Croyde Bay Bar Walton

Nice relaxing day pottering in garden and watching the British open golf after working both days this weekend to help at the club championship. Looking forward to next weekend and a ly in. ⛳️☀️🎶🍷

Tomorrow in The Lime Tree 🎶🎛🎚🍻don't miss out on a rare home performance 🫣😂

Trev Evans has turned up at the bar 🤣🤪

Productive few hours cutting the lawn, strimming the edges and cutting the bushes🫣🤣flags still flying high even after today's defeat 🍻

Happy New Year from Croyde Bay Bar Walton let's hope for some great evening's with friends 2024🍻🎶❤️

Productive morning at The Croyde Bay Bar Walton leaves 🍃 raked up ,final cut on the lawns and Christmas flag up🎅🎄👌

All set up for tonights party 🥳

New light up sign in the bar 👌

Nice to be able to relax in the garden, few tunes and a nice beer ☀️🍺🎶

Bring on next year's parties at Croyde Bay Bar

Why i hate pubs at Christmas.

Long but so true . And so it begins. Take note.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Christmas pub wankers, please think hard.

It’s that festive time of year when decent, honest boozers are plagued by non-drinkers. And not real non-drinkers, not people who don’t ever drink, they’re fine. We’re talking about people who don’t go near a pub for 11 months out of the year, the kind of awful human beings who buy their beer from supermarkets with the weekly shop, people who consume such a laughable quantity of alcohol that they can only be designated as “non-drinkers”.

Whether it’s the Christmas Work’s Do or a Festive Drink With Friends, you are ruining pubs for the rest of us. Everyone hates you. Every actual drinker in the pub hates you and all the serving staff hate you. You’re awful. Here’s a guide on how to not be quite so awful

DO NOT APPROACH THE BAR UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

• The bar is an intricate machine full of separate-yet-interconnecting cogs. It is NOT the place to think or choose or decide. The engine only works if everyone knows their place and performs their function. Do you hear that collective groan as you ask the Bartender if they’ve got Cranberry Juice? Or as you turn around to ask Barbara what she wants to drink? That groan is you single-handedly sucking life away from your fellow drinkers. Make a decision first, then go to the bar and order what you’ve selected. Just like ANY OTHER FORM OF COMMERCE!

DON'T START DRINKING AT 4pm

• You’re NOT a drinker. We haven’t seen you all year. You’re an amateur, so don’t start out with a Marathon. You can’t just rock up to the Premier League one day saying “I’m Match Fit, lads!” This is why you’re puking and crying before nine o’clock at night.

YOU ARE IN A ROUND

• I don’t care who you’re with, how many of you there are or how well you know them. You are in a Round with all the people you came in with. That’s how it works. You see those twenty-five loud, burly, drunken Rugby Players on the other side of the pub? They are a pleasure to serve compared to you. They order eight pints of lager, eight pints of Guiness, six pints of bitter and three Jack Daniels, then they pay the bill in one fell swoop. Your group orders ten drinks one-at-a-time and then pays for them all one-at-a-time as the rest of pub creeps closer to Death’s eternal grasp waiting for you to finish, despite the fact nine of you are drinking the same fu***ng drink and the last person, THE LAST PERSON, wants a Guiness putting on. Every single person waiting to get served wants your group to die in a complicated house fire.

KNOW WHERE YOU ARE

• Look around you. What kind of drinking establishment are you in? Is it a pub or a bar? If there’s 85 lads watching football on the telly, stop trying to be a drunk, flirty attention-whore because it won’t work. If the walls are cluttered with offers of 6 Shots Of Neon Sourz For A Fiver, don’t try asking for that Single Malt whiskey you memorized from Mad Men. Equally, if it’s a pub adorned with wood furnishings and hand-pulls, stop trying to get the Landlord to make that sh*tty c**ktail you saw on S*x And The City

iPHONE ETTIQUETTE

• Okay, the music isn’t great. It’s nothing to write home about. But it’s been specifically selected to offend the least amount of people. It’s background music. If you want anything else, then you want to be at a club or a gig. If, however, you’ve decided to“do the pub a favour” by blaring out a playlist from your iPhone, then you are a t**t. A prize, prize t**t. Other expletives come to mind. Likewise don't get offended if the barman politely gives you a pound and rejects all six Abba songs you paid for.

ATTRACTING ATTENTION

• Newsflash: You are NOT next. You might have been in the bar queue longer than anybody else, but that doesn’t mean you’re next. Do you know why? Because there are no "Official Rules Of Queueing At The Bar." The Bartender is 100% in charge of who is next. So do not p**s them off. Yes, they can see you. You do not need to bang your change on the top of the bar. You do not need to wave your money around in the air, as if you’re the only person in the room with a tenner (unless it’s a Strip Club). You especially do not need to click your fingers like a Parisian Cafe prick or whistle like a Shepherd herding his flock. These tactics will only achieve one outcome: no matter how long you’ve been waiting up until this point, you’ve just moved yourself to the back of the queue.

PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT

• If an old bloke sat at the bar gets served before you do, and the Bartender knows him by name and even seems to know what he’s drinking before he orders it, just shut the f**k up. That’s Bob. Bob drinks here all the time. Bob drinks here five times a week, every week. Bob’s custom pays the bills. Bob and the other Regulars keep the pub open eleven months of the year whilst you’re having dinner parties and bulk-buying booze from the supermarket. Yes, they get preferential treatment. Accept it and shut the f**k up.

Frothy Friday

3rd place team meeting up in Frothblowers Micro Pub - Cambridgeshire CAMRA Pub of the Year 2019

Frothy Friday 🍻

Fantastic night. great to be able to catch up with Friends,For lovely food, plenty of beer and loads of laughs certainly felt good to be back in the bar 🍻❤️

Lazy Sunday afternoon 🍻☀️👌

Found the coolest place in the garden 🤣🍻☀️

Sids just chilling on the bar roof🐈🍻

Lazy Sunday afternoon at Croyde bay bar, 1st Bar b of the year🍻

True story 🍺❤

Productive weekend tidying up bar, some fresh paint inside, led lights repaired, optic bottles replaced and a good clean,bring on the parties 🍺🥃🍻🍹🍸🍷🍾🎶🎶🕺💃

Lazy Sunday afternoon, sat at bar listening to vinyl(TV Smith) sherrie knitting we know how to live 🤣🤣

Won't be long til the bars open🍻

Great night celebrating Charlie's birthday at Croyde bay bar lots of drinking, music,laughs and drunken behaviour just how we like it🍺🥃🍷🤣

Great to have trev pop round yesterday to the Bar for a few beers and listen to The Posh game ⚽️🍺