Dave Inglis - Threshold
A community of remarkable leaders building great families and businesses with a Triple Bottom Line!
07/12/2024
☀️ ANNOUNCEMENT ❤️
The Chief Family Officer workbook is now available for download!
www.daveinglis.ca/workbook
If you’ve read the book, this workbook is the perfect companion to help you dive into the practical exercises to improve life at home.
A big thank you to everyone who has reached out to connect with me. Your stories inspire me and are a constant reminder for why this work is so important.
And remember, whenever you are in doubt or unclear of what to do… just ask yourself…
“What would love do now?”
Big love, Dave
10/23/2023
While everyday with you is amazing, today is extra special (and bittersweet because you aren’t home!)
Happy Birthday ❤️🎂🥳🎉
I feel so blessed to walk through life with you as my partner. You’re an incredible mom, doctor and friend to so many and somehow still find the energy to make me feel like I’m loved endlessly the most important person in your world.
Yet, none of those titles will ever capture the beautiful and bright light that you are.
Birthdays are special and give us the opportunity to reflect on who we’ve become. Words could never describe how much I admire, respect and appreciate you. You are the reason I am the man and dad I am today. Hard to believe we’ve been laughing and building life together for almost 10 years together. I can’t wait to see what love unfolds for us in the many many decades to come.
I love you so much. I can’t wait for you to get home.
02/08/2023
Big meeting this afternoon to officially kick off a new chapter and challenge.
Winning is a team sport. And boy do we have a stellar team built to support me writing my first book.
Grit and tenacity are key ingredients to win in any sport or business, but only if we are applying our efforts on the right things, at the right time.
What do you do when you are feeling overwhelmed?
Do you buckle up and work harder? Or do you first step away from the work, separate facts and emotions, and ask great questions?
12/06/2022
This past weekend I had the pleasure of heading out west to lead a couples retreat for ~12 business owners and their spouses on Vancouver Island.
It is so easy to put all of our energy into building our business/careers, and forget to do the same for our most important enterprise - our family.
A big thank you to Marderé Birkill from TEC Canada for trusting me to coach and respectfully challenge your leaders to put 'Family First, Always’ and lead with purpose in 2023. You’ve built something really special and I am excited to continue cheering you on.
12/05/2022
The last few days in my life have been pretty special. While out west for work, I was able to add a few days on the back end to stay with my dear friend Daniel; someone who has quietly been in my corner for many years, playing a significant role in my life.
Each time I find myself saying goodbye to these types of people in my life, I find myself emotional. A mixture of deep appreciation, and worry that this may be the last time we see each other. You just never know.
I hope you have someone like Daniel your life.
Someone who challenges the way you view your world, and encourages you to find deeper levels of compassion.
I don’t share this to publicly to pump Daniel’s tires, and help more people discover the incredible he is. He isn’t on social media and wouldn’t care for this type of recognition. (And, he’s MY guy - back off and find your own 😂🙏 kiddinggggg ❤️)
I share this because IMO this is an example of the quality relationship and effortless belonging we are all quietly yearning for. My wish for you is that you can be a beneficiary and purveyor of this kind of friendship wherever you are in the world.
Salt spring island feels like home for me. But now it’s time to jump in a tin can and head back home to squeeze my kiddos and give Jen a big 💋 before turning around and heading to the states this week.
By the way, you know that incredible friend you have in your life who you haven’t caught up with in a bit? Go for a walk and give’em a call to check in. You won’t regret it.
STOP!!!!
Please, stop giving advice when others come to you asking for help or direction.
If someone is coming to you asking for advice, it’s likely because they are unclear about what is most important to them. They don’t have their own decision making process.
Yet, so many leaders light up at the opportunity to tell someone else what they would do. Easy to do when you don’t have to live with the decision yourself.
What might better look like?
Answering questions with….questions.
We need more leaders in the world who can guide others to make their own decisions with confidence and conviction.
I get asked how to do this all the time, and I’m tired of answering this question 1:1. More importantly, we need more people to hear the answer.
