BrainSweet

When he was sexually abused at the age of 11, my husband didn't tell a soul.

His mum recalls him getting physically ill that summer, his foot swelling up to the point she took him to the doctor, who insisted something must have bit him. "Nothing bit me", 11 year old Peter maintained.

Fast forward 30 years, and Pete's ability to compartmentalise what happened to him - and the lifetime of shame that came with it - started to unravel. Suddenly he couldn't think straight. Couldn't seem to do simple electrical work. Found going into a supermarket overwhelming. Found filling out paperwork confusing. He went to psychiatrists, neuro-psychologists, brain specialists. His doctor ordered a brain scan thinking perhaps he had a tumour.

It was only after five years of this, in 2005, that I finally said to him: "Are you sure this isn't somehow connected to your sexual abuse?"

He was perplexed by the question. "It didn't affect me though", he said. But we had two children under 2 so he agreed to go to a counsellor, "just to rule it out".

"What happened?", I asked him after the session. "I don't understand", he replied. "I ended upon the floor dry retching into the bin".

Anyway, the rest is history. He has had more than 300 counselling sessions to unpack the impact of the abuse, and the shame, on his life. His mental health deteriorated, until eventually every day his challenge was to 'stay alive'. He would say to himself, 'stay alive for Clare & the kids'.

It was a horrendous 15 or so years, and we nearly lost him. He lost his business, his livelihood, and people he thought were close friends and family. But he never gave up. He just kept going back to the counsellor and talking through his feelings until...over time...he started to heal.

Talking about feelings was not something that came easy to him. In fact, he had totally disassociated from them. He loathed talking about them. But he understood that the only way to give those feelings 'a ticket out' was to process them. And so he kept going.

Interestingly, many times when things were particularly challenging with events in the press and courts about the Catholic church...his foot would swell up again. How is that for a heart/body connection? He looks back to his swollen foot as a boy and knows that he was literally pushing his feelings as far down in his body as they could go.

Today, Peter Blenkiron is well. He is working as an electrician again after 20 years. He is feeling good. And he has learnt a whole new skillset - how to recognise and process what he's feeling, instead of bottling it up.

One of his oft repeated sentences to male friends is this: Logic will never kill you...but the inability to deal with your feelings. Mate, that is life and death.

So any men out there who are reading this...do it. Reach out and get help. Remember, feelings are data. They are simply our body telling us something needs attention.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/men

Clare Linane from BrainSweet - what do I talk about when I visit your organisation? Trying to de-stigmatise mental wellbeing struggles in your workplace? I do many talks and many workshops in which I share my learnings from mental illness. H...

https://youtu.be/9M9YMHarovo

Employees in your organisation need to know you are supportive of their wellbeing all year, not just on RUOK Day. Here's how I can help you de-stigmatise this topic, and teach tangible strategies to your team, by being a guest speaker at your organisation.

I'm Melbourne based but can travel all over Australia. I tend to get booked up well in advance so please reach out for a 15 minute chat (link in comments)

Clare Linane from BrainSweet - what do I talk about when I visit your organisation? Trying to de-stigmatise mental wellbeing struggles in your workplace? I do many talks and many workshops in which I share my learnings from mental illness. H...

Today is World Mental Health Day. And fortunately, my mental health right now is very good. To some, today is probably just another 'token' day, but here's why putting the spotlight on mental health matters to me:

💡If we'd been talking openly about mental health when I was in my teens and twenties, I would have realised that what I was experiencing was 'ill mental health'. Instead, I just thought I was pathetic and lazy. See photo - excerpts from my diary during this time.

💡When I first went public on LinkedIn about my history with depression in 2017, I got loads of online support and shares. But then when I started applying for jobs - nothing. I went from a hit rate of about 70% (applications to interview ratio) to zero. I even created a new profile using my married name so people couldn't search and read about my history. Every initative that de-stigmatised mental illness helps challenge this discrimination.

💡My 17 year old daughter is also learning how to manage life whilst also managing a predisposition to depression. Because of initiatives like this, she has so many more resources to draw on than I did at her age.

I could keep going, but you get the gist.

Thinking of you on World Mental Health day and hoping you are thriving.

LUNCHEON - TUESDAY 11TH OCTOBER, OSCARS BALLARAT.

Are you concerned about the wellbeing of a team member? Finding it hard to know how to raise the topic or start the conversation?

Show your commitment to the wellbeing of your team members by bringing them to a luncheon this coming Tuesday 11th October, in Ballarat, when I will talk honestly and insightfully about my own experiences managing mental illness for the past 35 years.

My own struggles with depression started when I was a teenager and went undiagnosed for many years. I was 29 when I finally got a diagnosis of Depressive Mood Disorder, but the diagnosis was by no means the end of the story.

I will peak not only about my moments of lowest despair, but more importantly, the strategies I use to try to maintain good mental health. My insights are applicable to anyone who wants to enhance their wellbeing after what has been a challenging few years for us all.

This is an ideal opportunity to bring your team along to an inspiring event that will encourage everyone to take ownership of their own mental health, and help start constructive conversations in the workplace. Please note my talk will touch upon some of the difficult realities of mental illness and may be triggering for some, so please ensure anyone attending is aware of this.

Here is one of my most recent testimonials from a corporate client, O.C Tanner:

“Clare has the wonderful ability to take her audience on a confronting yet hugely beneficial journey. A natural storyteller, Clare draws on her lived experience of serious mental illness to deliver an often-harrowing, sometimes hilarious, and incredibly valuable talk about removing the stigma and shame surrounding mental illness, defining the difference between mental illness and mental health, and sharing some strategies for self-care. I can't recommend Clare highly enough”

**Please note that in lieu of a speaking fee, $5 from every ticket sold will be donated to a Grocery Voucher program being trialled by Ballarat Men’s Mental Health (https://lnkd.in/gv7bWaga enables several local GPs to issue grocery cards to patients who are struggling mentally, but are not entitled to help from existing services. The grocery cards help these men and women put food on their tables whilst trying to manage their mental health challenge”