Essentia: Living a Delicious Life

Welcome to my page. It was created to have one place for me to put all the things I think are useful & may make a difference in your life. Read at your own risk.

Beware: Some of the information is graphic. I hope you enjoy & come away enriched! Bodies, Communication, S*xuality, Emotions. All things that cause us pain and pleasure in life. Understanding your Body and what it can do for you and how you could relate to it can be life altering. Join the invigorating inquiry into acceptance and joy.

11/19/2021

One of my doula babies turns 9 today.
And with the holidays coming up this important reminder might save you a bit of grief.

Not quite crimbo yet I know, but hopefully this will help people with planning ahead.

Did you know that rates of mastitis go up around holiday periods?
Why? Well, loads of reasons to be honest.

Let's picture it shall we?

It's your first christmas with your baby. You're mega excited and so is everyone else to have this gorgeous bundle in their lives. Christmas is going to be AWESOME, especially after last year!
Lots of travelling around in the car visiting friends and family, making the most of maternity leave to see everyone and proudly show off this little person, taking up offers to go over and be cooked for! And that is genuinely fabulous.
But all that travelling leads to lots of time in the car seat, and for most babies the car seat sends them to sleep. And long sleeps mean long gaps between feeds, which leads to full breasts with potential for blockages...

Then the parties, the gatherings, celebrations! Lovely right?! Yes! Except everyone wants a hold of little baby Rupert and once again he has longer stretches between feeds. And when he does come back to you he's over stimulated and over tired and only takes two minutes on the breast before he falls asleep leaving you with, you guessed it, full breasts....

Or the guests seem to think they know better than you do about baby Josie's feeding cues and tell you she doesn't need feeding, they can settle her for you. They talk about how 'when they had babies you only fed every four hours and it didn't do them any harm'. You're then stuck between a rock and a hard place, because you would like to feed your baby, but you don't want to upset family or the way they did things, and maybe they're right?

Feeds are often cut short around celebrations, because you have lots of people offering to help and hold the baby so your dinner doesn't go cold, or guests arrive, or you're due somewhere, or you're upstairs feeding and want to get back down to the party...the list goes on. So your breasts don't get 'emptied' like usual and can you guess what happens next? Yep....

Maybe you don't feel comfortable feeding around Auntie Ethel and Uncle Bernard, so you don't quite expose your breast as much as you might normally, and your clothes/bra are digging in a little and restricting milk flow and cause a blockage...

Or perhaps you might get dressed up and decide to stick on a less comfy but pretty bra.

The work Christmas do might be back on! An evening away from the baby maybe just what you need, and you plan to express for comfort when you're there, but you're having so much fun and the drinks are flowing that you don't get round to it. Next day one of your b***s just won't calm down, and you start to feel ill.

Maybe you're sleeping somewhere different, the bed is different, you can't quite get the angle of the feed right on this squishy mattress and the latch goes a bit dodgy, but you put up with it because you don't want the baby to cry and wake everyone. Dodgy latch leads to breast not emptying efficiently...and you know the rest.

Lots of contact with people also means lots of coughs and colds, and we know mastitis rates are higher when you're run down.

Christmas is lovely, but for a huge amount of people it's also very stressful. Stress hormones can impact on oxytocin, which is the hormone needed to let your milk flow. So stress can temporarily inhibit milk flow leading to those full/blocked breasts again.

I might be coming across as really 'Bah, Humbug!' but I've been around enough people with mastitis to know its REALLY not what you want to be dealing with at any point. It is not to be messed with, it is a serious condition and you can potentially end up very poorly.
What I'm saying is, take it EASY. Plan ahead now to make sure this holiday season is one where you can feed whenever and wherever you need to. Be led by your baby. Don't stretch out or cut short feeds.
Listen to your body, not Auntie Denise.

Timeline photos 06/09/2021

Do what’s comfortable for you and your family. And consider all “advise” as just a suggestion that you can take or leave.
Baby cuddles that turn into a great relationship with your adult children can be lovely.

THIS ❤️

I've been rocking and cuddling my baby to sleep since that day he was born. I mentioned this to a nurse at my clinic recently. She said that she did the same thing with her son, and everyone warned her that she would still have a teenager sleeping in her bed.

And then she told me that, a few weeks ago, her teenage son came home from school very upset. He didn't want to talk, and just went to his room and listened to his music, typed on his phone and cried.

The mother gave her son space, and night time came and she went to bed. Just as she was about to turn off her side light, the door opened, and her 15 year old padded into the room.

He climbed into the bed with her, laid his head on her shoulder and cried. He told her all about the girl that broke his heart, all about the friends who laughed, all about the stresses of being him. She told him about her first broken heart, about friends who'd been cruel, and told him she understands. They talked in the dark for hours, until he feel asleep in her bed. Still sad but relieved after their talk.

'So you see' she said to me, when she finished the story. 'I was so scared that I wound wind up with a teenager who would 'need me' at night, that I never stopped to consider how beautiful that would really be.' .

Words by the beautiful ✨
Photo by the talented ✨

Reposted from

01/31/2021

This is an interesting point of view. If you are not religiously inclined you can liken it to life itself. Where do you settle for the crumbs when a full slice of bread 🍞 is right in front of you?
Are you waiting for someone to give you permission to take it?

04/18/2020

Love ❤️ this conversation!

03/27/2020

I am interested in gathering data from people. I am doing that by recording a one hour Zoom call where we discover what has us be the way we are in relation to S*xual Energy.

Send me a Direct Message if you are willing to do a recorded interview with me about my promise of expanding S*xual Energy Acknowledged Honoured and Celebrated on the planet such that people experience being Sovereign and Safe. The conversation in the S*x Positive community is very much centered on Trust and Consent and I am curious about how that shows up in your life.

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