Two Trees Psychotherapy

Men's Mental Health Awareness Month

In addition to Pride and Indigenous History Month, June is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to bring attention to the unique challenges men face when it comes to their mental well-being. It's time to break down the walls, open up the conversation, and support everyone in their mental health.

In a world where societal pressures often encourage men to "be strong" and "tough it out," it's crucial to remember that mental health knows no gender. It's okay to not be okay, and it takes courage to ask for help.

Allies, let's create an environment where men feel safe and supported to share their struggles without judgment.

Men, let's be accountable for our own mental health and how it impacts our lives, relationships, and communities.

Here are a few ways you can show your support this month:

- Educate yourself: Learn about the unique mental health challenges men may face and how you can be a supportive ally.

- Speak up: Start conversations about men's mental health in your communities, workplaces, and social circles. Let's normalize talking about our emotions and experiences.

- Be there: Reach out to the men in your life. A simple check-in can make a world of difference. Let them know you're there to listen and support them.

- Encourage self-care: Advocate for self-care practices and promote healthy coping mechanisms. Encourage men to prioritize their mental well-being and seek professional help when needed.

Please share this post as there may be a man in your life who needs to know they are not alone.

Imagine your energy levels (physical, emotional, spiritual) as a battery. When we push ourselves relentlessly without proper rest and self-care, our battery drains into the red zone, leaving us with minimal distress tolerance and cognitive bandwidth.

Understanding what depletes our energy—such as overwork, stress, and lack of sleep—and what recharges it—like exercise, nutrition, and meaningful connections—is crucial for maintaining optimal mental and physical health. Stress and burnout have direct and significant impacts on overall health and wellness and can contribute to chronic illness and disease; this is more than being tired and overbooked.

THE KEY: Burnout is not just about rest; it's a systemic issue. The system we operate within, with its demands and supports, influences our battery levels. True recovery requires stepping back to assess and modify the system itself to prevent future burnout.

We've all experienced the cycle of feeling burned out, taking a vacation to 'recharge,' only to find ourselves back in the red zone soon after returning. If we do not make changes to the system that burned us out in the first place, it is inevitable that battery will drain once again.

What is draining your battery? How are you replenishing? Is there balance? Where can you unplug an energy consumer and plug-in to a charger?

“The peace you are looking for is on the other side of the pain you don’t want to feel.” - Cory Muscara

Avoiding your pain isn’t helping you.

In therapy, we focus on confronting and processing those tough emotions. It’s not easy, but facing your pain is the key to finding real peace. By doing the hard work, you break through the barriers holding you back. Embrace the challenge, and you'll come out stronger and more at peace with yourself.

Obviously we are not in this for the recognition but to know that our practice and support is valued in our beautiful community affirms the work we do with our clients. Cheers.

CommunityVotes Simcoe County 2024 Official 2024 Community Voting Awards Platform for Simcoe County, ON. Where the community votes for their favourites every year.

...cannot recommend this book enough, on both a personal and professional level.

"It's Not You" by Dr. Ramani Durvasula offers a beacon of hope and understanding for those whose lives have been darkened by the presence of narcissistic individuals. With over twenty years of expertise, Dr. Durvasula not only demystifies narcissism—a frequently misunderstood personality trait, and in come cases disorder—but also guides readers through the process of healing and reclaiming their autonomy.

Key Takeaways:
Understanding Narcissism: The book breaks down the complex nature of narcissism, making it accessible and understandable, helping readers identify narcissistic behaviors in those around them.

Confronting Toxic Cycles: Dr. Durvasula emphasizes the importance of recognizing and confronting the toxic cycles that narcissists create, providing strategies for breaking free from these patterns.

Self-Protection: Essential advice on protecting one's energy and well-being in the face of narcissistic manipulation is a cornerstone of this work. It's about creating a safe space for oneself amidst chaos.

Creating Boundaries: The author stresses the significance of setting realistic and firm boundaries with narcissists, a crucial step towards self-preservation and healing.
Reclaiming Your Self: Perhaps the most vital takeaway is the encouragement to reclaim one’s true self. Dr. Durvasula provides actionable advice for those looking to recover their sense of self after being eroded by a narcissist’s influence.

A Compassionate Guide:
It's Not You is more than a book; it's a journey of understanding, confronting, and ultimately overcoming the shadows cast by narcissistic relationships. Dr. Durvasula's compassionate approach provides solace and practical steps for those seeking to heal and move forward, stronger and more aware than ever.

This book is a must-read for anyone who feels they've been touched by the cold hand of narcissism, offering light in a place that may have felt shadowed for far too long.

