Woodland Healing Psychotherapist & Training Academy

Here at kingsholm ready to support against France.

I got a foam finger and I’ve already been warned 🤭 apparently if I poke him anymore I can’t have donuts 🍩

The world’s most stupid word.

A word that has caused more shadows and trauma than any other.

A world that increases our emotions and feelings.

A word that amplifies our negative thoughts.

Stop using this word- now & commit to what you want to do.

Happy birthday to the man that lets me get away with literally ANYTHING 🤷🏻‍♀️😆 him indoors, Mr Woodland healing, my therapist and bank, my chauffeur, handy man & personal chef 😬

I’m blessed to share another chapter with you, time to celebrate with all the kids 🥰

I am so excited to bring my 14years of beauty knowledge with coaching and mindfulness within the beauty industry.

My breakdown came from trying to run my own beauty business which I HATED! I absolutely loved learning, I loved teaching but actually doing it? Nah, effort!

They always say ‘those that can’t, teach!’ And I think that’s true. But the mental health of any kind of therapist is important, we need a space to vent, to moan & bitch and have someone say ‘I get this, it’s normal. This is what helped me…’

I’m also excited because I’m offering beginner courses too, the kind of ‘DIY at home’ or an ‘introduction to beauty therapy’ where you learn the basic facts about EVERYTHING!

Teaching has ALWAYS been my passion, it’s the only time I feel like me, so I’m doing what I love ❤️

Happy Birthday to my amazing Niece Nicole ❤️

We have a strange relationship, my late brother was her pops, today is also the anniversary of his death, he died on her 18th birthday & it’s been difficult to celebrate.

She’s finally getting married to ‘big Jake’ & she’s been feeling the stress lately, I reminded her my brother is always with her even when she feels as though everyone is against her.

I said to her that the reason he passed on her 18th birthday was to show everyone just how amazing & strong she is. I may also tell her he passed that day because she was his favourite 🤭

We joke that she may not be blood but she’s more Spencer than most 🤣 she knows that if you need to speak to me you either face time me or turn up at my door, don’t make plans.

Even though she knows our GSD molly moults like crazy, she will always wear black 😆

You came into my life at a time of pain and sadness, getting my brother back in my life since our dad passed & then losing him just months after was hard, but he left us each other.

He knew, he just knew that you needed a Spencer in your corner & im always here, ready to go ‘auntie Jo’ whenever you need me. Not just me but your uncle Bob adores you & as for you & your cousins, well, I know to not get involved, them having you in their life growing up is a gift for me.

Happy Birthday Cole, we love you more than you know ❤️

SAD- is it just for the winter?

The heat, the excessive light, the dehydration, the loooong days, it’s similar.

Now I know there aren’t any solid researches done in this but it does make you think.

Today was the 1st day in 2 weeks I did my makeup, I don’t feel like me if I don’t have my war paint on, so the last 2 weeks I’ve felt lost, I’ve spoken on my stories about feeling a little distant & it got me thinking- can summer be linked to SAD?

What do you think?

Focusing on shadow work, join me on TikTok to learn more ❤️

TikTok · Woodland Healing Check out Woodland Healing’s video.

I professionally stood up for myself against a Drs receptionist & I wasn’t fobbed off!

I’m gonna have some cake, we haven’t got any so I’m gonna bake a cake 🤣

What about you?

Someone asked me the other day what therapies I offer and I realised that there are so many individual methods but they I’ll fall under psychotherapy.

What is psychotherapy? Psychotherapy is an approach for treating mental health issues by talking with a psychologist, psychiatrist or another mental health provider. It also is known as talk therapy, counseling, psychosocial therapy or, simply, therapy.

But I’m lucky that I can also use

PTSD rewind
Hypnosis
Inner child
Mindfulness
Self hypnosis and meditation
CBT
DBT
Dream analysis
Shadow work
Neuro linguistic programming
1-2-1 client lead sessions
Life & mental health coaching
Life time membership with continual support
And a welcome pack.

The difficult part is trying to figure out what would help you most, because when it comes to therapy nobody is the same, we all manage differently.

So I’m introducing 10 for 10- 10 1 hour therapy sessions. Each week you get to try a different therapy and see what works for you, for £10 each, so for £100 you can get over £500 worth of therapy to see what works for you!

You also get a welcome box,

Journal- this is for you to write all those intrusive thoughts, trauma flashbacks and anything else that’s come to you, it’s a place for the good and the bad!

A pen and pencil- some values you will hold forever, your write in pen, for values you were told to follow in pencil, this allows you to make your own decisions & change your narrative.

Sweets- I mean who doesn’t like sweets?

And stickers- just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I’m not allowed some reward for not spiralling or having a trauma breakthrough, you reward you!

