Melody Brown Coaching

Once upon a time, I had this friend.

We knew each other from college and used to catch up sometimes.

Every time I saw him, we’d fill each other in on what had been happening.

He had this safe, reassuring quality about him.

I thought he was the best man in the world.

I’d had something going on and I was quite distressed. When I told him about it, he sort of smiled and said “you’ll be alright. You’re always alright”.

The next time I saw him he asked what had happened. It had worked out okay and I’d basically forgotten about it.

He said “see, I told you. You’re always alright”.

His words stuck. When I was worried about something I used to remind myself what he said and say it to myself.

I didn’t always believe it. Sometimes I really didn’t know if I would be and it was only afterwards that I could look back and see he’d been right.

Later, when the anxiety happened, it became something I could repeat to myself like a mantra.

“I’ll be alright. I’m always alright”

If things feel hard, or you’re scared or not sure if you’re going to make it through, remember this.

We forget about difficulties we’ve overcome in the past as soon as we overcome them. We forget how capable we are.

We only need to handle this moment, right now. Just one moment at a time.

Our minds often bring up the worst case scenario as a way of trying to protect us. These are just thoughts, they’re not real.

Try to reassure yourself like you would a friend or someone you cared about.

You’re strong, you’re capable, you’ll be okay.

And one day you can look back and say “I was alright. I’m always alright”

💗

Don’t let fear stop you from going after your dreams.

I remember when I was thinking about going back to college.

I was afraid.

I didn’t know if it was the right thing. I didn’t know if I was ready. I didn’t feel like my anxiety was better and I didn’t know if I’d be able to do it.

So I waited.

I realised that I wasn’t really waiting for anything, I was delaying because I was afraid.

I was letting the fear stop me.

So, I took one tiny step. And then another. And then another.

I took it slowly and gently but before I knew it I had enrolled in my course and started a new life.

The more I progressed, the more confident I became, the more capable I felt, and the more certain I felt about my future.

Don't let fear hold you back.

If you need to move slowly, take your time.

If you need to pause, rest, and take extra care of yourself, do it.

If you need support, get it.

Take gentle steps forward. Be patient with yourself and listen to your heart.

But don't stop reaching for the life you dream of.

You are braver and stronger than your fear.

💗

It took me a while to realise that anxiety wasn’t going to hurt me.

It was frightening, every time.

But it was when I stopped being afraid of it that my biggest shift happened.

This is how I look at it now.

I once lived with two labradors. They were great dogs. Funny, loving, friendly and mostly well-behaved, except when there was somebody at the door.

When the doorbell rang, they would go crazy, barking and running around.

You couldn’t stop them from barking. Shouting at them didn’t help. Reacting to them didn’t help. You had to let them bark and they always calmed down eventually.

From outside it sounded threatening and possibly dangerous but they were just dogs alerting their people to a potential threat of intruders. They were actually trying to help and they weren’t dangerous at all, just loud. And the alert would have been the same for a real intruder as it would have been for a delivery.

Anxiety feels like it can be harmful. It can stop you in your tracks. Trying to force it to stop or fighting against it, like shouting at dogs to shut up, doesn’t usually help but you can calm it and if you can allow it to pass, it will pass on its own.

I know and remember that anxiety can be really hard and frightening, but it won’t hurt you.

If you can look at it as your body’s way of trying to help you and alert you, it’s less frightening.

And when you remove the fear of it, it makes it much easier to handle.

Send me a message if you’d like some help x

As a child, I was told I was sensitive on more than one occasion.

It was meant nicely but I didn’t like it. I didn’t really know what to make of it or what it meant. I didn’t want to be ‘sensitive’.

Some of the ways it has shown up in my life have been being a little bit shy and a little bit different, feeling other people’s moods, being affected by environment, noise and other people’s energy, understanding my cat really well, finding certain types of people difficult to be around, feeling like an energy sponge, getting distracted mid-conversation if I hear a song I like and feeling everything deeply.

When my anxiety hit, it became even stronger. So strong that loud noises would set off anxiety.

Something I discovered which might help others is that it can work both ways. The things that have a negative effect on you, can also have a positive effect.

🌳 If environment affects you in a negative way, changing the environment, even a little bit, can make a world of difference and affect you in a positive way.

🎵 If noise affects you in a negative way, you might find that music you love, that you choose and have control over, can transform your mood.

🕺 If certain types of people affect you in a bad way, then positive, kind people can also affect you in a good way.

If you can understand how it works, take care of yourself, and learn to process the emotions and thoughts, being sensitive is actually an advantage. You have more love, more enjoyment, more connection. It makes life richer. Basically, it’s a superpower.

If you want some ideas on how to turn your sensitivity into an advantage, drop me a message and we can chat

The first important lesson I learned was how to calm my anxiety symptoms.

The next thing I needed to learn was how to recognise other, more subtle anxiety symptoms.

I could catch it when it was very strong and calm it, but as it subsided a little bit and wasn’t happening all the time anymore I started to see other signs that weren’t quite as obvious.