“The therapeutic relationship is as powerful, if not more powerful, than the particular treatment method a therapist is using.” - John C. Norcross, PhD

The therapeutic relationship refers to the trustful, empathetic, and aligned rapport between a client and their therapist. It's the foundation upon which the therapy process is built, characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and a sense of partnership. The therapeutic relationship has been found to be the most reliable predictor of positive client outcomes, regardless of modality or approach involved in treatment.

A strong therapeutic alliance creates a safe and supportive environment, allowing clients to openly express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It is considered essential for effective therapy because it facilitates engagement, encourages vulnerability, and enhances the receptivity to therapeutic interventions, thereby playing a critical role in the client achieving their preferred outcomes from therapy.

Inspired by Brené Brown's B.R.A.V.I.N.G. inventory, let's explore the key components to a positive therapeutic relationship:

Boundaries - Respecting personal and professional space and limits.
Reliability - Consistency in words and actions.
Accountability - Owning mistakes and making amends.
Vault – Trust in keeping confidentiality.
Integrity - Doing what’s right over what’s easy and practicing your values.
Non-judgment – Holding space and honouring stories without judgment.
Generosity - Extending the most generous interpretation to the intentions, words, and actions of others.

If any of these components are missing in your therapeutic relationship, your therapist should at the very least be open to discussing this with you and assessing the efficacy of working together. Like any relationship it takes both people to participate in maintaining and developing the rapport which includes repairing ruptures when they occur.

Imagine the boundless openness to new experiences, self-discovery, and mutual understanding we could achieve if the world embraced Walt Whitman's timeless counsel to "be curious, not judgemental."

It's easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and harsh judgement, but imagine the transformation if we approached our flaws, fears, and dreams with curiosity instead. Every stumble, every flaw is a fascinating story of who we are and who we can become. Let's commit to understanding ourselves deeper, learning with kindness, and growing beyond our imagined limits.

At its core, curiosity drives the desire to learn and acquire new knowledge. It motivates individuals to explore unknown areas, ask questions, and seek answers, leading to a deeper understanding of complex concepts and the discovery of new interests. Judgment, on the other hand, involves forming an opinion or conclusion about ourselves, someone or something, often without all the necessary information or understanding. Judgment can be based on biases, stereotypes, or superficial assessments, and it tends to close off further inquiry or understanding.

Curiosity encourages learning, fosters innovation, enhances relationships, and contributes to personal well-being. Its role in personal development and societal progress underscores its importance as a trait to cultivate and cherish.

Embracing curiosity over judgment leads to a more fulfilling, compassionate, and productive life. Here's to nurturing a curious spirit within us, exploring the uncharted territories of our inner world with openness and compassion.

"What if I'm not as smart or talented as everyone thinks I am?"
"How long can I keep this up before I fail?"
"Why can't I feel as confident as others seem to be?"
"Do I belong here among these talented people?"

Sound familiar?

Imposter phenomenon, often inaccurately referred to as "imposter syndrome," is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a "fraud," despite evident success or competence. This term was first identified in the 1970s by psychologists Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance.
The reason it's more accurately called a "phenomenon" rather than a "syndrome" is that the latter term can imply a clinical or medical condition, which imposter feelings are not. It is not recognized as a mental disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Referring to it as a phenomenon acknowledges its widespread occurrence without pathologizing the experience, recognizing it as a common and normal reaction to certain situations rather than a personal deficiency or psychiatric illness.

A vast majority of individuals, regardless of their profession, achievements, or level of success, experience periods where they doubt their skills and fear being exposed as a "fraud."

The phenomenon spans across genders, ages, and professions, highlighting its widespread nature and the importance of addressing it to foster a healthy self-perception and professional confidence. See the slide deck for ways to move through imposter phenomenon using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) strategies.

If you are struggling with imposter phenomenon and it is causing anxiety or overwhelming self-doubt reach out to a mental health professional; they likely know it well personally and professionally.

Our actions speak volumes, revealing our deepest thoughts, emotions, and needs. Understanding this concept is crucial for personal growth and fostering healthier connections both with others and just as important, with ourselves.

Behaviour and non-verbal communication do not replace words and difficult conversations, but it does communicate to our loved ones, colleagues, friends, and communities important information about who we are and how we feel.

A warm smile, a comforting touch, or a supportive gesture can convey love, empathy, and trust without uttering a word can communicate more than any words could. On the flip side, negative behaviours like withdrawal, criticism, or aggression can signal underlying distress or unmet needs, calling for compassionate attention and understanding.

By recognizing behaviour as a form of communication, we empower ourselves to decipher its messages, paving the way for greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Moreover, in relationships, this insight fosters empathy and compassion, promoting deeper connections built on genuine understanding and mutual respect.
There is just as much truth (sometimes more) in our/their actions than our/their words.

