Spiritual gangster recovery real talk

One of the most difficult struggles in recovery has been the relationship with myself. Now living this new way of life through the 12-steps, traditions, and concepts to the best of my ability I have found some freedom knowing that God loves me, accepting myself for where I am in life and evolving to love me some me not in an arrogant, ego, pride driven way, just finding some comfortablity in my own skin. Now with some things back in my life my daughter, apartment, working on a career in recovery, and some other material posseions I am living happy, joyous, and free to an extent. Now the problem is I keep getting into relationships and have no business being in one. Praying that I grow through what I'm going through, the lesson and blessing God I surrender show me how to live and what I need to lean in this season in Jesus name AMEN AND AMEN !!!!!!

February 09, 2024
Purpose and Responsibility
Page 41

"Groups have come together to form service bodies that help them achieve their primary purpose. Service bodies have formed workgroups, boards, and committees to accomplish the tasks that support the groups."

Guiding Principles, Tradition Nine, Opening Essay

In our service bodies, we embrace Tradition Nine when we regularly consider our responsibilities to those we serve. By maintaining H&I panels, hosting recovery events, and furthering NA's reach in other ways through public relations efforts, we make it possible for groups to focus on providing an atmosphere of recovery for members. The purpose of our service bodies is an extension of our groups' primary purpose.

In our personal recovery, considering the relationship between purpose and responsibility can be helpful, too. When we are in a meeting, for example, we might have several reasons for attending. We show up for our own recovery, to carry a message, for coffee or tea, or to see whether that cute person who was there last time came back. Whatever our reasons, thinking about purpose can help us practice responsibility. The meeting exists to create an atmosphere of recovery, so our responsibility in that space is to contribute to that atmosphere. Even if the cute person does show up!

The same is true for other areas of our lives. Family, work, school--each has a purpose that may or may not align completely with our own. However, there is usually a fair amount of overlap, so we can practice responsibility by attending to that portion of our purpose that aligns with where we are at. We practice responsibility by looking for the overlap in purpose and focus our energy there. The more we practice, the better we get.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Fulfilling my purpose involves being responsible. I will consider my responsibilities in each area of my life and try to act accordingly.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

February 09, 2024
Self-acceptance
Page 41

"When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our lives, unconditionally probably for the first time."

IP 19, Self-Acceptance

From our earliest memories, many of us felt like we never belonged. No matter how big the gathering, we always felt apart from the crowd. We had a hard time "fitting in." Deep down, we believed that if we really let others get to know us, they would reject us. Perhaps our addiction began to germinate in this climate of self-centeredness.

Many of us hid the pain of our alienation with an attitude of defiance. In effect, we told the world, "You don't need me? Well, I don't need any of you, either. I've got my drugs and I can take care of myself!" The further our addiction progressed, the higher the walls we built around ourselves.

Those walls begin to fall when we start finding acceptance from other recovering addicts. With this acceptance from others, we begin to learn the important principle of self-acceptance. And when we start to accept ourselves, we can allow others to take part in our lives without fear of rejection.

Just for Today: I am accepted in NA; I fit in. Today, it's safe to start letting others into my life.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Lament 3:22 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. Proverbs 21:11 Sensless people learn their lessons the hard way, but the wise are teachable. Proverbs 11:2 With humility comes wisdom. Matthew 23:12 "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."

February 08, 2024
Willing to Walk in Faith
Page 40

"When we show up for life with willingness and an open mind, the next right thing tends to present itself."

Living Clean, Chapter 3, "Spirituality Is Practical"

"I have a full, rich life in recovery," a member shared to knowing nods. "But I'm facing some decisions about what comes next for me. I'm willing to do the next right thing if only I knew what that is. The options are all good, so how do I figure out what God's will is for me?" After the meeting, some more experienced NA members offered their insights on Steps Three and Eleven.

"I would freak out trying to know, really know, if my choices aligned with my Higher Power's will," one member shared. "I was told: 'If you're looking for a burning bush, you're going to be disappointed.'" When we're dealing with clear-cut questions of right and wrong--Should I steal this candy or pay for it?--the next right thing is obvious. But looking for one correct response to life's multifaceted dilemmas can be paralyzing. The member continued, "I came to understand that Step Three is all about my decision. My willingness to work the rest of the Steps is that decision in action. My job is to show up, be willing, and do the work in front of me. So long as I'm plugged into the Steps, I can trust my intuition."