So, on December 16th we are going to open up a Zoom room for 60 min and share the questions we ask to help someone make a big decision they are proud of.
We are capping it to 30 people. Consider this your invitation.
If this speaks to you, comment below or send us a message to get the link.
11/12/2022
Are you someone that people reach out to for help and advice when they are making big decisions?
I bet you’re a bit like me, you feel honoured that someone would reach out to you, but you want to make sure that your advice and support is helpful.
There are two ways to respond to someone asking for advice and help.
Most people use this as an opportunity to ‘tell you about’ all of their experiences and explain what ‘they would do in your situation’.
But, if you want to make a real impact and help someone make a decision they are proud of…this is the completely wrong approach.
If we want to help, it is critical to remember that ‘people do things for their reasons, NOT yours’. So, if we want to help someone make a decision, we MUST help them uncover their reasons.
I get asked all the time, “what are the right questions to ask?”. So, I’m thinking of running a FREE 1 hour workshop to teach you exactly what to say when someone asks you for advice, and how to guide someone to make a brave decision that is right for them.
We would cap this session to 30 people.
Would you be interested in joining us?
11/01/2022
Last week I got a last minute request to fill in for a speaker who got sick last minute. Is something going around this week, or is it just me?
When great people like Lindsay McMurray give you a call asking for a favour, you make it happen.
Another great TEC Canada experience teaching business owners how uncover Exactly What to Say™ in the conversations that matter most in their business.
Giving feedback to under-performing team members.
Reconnecting after conflict.
Customer discovery calls.
Business partner negotiations.
Asking for referrals.
The first 5 minutes after walking in the door from work.
We covered it all.
Thanks Sue Cook, Robert Farr, Jennifer Green, Chris MacMillan and Josh Small. Until next time 🙏 🤝 ❤
Most people wait until pain reaches a 9/10 or 10/10 before making a decision to change something.
In my experience coaching hundreds of leaders, there are always a few red-flags and signing leading up to this moment. But, we’re often too busy and distracted to notice them.
I asked a few of our clients how they were feeling before taking Strategic Solitude back in summer 2022. Does this resonate with you today?
Could it be possible that you might benefit from having some space to get clear and reset how your leading and investing in yourself?
We’ve got 3 spots left in our upcoming Strategic Solitude experience on November 11th
It’s easy to fall out of love with your business when it starts to run your entire life. In my experience, one of the main reason entrepreneurs fall out of love with their business and want to exit is because they have not made the switch from ‘Business Operator’ to ‘Business Owner’.
Andrew Turner has helped dozens of business owners install EOS to get what they want from their business.
The outcome? When done right, owners put themselvse in a position to fall back in love with the business, or leave it without leaving their hard work and money on the table.
Do you use an operating system like EOS to run your business? Your family?
10/24/2022
Who do you know that’s talked about needing some time to reset and make some decisions?
On November 11th I am bringing together a great group of ~10 leaders for a full day of Strategic Solitude.
Strategy + Sauna + Solitude + Great Food + Community = A perfect reset to finish strong in 2022 and get clear for 2023.
If you’re interested in learning more, send me a quick DM and I can shoot you the details.
10/21/2022
These are the faces of a bunch of leaders who just had their mind blown by Clay Hebert during a private client session we ran earlier this week.
I bet you’re a bit like me, and find answering the question ‘So what do you do?’ awkward and frustrating to answer.
For me, I have so much on the go that half the time I blow this question because I try to explain EVERYTHING I’m doing right now.
For many others, they sell themselves short and fail to share the incredible work they do in the world out of fear of being boring or perceived as being too self-centred.
On average, we answer this question about 1000/year. After our ‘Perfect Intro’ session with Clay Hebert yesterday, I can’t wait to answer this question now.
If you want to become more confident in how you answer the question, “So what do you do?”, check out Clay’s TED talk. It’s a dynamite place to start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow9qahWkFeQ
A sneak peek behind the scenes here.
This is a video message I sent to a client via text a few days back. I reached out to check-in, and he expressed some frustration that he is was still a ‘work-in progress’.
Gosh, we are so hard on ourselves sometimes. Permission to be human.
