Dealing with Pain - Rea-loaded

Sometimes life offers you no option but to survive...

You can be changed by what happens to you. But refuse to be reduced by it.

When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm is all about.

You don't know what is pain until you stare yourself in the mirror and beg yourself to be strong and to hold on......

Losing someone you love is like carrying a large stone in your pocket. Its heavy and its painful but you get used to moving around with the stone in your own pocket.

Sometimes trying to know what people think about us or our situation will only hurt us. Don't worry about people who always find fault in what you do, trust me, they have many faults themselves which they can't fix.

Remember dogs bark at anything the don't know or can't understand....

Sometimes you are so broken that even your soul refuse to be there for you.Sadness that we can’t explain is the worst.The worst kind of pain is when your heart cries and your eyes are dry.
BUT.......
Remember, when it starts hurting, life is trying to teach you something.

Real warriors are raised with pain.Few moments of pain can make you a legend for centuries.
!

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option. Sometimes we ignore the signs. The wrong person will never give you what you want, but they’ll make sure they get what they want from you ( be it friends or family). Most people gave their heart, never expecting to get it back in pieces.

Guard your heart from toxic people!

Today I will talk about how to release pain like I promised in my last post.
1. Admit that you are in pain and allow yourself to feel the pain. Never be immune to pain because it's cancerous to your soul. Trying to be immune to pain is like hiding a wound on your heel by wearing a shoe. You only make it worse. Be vulnerable and allow yourself to recollect your inner self and move one. But it starts by accepting that you are in pain.
2. Allow yourself to deal with it the way you feel will relieve you. If you need to cry, go on ahead and cry your eyes out. After that put your head up and go on. If you need to vent out just do so. If you need closure, go ahead and find it. Just make sure you are dealing with it.
3. Avoid self pity for it will sink you. Avoid people who provide pity party for you, they only slow you down. Self sympathy leads to destruction and depression.
4. Tell yourself you learn from your pain and painful situations makes us stronger. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.
5. Like i said in my previous past, don't ruminate on your past. Move on!!!!
6. Forgive if your pain is human influenced. Unforgiveness kills the source.
TBC..

There is no better way to deal with pain than going through it. I know because I did it too. I remember holding my dead baby and contemplating if I really wanted to live or die too. I didn't want to go through the pain. After a lot of painful days and nights I decided to go through the pain and that's how I started healing.

Most of us are trapped in painful pasts because we don't know how to deal with it.......

Release the pain and start your journey to healing. I will post on how to release pain.

[ ] Your situation is never the worst!!!

In life we face a lot of pain and it's ok to be hurt but always know that you are not the worst case. Knowing this simple truth will always fuel you to heal and go on.

In life one is always hurt by those we love the most. You give someone your heart and they tread on it mercilessly. You respect others and they humiliate you with all their might. You invest your trust and your are betrayed by the most trusted. You value others and they wear you out. You sacrifice for some and they spit it in your face. You honour people and they take you for granted. You cry and they continue making you cry. You preserve their hearts and they don't give a demn about yours. These are all sources of pain for different people in life.
You seem to be always losing when others are making it. You don't always get what you want most of the times. You seem to be always crying but is your case the worst. Just remember nobody owns your life but God alone. God's revenge is always the best. Let God be the judge in your case but again remember your case is not the worst. God is always watching.

!!!

Tips for Healing Emotional Pain

1. Let Go of Rejection

Rejection actually activates the same pathways in your brain as physical pain, which is one reason why it hurts so much. The feeling of rejection toys with your innate need to belong, and is so distressing that it interferes with your ability to think, recall memories and make decisions. The sooner you let go of painful rejections, the better off your mental health will be.

2. Avoid Ruminating

When you ruminate, or brood, over a past hurt, the memories you replay in your mind only become increasingly distressing and cause more anger – without providing any new insights. In other words, while reflecting on a painful event can help you to reach an understanding or closure about it, ruminating simply increases your stress levels, and can actually be addictive.

Ruminating on a stressful incident can also increase your levels of disease.

3. Turn Failure Into Something Positive

If you allow yourself to feel helpless after a failure, or blame it on your lack of ability or bad luck, it’s likely to lower your self-esteem. Blaming a failure on specific factors within your control, such as planning and ex*****on, is likely to be less damaging, but even better is focusing on ways you can improve and be better informed or prepared so you can succeed next time (and try again, so there is a next time).