I learned that before it got to full blown anxiety, I would start putting pressure on myself.

I didn’t recognise this as anxiety at first. I would think I had to work harder, faster, better, do more, fix the ‘problem’ right now. Urgently. And that I didn’t have time to stop.

Usually, the situation wasn’t urgent, I didn’t need to fix anything or do anything. There was no rush.

All I needed to do was calm the anxiety and when that was gone, I could see clearly again.

It was the sense of urgency that was the giveaway.

And that urgency was part of the anxiety.

What I found was that if I kept pushing myself, I’d make the anxiety stronger and stronger until I had no choice but to stop and calm it.

But if I caught it early, and could recognise what was happening, I could calm it before it became too strong.

It wasn’t always easy. I didn’t catch it every time.

But soon I started to recognise it after it had happened, then as it was happening.

And then before.

It took some practice, but I was stronger than the anxiety.

And so are you. ❤️

If you would like some help, drop me a “💪” in the comments or DMs and we can chat.

It wasn’t about the dress.

The anxiety was still coming up and I didn’t know why. Sometimes the reasons seemed so silly.

One day I was out and saw my reflection in a shop window and hated what I was wearing. I immediately became anxious. It was too late to go home and change so I had to breathe through it until it passed.

It didn’t seem to be a logical reason for anxiety and I could have easily dismissed it but I didn’t. I wanted to understand so when I got home later I decided to look at it.

My thoughts had been “I hate this dress, I shouldn’t have worn this dress, I look awful”. That’s what sparked the anxiety.

When I looked deeper I realised that it wasn’t actually about the dress, that was just a surface level thought.

It was a big topic, not just about how I looked but what I made that mean about myself. I’d had insecurities about my appearance since I was a teenager.

Once I was aware, I was able to address it and work on my thoughts around it so that they didn’t hurt me anymore. Most of them weren’t even true anyway.

It’s as if the anxiety was there just to get my attention, like a part of me was saying “Hey, this is affecting you. You need to look at this.”

And when I did pay attention I could see why it was hurting me and was able to re-examine my thoughts about this so that in future an outfit I didn’t like or a bad hair day didn’t affect my happiness or cause pain or anxiety.

I learned that sometimes the silly reasons hold the biggest clues.

If you would some help with finding and changing the thoughts that are stopping you from being happy, comment or DM “☀️” to book a complimentary discovery session with me 💗

The waiting was always the hardest part.

By the time I’d started college, the peak of my anxiety was behind me, although I still tended to get stressed too easily.

This became apparent at the start of my second year.

The first year we got our exam results almost immediately after the exams. In the second and third year, there was a 6 week wait.

I didn’t know how I was going to deal with this for the remaining six exams. After the first exam, I stressed and worried and obsessed constantly.

Until I realised, I’d already done my part.

I’d taken the exam, I’d done the work, I’d studied through lunch breaks and evenings and weekends. And no amount of worrying would have any affect on the result. All I was doing was hurting myself.

When I realised this, I was able to let go of trying to control something I had no control over and the stressing stopped.

I could put my attention on studying for the next exam, because that was still in my control.

Sometimes thoughts would still come up but I could ask myself,

Is there anything I can do?

Is it in my control?

And because the answer was no, it took the pressure off me and I could let it go. I’d done my part.

We can only control what’s controllable.

That little realisation saved me from 2 years of unnecessary stress and worry.

Sometimes the little things make a big difference.

Drop me a message if you’d like help with this 💗

I didn’t notice when the panic attacks stopped.

At first they were every day and then became less frequent.

And then they stopped.

I didn’t really notice.

I was trying so hard to fix the anxiety but I didn’t think I’d made any progress at all.

Then something happened that changed how I felt about it.

I’d started working for a language school and we took the students on a trip to London.

I had a really nice day. The sun was shining and I was happy.

And despite crowds and the busyness, I had no anxiety.

It was such a big difference to how I’d been a few months before.

I wasn’t my idea of better yet but I’d made so much progress and hadn’t even noticed.

It was after that day that I realised how far I’d come and things started to get easier.

I knew I was heading in the right direction and everything I had been doing actually had made a difference. It just took a while for me to see it.

I became more aware of the good days and the peaceful moments.

I noticed when I handled things I hadn’t been able to before.

I stopped dismissing the small steps because I realised they were important and added up to something big.

For me, it was a journey with lots of small steps along the way.

They were all important and all worth celebrating. 💗

There was a time when anxiety scared me and I would become anxious about feeling anxious.

So today I want to share something that helped me become less afraid of it.

If you can become familiar with what the anxiety is, you know what comes up and it doesn’t surprise you anymore.

And when we know something really well, it’s not as frightening.

This is how I became familiar with it.

✨ Notice any sensations that come up in your body when you feel anxious.

✨ Notice any emotions that you feel.

✨And notice the thoughts that come up.

It can help to write it down.