10/19/2022
Wow, yesterday was good fun.
If you’re a business owner or executive, and you haven’t heard about TEC Canada yet…you are missing out.
A big thanks to Lindsay McMurray for bringing me in to coach your CEO group yesterday in beautiful Niagara-on-the-Lake.
During our time together, we guided each CEO to:
- Identify the most critical conversations in their business,
• Understand how they each disconnect during conflict
• Use curiosity to create context in high-stake environments, and
• Learn Exactly What to Say to have better conversations that create more opportunities to make an impact
Hayden Barker, Rob Clark, Diane Craig, Jenny Faucher, Kelly Formela, Silvina Galperin, Rob Hanna, Jennifer Hayward, Brian Hendel, Andrew Kimber, Agnes Lan, Janice Leroux, Hugh MacPhie, Ali Motalebpour, Dean Smalley - A big thanks for your time and energy. I loved your ability as a group to come together to work hard, and have some fun along the way. Lindsay McMurray - you’ve pulled together something special here.
The Issue List is a BIG IDEA in EOS (Entrepreneurs Operating System) Andrew Turner
What I love most about the concept of an Issue List is that it implies we should be expecting issues to come up.
Instead of sweeping it under the rug and attempting to construct a utopian where everyone is happy all the time, the Issue List allows team members to regularly table challenges and create the space to define and solve the issue.
Much like popcorn, a kernel needs some heat to change state. As Issue List is a simple and effective tool to isolate challenges and turn them into opportunities for growth.
Do you take the time to get in the right emotional state before solving an issue?
Here is a sneak peak at a video message I sent a client last week who was frustrated that his consistency was slipping.
We’ve all been there. You start to make some great change and progress, but you slip back. You attend a kick-ass conference or offsite leaving jacked up with clarity and conviction, yet a month later you’re back in the trench struggling with what feels like the same thing over and over.
What did you expect to happen? If you’re like most people, performance and focus slip. Often way more than we would like to admit. Yet, instead of expecting that and choosing to begin again, we marinate in our addictions to manage our illusion of inadequacy.
A great business has systems to manage and reset how resources and energy is deployed. You deserve one to, but you have to create it.
If this speaks to you and you’re looking to reset, message me and I’ll help you understand how to get started. DMs and Inbox open.
I always say, “It’s always better to work on the plumbing when it isn’t raining.”
The truth is, many of the bigger problems in our families and teams have been compounding over time. Yet, most of us make the mistake of trying to solve the problem in the moment it’s happening.
To navigate challenges effectively we have to separate FACTS and EMOTIONS. And, the best way to do this?
Create an ISSUE LIST.
You can listen to our whole conversation to learn more about how Andrew and I use an Issue List to effectively solve the big issues: https://www.daveinglis.ca/blog/conversation-with-andrew-turner
10/12/2022
If there is one thing I could 10x the amount of money I spend on, it’s taking great friends out on once in a lifetime adventures to enjoy some quality time together.
Had a blast yesterday taking out for some fly fishing with the best in the business .river.guiding
The forest was remarkable 🍂, sun shining and the fish were hungry! All wrapped up with a great night at home with the kids and a hot sauna before bed 💤
Gosh, I just love Andrew Turner’s honesty and humility. I did the same thing almost 10 years ago, and it led to my partner at the time walking out on me. Building your career and family at the same time is tough stuff.
I admire leaders who go ALL IN on business, but in the absence of regularly communicating with our family about our shared prioritizes, it is all too easy for us to not just borrow time from our family to build our businesses, but we end up stealing it.
Andrew hits the nail on the head here - it’s seldom malicious in intent, but rather a way of expressing our deep desire to protect and care for the people that we love.
My chat with Andrew earlier this month reminded me of how important is to stay curious in our relationships and regularly ask each other what we want. Could it be possible that some of the people in your life just want more time with you?
Listen to our full conversation here: https://www.daveinglis.ca/blog/conversation-with-andrew-turner
09/20/2022
Next week I am bringing together a group ~15 of leaders to define Exactly What to Say in the most important conversations in their business.
