Maisie Ruttan - Heart Centered & Holistic Sleep

😬 Okay, I know what you’re thinking…

Child-led parenting is a lovely concept in theory. Every parent wants the best for their child. To meet their needs for optimal growth and development 🌱

But being child-led isn’t the right way to go about it when YOU are struggling.

It’s a hard one to conceptualize because your child has so many true needs in those first 12 months…

But as the toddler years hit… things turn a little gray, and that distinction between “want” and “need” becomes harder to determine 🤷‍♀️

As a parent navigating bedtime challenges, you are responsible for helping to get your child ready for bed (and get to bed) when they are both sleepy and tired

BUT this does not mean you have to continue doing all the work to help them fall asleep

If your child needs to cuddle, suckle, rock, hair twirl or ear twiddle for an hour + every night - or whatever else you are finding incredibly challenging at the moment. It’s okay to make a change 🛌😴

Of course, your child will still need to be supported, in a responsive and kind way. But, that support CAN have limits.

Every single one of my client’s struggle with this. They worry… Am I doing the right thing? Will this screw my child up? Am I being selfish?

BUT - My most successful clients ALSO have this in common... 🌟

✅ They recognize that being child-led can lead to frustration and resentment
✅ They want their child to get the best version of them (not the cranky version)
✅ The thought of “waiting-it-out” feels impossible

Guilt-free change IS possible with my Heart-Centered Coaching program

If you’d like some support finding a healthy balance between your child’s bedtime needs, and your own, then send me a DM. I have availability for 2 more families in May 💌

How to include a partner in your child’s bedtime routine?

💤 Tired of being the go-to parent at bedtime? I feel you!
Here are 5 simple steps that you can use to help get your partner more involved with bedtime, so that night time responsibility doesn’t automatically fall on you.

1️⃣ Start with low expectations, and go slow: If you're little one depends on you for everything, it's best to begin the transition during the daytime. Let your partner take the reins as the primary comforter for all upsets and owies and gradually ease into bedtime.

2️⃣ Set the Stage: Pick a day, and then set yourself up for success by making your child aware of what is to come. Make it sound exciting. Say something like, "Tonight, Dad is joining us for bedtime!"

3️⃣ Take a small step together: You can either perform the bedtime routine as a team or you can divide and conquer. If you plan to tag out early on, make a point to say goodnight to your child before they get all cozy and settled.

4️⃣ Trust in your partner: If you’ve been rocking bedtime solo since day one, it might be tough to watch from the sidelines, but remember, your partner needs a chance to find their groove too. Let go of control and allow change to happen.

5️⃣ Stick it out: Change can stir up big emotions. Be prepared for bedtime to take a bit longer initially. Taking over might seem tempting, but it undermines your partner's confidence and only reinforces that you're the only one who can handle bedtime.

🔁 So to recap, practice makes PROGRESS — for you, your partner, and your child. Have a think, plan it out, and go slow.

And, don’t be surprised or afraid if there are big feelings that pop up along the way. Your child is in good hands ;)

Share this post with your partner so you can conquer bedtime and make space for more kid-free time together

You've got this! 🙌✨

Want to achieve peaceful, kid-free evenings in the next 6 weeks?

Comment "BEDTIME" to learn more.

BTW - I'm happy to answer any questions in my DM's ❤️

~ Maisie xx

Hey 👋 I’m .ruttan and I help burnt out parents navigate challenging bedtimes with confidence using heart-centered, and holistic parenting strategies. Thanks for following along! 🥰

People always say they’ve tried everything to get their child to sleep

And maybe you have?

But lemme burst your bubble for a minute.

After 5 years of sleep coaching, I have yet to work with someone who has actually tried evvvverything.

Where most people go wrong is that they focus on a single, simple solution

Such as:
- Snazzy new sheets
- Audio stories
- Essential Oils
- Toddler Clocks
- Stickers

Or even the promise of chocolate covered pancakes or candy for breakfast! 😂

Whatever it is…

These things all *can* help in the short term…

But they are just one element. One piece of the sleep puzzle

Which means, it ends up being like throwing spaghetti at the wall, and hoping something will stick (hint: it probably won’t)

To make something stick you need all the pieces - the right pieces - in the right order.