4. Make Sure Guilt Remains a Useful Emotion

Guilt can be beneficial in that it can stop you from doing something that may harm another person (making it a strong "relationship protector"). But guilt that lingers or is excessive can impair your ability to focus and enjoy life.

If you still feel guilty after apologizing for a wrongdoing, be sure you have expressed empathy toward them and conveyed that you understand how your actions impacted them. This will likely lead to authentic forgiveness and relief of your guilty feelings.

5. Use Self-Affirmations if You Have Low Self-Esteem

While positive affirmations are excellent tools for emotional health, if they fall outside the boundaries of your beliefs, they may be ineffective. This may be the case for people with low self-esteem, for whom self-affirmations may be more useful. Self-affirmations, such as “I have a great work ethic,” can help to reinforce positive qualities you believe you have, as can making a list of your best qualities.

Self-pity is self-defeating. Tomorrow's success is based on today's discomfort. Plus, willpower is like a muscle: The more you exercise it, the stronger your will gets.

"Today's pain is tomorrow's power. The more you suffer today, the stronger you are tomorrow."

I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person. – Rita Mero

Forgive

In the blink of an eye everything can just change so I forgive as often as I can for i know that I might have no chance to. feel the most powerful when I forgive. Forgiveness frees you more than the person you have forgiven.

Forgive and move on. If its a toxic relationship, just walk away. If its a loss, move on. Jesus said your hand will hinder you from entering heaven, pluck it off. All He meant was that nothing should stop you from enentering heaven. No pain, relationship, etc is worthy missing heaven for.

Forgiveness is key

When in Pain , Pray

This is the hardest combination of all. Pain and prayer sometimes feel like trying to mix water and oil. When one is going through a very rough time, the easiest person to blame is God. This is because you will be saying "but why didn't come through for me when He is he ultimate power?" . All I can say to you is that if God were to show you what it could have been or how much He protected you, surely you will be embarrassed for even accusing Him of not doing enough.

There are times when you kneel down and fail to utter a word, trust me it's alright. God knows your heart and your pain. Tears are a language God can interpret. In your heart just never curse God. Just know that He remains God nommater what we go through. His love is forever and He carries our burdens for us. He even says "come to me all yee who are heavy laden for I will give you rest". Job lost everything including his own health but he never cursed God. It is during these trying times that our love for God is tried and tasted.

When you finally managed to pray, you will realise that all the comfort you desire is entirely in God. We heal faster when we are leaning on Him. He wipes those flowing tears with a love that is out of this universe.

Pray in a way and language you can for z God can hear anything from the heart. Pray !Pray ! Pray!

Hard but saves you

Talk your pain out. Bottled emotions can be very suicidal.It is better to say things out than destroy your inner being through regurgitation of painful thoughts. Opening update to someone is very hard sometimes yet relieving in most cases. You might feel like fighting your own demons on your own but remember a problem shared is half solved.I am one of the people who slowly opens up to people so I know it happens. I'm my case I use the concept of listening to others who have been through what I will be going through and it fuels me up to fight vigorously on. Naturally tend to open up to people who are going through what we're also going through because we know they are most likely to be feeling exactly what we feel. It's a relief to know that someone really understands. Please let it out before it bursts out of you on its own because the results are so painful and destructive! Share it! Confide!

Life can be like that...

Mental Re-calibration

After emotinal strain from a loss or disappointment, you need to and rediscover yourself. I would to call this recalibration stage.

This can be done my decompression of piled up thrashings and barterings from life. You can achieve this buy doing things that help you unwind for example taking walks, running, meditation or just doing something that refocuses your mind on something.

Personally when I feel like my chips are down, I listen to music, design and sometimes I just love talking to people closest to me. This really helps me to unwind and put my mind at ease. Sometimes it's hard to push yourself to do all these things but just do it because you will thank yourself later.

Giving in to your suffering is very comforting because it requires less effort for someone who is already at their weakest point. In letting go of our need to make pain fade away, we also let go of the clenching involved in the battle with our torture . Once we release our fierce grips, we can observe our pain more clearly and evenly. We can observe where we need to be and how to get to that stage. This requires a lot of effort.

Go out!
Take a walk!
Read!