Getting Your Daily D.O.S.E. of Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins

As a psychotherapist, as part of the bio-psycho-social model, I often emphasize the power of understanding our own neurochemistry in enhancing mental well-being. Today, let's dive into the fascinating world of our brain's well-being chemicals: Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. These are not just buzzwords; they're keys to unlocking a more balanced, fulfilled life.

While each chemical plays a unique role in our emotions and how we experience well-being, they also teach us valuable lessons about seeking balance and nurturing our mental health. Remember, it's not about constant highs but understanding and harnessing these chemicals to improve our overall happiness.

With an understanding this information should not to replace formal treatments for mental health concerns, swipe through to learn how you can activate these natural mood boosters in your daily life.

“Because we’ve transformed the world from a place of scarcity to a place of overwhelming abundance: Drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting . . . the increased numbers, variety, and potency of highly rewarding stimuli today is staggering. The smartphone is the modern-day hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for a wired generation.”

Breaking free from entrenched habits is a journey fraught with challenges, yet it's a journey worth embarking on. Dr. Anna Lembke's book, "Dopamine Nation," sheds light on the neuroscience behind habit formation and addiction, offering valuable insights for reclaiming control over our lives.

Dr. Lembke emphasizes the role of dopamine in shaping habits and the modern environment's contribution to addictive behaviors. However, she also provides hope and practical strategies for breaking the cycle.

Key insights from "Dopamine Nation" include the importance of mindfulness and self-awareness in identifying triggers and cues that fuel habits. Additionally, Dr. Lembke highlights the need to cultivate intrinsic rewards such as meaningful relationships and personal growth to counteract the allure of addictive behaviors.

As a psychotherapist, I integrate these insights into my practice, guiding clients towards understanding their habits and empowering them with tools for change. From cognitive-behavioral techniques to mindfulness practices, there are various trauma-informed strategies individuals can employ to break free from habituation and pursue a path of fulfillment.

Breaking habits isn't easy, but with patience, perseverance, and support, it's possible. By embracing Dr. Lembke's insights, individuals can take meaningful steps towards reclaiming control over their lives and fostering habits that align with their values. As a therapist, I'm committed to supporting clients on this journey towards freedom and empowerment.

Here's a gentle nudge for everyone:
"If you don’t take time for your wellness, you will be forced to take time for your illness" - Joyce Sunada

This powerful quote reminds us that self-care is not just an optional indulgence, but an essential part of our overall well-being. Ignoring your mental and physical health can lead to burnout, stress, and illness.

Make self-care a priority: whether it's a few minutes of mindfulness, a walk in nature, or setting boundaries in your personal and professional life. Remember, taking care of yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary for a healthy, fulfilling life.

The concept of "Blue Monday" as the most depressive day of the year is not based on any scientific or psychological research. Instead, it originated as a marketing gimmick.

In 2005, a British travel agency called Sky Travel, in collaboration with a psychologist named Dr. Cliff Arnall, claimed to have developed a formula that calculated the "most depressing day of the year." This formula took into account various factors, including weather conditions, post-holiday debt, time since Christmas, failed New Year's resolutions, and low motivation levels. According to their calculations, the third Monday in January was the day that supposedly had the highest combination of these negative factors.

It's important to note that this formula was widely criticized by experts in the field of mental health and psychology. The concept of designating a specific day as the "most depressing" oversimplifies the complexities of mental health and depression, which can be influenced by a wide range of individual and environmental factors.

In recent years, there has been a growing awareness of the potential harm in perpetuating the idea of a specific day as the most depressing and the impact it can have on individuals who are struggling with mental health issues. Mental health organizations and experts emphasize the importance of taking mental health seriously year-round and not attributing depressive feelings to a particular date on the calendar.

"Blue Monday" as the most depressive day of the year is a concept that was created as a marketing ploy and lacks scientific validity. It's crucial to approach mental health issues with understanding and compassion, recognizing that they are complex and not tied to a specific day or formula.

Get outside.
Get sunlight.
Stay active.
Sleep and eat well.
Connect with your people.
Go to therapy.

Understanding EMDR Therapy

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a unique and effective approach to healing from trauma and other distressing life experiences.

Developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro, EMDR therapy is based on the idea that negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are the result of unprocessed memories. The goal of EMDR is to process these memories, reduce their lingering effects, and allow for the development of more adaptive coping mechanisms.

