Tammy Holland, Seven Level Living

Would the other side of your resumé appreciate some exquisite self-care? Check out our virtual retreat happening this Sunday and save your spot. Registration closes Thursday February 18th, 2021.

https://www.sevenlevelliving.com/winter-wellness-retreat-February-2021

Today, in the place we now call Ontario and other parts of Canada, we've set aside this usual work day as family day. There are all kinds of laws, religions, organizations and beliefs that define for us what family is or isn't. Or who can be in a family.

There are things we say out loud or only in private about other people's families or our own.

The thought of family can make your heart warm or turn the blood that genetically joins you to ice.

Families can stay stagnant, bound in unspoken secrets, unwritten rules and a code of acceptable behaviors that are fused into the marrow of our bones. The brittle chains of tensions buried underground, only acknowledged and remedied on our deathbeds or when one finally snaps.

Or maybe, just maybe, we become brave enough for a moment to lay down the weapons, evidence, stories and proof that keep us tethered in our past and decide this story of survival ends here, with me.

"But why do I have to go first?" I'm often ask and lament myself.

Because somebody has to go first. Someone has to decide that it's time to understand how we dance in relationship; our patterns, go-to responses and habitual punches. The dances we've perfected in every relationship in our life. No relationship is exempt.

Once we see our dance moves, we can't unsee. We can "choose" a new family but our dances follow. We can change our postal code, but our same habitual responses lay in wait for a spark, ready to ignite seemingly out of nowhere.

We can compartmentalize our life to stay safe, in control; the effort to keep our worlds separate an unacknowledged energy drain.

For many, this last year of life in a global pandemic has brought our worlds crashing together. All mystery and illusions unceremoniously dissolved. Our very contribution and self-defined worth shaken to the core. Others have found retribution and solace in the newly minted acknowledgement of their contribution to our lives and acknowledgement of society's neglect and denial.

In all this there is family. The family we are born into and the family we choose. Ever evolving. Always changing. Growing older. Passing away. Reborn.

The constant is you. You are the link that has the ability to change the dance of all your families with your curiosity and willingness to question what's my part in all this and do I want to BE different.

And then we learn a new dance.

This is self-care for the other side of your resumé.