Love Yourself First Coaching

When we don't give ourselves love, we develop a lack of it.

Likewise, we would become thirsty or hungry if we didn't drink or eat. Over time, the thirst or hunger would inevitably increase, leading us to settle for the first drop or crumb of love we receive 🤷

This lack of self-love ✖ exposes us to toxic partners who may give a drop or a crumb of love despite that being all they can give us ⚠️Over time, it could reinforce the narrative that we don't deserve better 😔

If we gave ourselves the love we dream the ideal partner would give us👩‍❤️‍👨, we would put ourselves in a much stronger position 💪where we are not thirsty, hungry and in need of love, which allows us to objectively evaluate the love and attention we receive from other people, as that love would be an extra ➕. It wouldn't replace our self-love. It would be additional. On top of it.

Our self-love is the rudder ☸ that defines our relationship's direction: inconsistent self-love, inconsistent relationship's directions. Our self-love determines what love we are going to attract and settle for.

It's like when you go food shopping 🛒 If you go hungry to the supermarket, you risk buying everything. However, if you go with a full stomach, your grocery choices become more controlled and healthy 🤗

Does this resonate with you?

🙋‍♀️I'm Alexia, an enthusiastic and empathetic self-love coach passionate about self-love's critical role in relationship happiness.

🎓 I certified myself as a coach to help women stop feeling insecure in their relationships because I know how terrible it feels to be happy one day and on the edge the other day. You deserve better.

👩‍💻My 6-month program is designed to change your mindset about love and feel more special, loved, and confident in your relationship regardless of your partner's attentions and reassurances.

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

✨ How we treat ourselves sends a message to others about how we want to be treated✨

⚠️ If we don't acknowledge our successes, our partner will get that we don't care about them, so he will tend to give them little importance.

⚠️ If we keep saying we're not pretty, our partner will likely be disincentivised from complimenting us as he will think we don't believe them.

⚠️ If we don't show ourselves kindness, compassion or respect, likely, our partner won't understand they matter to us.

🤔So...is how you're treating yourself actually the way you want to be treated by your partner?🤔

🙋‍♀️Hi, I'm Alexia; I am a certified coach empowering women in relationships so they can feel confident and loved.

👩‍💻My 6-month program is designed to change your mindset about love and make you feel more special, loved, and confident in your relationship regardless of your partner's attentions and reassurances. Check out my program, link in bio.

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

5 Reasons why we lose ourselves in relationships

⚠️We don't love ourselves enough. When we do not love ourselves, we feel a void. As soon as someone shows us some love, this emptiness gets partially filled. It feels amazing, so much so that we want more and more. Unless we realize that that emptiness will remain as long as we don't take responsibility for it, we will end up developing an addiction to that external love that we will regard as the only source of feeling loved.

⚠️We don't have a strong sense of self. When we are not clear on who we are, what we want, and what makes us happy, it's easier to distract ourselves by focusing on making someone else happy, especially if, as opposed to us, they openly share what makes them happy. By focusing on our partner's happiness so much, we end up neglecting ourselves.

⚠️We're used to people-please. Feeling accepted and approved by people feels so important to us that we are willing to give up parts of our true selves just to belong. Over time, we lose ourselves in the process.

⚠️We hold onto limiting beliefs about love. Limiting beliefs such as "in love, it's more important how our partner feels rather than how we feel", "Love is sacrifice", or "To be lovable, I need to give" lead us to overgive to our partner, forgetting about what we need from ourselves and in our relationship.

⚠️ It's easier to love ourselves when we're single. When we're single, we are the only person we need to care for. So unless taking care of ourselves is natural and automatic when we start a relationship, we end up caring for only one person, our partner.

If 2-3 of these reasons resonate with you, let's talk📞

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

🙋‍♀️I'm Alexia; I coach and empower women in relationships so they can feel confident and loved.