We have 5 spots left. Would you like to join us?
09/16/2022
If you change your words, you can change your world.
Swipe for reviews from Jodi Meiering, Lynne Zimmerman, Jeff Howell, and Jeff Bedore.
Our next cohort of Exactly What to Say starts on September 29th. You can learn more and register here: www.daveinglis.ca/ewts-workshop
No one is going to want to dance with you, if you are a few beats ahead of the music.
Same goes for important conversations. Before we make any suggestions, we must EARN THE RIGHT to make a recommendation.
On September 29th we are kicking off an Exactly What to Say™ workshop series to teach leaders how to have more impact and influence in critical conversations.
No one is going to want to dance with you if you are a few beats ahead of the music. I'll flip you the details.
09/08/2022
There are only a handful of skills that have the ability to make a significant difference and impact in all areas of your life.
The quality of questions you ask is absolutely one of them.
Remember, your success is determined by the quality and quantity of questions you ask.
Back in July, we brought together a group of 25 leaders to teach them how to improve the quality of their questions to create more value and impact.
We pin-pointed the conversations that mattered most and guided each leaders to learn exactly what to say.
A few leaders were focused on selling ideas to upper management. A handful were working to enroll partners to buy-in to a vision or strategy. Others were focused on creating new business opportunities or leading their team through tough conversations.
While everyone’s context was a different, everyone was committed to uncovering opportunities to take their communication skills to the next level.
The results have been outstanding.
The good news is that we are starting our next Exactly What to Say series on September 29th. I can’t wait.
If you’re interested in joining us send me a DM or comment below, and I’d be happy to flip you some more details!
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to learn from Marcel O'Gorman.
When we expand our definition and awareness of death, we can recognize that the 'end of life' shows up in many shapes and forms.
The loss of a job. The loss of a parent or loved one. Our kids moving out.
If you want to gracefully navigate these transitions in life, one of the best things you can do is acknowledge your own vulnerability on this planet.
When we do this, we adjust our relationality with the people and objects around us and become more patient and understanding in the process.
08/30/2022
Permission to be human.
It's normal to find ourselves frustrated with others, and the way they show up.
However, stories gone unexamined can debilitate our ability to focus on the right things.
Just like a loud noise outside, it's hard to focus without getting up from your chair to see what is going on.
There are two types of people in the world. Those who allow their stories and thoughts to drive their attention and behavior. And those who make a choice to challenge their own narratives.
So next time you feel yourself distracted by something or someone in your life, ask yourself this simple question.
Is it true? Can you absolutely know it's true?
If the answer is not 100% yes, it's a NO. Move on.
08/29/2022
There are many ways to define success. This one is at the top of the list for me ☝️! Remember, true freedom is all about being able to be present in any condition without the need for control.
Mortality Salience - how close to the surface is your recognition of the fact that you are a mortal creature who is going to die?
Marcel O'Gorman shared some incredible wisdom during a recent group experience at Threshold.
One of the most important takeaways for me from this conversation with Marcel is recognizing how unaware I am of the ways that I suppress my own awareness of mortality.
It's amazing how clear and simple everything becomes when I revisit the reality of my finite nature as a human.
Understanding your emotional needs is a critical point of awareness to affair-proof your most important relationships. And, I'm not just talking about your intimate relationships at home.
Think about the great resignation that we've been witnessing/participating in over the last 2 years.
Regardless if it's in business or at home, when our emotional needs are not being met, we start to look elsewhere to quench the human thirst for connection and belonging.
And guess what! The good news is, YOU are the only one responsible for creating an environment where your emotional needs are met.
So if you're looking across the fence wonder thinking the grass is greener elsewhere...slow down, and start reflecting on what emotional needs of yours are NOT being met and why.
Because let's not forget, wherever you go...there you are. If you are unable to fully understand what you need in relationships, there is a good chance that grass will feel the same.
And if you want to affair-proof your relationships, the best thing you can do is create the space for meaningful conversations to learn about the emotional needs of the people that matter most to you.
With better awareness, we make better decisions and take more intentional action.
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