You need to nailing your timing, optimize your bedtime routine. Assert some boundaries. Factor in your child's developmental readiness. And find the *right* strategy for your child’s temperament (and your parenting style).

And if you’re looking at those puzzle pieces, but don’t know which one to pick?

That’s exactly what we’ll do - together - in my signature program, Hello Bedtime. It’s everything you need to nurture independent sleep - and get those kid-free evenings back.

Interested? Comment BEDTIME to learn more

Maisie xx

I know I'm not alone here...

Do you ever get triggered at bedtime?

The other night bedtime was a DISASTER. It was one of those.. I'm the worst parent ever, I hate being a mom kind of nights.

(yes, even sleep consultants struggle with bedtime sometimes)

It's natural to think that once sleep is sorted, that bedtime will be a breeze

And to be fair, this is partly true. Life does get A LOT easier when you're finally able to ditch bedtime battles, and get your little one sleeping through the night!

But there are no easy buttons.

You still have to parent... and THIS is where bedtime gets tricky

That night I was feeling good. On top of things.

Me and the hubby were tag teaming dinner and dishes, and then I escaped to the bedroom while the twins were playing so that I could fold laundry and catch up on Netflix

Until all hell broke loose.

We're talking a full blown tantrum, which of course meant my freshly folded socks being chucked across the room.

Over what? I still don't know?

But all that commotion was just to much for me in my end-of-the-day exhaustion. I LOST IT

Which only wound them up more, and made trying to get them to bed IMPOSSIBLE. It took almost TWO hours when it normally takes less than 30 minutes.

In hindsight, I can see how it happened... their love tank was empty. I worked later than normal, and so hadn't really connected with them after school. And I was distracted

BUT - It takes two to tango, and in this case, bedtime was a disaster (mostly) because of me.

I couldn't find my calm amongst the chaos!

Sound familiar?

You have full permission to slide into my DM's.

ALSO: Don't forget to like this post ;)

Maisie xx

Something you need to hear?

Wouldn’t it be nice to actually enjoy bedtime? AND have time for yourself each night?

Most of the families I connect with are spending 90 to 120 minutes on bedtime every night! ⏳

If this is you, you are spending from 10 to 14 hours a WEEK on bedtime 😱

I mean.. no wonder bedtime feels like a chore!

But what you might not realize is…

Bedtime can be enjoyable.

And, when bedtime is optimized, you can get your child to bed in UNDER an hour - all the way from the start of the bedtime routine, to the point where they are fast asleep. 💤🚀

LESS if you’re able to walk out of that bedroom before they’ve fallen asleep!

Ready to gain an extra 5 to 7 hours of time every week!? 🤔💃

Send me a DM. I have immediate availability for 2 more families 💌

Maisie xx

PS - How long does bedtime take in your house?

👋 Hey, I’m .ruttan and I specialize in supporting frustrated and overwhelmed families to parent their toddlers, preschoolers, and kids to sleep with more love, peace, confidence and clarity, allowing for more time and energy to enjoy the warm fuzzies of being a parent

Here’s what nobody tells you about hiring a sleep coach.

You can't make changes without changing!

AND -> The bigger the goals... the more changes are needed.

And change can be messy.

The second you move away from your usual way of doing things, life can feel harder.. temporarily.

Even if what you’re doing is NOT working!

Which sounds impossible, right?

I mean, if you’re coming to me, to help solve a problem.. It’s likely because that situation has become unsustainable, right?

But - at the same time. The opposite is ALSO true.

The more you embrace change, and lean into the process, the sweeter the results!

Which is where sleep coaching comes in..

My job isn’t just to educate and share strategies.

I help to identify any underlying challenges that may be contributing to your child’s sleep struggles so that change is *easier* for you to achieve

I make the middle less messy, so that you can reach your goals with the least amount of stress and tears as possible.

Comment BEDTIME to learn more.

Do you have a sleep rebelling toddler or preschooler, who's fighting sleep with all they've got? This might be why....