How do you think your relationship would change if you loved yourself more?
In the past, I would have answered, "My partner wouldn't like it, and he might leave me".
In one of my past relationships, I got to a point where I got exhausted from always giving up parts of myself to please my partner. I got used to doing it as I was too afraid he might not have liked me otherwise. But that very same mask I put on to protect myself from potentially losing him started to feel constraining, suffocating. It felt like a trap I couldn't escape from.
Why? Because I was terrified he could leave me if I suddenly started to take time away from him to look after my needs and wants besides his. I thought he only wanted me because I devoted all my time and energy to him. I didn't want to annoy or make him feel less special, as he could've left me.
What happened then? He didn't leave. I did. Out of desperation. As I couldn't bear any additional day not being myself. But as I was used to spending so much of my time and energy on my partner, that decision left me broken, with a huge void to fill that I could only heal with proper help.
And that's why I became a coach to help as many women as possible stop getting hurt or hurting themselves in relationships! How we feel in a relationship is under our control.
The kind of relationship we accept is under our control. The choices we make in our relationship are under control.
The more we choose to invest in our relationship with ourselves, the more our love life can benefit from it.

Does this resonate with you?

🙋‍♀️Hi, I'm Alexia; an enthusiastic and empathetic coach empowering women in relationships by stopping their lack of self-love from disrupting their love life.

👩‍💻My 6-month program is designed to change your mindset about love and make you feel more special, loved, and confident in your relationship regardless of your partner's attentions and reassurances.

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

☸️Our self-love is the rudder that defines our relationship's direction.☸️

😩A lack of self-love leads us to develop a dependency on our partner's reassurances, acceptances, and validations to feel loved because we base our worthiness of love on external approval rather than internal conviction.

😩At the same time, a lack of self-love leads us to accept less than what we really deserve because we think we don't deserve better than that and letting go of that will necessarily mean we'll end up alone.

🥰On the other hand, when we love ourselves, then we are clear on what we deserve, we allow it into our life, and we are not afraid of pushing back, as being in the wrong relationship is scarier than being lonely.

⚠️ Self-love plays a critical role in our relationship's happiness.⚠️

I experienced this in my relationships and see it daily with my clients.

🙋‍♀️Hi, I'm Alexia; I'm a self-love coach empowering women in relationships by stopping their self-doubt from sabotaging them so they can finally navigate their love life confidently.

🎓 I certified as a coach to help women stop feeling insecure in their relationships because I know how terrible it feels to be happy one day and on the edge the other day. You deserve better.

👩‍💻My 6-month program is designed to change your mindset about love and feel more special, loved, and confident in your relationship regardless of your partner's attentions and reassurances. Check out my program, link in bio.

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

6 things to do if you are losing yourself in a relationship!

👉Make time for yourself. You're more than your relationship. Your partner is only one part of your world. They might make it a better world to live in, but they're still just a tiny part of it.

👉Identify and pursue personal interests. Remember, a happy you, a happy relationship, because the more you can make yourself happy on your own, the less demanding you'll be with your partner to compensate for a lack of happiness in your life. So next time you have an opportunity to feel good that doesn't involve your partner, don't feel guilty! See it as an investment in your relationship's happiness. Experimenting with new things is also a way to get to know ourselves and what we like and don't like.

👉Spend time with friends and family. Different people bring out different personalities of us. Friends will bring out a side of us that is not what our partner brings out but that we like as much.

👉Cultivate your independence. It will make you feel better about providing for yourself without relying on another person and not feeling like you cannot look after yourself alone.

👉Don't be afraid of speaking up! The right partner is the one that doesn't limit our true self but inspires and motivates us to be ourselves. That doesn't mean we must expect our partner to accept all we want. People may have different needs, so it's important to handle conflicts healthily, compromise where possible, and agree to disagree.

👉Make yourself feel loved so you don't rely on your partner as your only source of love. You've got a lot of love to give your partner. Give some to yourself and see how differently you'll feel about yourself. Very likely, as special as you make your partner feel!