"I used to pray to know God's will for me, too," another member confessed. "My sponsor pointed out that self-centeredness had distorted my hearing: Step Eleven isn't about me. It's about us." She went on to explain how a focus on us broadened her perspective. "It changed my outlook and influenced how I pray and meditate. That made it easier to live by principles and to listen to my heart, trusting that my choices would enrich my ability to serve." Viewing life through a wide-angle lens puts our decisions within a larger context filled with love, support, and service. When we practice willingness and awareness, even our missteps expand our usefulness to others.

When we're spiritually fit, doing the next right thing doesn't have to be complicated. We find the willingness to walk in faith, knowing that we'll be alright. People like saying, "When one door closes, another opens." As NA members, we become better equipped to navigate hallways with multiple doors, some leading nowhere, others to new worlds, and all of them preparing us to serve.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

I am willing to be guided by my Higher Power today. I will make principled decisions and take positive action, secure in the knowledge that my service will be enhanced.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

February 08, 2024
What is a sponsor?
Page 40

"...an NA sponsor is a member of Narcotics Anonymous, living our program of recovery, who is willing to build a special, supportive, one-on-one relationship with us."

IP No. 11, Sponsorship, Revised

What is a sponsor? You know: That nice person with whom you had coffee after your first meeting. That generous soul who keeps sharing recovery experience free of charge. The one who keeps amazing you with stunning insight regarding your character defects. The one who keeps reminding you to finish your Fourth Step, who listens to your Fifth Step, and who doesn't tell anyone how weird you are.

It's pretty easy to start taking all this stuff for granted once we're used to someone being there for us. We may run wild for a while and tell ourselves, "I'll call my sponsor later, but right now I have to clean the house, go shopping, chase that attractive..." And so we end up in trouble, wondering where we went wrong.

Our sponsor can't read minds. It's up to us to reach out and ask for help. Whether we need help with our steps, a reality check to help us straighten out our screwy thinking, or just a friend, it's our job to make the request. Sponsors are warm, wise, wonderful people, and their experience with recovery is ours - all we have to do is ask.

Just for Today: I'm grateful for the time, the love, and the experience my sponsor has shared with me. Today I will call my sponsor.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

February 07, 2024
This is not a test
Page 39

"...we have found a loving, personal God to whom we can turn."

Basic Text, p. 27

Some of us come into recovery with the impression that life's hardships are a series of cosmic tests designed to teach us something. This belief is readily apparent when something traumatic happens and we wail, "My Higher Power is testing me!" We're convinced that it's a test of our recovery when someone offers us drugs, or a test of our character when faced with a situation where we could do something unprincipled without getting caught. We may even think it's a test of our faith when we're in great pain over a tragedy in our lives.

But a loving Higher Power doesn't test our recovery, our character, or our faith. Life just happens, and sometimes it hurts. Many of us have lost love through no fault of our own. Some of us have lost all of our material wealth. A few of us have even grieved the loss of our own children. Life can be terribly painful at times, but the pain is not inflicted on us by our Higher Power. Rather, that Power is constantly by our sides, ready to carry us if we can't walk by ourselves. There is no harm that life can do us that the God of our understanding can't heal.

Just for Today: I will have faith that my Higher Power's will for me is good, and that I am loved. I will seek my Higher Power's help in times of need.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 22, 2024
Serenity Brings Clarity
Page 22

"Serenity doesn't mean that we don't experience dramatic events. It gives us the clarity of mind to go through them."

Living Clean, Chapter 7, "Living Our Principles"

"Ahhhhh, serenity. A permanent state of peacefulness, contentment, and awe. Those of us with time clean float around on a spiritual plane that newcomers can aspire to and will achieve through doing exactly what's suggested," shared no member ever.

Unfortunately--and not surprisingly--life in recovery doesn't work like that because life will keep showing up. We experience some thrilling moments, as well as those that are terrifying, joyful, and sorrowful. And plenty of unexciting times in between when things are just fine, yet the drama in our head continues. But there is good news on the horizon: We can deal with life because no matter what arises, we have learned, collectively, that we can get through anything, and practicing serenity can help.

Practicing serenity is acting with intention to get to a place of equanimity where we can contain ourselves enough to keep perspective, show our gratitude, and act with care and thoughtfulness. Sometimes it's about standing still when our mind is running; other times it's about keeping our mind still when everything around us is spinning. It can be as simple as breathing. Serenity gives us time and space through extreme highs and lows. It can be the calm in the eye of the addict-brain hurricane. But it's not always about peacefulness; sometimes it's about authenticity, about feeling how we feel and being okay with that.

