Thousand Miles For Mental Health

Hello, my name is Nikki Mattocks, and I am a 27-year-old speaker, educator, and writer. My journey through life has been filled with challenges. It all began in my childhood, where I faced abuse, bullying, and various traumas. Not only did I endure these struggles, but my mother and siblings also battled eating disorders.

While other children played innocent games like kiss chase, I found myself playing a darker game of ugly chase. I vividly remember seeking comfort in food at the age of ten, only to be overwhelmed with guilt and shame afterwards. At thirteen, I accompanied my father to a doctor's appointment, where the physician, concerned about his health, advised me to hit the gym. This early encounter with weight-related stigma set the tone for my life.

Throughout the years, I have felt like an outcast and believed that I deserved the hardships I faced because of my appearance. The constant refrain to "eat less and move more" from medical professionals has been a familiar echo in my life. If I had a pound for every time I heard that, I might have been a millionaire by now—a small silver lining to an otherwise challenging journey.

In 2017, I found myself in a violent relationship that left me traumatized. Mental health professionals prescribed antipsychotics, causing me to become lethargic and reliant on food as a coping mechanism. As a result, my weight spiraled out of control. Fast forward to 2020, when I finally left the toxic relationship, only to find my life in shambles.

In 2021, after seeking help, I was diagnosed with bulimia and body dysmorphic disorder. Despite undergoing 20 cognitive behavioral therapy sessions, my condition did not improve, leading to my discharge. The road to recovery from my eating disorder and body image struggles remains long, but I am actively pursuing treatment for my mental health issues and seeing progress.

Through this arduous journey, I have learned that eating disorders are not a lifestyle choice but a life-altering condition that requires recognition, adequate funding, and compassionate treatment. I constantly remind myself, and the little Nikki within me, that I am more than my weight or appearance. I am a kind, caring, and intelligent individual who, with the right support, can find hope and healing.

Thank you for listening to my story.

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Be sure to follow me on Instagram: https://bit.ly/3mJmK5B

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Legend.

A lot of things...

I’m ready!! ❤️

A beautiful family photo ❤️🐾

Amen ❤️

Lovely weather
Hope everybody stays safe
Enjoy yourself people
Forward thinking ❤️

The first picture is how far we made it last year before we had to make our journey home for personal reasons. The second picture is what we hope to add to the ride this year. it's going to be tough but with a little better organisation and more preparation, I think this year we will smash it! For a great cause and to send a huge message to other sufferers that they are not alone! Keep your eye out as I'll be updating you all very soon.. let's do it 💪