Village Therapy

Secondary infertility is a common concern I work with folks through. It is so painful and can be very isolating. Some women feel like they don't belong anywhere because they are parenting a child so they don't feel like they fit in the infertility world but they feel different from their mom friends who are actively growing their families. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​If you are struggling with and you are an or a I am here for you.

Reach out for support!

If you are not going through this, just a friendly reminder that asking women when they are going to have another baby can be extremely triggering. You have no idea if they might already be trying. Family planning is delicate, private and only your business if someone chooses to share that information with you.

Hope you are rolling into the weekend with style!​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Happy Friday!

(Yes this was listed for sale at our garage sale and yes he convinced me not to sell it by driving it around in his grandpa costume yelling "I'm picking the kids up from school")

If you are a new mom in the thick of it save these mantras for the days you need them. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​You are doing a good job! You are exactly who your baby needs.

xo
Chelsea

Let’s talk about imposter syndrome! ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​I spent a few solid hours this weekend weeding and planting my garden for the summer. This is the second year I have done this. The kids and I did it last year and had so much fun and we enjoyed the harvest throughout the summer, so we decided to do it again.

Now here’s the thing. I do not have a green thumb. I kill every plant I own, typically within a few months. I am not great at following care instructions and I tend to be more of a wing it kinda person.

On the way back from the garden centre I told my husband I feel like I’m cheating and that I am not a REAL gardener. I plant some seeds (this year beans, peas, carrots and radish) but the rest I buy at the garden centre where they have already started it. This is awesome on the day you plant it because my garden looks awesome right away!!

He had the most brilliant response, he asked me, "do you feel like you're cheating when you buy your food at the grocery store?"

So why am I sharing this otherwise useless information?
Because I AM a gardener.
I am a person who has a garden, who will eat from my garden this summer, who will be growing her own food. The fact that someone with a greenhouse gave me a kickstart is awesome, it's not cheating.

So often in life we cut ourselves short or don't give ourselves credit or don't feel like we did something well enough. We don't focus on what we did do, we focus on what we didn't do. In this case, start every vegetable from seed in my house that is not set up for this months ago (or whenever people do that).

Let's focus instead on watering (pun intended) the things are doing and watch how different that feels in our body.
I told my garden imposter to take a hike. I hope you tell yours to beat it today too.

Happy Monday!
xo
Chelsea

Inside scoop - literally EVERY first time mom is learning as she goes (and honestly every kid is different so I feel like this stays true even when you're a seasoned mama). ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​You are not behind, you are right on time.

These early days can feel anxiety provoking and you may feel out of your depth, that's normal.

If you are struggling with anxiety or intrusive thoughts or you are feeling overwhelmed about this transition, you don't need to suffer in silence. Reach out to a trusted loved one and share how you are feeling. You can also reach out for professional support. At Village Therapy we have walked alongside hundreds of women as they have made this transition. Therapy is a great tool to help you shift from survival mode to enjoying these days and weeks.

We got your back.

Chelsea

***Client love***​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​I work with the very best women!

If you are looking for a therapist who will meet you where you’re at, I am your girl. I am down to earth and wholehearted in my approach. This is one important way that some women choose to take care of themselves and if I can say, I don’t know any who regret it.

***Client love***​​​​​​​​
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I work with the very best women! ​​​​​​​​
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If you are looking for a therapist who will meet you where you’re at, I am your girl. I am down to earth and wholehearted in my approach. This is one important way that some women choose to take care of themselves and if I can say, I don’t know any who regret it. ​​​​​​​​
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We spend a lot of time thinking about our birth plans and a lot less time reflecting on what the transition from maiden to mother is truly all about - after the birth bit. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​This transition is one of the hugest transitions a woman will go through in her life. It brings up a lot of the past and it pushes her to carve out the future, hopefully in an intentional way. It is a time where we become acutely aware of the support we have, or the lake thereof. It is important and sacred.

If you are pregnant and about to become a mom, or you have recently delivered, it is the perfect time to consider therapy as one way to be intentional in your mothering experience. Clearing this time and space for you is of tremendous value if you want to fully be present in this chapter of your life.

Reach out if you want to set up a free consultation today. I serve women in Alberta and British Columbia and have been walking alongside pregnant and postpartum women for the last 12 years.

Chelsea

Long weekends, regardless if you are camping or setting plans with friends or family, can leave you feeling extra tired. They are amazing and the extra time feels so good, but it generally doesn't recharge the batteries like a quiet weekend at home can. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​BE GENTLE with yourself this week.
SET EXPECTATIONS low.
RECOVER by resting, hydrating, moving and eating well.

If you can honour what your body needs, you will be ready again in no time.

Perhaps you are going through infertility. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Maybe you've experience a recent pregnancy loss.

There's a chance pregnancy is not feeling how you expected it to or there have been unexpected complications.

Maybe this pregnancy was unplanned and you're grappling with coming to terms with having a baby.

Perhaps you're struggling with breastfeeding, trying to process your birth, having intrusive thoughts or questioning all of the things postpartum.

You're a medical mom and feeling overwhelmed and isolated in your experience. The mental load feels so heavy.