Serenity is a tool for clarity. When faced with a difficult decision--which for many of us can be every single decision--we can pray for serenity. Sometimes the right path is revealed; other times we can adjust unrealistic expectations and realize we have enough information to move forward. We can jump into the unknown because today we have tools to deal with that.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Where can I stop, breathe, and look for clarity during my day? Where can I take a moment to feel what I'm feeling and know I'm okay?

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 22, 2024
The school of recovery
Page 22

"This is a program for learning."

Basic Text, p. 16

Learning in recovery is hard work. The things we most need to know are often the hardest to learn. We study recovery to prepare ourselves for the experiences life will give us. As we listen to others share in meetings, we take mental notes we can refer to later. To be prepared, we study our notes and literature between "lessons." Just as students have the opportunity to apply their knowledge during tests, so do we have the opportunity to apply our recovery during times of crisis.

As always, we have a choice in how we will approach life's challenges. We can dread and avoid them as threats to our serenity or we can gratefully accept them as opportunities for growth. By confirming the principles we've learned in recovery, life's challenges give us increased strength. Without such challenges, however, we could forget what we've learned and begin to stagnate. These are the opportunities that prod us to new spiritual awakenings.

We will find that there is often a period of rest after each crisis, giving us time to get accustomed to our new skills. Once we've reflected on our experience, we are called on to share our knowledge with someone who is studying what we've just learned. In the school of recovery, all of us are teachers as well as students.

Just for Today: I will be a student of recovery. I will welcome challenges, confident in what I've learned and eager to share it with others.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Morning meditation! I read 2 different devotionals that said to wait patiently on the Lord, not one of my strongest qualities. When I reflect/meditate on all that God and Narcotics Anonymous has brought me through when I just kept doing the next right thing, praying, embracing the process through step work, service work, meetings, and church it really fills me with gratitude and awe of God's grace, mercy, and favor. Some seasons are harder than others and there is always something to learn being vigilant, aware, persistent, mindful in the moment is where the blessings are. Making new mistakes in recovery learning from them and being able to share experience, strength, and hope with others about how I made through hard times and applied the 12-step lens process practicing spiritual principles, surrendering, accepting keeping my hope and faith in God and Narcotics Anonymous there is no limit to what a greatful recovering addict spiritual gangster child of the most High God can do 💯💪✝️🩶💯💪🔷️🤍

January 21, 2024
Exercising Goodwill
Page 21

"When we practice living in harmony with our world, we become wiser about choosing our battles. We learn where we can use our energy to make a difference and where we need to let go."

Living Clean, Chapter 3, "Awakening to Our Spirituality"

Let's start with an uncomfortable truth: We are judgmental because we are human. Human beings assess one another; we compare ourselves. We can be territorial and take sides. We come by this honestly; our survival once depended on it! Add the self-centered nature of addiction to our humanness, and then throw in something we care passionately about (such as the Fellowship of NA)--and our judgment can become a weapon to control outcomes about NA-related issues that other members also care about.

We can, however, turn down the volume on our judgments. With the volume adjusted, we learn that we can approach people and situations without engaging our fight-or-flight instincts. Our first thoughts may still be judgmental, but recovery gives us options about our behavior. It's our actions that matter most.

When we have some cleantime and service experience, it's tempting to tell members, groups, and service committees what's what. But having knowledge and wisdom doesn't give us authority. Group conscience is always more powerful than individual conscience. Sometimes--to our great surprise--newer members don't defer to those of us who have been around for a while, offering insights or suggestions the group had been missing before.

Practicing the principle of goodwill with members doesn't mean we stay silent. Our opinions matter. Exercising goodwill assures those opinions don't matter more or less than anyone else's. We listen to others, don't force the outcome to meet our desires, allow others to make mistakes (yes, even the ones we have already made), and acknowledge that our fellow members want the same things as we do: to stay clean and to carry the message in the most effective way possible.

Goodwill invokes our primary purpose. It serves the greater good of NA, not our egos.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

I'll take a stance of goodwill toward others by sharing my experience, not dictating outcomes--and by demonstrating openness to the suggestions of others.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 21, 2024
Unity and uniformity
Page 21

"Unity is a must in Narcotics Anonymous."

Basic Text, p. 63

Unity is not uniformity. Unity springs from the fact that we have unity of purpose-to recover, and to help others stay clean. Even so, we often find that while we strive to fulfill the same purpose, our means and methods may be radically different.

We can't impose our ideas of unity on others or confuse unity with uniformity. In fact, a big attraction of the NA program is the absence of uniformity. Unity springs from our common purpose, not from standards imposed on the group by a few well-meaning members. A group that has the unity which springs from the loving hearts of its members allows each addict to carry the message in his or her own unique way.