Which one are you going to practice first?

🙋‍♀️Hi, I'm Alexia; I'm a self-love coach empowering women in relationships by stopping their self-doubt from sabotaging them so they can finally navigate their love life confidently.

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

It's uncommon not to have fears when starting a relationship. Most of them stem from painful past experiences, others we internalised. Their intensity would vary depending on the self-awareness and healing work each party in the couple might have developed individually, which is why working on ourselves is essential regardless of our relationship status.

Below are what tend to be the most common fears for my clients:
💥Fear of abandonment/rejection
💥Fear of not being good enough for their partner/disappointing
💥Fear of infidelity
💥Fear of opening up and being vulnerable
💥Fear of being their true self because this could lead the partner to be less attracted to them
💥Fear of feeling guilty if they take time away from their partner to focus on their wellbeing
💥Fear of conflict as it could push the partner away

💬👇 Which ones resonate with you the most? Let me know in the comments!💬👇

🧐Here are some questions for you to reflect on 🧐

👉Do you talk to your partner about them? If you do, how do you express them? If you don't, how do they manifest in your relationship?
👉How are they affecting your relationship?
👉How are they affecting your peace of mind?
👉What are you doing to overcome them?
👉What are you willing to do to break free from these fears weighing on your relationship?

🙋‍♀️Hi, I'm Alexia; I'm a self-love coach empowering women in relationships by stopping their self-doubt from sabotaging them so they can finally navigate the love landscape confidently.

👩‍💻My 6-month program is designed to change your mindset about love and make you feel more special, loved, and confident in your relationship regardless of your partner's attentions and reassurances. Check out my program, link in bio.

📥 Apply for a free month of coaching; link in bio.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.

⚠️ Eight signs you are losing yourself in your relationship⚠️

1️⃣ You don't know who you are without your partner.

2️⃣ You don't invest time in your interests.

3️⃣ You're letting go of your social life to spend time with your partner.

4️⃣ His opinion has become your opinion.

5️⃣ You always need him to help you decide.

6️⃣ Your partner is your constant thought.

7️⃣ You say yes to him when you want to say no.

8️⃣ You feel trapped and miss freedom.

Let's talk if you resonate with 2 or 3 of these signs!

🌟 I'm Alexia, a certified life coach passionate about self-love and its critical role in relationship happiness.
🌟 I coach women so they acknowledge their worth and give themselves the love they have always delegated and expected from their partner.
🌟 As they embark on this self-love journey with me, they soon see their love life transform. They start to feel loved and lovable independently of their partner's reassurances. Similarly, they learn to love themselves too much to get stuck in situations they do not deserve.

🔥Help me free you from the insecurities weighing on your love life.🔥

📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.
📥 Apply for my free month of coaching; link in bio.

I used to expect my partner to love parts of me I was pretty vocal about I didn't like.

Until I realized I couldn't expect someone else to appreciate and love parts of me, I struggled to accept and love 🫣

Would you buy a car from a car seller that only highlights what could be improved in the car? 🤔Or would you instead buy from a car seller that highlights the best traits of the vehicle while being honest about what, at this moment, it cannot offer?😉

There could be people out there willing to give you the love you are not giving yourself like there could be people ready to buy that one car, although the seller is doing a terrible job selling it. But if, over time, the car only shows warning lights that highlight what it misses, then it's a big ask to expect the enthusiasm for the car to remain the same😩

What often happens for the women I work with is that they believe that ONLY IF someone is willing to love those parts of themselves they don't like, THEN they become worthy of being loved.

Does this resonate with you?

Well, this is bull****‼ As much as we can strive to be better, we deserve to be loved for who we are now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now.
We work on ourselves for ourselves, to make us happier. We don't do it so that other people can like us better. Because if others want us only if we change, then they don't love us, simply because we don't change what we love.

What are those parts of yourself you expect your partner to accept and appreciate of yourself that you struggle to do the same for?