Stay Positive

After losing my baby, I had so many questions that had no answers. I wanted to know why me. All I could think was why now and how could this have happened. I desperately wanted something or someone to castigate and put the blame on. My world had become so dark in an instant. Surely I was falling apart in a fast way than my mind could comprehend. All I was left with was to make a choice whether to go down and under, or to go through it all and still stay positive. I had to choose strength for it was the highest level of honor to my child's memory.

If you allow yourself to feel helpless after a loss,failure, or blame it on your lack of ability or bad luck, it’s likely to lower your self-esteem. Blaming a failure on specific factors within your control, such as planning and ex*****on, is likely to be less damaging, but even better is focusing on ways you can improve and be better informed or prepared so you can succeed next time (and try again, so there is a next time).

Focus on the opportunities of the future and concentrate on building yourself towards it.As for me, I chose to thank God for the time I had shared with my daughter Laura and I told myself that God had plans for her and that maybe she had came so as to teach us something. I was choosing to stay positive for i knew that negativity was simply power draining. I was drenched in pain yet I opted to stay put and fight on.

Stay put!

Please Stop Ruminating

It's really hard and almost impossible to avoid revisiting and brooding over past painful experiences. When one is in pain, it becomes kind of easy to ruminate over your worst nightmares. It seems right and logical to do this and it's easy to reassure yourself that this is right to dwell on the black spots of our lives but wisdom of overcoming pain says "move on".

Strying in the past always scratches you wound and it takes time for it to heal. Those painful flashbacks wickedly comes back harshly making your heart break and bleed afresh but you have to make a choice of letting it go. There is nothing as hard as letting go but by letting go you are also freeing yourself from the torture pain comes with. Walk out of that cell now before it becomes a life sentence. Avoiding ruminations sometimes feels like you are letting yourself down but it is actually your way to freedom.

In my own case, I use to repeatedly say,"My daughter I loved you so much with all my heart but I release you, I free you. Rest in eternal peace baby girl." These words were the most difficult words for me to utter at that moment yet also the most important words I hard to say. It felt like I was betraying my child or her memory but I was ushering myself to peace and freedom. These thoughts, if not dealt with, are the most dangerous and could kill you.

At one point I lost the drive to push on and the will to go on but I told myself that I stagger on nomatter how clumsy it was going to be as long as I was moving on. The greatest weapon I had was meditation on the love of God and His supremacy it was just to hard to grill myself in prayer. The more I did that, the more I felt His love surrounding me. It helped me open up to myself and the opportunities that laid ahead.

Reflect on the past but never dwell on it. Reflections helps you to draw important life lessons that can mold you into a better person. Life never becomes more forgiving but we become more resilient and persistent. If you nail yourself in the past it becomes a hustle to move away or break free from it. Stop ruminating and try to move on. Cry but push forward. Struggle but keep dragging yourself ahead. Fall but keep rising and moving on. Reflect but never continually brood on your painful experiences. Think but don't over-think.

HOW TO DEAL WITH PAIN

The first step when dealing with pain is simply going through it.

Most people avoid painful experiences by trying to act so strong. My advice is that when going through the hardest of times,relive your heart by crying if you need to. If its a loss of a loved one, grieve until you feel you can move on. It is okay to cry, my husband always tells me that grieving or crying is not a sign of weakness. Spill it out! Cry it out ! It is really necessary.

Nothing is as dangerous as bottled emotions, when they explode, they explode with you. Bottling pain can you roughly hence I urge all those who are in pain to let it all out and leave your system clean. Don't be embarrassed to let your emotions show.

When I lost my baby, I used to lock myself up and cry till I felt lighter.Grieving helped me accept that my girl was gone. I took all the time I needed emptying my heart. Slowly the pain eases. When facing disappointment, a broken love, betrayal, a lie or the loss of a loved one, we feel emotional , but painfully we need to nurse our heart to recovery.

When in pain please cry if you need to!

Psychological pain''' or '''mental pain''' is an unpleasant feeling ,a suffering of a psychological, non-physical, origin. How much you hurt as a human being. It is mental suffering or toment.

When facing disappointment, a broken love, betrayal, a lie or the loss of a loved one we feel emotional pain.

It's a feeling that is hard to deal with. It puts you in a cell that is difficult to come out of. I know all this from personal experiences that left my heart bleeding. Hearing it from someone who has walked the same road helps.