1 - Bedtime is too early (for them, or the situation) ⏰😴
2 - Their nap was too late, or long 😴🌙
3 - Their love cup could use a little top up ❤️🤗
4 - They’re too wound up too sleep 😰🤯
5 - They hate bedtime 😟🛌

If you are encountering any (or all!) of these, just know that you are NOT alone.

This is something that so many of my families struggle with... The good news, is that it's entirely possible to take the fight out of bedtime, in just 6 simple steps

Comment BEDTIME below, if you'd like to learn more 😴

~ Maisie xx

Hey 👋 I’m .ruttan and I specialize in supporting frustrated and overwhelmed families to parent their kids to sleep with more love, peace, confidence and clarity, allowing for more time and energy to enjoy the warm fuzzies of being a parent 🖤

Ruttan

Can you relate to any of these? What a lonely place to be. It can feel hopeless or inescapable 😵‍💫

Most families struggle with sleep at some point, especially in the first year.

But, when the stress and frustration surrounding sleep becomes the norm, parenting can feel impossible.

Especially when…
🖤 Your child starts sleeping even worse than they did as a newborn - Yikes!?
🖤 You thought it was just a phase, but months later things don't seem to be getting any better
🖤 All your friends kids are sleeping fine, and despite trying everything, your child hasn't "grown out of it"

If you have a toddler, preschooler, or young child and this post resonates with you, please know that…

You are not alone. My entire community is filled with parents just like you

You have NOT caused this. There are no bad habits!

This IS hard, but it is not hopeless ❤️

Big hugs!
Maisie

Wanna ditch the overwhelm and fast forward to stress free evenings? Check out the link in my bio, or send me a DM to learn more about how I can help 😉
👋 Hey, I’m .ruttan and I specialize in supporting frustrated and overwhelmed families to parent their kids to sleep with more love, peace, confidence and clarity, allowing for more time and energy to enjoy the warm fuzzies of being a parent 🖤

Here’s the proof: You CAN improve your child's sleep - WITHOUT ignoring your family values

Thank you to Carolyn with the for choosing me to walk alongside you & for the AMAZING endorsement of my Hello Bedtime Program ❤️

I am THRILLED that you are *finally* able to enjoy some downtime in your evenings

This really is possible!!

Hello Bedtime is a high-touch, group coaching program designed specifically for parents with kids aged 2+ that will help you to take the stress out of sleep.

If you're thinking YES Please, then comment "BEDTIME" below and I can share all the ways this program can help you!

🖤 Maisie

I bet you haven't heard this one before..

I'm curious... Were you like me? Did you read like a billion pregnancy books and blogs whilst pregnant? When I found out I was having twins I collected every book on twins I could find

I think the fact that I was off work at 26 weeks was largely to blame. I had a lot of time on my hand!

I also spent hours driving all over the city looking for these fuzzy blue velvet hangers I neeeded to have for the nursery 🙄

Okay back to my point!

I was pregnant & freaking out. I remember reading all about the schedules, feeds & a bunch of other things that were quite irrelevant now that I look back. They didn’t really help with the day-to-day, or the what if's

They didn’t actually help me become a parent. And why is this?

Well because parenting comes with practice and experience, and learning to read your child - and you can’t learn this in a book!

Your child is the ABSOLUTE BEST instruction manual that you will ever *read*

Reading your child is something (just like reading a book) that we as parents have to learn to do. Or should I say re-learn? 🤔

I don't know if you've noticed (it's hard not to!) But we are SO distracted! 📵
We often miss what is right in front of our face

I promise you, if you let go of the schedules, and the shoulds and instead T-R-U-S-T for one minute that nature and evolution got this parenting thing in the bag... you won't regret it. 🙌

I challenge you to take some time. Watch your child. Learn their signals. What do they look and act like when they're overwhelmed? Tired? And most of all, what helps them to calm and feel sleepy?

Becuzzz.. Parents who are good at this intuitive skill (called attunement) tend to have better sleepers! (and a WHOLE bunch of other benefits)

❤️ Maisie

This is a hard one, because it’s not a simple or step-by-step process.

In SO many families, one parent becomes the go-to sleep person. It happens... because routines happen, and habits form.

