Mr Plow

It's the scruffy, tatty dog-chewed end of a difficult year. And Mr Plow is recording some new music.

Track Seven. Moses Built A Toll Road.

Imagine if you will Link Wray, "The Rumble King", stuck in heavy traffic on the M6 Northbound between Junction 3 and the M42 Interchange. He's a chilled guy, so he's listening to an audio book of The Old Testament, read by Christopher Walken, to lessen the mundane drive between gigs.

Moses Built A Toll Road, by Mr Plow from the album Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four)

Stream Mr Plow on your Apple device. After all, the planet's pretty much f***ed anyway.

Legendary Super Hits!, Vol. 4 by Mr. Plow Album · 2022 · 11 Songs

Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four) should be available on all good streaming platforms in the next few days.

Hurrah for easy access and almost zero artist income.

Track Six. In which yours truly channels The Velvet Underground, sings doo w*p harmonies with self, and recollects a serial killer. The police botched their investigation, they saw the murdered women as cheap and expendable. The killer dumped some of the bodies in the big park where little kid yours truly used to play football, walk the dog, go to the ice cream van, feed the ducks and generally do kid stuff.

R.I.P. to those thirteen women.

The Passion Of The Pennine Saints, by Mr Plow from the album Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four)

Track Five. Perhaps find a healthier outlet for your frustrations. No evidence exists to support any assertion that Red Foley had anger issues. Significant evidence herewith suggests that Mr Plow 'borrows heavily' from ole Red's songs.

Red Foley's Unresolved Anger Issues, by Mr Plow from the album Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four)

Track Four. I can't really explain this one. It has an eighties style synth drone. It's a bit of a curveball. If you've ever felt like a complete f**k up of a human being, like the world would be a better place without you, you're in good company. Or bad company. But others have been there and found a way back. There is a way back.

You Are Not Me, by Mr Plow from the album Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four)

Angry? Red faced? Feel that you've been cancelled by the left wing media? Aww..

Sympathy For The Middle Aged White Male, by Mr Plow from the album Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four)

Track Two. Apologies to Willie Nelson. Hey, where's Mom? Oh, killed by an I.S. sniper.

Mommy's Dirty War, by Mr Plow from the album Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four)

This is the fourth Mr Plow album/long player/whatever it's called. It was recorded in 2019 but never released. But it's here now, stream or download. Free or pay whatever you want. Eleven tracks. Enjoy.

Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four), by Mr Plow 11 track album

Legendary Super Hits! (Volume Four), by Mr Plow 11 track album

Soon

Running. How Not To Do It.

Confession time. I am a MAMIL (a middle-aged man in Lycra). And I’m not sorry about it. Not one little bit.

Almost three years ago I hit my half-century. I know a lot of us have encountered or are soon to encounter this milestone. And I was, physically, in terrible shape. Heart rate, blood pressure, BMI, weight - all close to the red zones where sirens and alarm bells commence to ring. I’d been a fit and healthy, sporty young man. Tall and strong. But a comfortable, sedentary lifestyle had ‘eaten’ its way into my very being.

So, I needed to do something about it. I had to. I’m not a complete idiot. Advancing years and poor physical health are not a good combination. I thought I’d run a little and see what it might do for me. When I say a little, about a minute's worth of running was my limit. The first time I ventured out with the ‘C25K’ app on my phone & in my ears, I spent the rest of the day in bed and thought I might have permanently injured myself. I was in far worse shape than I ever thought a living creature could be.

But something strange happened. As genuinely awful and terrible at running as I was, I wanted to keep trying. And keep trying. The first few weeks, even months, were just filthy awful. A minute's running, then maybe five minutes walking. My distances improved, but painstakingly slowly. Then, about two months into my run of runs, I started out on one of my mammoth-slow lumbers - and found that two, three, five minutes later I was still running and hadn’t collapsed by the roadside. I could run - a little - maybe half a mile. It was a ‘eureka’ moment. It felt good. It felt good to be able to run. That slow release of endorphins felt good. It felt better than the quick buzz of sugary food (that bit proved to be really important).