💬 Let me know in the comments.
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📥 Share with someone who may need to hear this.
📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.
📥 Apply for my free month of coaching, link in bio.

🌟 I'm Alexia, and I'm a certified life coach with a passion for self-love and its critical role in relationship happiness. Help me break you free from the insecurities that are weighing on your relationships 💪

You are lovable regardless of your relationship status.

Who is in a relationship isn't more lovable compared to someone who isn't. Similarly, those in a happy relationship aren't more lovable than those in an unhappy one.

🥰 We are all naturally and intrinsically lovable as the beautiful work in progress that we are. We all deserve to be loved with our flaws and imperfections. 🥰

How lovable we are cannot depend on someone's ability or inability to give us the love we deserve.

⁉️ Why ⁉️

⚠️ Our partner might show love differently compared to us. As Gary Chapman described, there could be different love languages. If ours doesn't match our partner's and we're unaware of it, we may risk ever feeling unloved and unlovable. We'd also run the risk of unfairly and selfishly asking our partner to change behaviours so that we can feel lovable, causing tension in the relationship.

⚠️ We might be in an unhealthy relationship where our partner doesn't treat us as we deserve. If we attach our lovability to his ability to give us the love we deserve, we start believing he is not treating us right because we're not lovable. That dangerous belief would keep us stuck in that unhappy relationship because we'd worry that we might never find someone who'll love us, risking ending up alone.

💙 Deciding and believing we are lovable regardless of what is going on in our love life encourages us to give ourselves love. The more healthy self-love we give ourselves, the less thirsty for love we become, and the better we become at distinguishing crappy love from the love we deserve. 💙

Does this resonate with you?

📞 Book a free consult, link in bio.
📥 Apply for my free month of coaching, link in bio.

🌟 I'm Alexia, and I'm a certified life coach with a passion for self-love and its critical role in relationship happiness. I'm on a mission to coach women who want to break free from the insecurities that are weighing on their relationships.

“Practicing self-love means learning how to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect, and to be kind and affectionate to ourselves.” - Brené Brown

Do you agree?

What does practising self-love mean to you?

I'm a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

As I always say to my clients, when you love yourself, you always win.

When you allow yourself to give yourself the care, attention and kindness you give to someone you love, you start to feel loved and truly happy. As a result, you won't be in a position to need your partner to make you feel loved and happy and risk that unfair and unrealistic expectations might push him away.

Similarly, to love yourself means to acknowledge your worth and uniqueness and confidently protect it by setting firm boundaries with those who don't acknowledge it and respect it.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉

Six signs you are not getting enough alone time in your relationship:

⚠you are running out of topics to talk about
⚠your partner has become your only source of support
⚠you no longer do the things you’ve always enjoyed doing
⚠you no longer know who you are outside of your relationship
⚠you feel emotionally and physically disconnected from your partner
⚠you get annoyed and argue over insignificant things

Which one resonates with you the most? Let me know in the comments below! 👇

Spending time on our own while in a relationship is key to our happiness and, as a result, our relationship wellbeing.

I'm a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

When you allow yourself to give yourself the care, attention and kindness you give to someone you love, you start to feel loved and truly happy. As a result, you won't be in a position to need your partner to make you feel loved and happy and risk that unfair and unrealistic expectations might push him away.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉

If you loved yourself unconditionally, would you speak to yourself any differently?

How would that impact your happiness?

How would that impact your relationship?

What could happen to your happiness if you didn't try?

What could happen to your relationship if you didn't try?

Let me know your answers in the comments below! 👇

I'm a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

As I always say to my clients, when you love yourself, you always win.

When you allow yourself to give yourself the care, attention and kindness you give to someone you love, you start to feel loved. As a result, you won't be in a position to need your partner to do it for you and risk that unfair and unrealistic expectations might push him away.