But often kids can develop a strooong preference for one parent over the other.

Not because they don’t love their other parent, but because it’s new.

So what do you do when your toddler will only accept you? Where a tantrum will result if you even try to bring in your partner?

My advice… you make a plan and keep trying!

If you don’t have a plan, what can happen is one night when you’re feeling frustrated or touched out, you’ll hand the bedtime duties over to your partner in an act of self care (before you snap)

Which throws everyone for a loop, and likely won’t go well.

You won’t be able to handle the “Moooom, I want Mommy!” cries

And will come to the rescue (after having a quick breather)

Your child will probably fall asleep, but this can dig your hole deeper

What happens is, you end up undermining your partner’s abilities (and their confidence)

They need a chance to find their groove, and you need to learn to let go of any control you have over the situation and allow change to happen

It can also paint the message for your child that YOU really are the only one who can handle bedtime 😲 which can make next time harder!

It doesn’t mean you *can’t* take over and rescue, you know your child best!

But come up with a plan, take things slow, and add in a code word that your partner can use if they’re ready and wanting your help

Share this post with your partner so you can tackle bedtime together and enjoy a glorious kid-evening

Maisie

Hey 👋 I’m .ruttan and I help burnt out parents navigate challenging bedtimes with confidence using sleep science and peaceful parenting strategies.

Ready to take the stess out of sleep?
DM ME to learn more or 👉 click the link in my bio to apply

Maisie ❤️

Ever caught yourself wondering whether you're doing TOO MUCH at bedtime? Let's debunk the myths and unravel the truth...

It is perfectly normal and healthy to cuddle your child until they fall asleep!
It's not a bad habit, or a sign that you've done anything wrong...

It it's working for you then great! Keep doing it!

But this is important too. Wanting your child to fall asleep with less support from you doesn't mean you're a failure either.

When you have:
😫 A master negotiator pushing all your buttons
🐰 An energizer bunny testing your patience or
😅 A child who needs a lot of from you when you're feeling touched out... or
😵‍💫 A child that takes forrrrrrrever to fall asleep which leaves you feeling drained

Bedtime can be a triggering and unpleasant experience

If this is you, this is your sign that something needs to change.

Bedtime CAN be enjoyable.

~ Maisie Xx

Hey 👋 I’m .ruttan and I help burnt out parents navigate challenging bedtimes with confidence using heart-centered, and holistic parenting strategies. Thanks for following along! 🥰

Now accepting clients for September. DM for info.

From nightly meltdowns to LOVING bedtime in just a few short weeks ❤️

Imagine... being able to walk out of that bedroom in a GOOD mood, with enough energy left to finally read that book on your night table, or go visit a friend?

All of this is possible - and more!

Check out the link in my bio .ruttan to discover how you can work with me. Now booking for September!

🖤 Maisie

If you have a child who takes forever to fall asleep, you've probably heard that you should turn the screens off an hour or two before bed?

I really wish society would spend more time sharing WHY, and less time lecturing and judging parents.

We all know screens aren’t great for kids. But sharing the shoulds does nothing but leave you feeling guilty for not being a “better” parent.

Hope this helps you make an informed choice for your family ❤️

~ Hey! I’m .ruttan and I specialize toddler, preschooler and child sleep! Follow me for sleepy tips!

What if I told you bedtime isn’t as hard as you think.

I know bedtime can feeeeeel like it takes forever.

But when everything is optimized, you CAN get your child off to bed in under an hour, all the way from the start of the evening routine to the point where they are fast asleep.

How long does it take to put your child to bed?

Maisie ❤️

Here's the truth about sleep needs.

Your child probably doesn't need as much sleep as you think they do.

A lovely mama DM'd me today, concerned about her toddlers late bedtime, and asking how to encourage more sleep.

I get this question a lot!

This 20m/o toddler was sleeping 10pm-6:30am overnight, and napped for about 1.5 hours/day.

Is this late by many cultural standards? Yup! But... is this child getting enough sleep? That's the important piece to consider.

Usually when I dig into a family's sleep diary, I find that everything is normal, and that there is nothing to be concerned about.