In our dealings with each other in NA, we sometimes disagree rather vocally. We must remember that the details of how we get things done isn't always important, so long as we keep our focus on the group's primary purpose. We can watch members who vehemently disagree over trivial things pull together when a newcomer reaches out for help. Someone was there for us when we got to the rooms of NA. Now it is our turn to be there for others. We need unity to help show the newcomer that this way of life works.

Just for Today: I will strive to be a part of unity. I know that unity does not equal uniformity.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 20, 2024
The Simple, Priceless Gift We Share
Page 20

"The simple, priceless gift we give each other is the recognition of our humanity."

Guiding Principles, Tradition Eight, Opening Essay

When we're new in the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, it seems that everyone is speaking a language we don't quite understand. All seem to know the order of things, the readings, the prayer at the end. Newly clean (or trying to be), we're already immensely uncomfortable when we're encouraged by someone to talk about what's going on with us-- to a roomful of strangers? We don't know what to say, but we try anyway. People in the room vigorously nod at us, like they understand us. "Thanks for what you said," someone tells us during the break. "You really helped me today. So glad you're here." This is different.

"I don't even know what the hell I just said!" we reply. "I have no idea what I'm doing." More vigorous nodding. What is wrong with these people?

NA's practice of remaining "forever nonprofessional," as per our Eighth Tradition, suggests we are perfectly capable of delivering a message of recovery--even before we're aware that's what we're doing. We don't need professional training or coaching to share in a meeting. We don't have to know all the NA jargon or have memorized passages in our literature. We begin greeting newcomers when we're still newcomers ourselves. Depending on where we live, we may be called to sponsor before we're done with our first full round of Steps. As addicts in recovery, we are already experts--all of us--from the oldest oldtimer to the newest newcomer.

There is beauty and simplicity in the therapeutic value of one addict helping another. A desire to stop using gets us in the door, and our humanity gives us the capacity to listen and empathize, to share what's in our hearts and on our minds, to be generous, and, crucially, to accept the generosity of others. Each of us finds our expertise as recovering addicts when we accept our condition as addicts and start to tap into our assets.

This principle of simplicity is aligned with NA's commitment to anonymity: No matter who we are, we are deserving of each other's recognition that we are human and worthy of love and acknowledgment. As NA members, we give each other the simple gift of being a part of something greater than each of us. Priceless. Simple. Free.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Today I'm going to do my best to acknowledge my fellow members' humanity and share my own. That's all I have to know how to do.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 20, 2024
One promise, many gifts
Page 20

"Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise, and that is freedom from active addiction..."

Basic Text, p. 106

Imagine how it might be if we had arrived at the doors of Narcotics Anonymous, desperate, wanting to stop using drugs, only to be met by a sales pitch: "If you just work the steps and don't use drugs, you'll get married, live in the suburbs, have 2.6 children, and start wearing polyester. You will become a responsible, productive member of society and be fit company for kings and presidents. You will be rich and have a dynamic career." Most of us, greeted with such a heavy-handed spiel, would have shrieked and bolted for the door.

Instead of high-pressure nonsense and frightening predictions, we are greeted with a promise of hope: freedom from active addiction. We feel a blessed relief come over us when we hear that we never have to use drugs again. We aren't going to be forced to become anything!

Of course, after some time in recovery, good things start happening in our lives. We are given gifts-spiritual gifts, material gifts, gifts that we've always dreamed of but never dared hope we'd get. These, however, are truly gifts-they are not promised to us just because we become NA members. All we are promised is freedom from addiction-and it's more than enough!

Just for Today: I have been promised freedom from active addiction. The gifts I receive are the benefits of recovery.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 19, 2024
Contributing Our Creativity
Page 19

"Some of us discover that we have talents for contributing to the world in other ways, whether through our creativity, our empathy, or our addict ability to focus on one thing and do it 'til it's done."

Living Clean, Chapter 1, "A Vision of Hope"

In NA, we often recall how drugs ruined our lives and how our innate talents were ultimately no match for our disease. When we were using, however, many of us believed that the drugs we used were fundamentally responsible for the positive contributions we made to our lives. Drugs allowed us to be confident about expressing ourselves socially, artistically, and s*xually. They helped us fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning so that we could be there for our kids after work and before school. Using gave us laser-sharp focus and heightened our productivity at work, which pleased our employers and soothed our insecurities. Still, we eventually came crashing down. As one member put it, "I thought I was high functioning, but it turns out I was just high."

