’re done. We’re free to look deeper.”
~ Adyashanti
March 20, 2011
Intimacy with Everything
https://bit.ly/3Vh5Wbc

Please watch until the end….

Check in on those around you | #WorldMentalHealthDay 💛💚 #youarenotalone At times, it can be obvious when someone is struggling to cope. But sometimes the signs are harder to spot. Check in on those around you. ...

True 🙌

Just start…..tiny steps will do 🙏

Quotes of The Day🌺🌹❤️

Feel into your decisions, it’s wise guidance.

Pay attention 💙 ~ Nanea

Hunt for the good and embrace all the little things because they add up to experiencing a brighter life.

There’s always something to be grateful for 🙏

Keep learning and keep growing 🙏🧡

✌️💕🌎

Be kind and gentle on yourself… always 💝

Words from my book The Strength That Stays 🌹

Not every day is for conquering.

Mindful Monday... 🌄

THE CLIMB

They say that when you’re broken
This is how the light gets in
But what if all the cracks
Are letting out the light within?

They say it makes you stronger
But at first it makes you weak
The way you face the mountain base
Before you reach the peak

They say to break is brave
And yet your mind is full of dread
You’re not overwhelmed by courage
But by helplessness instead

But admitting you are breaking
Is far braver than you know
And remember, from the bottom
There is just one way to go

See, I think they mean it isn’t just
That breaking makes you strong
But the way you use the embers
Of your will to carry on

It’s triumph over trauma
And it’s healing after hurt
It’s rising from the ashes
With a new-found sense of worth

So find yourself a candle
And allow its tiny spark
To ignite you back to life
And put the fire back in your heart

And grant yourself compassion
For the times that you feel weak
Just rest until you’re strong enough
To get back on your feet

Yes, I know that when you’re broken
You have only threads of hope
But tie them to the mountain
Like your personal safety rope

Then gather at the bottom
With the summit high above
Then take a breath and take a step
The only way is up

~ Becky Hemsley Poetry ~

🎨 To You From Steph

This statement is so true and so liberating if you practice it.

The secret is awareness!

Yes 🙌