It just feels like they are sleeping way less than they should because of society's unrealistic obsession with 12 hour nights and 7pm bedtimes

The National Sleep Foundation gives guidelines on recommended 24 hour sleep totals (so naps and nights combined).

But there is a much larger range of sleep norms that may be appropriate, that is often missing in posts, blogs & infographics (flip through to see the graphs).

I find it incredibly frustrating that this more realistic and full range of normal is not well advertised for families.

Having a low sleep need child may not be the "norm" but it doesn't automatically mean that something is wrong either.

What it comes down to more than anything else, is how your child is coping.

If they are generally happy, and growing, and learning then they are probably just fine.

Honestly it’s rare that I encounter a child who is truly sleep deprived!

Don't forget to save this post for later!

Hey! I'm .ruttan a toddler and big kid sleep specialist. Follow me for heart-centered & holistic tips for your kiddo.

You don’t have bad habits, you just have unrealistic expectations

I’m not sure who it was that first decided that having a five star sleeper was a requirement of “good” parenting. But I wish they had kept their mouth shut!

There’s this assumption and expectation that sleep gets better as children grow up.

I believed this. Even as a sleep coach.

My twins slept pretty good as babies (thank goodness!), and thought I was in the free and clear.

So when my twins started sleeping worse than they did as newborns, I started questioning what I was doing wrong…

No one really talks about how hard sleep is beyoooond the baby years.

I mean sure, everyone knows that kids don’t want to go bed, and so can drag their feet. That’s a given

But, no one tells you that your child will go wild after transitioning out of the crib, or that they will start clinging onto you at bedtime, or wake up and climb into your bed overnight.

If you’re open about your experience with others, the advice pours in. But it never sits well.

Most of what’s out there is terrible advice and only adds to you guilt and shame.

I blamed myself… for lack of consistency, and poor boundaries. For letting them stay up too late, watch too much TV and eat crap food for dinner.

I felt like a crap parent, and an even crappier sleep consultant.

But none of this was true.

What I had was unrealistic expectations of what was normal, and what little kids were actually capable of.

When I leaned into their developmental needs and focused on nurturing connection, fostering healthy sleep habits, and finding ways for them to practice independent… my life transformed.

Sleep is finally predictable. Bedtime is a breeze, and my evenings (and bed) are finally my own.

You can have this too.

Tomorrow is the last day to save $200 on my 1:1 coaching program
Comment BEDTIME below for more info

You need to read this!

Most people think a bedtime routine is all about getting ready for bed. So teeth, pjs and reading stories

But a good bedtime routine does MUCH more than this

An optimized bedtime routine:
🖤 Provides a calming and connecting end to the day which helps to set the stage for sleep
🖤 Signals to the body that sleep near releasing calming hormones - AND
🖤 Gives a strong signal to your child about what sleep will look like tomorrow, the next night... and overnight

Most people don't realize this, but your bedtime routine is a 'sleep association'

Meaning that it can signal sleep, and make sleep more likely

The problem is, that having a highly parent-involved routine, or a stressful bedtime battle can work against you.

And, once you get into a pattern like this, the bedtime routine can actually cue the things you DON'T want to happen

They become part of your bedtime routine, just like teeth and stories.

This is where the obsession with putting babies to bed 'drowsy but awake' came from. Out of a *fear* that if you helped them fall asleep at bedtime, then they would never learn sleep through the night..

There is *some* truth to this... But for most kids, this doesn't apply, which is why I'm not a fan of the whole 'drowsy but awake' idea

BUT I do LOVE a kick ass bedtime routine, where a child is supported to fall asleep ALONE!

Why? Because, it's WAY easier to practice new routines, boundaries and skills when they are mega tired from being up all day, and you’ve got a nice big dose of melatonin helping you out.

So if your child is waking up overnight, crawling into bed with you every night, or likes to wake you up before the crack of dawn...then THIS is where I would start (after we optimize your timing!)

If you'd like my help to reclaim your evenings, take back your bed, and restore your sanity, then comment "BEDTIME" below, and I'll share more details about Hello Bedtime, my online group program.

PS - my end of summer sale ends Thursday August 31st ✨🌙

❤️ Maisie