Benefits of EMDR:
 Reduces the impact of trauma and stress: EMDR helps to diminish the intense emotions associated with traumatic memories.
 Faster results: Many clients experience the benefits of EMDR more quickly than traditional talk therapy.
 Supports emotional healing: It fosters a holistic healing of emotional distress.
 Empowers clients: EMDR encourages an internal locus of control, where clients feel more in charge of their emotional state.

EMDR therapy involves eight phases, focusing on past memories, present disturbances, and future actions. During sessions, the therapist will guide you through specific eye movements or other bilateral stimulation while recalling distressing events, aiding your brain in processing these memories.

EMDR is not just for PTSD; it’s effective for a variety of emotional and psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, and panic disorders.

If you’re curious about EMDR or wondering if it’s right for you, reach out to a qualified EMDR therapist for a free consultation. EMDR is offered both virtually and in-person at Two Trees Psychotherapy.

In 'Bittersweet,' Susan Cain illuminates the poignant truth that it is often through our most sorrowful moments that we find the deepest connections to beauty, creativity, and the human experience.

As a psychotherapist, I constantly witness the transformative power of embracing grief and sorrow. This book, 'Bittersweet' by Susan Cain, is a profound exploration of how our darkest emotions can lead to the greatest growth and understanding.

Whether you are navigating your own journey through grief or supporting someone who is, this book offers invaluable insights. It teaches us that there is immense strength and beauty in vulnerability, and that even in our moments of deepest sadness, we are not alone.

I highly recommend 'Bittersweet' to anyone seeking to understand the complex tapestry of human emotions. It's more than just a book; it's a companion for those dark times, guiding us towards acceptance and empathy.

"No matter how much your culture tells you to smile; it’s not human to simply move on. But this doesn’t mean we can’t move forward."
-Susan Cain, Bittersweet

Grief is a journey unique to each of us, a path filled with valleys and peaks, moments of darkness and glimmers of light. ⁣

In a world that often expects us to hide our pain behind a smile, let's remember that healing is a process, not a destination. It's okay to honor our emotions, to feel the weight of loss, and to acknowledge that moving forward doesn't mean leaving the past behind. ⁣

Together, let's embrace the authenticity of our grief, supporting one another as we navigate the intricate web of emotions. And in the midst of sorrow, may we find the strength to take steps forward, cherishing the memories and lessons that guide us on this journey.

With an increase in followers and an expanding practice, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude to those I support privately and to those who access the information and resources here.

My name is Benjamin (Ben) Childs (he/him) and I am a Registered Psychotherapist in the province of Ontario, and the founder of Two Trees Psychotherapy.

With a passion cultivated over a 15-year career in human services and enriched by my own lived experiences with trauma and mental health, I'm here to connect with you. Using a person-centered and trauma-informed integrative framework, I create a safe, confidential, and compassionate space for individuals to explore complex emotions and experiences in my practice. I take pride in breaking barriers to mental health care and fostering equity.

Psychotherapy, like other holistic approaches, is unique to the individual. It addresses crises and promotes long-term mental well-being. Whether you're a current client seeking session-related insights or part of the wider community interested in mental health/wellness, stigma reduction, and education, find valuable resources here. My goal with this page is to offer insights into therapy, mental health, and relationships.

⚠️ Important Note: Instagram is not therapy; it complements professional counseling. This space is a supplement, not a replacement. Your mental health is paramount.

If anything shared here guides someone to a crisis line, aids in setting boundaries, or provides solace in shared struggles, then this page is fulfilling its purpose.

For more information, please visit my website in my bio.

Cheers,

Ben

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As of today, people across Canada will be able to call and text 9-8-8, a new three-digit service, for help when they need it most.

9-8-8 is a free service available to anyone in Canada who is thinking about su***de, in emotional distress, or who is worried about someone they know.

Having an easy-to-remember phone number number for mental health crisis support will allow those struggling to have accessible support they need, when they need it.

***de ***deprevention ***depreventionhotline ***depreventionlifeline ***depreventionawareness ***decanada

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that occurs at a specific time of the year, typically during the fall and winter months. Its exact cause is not fully understood, but several factors are believed to contribute to the development of SAD (The exact interplay of these factors is complex and varies from person to person):

• Biological Clock (Circadian Rhythm)
• Serotonin Levels
• Melatonin Levels
• Genetics
• Environmental Factors
• Psychological Factors

SAD can make you feel down, lethargic, and even impact your daily life. To help mitigate its effects, consider these tips:

• Soak Up the Sun: Try to spend time outdoors during daylight hours, even on cloudy days. Sunlight can help boost your mood and regulate your body's internal clock.
• Eat Nutrient-Rich Foods: Consume a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Nutrient-dense foods can provide the energy and nourishment your body needs.
• Stay Active & Mindful: Regular exercise, such as yoga or a daily walk, can help alleviate SAD symptoms. Practicing mindfulness can also be a valuable tool for managing stress.
• Self-Care & Stay Connected: Take time for self-care, like cozy evenings with a good book or a warm cup of tea. Don't forget to reach out to friends and family for support during these challenging times.

