Relationship Issues with Laurantine Nkwai
I am Laurantine Nkwai, a marriage counselor and relationship coach, a Senior Translator, Journalist,
Ladies, never brutalise another lady because of a man. If your man won't stop cheating and you do not want to live with a cheat, move on with your life.
Whenever you think you're ready for your wedding, ask yourself if you're ready for marriage.
If you're a wife and you still catch offense at little things then you've not grown.
Ladies: before you say yes to a man, make sure he can grow you and make you emerge.
Husband: if you allow your wife to be the best of herself, you get the best helper in your day of trouble.
To succeed in marriage, you must know additional Maths and Further Maths; every other subject is a minor.
Ladies be vigilant some men are after your head.
Ladies be careful, it's not every man you follow to a hotel, some are there to steal your star and render you useless in exchange for money.
Mothers: The statement 'I don't want you to bring me any kind of man' has made many of our daughters to remain unmarried.
Having too much money does not qualify you for marriage, check your level of maturity.
Single ladies: you're praying for a husband, if a husband comes now what do you have to offer?
Marriage is becomes interesting you stop focusing on the wrong things. Be joyful always.
16/11/2021
HOW TO MANAGE YOUR HOME (2)
by Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Previously, I showed you the duties of the husband in managing the home. Today, we will focus on what God has to say about the woman in relation to home management. As you plug into this truth, God’s purpose for your home will be accomplished in Jesus mighty name! The home is very precious in the sight of the Lord, and He has laid down principles in His Word for both the man and the woman to follow if they must find joy and fulfilment in their home.
FOR THE WOMAN
Make Your Home a Loveable Place
God created the home to be a unique place. The first home ever created was Eden, and it means ‘delight’, ‘pleasure’ or ‘enjoyment’. It is a place with no substitute, and the Bible describes this first home the first couple, Adam and Eve, had (the Garden of Eden) as having a river there, which symbolises refreshing. From this, we can deduce that the home is meant to be a place of refreshing. The Word of God says, And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places (Isaiah 32:18). God’s original intent is for the home to be a place of peace and quietness. Quietness, not in the sense of silence but of rest. You will agree with me that to a large extent, a woman determines the atmosphere of the home. Therefore, if the home is to experience that, then the woman has the responsibility to:
Be Hospitable
Hospitality means ‘cordial and generous reception of or disposition toward guests’. Hospitality must be the rule of the game in your family. Always be ready to be a blessing to others, extend your hand to the needy, have an open heart and warm welcome to friends, relatives, especially strangers. Who knows, you may be entertaining angels unaware. The Bible says, Be not forgetful to entertain stranger: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares (Hebrews 13:2).Ladies, mothers and women should take note of this: if you are irritable, untouchable or cannot accommodate people or be a blessing to others in your home, you are not hospitable. It can be seen in your actions, attitude and the way you address people. Your mere look at visitors can tell them if they are welcome or not. No matter how hospitable a man may be, if his wife is not, it will affect him negatively because the woman is the one people will always meet at home. Abraham’s family is a very good example of a home of hospitality, and that terminated twenty-six years of barrenness in their lives. (Genesis 18:1-10).
Feed the family with quality food
The woman is responsible for preparing quality food for her household, not just waking up in the morning and dashing off to the office, leaving everything for the house-help to do. That could be very risky. Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman as one who always ensures that members of her household are adequately taken care of. It says, Who can find a virtuous woman?… She will do him good and not evil… She riseth also while it yet night, and giveth meat to her household…(Proverbs 31:10, 12, 15). A popular adage that says, ‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’. Woman, your family is what they eat. If they are healthy, it can be practically traced to their eating habits.It is not enough to feed members of your family with food; you need to feed them right. Is the food they eat nutritious? Or do you give them just anything? As it is written, …wisdom is profitable to direct (Ecclesiastes 10:10). In this day and age of processed foods and snacks (fast food), please secure the health of your family by feeding them with good food. Remember, ‘garbage in, garbage out’. Eve fed her husband; unfortunately, she fed him with poison instead of life. What are you feeding your family with?
Be Financially Accountable
Financial rest does not only come when you are a millionaire; it comes by being a good money manager. As a woman of the house, you must have a financial plan; otherwise, you are creating room for financial pain. A wise man once said, ‘Pain is a sign of disorder’. Financial pain is a sign of disorder in your spending. Therefore, prioritise your spending and maximise your income. You do not need to put yourself into such pain getting into debt.