It doesn’t have to be exact and it doesn’t matter if you don’t remember everything.

If you do this what you may find is that if you feel anxious again, you notice that the same sensations, emotions and thoughts come up again and again.

When this has happened a few times you become familiar with it and know what to expect.

You know the sensations are part of it.
You know the emotions are part of it.
You know the thoughts are part of it.

You can recognise all of it as anxiety.

And then you can start to watch it.

I found that by getting curious about the symptoms and describing them to yourself, it separates you from the anxiety, you feel like you are watching it from afar instead of being in the middle of it.

And it doesn’t have the same effect.

You’re not fighting it, you’re watching it pass by.

And you know what to expect so it’s not so scary anymore.

I hope this helps someone 💕

Anything can happen. Anything can be 💕

Rest is important for our body, our mind and our emotional well-being. It renews and restores us and enables us to feel and perform at our best.

Without it we can find ourselves exhausted, overemotional, overwhelmed, stressed out and unable to switch off.

Rest is about more than just sleep (although that’s important too 😊). It’s about looking after your body, your mind, your heart and your soul.

It’s about being aware of how you’re feeling and allowing yourself time to rest, switch off and recharge.

The first step in getting the right rest is identifying what you need. You can do this by simply asking yourself and trusting the answers that come up.

(I’ve included 7 types of rest by Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith in the pics here as this is a great prompt.)

You may feel like you don’t have time to rest. You’re taking time now to fill yourself up so that you can perform at your peak. You’re actually saving time.

You’re not taking away from others, you’re giving to yourself first, so you have more to give to everyone else.

It can sometimes take time to see the benefits. If you’re used to only having four hours sleep, one extra hour may not feel like much but over time it will make a difference.

Rest, renew, recharge so you can feel your best and shine your brightest. ✨

Feel free to comment/ dm me if you would like help with this.

Have a restful week 💕

I’ve written a 10 page guide with some simple ways to calm anxiety.

If you would like a complimentary copy, let me know and I’ll send it to you. 💕

𝗠𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺

Introducing Lily, my CFO (Chief Feline Officer).

Lily supervises all activities here to ensure standards are kept high.

She sometimes “helps” with coaching sessions and typing and also maintains morale, cuteness and happiness levels.

In her spare time she enjoys climbing, bird watching and being purr-fect in every way.
💗🐾

Some people think that expecting the worst protects them. I can relate. It’s like, if you can predict every possibility of what could go wrong, you’re protected from pain or disappointment if it happens.

In March 2020, when the pandemic hit and we’d just gone into lockdown, a friend sent me a video.

In the video, someone was explaining that the pandemic had been predicted in ancient texts would be over by the end of April.

I was initially skeptical.

I decided to believe it anyway.

Not because I thought it was true, or factual, but because it was possible. Yes, it was imaginary but so was believing the worst. And believing in the best feels so much better.

The pandemic was not something I had any control over, but I could control how I thought about it.

April came and went. It wasn’t over. But I didn’t regret believing.

The thought I actively chose to believe, (“this is temporary, it will be okay”) got me through the first month of the pandemic. Any time I saw scary statistics or something on the news I could tell myself, “it will be alright”.

I didn’t tell anyone about the video and I was still careful and stayed safe but the alternative to belief was fear. So I chose hope.

By the time April was done, I was more able to stay present and take it a day at a time. I’m grateful for my friend sending me that video, even if things didn’t quite pan out like it said. Believing in the best saved me from a lot of wasted fear.

I learned a valuable lesson. Believing in the best possible outcome doesn’t hurt.

Hope doesn’t hurt. It helps.

💕

💗

I've recorded a free video training to talk about the basics of how the nervous system works.

Drop an emoji if you’d like to see it and I’ll send you the link 💗

If you’d like to make a change in 2024, I’m offering a special New Year coaching session to help clarify your goals and dreams for the year.

In a 1:1 online session:
✨we will get clear on your vision for 2024
✨we will put together a bespoke step by step plan for you
✨you’ll know how to start implementing it straight away or as soon as you’re ready

You will also get a follow up session in February to ensure you’re on track, all included for a special price of £40 for bookings made before 10th January.

Drop me a message or comment to book.

Happy New Year!

I hope 2024 is everything you hope for.

Wishing you peace, happiness and love.

May all your dreams come true ❤️

This week is about saying no effectively and nicely without feeling guilty.

£5 per person or free to members of my facebook group.

Let me know if you’re interested or if you’d like more information 💕

This week’s topic is Becoming Fearless.

£5 per person or free to members of my facebook group.

Let me know if you’re interested or if you’d like more information 💕

I’ve written a 14 page handbook for anyone who would like to bring a little bit more happiness into their winter and make it warmer and more joyful, despite the cold.

If you would like a free copy, let me know and I’ll send it to you. 💕

This week is about eliminating Christmas/ holiday stress.

£5 per person or free to members of my facebook group.

Let me know if you’re interested or if you’d like more information 💕