You're in the thick of your parenting journey, perhaps your kids are little or maybe they are school aged. No one prepared you for how hard it would all be. You're not feeling sure of yourself but desperate to do right by your littles.

Wherever you are in your journey, I am here to support you.

I have been working in reproductive, perinatal (pregnancy & postpartum) and parental/maternal mental health since 2013. I have supported women along the entire trajectory of this experience from preconception to parenting. I have supported some clients for a short amount of time while they work through a specific issue and I have worked with some women for years, always in their back pocket for when they need to unpack whatever is going on in their life. This work is my passion.

So, if you are struggling, please reach out. You do not have to go through it all alone.

If you aren't struggling, I bet there is someone in your life who is, so please do me a favour and share this post. You never know who in your life needs extra support right now.

Chelsea

This may come as a surprise to some, but you don't have to be in really dark days or in the middle of a crisis to access therapy. Some of the BEST work that I do with clients is in periods of calm. These stretches of life are when we can choose and be intentional about what we want to focus on, what's serving us well or what isn't. It's one of my favourite seasons to meet people in because the growth they experience is palpable. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

We have become so accustomed to running wild all the time, juggling one million things, never sitting down.....that the first moment that things may begin to ease up, we feel out of sorts and fill that space with the next thing. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​It has become really common and honestly for lots of people the norm.

Normal doesn't mean healthy. So be honest, are you guilty of this? Are you ready to shift things?

Therapy can help you restore balance in your daily life.

If you find yourself angry, bitter or resentful a lot of the time.........this one is for you. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Therapy can help give permission and also learn the skills to set boundaries that PROTECT your PEACE and mental wellbeing.

WARNING: the story that you tell yourself will DRAMATICALLY effect how you feel. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​What are the stories you are letting run wild in your mind?

Therapy can help you begin to question and shift the stories you tell yourself.

I love to hear these stories. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Share and tag them (if appropriate)

Sometimes its been a positive impact, sometimes it's been a negative situation that helps generate our healing and growth.

Lots of women tell me that their partner is resistant to going to couples counselling. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​First, that sucks, I'm sorry!!

But also, that doesn't mean things can't change.

Individual therapy can help YOU learn how to show up differently and that often makes a huge difference and changes the dynamic.

Reach out if this is something you've been wanting to work on for a while.

Can I get an AMEN?! ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

You can not grow being unkind to yourself. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Your best is enough.

This one is tried and true! ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Who else uses HALT to slow things down and check in with themself or their child to see what might be underlying the behaviour?

If you know this strategy then you probably already know H & T are frequently what's going on. If you don't know this one, let us know how it goes?

Try, when your child is having a meltdown, to first go through the HALT list. If you suspect one of them is true, meet that need first.

Do you wrestle with all the information out there these days? ​​​​​​​​​Do you sometimes feel like gentle parenting has morphed into permissive parenting?​​​​​​​​​Have you confused holding space for all of your kids feelings with accidentally trying to help them avoid hard feelings?

I hear this a lot in my work with mothers.

My personal parenting philosophy is this: Fall child. Feel all the feelings. Face all the struggles. I want them to feel it all. Not because it's enjoyable to watch them in pain, grief, guilt, shame or any other hard feeling. But because ALL of the feelings are part of the human experience and I want them to have as many of those experiences as possible while they have their father and I to support them through them.

I would love to hear your ideas below!

I would love to hear your experience with this? Do report cards cause stress for you? Are you preoccuppied with your child's academic success? Does this trigger old wounds for you?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Ooof this is a tough one! ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​I wanna hear below, can you let their relationship unfold or do you step in the middle and try to intervene?

No judgement here!!

Be gentle with yourself mama! You’re learning as you go. We all are. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

MOM REPORT CARD​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​We do this once every month or 6 weeks in my house. It is usually prompted randomly by me. Typically it is during a time when I am reflecting lots on how I am doing as a mom and what pieces I feel proud of, or things I am wanting to check in on. It could be something I might be feeling I'm not doing great at.

It goes something like this......

On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being "Mom's the worst ever, get me a new mommy" and 10 being "I have the worlds greatest mom and there are no complaints here" (adjust the scale as you see fit) how is mom doing at.......

- Snuggle time
- Being someone you could tell ANYTHING to
- Raising her voice
- Being fun and playful
- Making dinners or lunches that you love
- Showing you she loves you

The list goes on.

I just think of a few things I want to check in on ahead of time and then ask them one at a time. If I need to I remind them what 1 would be and what 10 would be for each question.

What I often find is that I am surprised. Sometimes things that I think are going relatively well I need to really work on. Often, things I am judging myself harshly for, they are more gracious with me.

Either way, it then opens a dialogue about how mom could improve. What are ways that mom could get that 6/10 up to an 8 or 9. They are never short on ideas.

Try it out with your kiddos and share with me how it goes.

I hope you found this helpful.

Chelsea

Do you realize you don't need to declare every boundary? You can have a boundary and only assert it if you need to. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Love to hear your thoughts below. What are some of the silent boundaries you have and hold?