Remember, SAD is a real and treatable condition. If you're struggling, don't hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional. Treatments, including light therapy, psychotherapy, and medication, can be effective in managing the disorder and improving one's quality of life during the affected seasons. You're not alone, and there's support available.

Embracing growth means acknowledging the past, even if it's bittersweet. As we work on ourselves and become better, we often start to realize just how much we've missed out on in life, how some people failed us, and what the younger version of us truly deserved. It's a painful realization, but it's an essential part of healing and personal growth.

Healing isn't always about moving forward with a smile; it also involves healthy grieving. We must allow ourselves to feel the pain, disappointment, and sadness that come with understanding our past. Only then can we truly let go, make room for positive change, and pave the way for a brighter future.

Are you unknowingly keeping yourself stuck?

A common metaphor we use in therapy is that of an anchor that provides a boat with safety and stability through calm currents and torrent storms.

The anchor, though initially dropped to provide stability and security during that storm, has now become an unnecessary weight holding you back from moving in any direction or exploring life any further than you've come.

In this case the anchor represents self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs that were once intended to protect you from harm or failure but now hinder your progress and prevent you from sailing towards your goals.

To move forward, you must first recognize the anchor (those former coping mechanisms developed throughout childhood and your lived experience) in order to understand where they came from and how they are no longer serving us. This process can be challenging but it is necessary in order to allow yourself to move consciously experience vulnerability again and move toward the life you want to live.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers

Forgiveness can have a significant impact on mental health. Here are several ways in which forgiveness can positively affect one's mental well-being:

Reduces Stress: Harboring resentment can lead to chronic stress. Forgiveness can release the negative emotions associated with the offense, which can alleviate stress and promote a sense of calm.

Improves Emotional Well-being: Forgiveness allows individuals to let go of negative emotions, such as anger, bitterness, and revenge. This emotional release can lead to a greater sense of happiness, inner peace, and overall emotional well-being.

Enhances Relationships: Forgiveness is crucial for repairing and rebuilding damaged relationships. By forgiving others, you can let go of the negative experiences and open the door to healthier, more positive interactions.

Boosts Self-esteem: Forgiveness can contribute to improved self-esteem and self-worth. When you forgive someone, you take back control over your emotions and actions, showing strength and resilience.

Promotes Empathy and Compassion: Forgiveness often involves understanding the perspective of the person who caused harm and developing empathy and compassion for them. Cultivating these qualities can lead to greater empathy and compassion for others in general, which can positively impact mental health and relationships.

It is important to note that forgiveness is a personal journey, and it does not mean condoning or forgetting the offense. It is about letting go of the negative emotions and finding peace within oneself. Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can be beneficial for individuals struggling with forgiveness or related mental health issues.

"The impact of one affirming adult can be the beacon of hope that guides a gay child through the storms of uncertainty, showing them that love and acceptance are not conditional but boundless."

With homophobic and transphobic protests planned across Canada today under the guise of protecting children, it is imperative we take an equal and stronger stance to protect children’s human rights.

When defending ‘parental rights’ please consider the fact that some adults hold harmful and rigid views around sexual orientation and gender identity which does not provide their children and youth with a safe and affirming environment at home. Some of these children are only able to find that safety and support in their school environment with affirming adults and peers.

Children's Rights ARE Human Rights! Here's why we prioritize them:

Universal Values: Children, like adults, have inherent human dignity and deserve fundamental rights, no matter their age or dependency.

Vulnerability: Kids are more vulnerable, making it vital to protect them from harm and ensure their well-being.

Legal Frameworks: International treaties like the Convention on the Rights of the Child affirm children's rights, emphasizing their universality.

Balancing Act: While parental rights are crucial, they must be balanced with children's best interests to ensure their welfare.

Supporting trans and non-binary youth is about creating a world where everyone can thrive authentically. Here's why it matters:

Identity Validation: Every young person deserves to be celebrated for who they are, regardless of their gender identity.

Mental Health: Support fosters better mental health, reducing the emotional toll of discrimination and rejection.

Safe Learning: Creating inclusive spaces in schools ensures that trans and non-binary youth can focus on learning, not fearing bias.

Building Allies: By supporting these youth, we inspire empathy, educate others, and build a more accepting society.

A More Equitable World: Supporting trans and non-binary youth is a step toward a world where everyone's rights are respected.