Bella You

When my first baby boy was stillborn I had people in my life who did not want to acknowledge that I had a baby and others who told me not to talk about my baby in front of them or their children. (This was not everyone, I did have a handful of people who were very supportive).
Since this time in my life, I have often talked about Post Traumatic Growth. And a part of this for me is that I have (over time) learnt to set personal boundaries in my life.
Setting boundaries in personal relationships is crucial for maintaining healthy dynamics and ensuring your well-being. Here are some practical steps to help you establish and maintain boundaries:
1. Identify Your Needs and Limits
2. Communicate Clearly and Directly
3. Be Consistent
4. Use “I” Statements
5. Be Prepared for Reactions
6. Set Boundaries with Yourself
7. Practice Self-Awareness
8. Seek Support if Needed
9. Respect Others’ Boundaries
10. Be Patient and Consistent
Remember, setting boundaries is not about shutting people out but about creating a respectful and balanced space where everyone can thrive.
I know that I need to be around like-minded, supportive people. Otherwise my anxiety kicks in big time. Remember that you and your needs have to be your top priority.

I will miss you for the rest of my life.

Good Morning 💗

I have been so sick for the past 2 weeks. I've been frustrated because I couldn't work. I had to cancel appointments. I couldn't do everything I normally do for my 4 year old. I had to rely on my partner for a lot of things. And I couldn't visit my grandparents who are unwell & elderly.

Today I feel a bit better. Back to work and our normal routine. (I'm weak & exhausted, but I will take it easy).

Sometimes when we don't want to slow down or we are carrying too much stress, our bodies will MAKE us slow down. Sometimes we don't have a choice.

I hope you have a good Monday and a great week.

This is Parenting After Loss. And this is Parenting through Sickness.

7 Things I have Learned Since The Loss Of My Child:
1. Love never dies.
2. Bereaved parents share an unspeakable bond.
3. I will grieve for a lifetime.
4. It’s a club I can never leave, but it is filled with the most shining souls I have ever met.
5 The empty chair/room/space never becomes less empty.
6. No matter how long it’s been, holidays never become easier without my son.
7. Because I know deep sorrow, I also know unspeakable joy.

Good Morning. I hope you are having a lovely Friday.

I have been so sick for nearly 2 weeks now (and I am nowhere near back to 100%).

Apologies to anyone who is waiting on a response from me. I am attempting to answer emails and DMs today. (I haven’t even been able to look at my computer for the past 2 weeks).

I have been going through all of the emotions this week. Feeling guilty that I wasn't working. Feeling guilty that I couldn’t do much around the house and all of the things that I would normally do for my 4 year old. And even anger. Because I was so sick, and I didn’t want to be. I had too much too do. And then a little bit of realising that the world still carries on, even when I am stuck in bed sick.

Anyway, trying to do little bits and pieces today. I’ve done all of the washing, so that’s a start. Baby steps on the road to recovery.

Hope you have a great day xx

Every day, NICU parents show incredible strength in facing the challenges of having a newborn in intensive care. However, it's crucial to acknowledge that roughly 40-50% of NICU parents experience clinically significant levels of depression, anxiety, and trauma.
You are not alone in this journey, and support is available. Remember that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and there are resources and communities ready to support you.
For valuable resources and assistance, please visit: National Perinatal Association - Mental Health Support.
https://www.nationalperinatal.org/mental-health

A comprehensive study has shed light on the mental health challenges faced by both parents with a baby in the NICU. Symptoms of depression were identified in 17 percent of fathers, with this likelihood remaining unchanged even after the baby was discharged from the hospital.
Lead author Craig F. Garfield, MD, MAPP, emphasised the urgency for heightened attention to the mental well-being of new fathers, both during their baby's NICU stay and after discharge.

Together we can spread awareness and offer a compassionate hand to those that need it most.

September is NICU Awareness Month. I will be sharing NICU stories throughout the month.

I would also love it if you want to share in the comments your story or even the name of your NICU bub so we can all send you lots of love.

Let’s take some time to honour:

- The new NICU mama who is taking everything day by day
- The preemie NICU mama grieving the lost months and weeks of pregnancy
- The full term NICU mama grieving the lost first minutes and hours upon birth
- The pandemic NICU mama who journeyed through NICU alone
- The medically complex NICU mama who is learning new medical terminology and procedures
- The angel NICU mama who had to say goodbye far too soon
- The NICU Dad or non-birthing parent who was their every step of the way
- The staff of the NICU who relentlessly care & fight for the most vulnerable of babies

Join me this month as we spread awareness.

Some say you are too painful to remember. I say you are too precious to forget!

Why pregnancy after loss is a different kind of pregnancy:

You might not plan for much of anything. When you are pregnant after loss, you aren't sure that your baby is going to arrive. Not safely anyway. You aren't sure if there will be anything to plan for.

Your wings were ready, but my heart was not.

These days it feels like we all have a hundred things on the go all at once. This is my reminder to you to stop for a moment, make a cup of tea, and just breathe. The whole world won’t fall apart if you take a break! It’s called self-care, and it is so important.

'Bella You Coaching - Supporting you navigate Pregnancy & Motherhood After Loss in a nurturing and safe environment'

Today is National Rainbow Baby Day. Do you or someone you know have a Rainbow Baby? 🌈
A Rainbow Baby, a child born after a loss, can bring a lot of healing and joy to a family. But they are not replacement babies. While we love our Rainbow Babies and their little personalities, we will always wonder about their siblings. While we cherish every milestone of our Rainbow Babies, we also tick off when they should have happened for our child / children who are missing. 🌈
A Rainbow Baby fills a very important place in our lives and in our hearts, but they do not fill the hole left by their sibling/s.
Rainbow Babies are so very special in their own right. Here are some pics of my Rainbow Baby, Lachie 🌈

✨️ Here are a couple of tips for processing grief. But please, reach out if you are looking for support. Never feel like you need to go through this alone. ✨️