Compliment your Husband
One other way to manage your home is by an often-neglected key, and that is compliment. Every human being loves to be praised, either for what he has done or simply for who he is. The key is to locate the good qualities in your husband and members of your family and focus on them. Then express your appreciation for those good qualities by the words of your mouth. Show appreciation for both small and great acts of kindness by your words and surprising little gifts that act as hobs in the love wheel of your family.
However, you need the help of God to do this assignment effectively. Giving your life to God through the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way of getting the true help you desire to manage your home. So, if you are not yet born again, say this prayer with me: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God, and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
- Pastor Mrs Faith Oyedepo
Do not go for a beautiful face when looking for a wife because when the excitement is over, you'll be left only with character and commitment.
When your wife stops disturbing you, be careful she maybe disturbing someone else who may end up disturbing her.
There's another level of wisdom you need when you move from a husband to a father.
Couples: instead of complaining that you don't have peace, be a peacemaker.
When a marriage is working, know that one of the two partners is taking s**t.
Unfortunately we have a lot of babies in marriages today, boys and girls instead of men and women.
Couple: your capacity to endure is a product of your maturity.
Maturity is the amount of knowledge and understanding you have and apply.
Immaturity is a stronger enemy in your marriage than the devil.
Never make changing your spouse your priority, whatever you want in the other person activate it, behave it and the other person will align.
Sometimes the man you say is too short for you to marry is the husband God has prepared for you. Be wise..
Single ladies: there's a time to play men around and there's a time for men to play you around.
Single ladies: suitors are not employers.
Do not envy what you see people display in public, you don't know what they go through in private.
Ladies: beauty is not what counts today, work to make yourself approved, study and keep improving yourself. Character is key.
God is bigger than your circumstance.
Couples: when the devil sees that good things are about to come, he will use offence to stop everything. Be wise
Singles: if you can't obey God, stay away from marriage.
Marriage is smallest but most powerful institution in the world. Treat your marriage with honour.
Couples: when it comes to the point where you are fed up, forgive and start all over again.
Not every married woman is called a wife.
Couples: Your finest days are yet unknown, just stick in there.
Single ladies: You can't complete a man when you're incomplete.
Before you marry, pray for the spirit of love and Wisdom.
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR WOMAN'S EMOTIONS
1. Give her eye contact when she is talking to you, it makes her feel important
2. When she is venting, allow her to speak. It is healthy for her not to bottle things inside
3. Touch her. Rub her hand, hold her waist, kiss her. Physical touch is a window to her emotions
4. When she is crying, don't leave the room. Hug her, comfort her, whether she is crying because of you or of another issue
5. Ask her how she is, how she slept, how her day has been. Good morning, good night makes her feel cared for
6. When she is worked up over an issue that you don't find a big deal, don't tell her she is petty. This makes her feel understood
7. Get to know more about the family planning methods she uses. Some of them affect her hormones, her hormones affect her emotions
8. Learn how she behaves during her menstrual cycle. Some women get moody during that time of the month. Study your Queen
9. Love on her publicly and privately. Give her clarity that she is the only one, don't entertain other women. This will make her feel secure
10. Understand when she cries tears of joy. It means alot to her when you touch her heart to the point of tears
11. When she doubts her beauty, remind her of her beautiful and s*xy she is
12. When she complains about something don't take it as an offense, she is actually giving you a tip on how to love her better. Make use of the tip so that she won't have to complain again
13. When she is mad and unsettled, don't join her and become mad and unsettled too. Be that calm and assuring voice that makes her feel less defensive and less edgy
14. Appreciate her, tell her thank you and recognise all she does. Sometimes, this is all a woman needs to feel loved
15. Don't emotionally abuse her by speaking words that hurt. Such words can haunt her for years
16. If she doubts you two will last, give her the reassurance that even though you are going through a tough time, you are not letting her go. That alone wll encourage her to stand with you
17. Pray for her in her presence. Many women long that their man would cover them spiritually
18. Don't demand for s*x when she is hurting. Doing so will only make her feel used and a s*x toy
19. Apologise when you wrong her. Some women's hearts have been broken for years because all they have been waiting for is "I am sorry". Tone down your ego and you will love her emotionally
© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde
Bachelors: Money is not all you need to get married.
If you're a lady who wants to marry a rich man, while looking for the rich man also look for something to add to his riches.