Similarly, to love yourself means to acknowledge your worth and uniqueness and protect it by setting firm boundaries with those who don't acknowledge it and respect it.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉

All relationships require work. However, that work does not require adding value to yourself.

Striving to be a better person is admirable as long you do it to fulfil your need for personal development, not to earn someone else's love.

You are worthy of love as you are.

The work in a relationship involves questioning what you think you know about love and relationships to remove beliefs that are not serving you or your relationship well.

I’m a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

As I always say to my clients, when you love yourself, you always win.

Self-love allows you to acknowledge your worth and uniqueness so that you confidently push away the wrong partner who doesn’t acknowledge them.

Similarly, it drives you to give yourself the love you need avoiding pushing the right partner away by unfairly demanding he does it for you.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉

Do you and your partner spend enough alone time?

Here are seven reasons why that is important.

👉You preserve your self-identity (i.e. what makes you YOU).
👉You allow time and space for self-reflection, which is the key to self-development.
👉You increase the excitement in the relationship as you always have something new to learn and share with your partner.
👉You appreciate your partner's presence even more.
👉You fulfil your needs, so you don't expect your partner to.
👉You practice being comfortable on your own, ensuring you base your relationship on love, not the need to feel validated, loved, and less lonely.
👉As a result of all the above, you improve the relationship's wellbeing.

When you love yourself, you value and protect your alone time as you acknowledge its tremendous positive impact on your personal growth, happiness, life satisfaction and relationship wellbeing.

I'm a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

As I always say to my clients, when you love yourself, you always win.

When you allow yourself to give yourself love, you don't need your partner to do it for you risking to overwhelm him with unfair and unrealistic expectations that push him away.

Similarly, to love yourself means to acknowledge your worth and protect it by setting firm boundaries with those who don't acknowledge it and respect it.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉

Most women I work with sow a tendency to mould themselves into the version of girlfriends they think their partner expects in the hope this might get their partner to be attracted to them even more.

However, by doing so they:

⚠ hide what makes them unique and exciting in their partner's eyes
⚠ disregard what they need to be happy
⚠ condemn themselves to unhappiness
⚠ weigh on their partner, expecting him to make them happy

In other words, hiding their authenticity pushes the partner away rather than bringing him closer.

What comes out of rejection is what we make it mean. It doesn't mean we are not worthy of love. It simply means we are better off without someone who does not appreciates us for who we are and that to be with us needs us to be someone who we are not.

I’m a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

As I always say to my clients, when you love yourself, you always win.

Self-love allows you to acknowledge your worth and uniqueness so that you confidently push away the wrong partner who doesn’t acknowledge them.

Similarly, it drives you to give yourself the love you need avoiding pushing the right partner away by unfairly demanding he does it for you.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉

As long as we delegate the fulfilment of all our needs to our partner, they will remain unmet, causing us to feel "needy".

That void we feel before we meet our partner and think will magically go away when we meet him is actually the bunch of needs we are not taking responsibility for and, therefore, not even trying to fulfil.

This void won't disappear when we have a relationship but when we take responsibility for it.

As a matter of fact, the only difference between the void we experience when we are single and the one we experience when we are in a relationship is that when we are in a relationship, we can unfairly blame someone else for not filling it.

I'm a certified life coach coaching women in relationships to love themselves first, which is the key to a happy YOU and a happy relationship.

As I always say to my clients, when you love yourself, you always win.

When you allow yourself to give yourself love, you don't need your partner to do it for you risking to overwhelm him with unfair and unrealistic expectations that push him away.

Similarly, to love yourself means to acknowledge your worth and protect it by setting firm boundaries with those who don't acknowledge it and respect it.

Within my six-month programme, you get:
🌟 24 weekly 1 hour calls where we address different areas of your self-love
🌟 Dedicated exercises to reinforce the mind shifts achieved during each session
🌟 In-between sessions' written support so I can be by your side as you progress on your self-love journey

👉Book a free consult with the link in bio 😉