Email- [email protected] quoting 10/10

Manipulation is the worst, and the guilt that we put upon ourselves is the heaviest!

Manipulation is C-PTSD, plain and simple. When people ask you ‘why’ we get hit with guilt.

Yeah, what did I let that happen? Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I act sooner?

Because manipulation doesn’t happen over night, it’s mental conditioning, it’s slowly teaching you to accept the small changes over time until a small change has become a huge hole!

Who can manipulate us- ANYONE! Mainly narcissists but parents, children, siblings, partners, strangers, friends, the post man, literally anyone, even animals.

And how does this happen? Well there are multiple ways this can happen but a majority of it stems from people pleasing.

Our need to keep EVERYONE happy because, we don’t want someone to hate us because we are not everything they need! That s**t is exhausting, not gonna lie, it’s impossible, like actually impossible.

Give yourself some forgiveness, the innocent version of you really didn’t know better, this version of you does. And the emotions connected to them feel wrong but that’s ok because emotions can range.

But start learning to say no!

My FREE workbook

https://woodlandhealing.co.uk/b/GT36p

I cannot wait for Sunday, I’m going to be in my absolute element doing the workshop.

I love the work of Carl Jung, his take on the brain, emotions, understanding is much more my kind of psychology than Freud, both equally amazing in their own field, but the level that Jung takes it too helps us human better.

Me and learning about dreams and shadows, if I’m not back in 48hrs send help, or cake, yeah send cake 🤣

‘Oh jo, you’re so strong’ uh no, actually I’m super weak, well I was weak, I was so easily manipulated by sooooo many people all because I wanted to keep the peace!

I had the image constantly shoved in my mind, the people pleaser.

keep everyone happy and you won’t be hated, only loved, desired, wanted, needed, made to feel valuable & special. No kidding, that’s both exhausting & pointless!

The truth has 3 sides, in one story you will be the hero as well as the villain. The people you walk away from to protect yourself will blame you for everything.

Normal reaction is to run back, beg for forgiveness and carry on, that’s the manipulation, that’s the ‘people pleaser’ part, it’s all rubbish, seriously!

Since I’ve stopped trying to please everyone my life has become calm, my whole family has become calm, we don’t run around rushing trying to do a million things because ‘it’s the right thing to do’

So before you answer ask yourself first- do you want to do what’s being asked of you to please someone else? If you are just saying yes because ‘it would be wrong to say no’ then say NO!

That no is a no at you!

No I will not drain my energy for others whilst I need it!

No I will not spend my time running around for others when I need that time myself!

No I won’t be someone’s personal assistant because they ‘need a hand’!

You need to start being strong for you! Time to start setting boundaries

https://woodlandhealing.co.uk/b/Dboid

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGesUU8Y6/

TikTok · Woodland Healing Check out Woodland Healing’s video.

Faceless therapy.

Sounds weird but hear me out.

Some people don’t want to be seen. Some people may want my services but are afraid to approach me, they fear that for whatever happened in the past is held against them- it’s not, I’m not that person anymore!

You don’t see the look of pity on someone’s face, you don’t have to fight back ugly tears because someone will see, if you want to be anonymous and have your secrets stay your secrets, but have a safe place to vent, have someone you can turn to for advice that’s what Woodland can offer.

If you’d like to find out more then please message me either on the page or at [email protected]

Who are you as a couple? Who are you separately?

As an individual I’m reasonably organised, I can focus on work, study & life with normality for me. Him indoors is the same, extremely focused at work & becomes almost ‘OCD’

As individuals we are productive, as a couple, oh my days are we useless 🤣 when we have a situation that needs our attention we work together well but in general, we have no purpose 🤣

You can plan for everything, you can predict the outcome & then everything turns to s**t & you have zero control over that.

We had Saturday planned step by step, the weather was bad & everything had to be changed, we ended up forgetting to cut our cake and give slices, we forgot so many little things that I was concern myself over, I was waking up at 4.30am.

Our handfasting for what we had planned and what happened could be described as a disaster, however, nothing in our relationship has ever been calm, nobody lives a calm life, but it’s the people we surround ourselves with that help us survive and find the joy in the mess

We ended up having cake for lunch yesterday on our way to Costco, not the romantic image I had planned, not the perfect photo, instead a selfie, the day after, in the car. I captured that memory & it shows us in our truth ❤️

If you’re lucky, you get to meet and marry your twin flame in love. I’ve been blessed twice as bird is without a doubt my other half as him indoors is.

We don’t live in each others pockets, we can go months without seeing and days without speaking, our love and support never waivers.

Not only did we ask her to hold our ceremony she went above and beyond with writing our vows, making my bouquet & creating the most beautiful pagan alter.

I’m so over looking at what has happened, all my trauma and sadness, I’m no longer sitting with it, because yes, over my life I have lost people that meant the world to me, but it’s as if they sent someone to fill in.

True love happens everywhere, you just have to open your eyes and hearts to see the different levels ❤️

It’s been crazy here at woodlands. So much uni work & treatment plan prep for my 100 clinical hours, handfasting prep and just being wife/mum/friend.

This weekend Is now an even bigger celebration as my treatment plan has been approved & my case studies will all be contacted next week with all the details & I cannot wait.

The theory behind it? it should be able to provide a chunk of my PhD thesis by using the workings of multiple therapies. If I can prove that multiple therapies- CBT, DBT, ptsd rewind, hypnosis & everything else then we may start finding a way to provide better mental health care & education.

No work or uni now until Tuesday, I hope you all have a fab weekend & seeing as I don’t drink please have a drink for me 🍻

J

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary & I could write a smushy post but I thought explaining the mental health side of it would be better!

For people like me with BPD love isn’t an emotion, it’s a physical feeling, when we are full of love we vibrate at such a high level that everyone benefits.

But when that love goes, breaks us, lets us down it the equivalent of being skinned, we literally feel ever cell being torn apart & then we see ourselves as the cause, then we spiral, we split, we rage, we make sure to destroy every last connection to them because if we cant get what we put in we don’t want anything at all.

I have no idea, seriously no friggin clue how this man has managed to live with me, be married to me and constantly pull me out of spiralling without giving up on me.

I used to be really frightened by my feelings, I didn’t think they were real, almost bordering on obsessive, people would say ‘unhealthy’ nah, for me, for my mental health, absolutely normal.

A visual representation of being married for 20yrs

I saw this plant fact & got all excited because I have apple trees in my garden and now I know what I’m doing with the seeds 🤣

But then I read it again and if this isn’t the most amazing and beautiful comparison EVER!

We are not our parents, we are our own version of ourselves, just like an apple, we are unique!

We cannot be made into a version they want us to be!

Dudes, today I’m telling you to find your inner Apple and grow.

Can you tell I’ve been awake since 4am 🤣

I need your help!

I have 60 clinical hours to provide, the findings from this assignment will also be used towards my PhD thesis,

I’m offering 10 sessions per person to complete my hours and my first 4 slots are gone.

This will be free of charge, if you or anyone you know would like 10 weeks of therapy that will change your life send me a DM or email me at

[email protected]

J

If it was so bad why did you stay?

I hate when people say that, like cheers inspector morse, let’s solve another problem!

There are many, many, many, many, many reasons why people stay.

Essentially the story is played out by the narcissist.

It starts off small, but because we don’t correct it or stand up for ourselves, so they push it a little further, each time promising to change, then it gets bad & you try to leave and suddenly the person you love is back in front of you, not the monster.

So you stay, because they want to change, they know they’ve been stupid, they promise you the world, and purely because your trauma recall has taken you back to the original amazing human so you forget!

Yes, you can have recalls back to memories and emotions, it’s not always bad but it’s usually a recall to remind us of only the good, which leads to bad.

How many times have you found yourself thinking of how things were in the past? Wishing it was now, that’s brain manipulation to make us not have to deal with the now! So you trick yourself and you stay!

This person could be a parent, partner, child, sibling, friend, boss, it can be anyone and if we continue to ignore the present then it’s never going to improve. Fear of having no one, no escape, nobody believes you, nobody sees what you see, so many things stop us from leaving but the worst one is when we have responsibilities and we are trapped.

The more distance you have from a narcissist the better your life will be, put your mental health as a priority. See the game they’re playing and play it with them until you can break free.

Most importantly, ask yourself what your ‘hard no’ is, the line you wouldn’t cross, the one rule that if they break you are done & STICK TO IT!

Trust me, it works, there are strangers out there that will be more help to you than someone you’ve known your whole life, they will listen, they will believe and they will help ❤️

i wrote a blog,

A Woodland Wedding we are having a Woodland Wedding, well actually it’s a Woodland Hand-fasting.31 days from today we will be renewing our vows in a ceremony held by Bird.she was always my choice for maid of honour, but having a ‘shotgun wedding’ didn’t allow me the jo...

I’ve mentioned ‘conditioning’ in previous posts and I think that’s the perfect description for someone who was manipulated by a narcissist.

Conditioning can be good, it can benefit our lives if it’s used in a positive way, when I say that I mean more personal conditioning- you following your gut feeling and not others!

Hypnosis is a form of conditioning, it’s retraining the brain to find answers and move forward, removing the negative thought pattern and replacing it with positive.

Conditioning is a form of manipulation, it’s gaslighting, it’s coercive behaviour.

If you’ve ever been told by someone

‘I make the rules’ coercive conditioning

‘I don’t care, I don’t like it and won’t do it’ with regards to bettering your current life- controlled conditioning

‘I know what’s best for you’ - narcissistic conditioning

‘I won’t have you bring shame/ I’m disappointed in you’ - gaslighting conditioning

So what helps with over coming these thoughts? Shadow work/ personality archetypes, hypnosis and inner healing work, it’s about learning who you are and how you work.

There’s a saying ‘blood is thicker than water’ did you know the whole saying is

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb?- essentially those we choose as our family.

I got a visit last week from my beautiful niece Nicole, she’s a Spencer through and through yet she’s not ❤️

She was my late brothers step granddaughter (technically) & I didn’t actually get to meet this incredible human until he died, since then she has been a permanent fixture in our lives and I couldn’t be without her.

She loved her pops as fiercely as I loved my brother & our bond grew from there.

I never really got to be an aunt, the youngest of my nieces and nephews is 5 years older than I am, and being kept away from my family after my dad died I grew up with none of them.

This human though is the best, she looks to me, she asks my advice, she tells me family gossip & she tells me secrets, I’m so blessed to be her aunt.

So no, blood isn’t thicker than water, don’t let people emotionally blackmail you because of that.

Blood is genetic- family is heart ❤️

Also not forgetting Big Jake, I love you too 🤭

PTSD is obvious, people know how that can happen and how it affects us, to some degree.

What people don’t understand is C-PTSD.

If you’ve ever lived with a narcissist or had someone manipulate you to follow their rules instead of your own then that’s CPTSD.

Complex PTSD is the conditioning, it’s not an instant trauma, but it’s a continual cycle that somehow becomes ‘normal’

How do we help people with CPTSD? We give them time to make their own choice, we offer guidance but mostly support that whatever happens it’s one step into your light.

CPTSD are shadows we hide behind because we don’t want to get it wrong and bring shame, we can’t step out of line because what will follow isn’t worth the pain.

We can’t let people down because they already see us as a disappointment.

Manipulation, gaslighting, coercive behaviour, bullying, conditioning & ‘teaching’ whatever name you wish to give it, there is help ❤️

The Ego, so many people assume it’s about being big headed and bold, it’s not that, it’s not wrong but it’s so much more than that.

I was talking to him indooors as usual, being sober from alcohol & opiates means I have to face my traumas when I have the intrusive thoughts!

My Ego is bruised because I’m so ashamed at how weak and easily manipulated I was growing up, me, the biggest bitch who has done some real evil and spiteful s**t is ashamed of my weakness!

I wasn’t raised weak, I was raised strong and independent, what a load of rubbish! I was controlled & manipulated, I was broken down, I was a burden, an unwanted liability, but that was dressed up as strength, pride, structure, narcissistic parents are the best 🤣🤣

The Ego is our decision making centre of our personality, it can’t work without the super Ego & the Id, if you were raised by someone always pushing you to be perfect, the best, to never lose, that’s where the ‘big ego’ comment comes from.

It’s all conditioning, it’s all been taught to us and what’s amazing is we can learn different ways.

This doesn’t happen over night, it’s C-ptsd and it’s a recognised trauma, go easy on yourself, being human isn’t easy & if you didn’t have great teachers around you then you don’t have much to start with, but you can start, you can move forward and you can become more balanced.

A day in the garden with research for my new course.

I’m kind of excited by this 1 as it’s taking the sexual confidence course and adding a little extra.

It’s understanding why we like what we like and knowing there is nothing wrong with us! (Except the exception to the rules)

It’s helping couples after the menopause & adult children, when life goes crazy and we feel lost.

It’s for people starting over again, finding their strength & finding what makes them happy.

It’s allowing people to learn their worth and ensure they get it.

It’s about finding confidence in yourself ❤️

Happy Saturday, how’s the weekend looking?

I’m hoping to spend it in the garden as my mind still has a little fuzziness in it, it’s too noisy in there, I’m being pulled in so many different directions I’ve lost my way again.

I have some amazing new projects coming up in May that I’ve been working on so hard, I wanted it to be a ‘1 size fits all’ kind of program.

My favourite 1 is mum coaching, for those of us that didn’t get parents that supported our emotional growth, I work with you for 12 weeks to improve your life, I love mum advice so this just makes sense.

It also makes sense because this is essentially how I am with my kids and they’re amazing humans, when people say ‘nothing good can come from anything bad’ know that’s a lie, my mistakes are their lessons.

I also have my next book coming out and I’m crazy excited for that.

Have an amazing weekend

J