So, steadily, over weeks, that half mile stretched out to nearly a mile, then a whole mile, then almost two miles. Over approximately six months I’d journeyed from 100 metres almost killing me to 5 kilometres not quite almost killing me. Still glacially slow, admittedly. But I felt fitter, my trousers were a slightly looser fit, I’d lost around ten pounds in weight. All of this before and during 2020’s ‘unpleasant situation’, when like many of us I spent a lot of time at home, not working, not going anywhere really.

So, 2021 started and I was still running. I’d even bought a fancy treadmill, for the mornings when it was too dark and cold to contemplate leaving the house. However - I hadn’t really looked critically at what I was eating. That was a task too intimidating for me to face. I was a junk food ju**ie and I didn’t want to quit. However, around Easter time, I had another ‘eureka’ moment. That slow endorphin release that exercise can provide really was more than a substitute for a carbohydrate or sugar high. I didn’t need it nearly as much as before. So, to quote Joe Strummer, I ‘cut the crap’. Or maybe three quarters of the crap. And replaced it with the healthy stuff.

It made one hell of a difference. Combined with the regular running, the weight started to fall away. And the distances I could run increased too. 5K slowly stretched into 10k. Personal best times were improving at a rate too. And honest to goodness that MAMIL attire started to fit okay and not look too embarrassing on me.

So, almost three years have now passed. Maths whizzes will have worked out my current age. I’m no longer anywhere close to any of those scary red zones in terms of health indicators. I’m a transformed man, honestly. There's 125 lbs less Mr Plow than there was during the 2019/20 Leeds' Championship winning season. Food tastes better because I no longer bombard my taste buds with sugar. I feel, generally speaking, bloody brilliant. Now I’m not going to come on all ‘motivational speaker’ here. Running might not be your thing. Fitness might not be. Swapping out the crap from your diet might not be. The takeaway, if there is one, is that I didn't think any of these would be mine either. But it turned out they were. So maybe they're worth trying?

Lastly, please for the love of God do not follow any of my advice. The web is chock full of really good, free, professional guides to exercise and diet. However, if you are truly out of any other options, then here are a few words of advice. Firstly, get the running shoes that work best for you. The wrong ones will skewer your feet and make the job much harder than it is already. You can buy a perfectly good pair for about £50. Or you could spend £200 and get a pair that will pretty much do the running for you, from a specialist running shop who will analyse your gait and advise you. Secondly, stretch to warm up and warm down. The older you are, the more you stretch. Lastly, don’t be disheartened if your fitness regime hurts your knees/back/ pinky fingers. Work through it, find a way around it, keep going. Nothing truly terrible is likely to happen to you. Which is the best most of us can ask for on any given day.

Now go away and find the money to buy "Legendary Super Hits Volume Four", the brand spanking new clutch of Mr Plow songs, due out in early 2023. Available from Bandcamp, all good and some rubbish streaming and download sites.

'Legendary Super Hits Volume Four'.

Recorded & Mixed Fall 2019. Waiting for Mr Plow to decide when it should be released. Probably 2023.

It's been a little while..

The Greatest Christmas Ever Seen - Single by Mr. Plow on Apple Music

Download yerself the greatest Christmas.

itunes.apple.com Listen to songs from the album The Greatest Christmas Ever Seen - Single, including "The Greatest Christmas Ever Seen." Buy the album for $0.99. Songs start at $0.99. Free with Apple Music subscription.

Tonight. From 7pm.

Timeline Photos

The Mr Plow band is somewhat fragmented right now. We lost The Crusher when she headed North to teach children how to start fires. Flame Boy is broken into several pieces as a result of titting around in a wet field. Sgt. Thorley has spent the summer buying and selling caravans.

However, there's two chances to see solo Mr Plow in October.

Thursday 6th October - Criterion Leicester, 8pm. Free admission. two long sets.

Sunday 23rd October - We Shall Overcome, Musician Leicester. See other posts for deets.

Plow out!

Mr Plow need a new drummer. PM for deets.

Solo Mr Plow show. 5/12/15. Criterion, Leicester. 3pm.

October 1st. Fight The Power!

This Friday. Greater Manchester. Peace be unto you!

Dark, Satanic Mr Plow.