When we first get clean, we are terrified that our performance will suffer and we'll disappoint others. With no drugs, we believe we are no longer creative beings or we're talentless hacks who never were. We doubt we'll be able to function, let alone complete projects on a deadline. Will our families still love us, because, surely, we'll be less easygoing and fun? And what about s*x?

As we heal, we begin to understand that the deep well of our creativity, our empathy, and our focus comes from developing a more honest relationship with ourselves and a connection to a Higher Power. We learn to acknowledge and release--even a tiny bit--our need for perfection and validation. Our expectations of ourselves become more realistic, and that gives us more integrity in how we contribute to our lives. We refocus the wasted energy we spent comparing ourselves to others toward being of service to fellow addicts and to our loved ones. And we may even discover new talents and abilities we never knew we had.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

I know I have something to offer the world. If I don't know what it is, I'm willing to ask for help to find out. If I already know, let me seek guidance on how to deliver it with humility and generosity.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

January 19, 2024
Making mountains into molehills
Page 19

"When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably."

Basic Text, p. 99

Some of us seem to make mountains out of molehills with our problems. Even those of us who've found some measure of serenity have probably blown a problem far out of proportion at some time in our recovery-and if we haven't done so yet, we probably will before long!

When we find ourselves obsessed with a complication in our lives, we will do well to sharply remind ourselves of all that is going right. Perhaps we're afraid we won't be able to pay our bills for the month. Instead of sitting at the calculator, adding our financial liabilities over and over, we can take stock of our efforts to reduce expenses. Following this mini-inventory, we continue with the task at hand and remind ourselves that as long as we are doing the footwork, a loving Higher Power will care for our lives.

Mountain-sized problems happen sometimes, but we don't need to create them. Trust in a loving God of our understanding will put most of our problems in their proper perspective. We no longer need to create chaos to feel excited about our lives. Our recovery gives us countless real-life opportunities for excitement and drama.

Just for Today: I will take a realistic look at my problems and see that most of them are minor. I will leave them that way and enjoy my recovery.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

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Morning meditation! Surrendering to win! Practicing spiritual principles core is honesty, open mindedness, and willingness. He who sows sparingly reaps sparingly, who who sows bountifully will reap bountifully (II Corinthians 9:6). When I inventory my life through step work, prayer, and meditation I can see the part I played in the messes of my life and I can also see where I was "washing feet" trying to help people or giving of time and sometimes money. By no means am I boasting I am a fallen/fallable human being, BUT GOD and Narcotics Anonymous have helped me to have a life I never imagined is it perfect absolutely not, but today the black key tag problems are way better than the Parsons Ave problems 💯. God thank You for anyone reading this and I pray that You will break the chains, set the captive free, release Your mercy and grace, and unconditional love acceptance show us Your will and help guide/strengthen us to follow it in Jesus name AMEN AND AMEN!!!!! LOVE YALL HAVE A BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED DAY 💯✝️💪🩶💯🔷️💪💙

January 18, 2024
Surrendering to Change
Page 18

"Surrender means having the open-mindedness to see things in a new way, as well as the willingness to live differently."

Living Clean, Chapter 3, "Awakening to Our Spirituality"

Change has a terrible reputation. It's scary and might make our lives less predictable. Many of us arrive in NA knowing for sure that we want to change the outside aspects of ourselves: improve our health and our finances, further our education, get a career. Common wisdom has it that "Change is an inside job," and that makes sense to us, too. We want to change our state of mind and stop bouncing between disturbing thoughts and complete numbness. We'd love to turn the volume way down on the negative chatter in our heads.

Then we learn the inside job is more than mental: NA is a spiritual program. For many of us addicts, that realization makes us feel like we've finally come home. For some of us, that's the moment many of us want to bolt out the door and never come back.

But we stay. We are told that living by spiritual principles means, at its core, being honest, open-minded, and willing. Even though we haven't been living that way, we see the value of those principles, and most of us want to be like that. When working a program, we ultimately default to telling the truth, rather than being avoidant or keeping secrets. We become open-minded to others' perspectives rather than relying on the outlook and behaviors that got us here. Being willing to get a sponsor, attend meetings, write some stepwork, and take a commitment is surrendering to the program's spiritual aspects. Gradually, we gain some freedom.

For those of us with more cleantime, it's no different. Being open-minded and surrendering to change continues to be a necessity if we want any level of serenity. We can become rigid or completely lax in our program. Staying connected to NA reminds us to apply what we've learned and to remain open to learning more.

——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Change is inevitable. I can choose to resist it or surrender to it. Surrender has a good reputation around here. I think I'll give it a try.

Copyright (c) 2007-2023, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved