The Baby Company

Katy is our W-s-M Social Walk ambassador - if you're interested in Pre or Postnatal fitness and recovery visit her page and give her a follow ☺️

🐝 WHAT ARE YOUR FITNESS REQUIREMENTS? 🐝

My current class list is:

🐝 POSTNATAL MUM AND BABY FITNESS CLASSES
🐝 PREGNANCY AND POSTNATAL ONLINE SESSIONS
🐝 LADIES ONLY BOOTCAMP
🐝 1:1 PERSONAL TRAINING
🐝 RESTORE TO RUNNING COURSES
🐝 FREE MONTHLY WALK & TALKS - Ambassador with The Baby Company
🐝 FREE CHALLENGE GROUP Bee-Challenged!

Spaces are limited and filling up, if you are interested please book through my website bee-mumfit.co.uk or speak to me directly at [email protected]

We've two more local walks coming up!
Starting with Uphill Boatyard this Friday, followed by Clevedon Seafront next week!
Head to www.bookwhen.com/thebabyco to book your FREE space!
Allmamas Pilates
Beemumfit

Children learn by doing.
When we do everything for them - because its easier, quicker, a better job, safer etc - they have no opportunity to learn for themselves, build their self-esteem or make sense of the world in which they live.

Taking the time to step back and let them do for themselves, or atleast try, can go a very long way towards easing frustrations that arrise from not being given the space, time and trust to try.

Even in activities that present elements of danger, measured risk is ok! ⚠️
That means you've assessed the situation, taken account of the danger and perhaps put preventions in place, but in the moment, with positive narration from you, your little one is able to explore the risk, assess for themselves and have a go with the safety of their carer close by.

When we make time and patience for our little ones to figure it out, we are telling them its ok to have a go, its ok not to get It right and its ok not to know how, but with time and practice they will get there. We are teaching them perseverence, resilience, communicating that we believe in them and have time for them 💗

✨What has your little one been mastering for themselves?! ✨

🙌 in the comments if you sometimes just feel like you need someone to help you find a little clarity?
I know i certainly do! 🙌

Toddler parenting can be hard. It can also be fun, chaotic, crazy, fast, emotional, a roller coaster, stressful, exciting, daunting, full of doubt, full of wonder and so much more...
..it's no wonder we can find ourself feeling stressed, foggy, uncertain and questioning our abilities as a parent. You can bet you aren't the only one feeling like this some of the time...most of the time even.

So how can i help you?
Well first of all take a deep breath and remember that you are an amazing parent and the fact that you even consider and reflect on these things shows how much you care and how hard you try 💗
Secondly, have a look at the link in my bio and explore The Terrific Toddlers Pathway for my online support pathway for all parents of toddlers and young children. It's packed full of useful tools without causing overwhelm AND you have permanent access to the FB support group too where you can ask all sorts if questions!

Finally, remember, its nothing personal! 😘

Maddie x

Clevedon Social Walks!

I am delighted to announce that Anja will be hosting our fabulous Social Walk in Clevedon!
The first one will be this Thursday (14th), 10am meeting at the Salthouse Car Park by the children's play area, walking the Seafront to for a pitstop and then back again 🥰

SWIPE to learn more about the lovely Anja 💗

Social Walks are FREE but booking is required via the link in my bio or heading to www.bookwhen.com/thebabyco

It's coming to the end of another month which means next week is time for our next Social Walk with Katy from at Uphill Boatyard, Weston-super-Mare!

Our Social Walks are FREE to attend and aimed at helping parents to get out, get moving and get chatting!
Katy is a qualified pre and postnatal fitness instructor who runs her own succesful bootcamps weekly in the Somerset area. She's happy to offer support in this area as well as support and solidarity as a fellow parent.
PLUS there's a café stop at the end 😉
All Walks are pushchair and babycarrier friendly 💗

To join this months walk, follow the link in my bio (or on Facebook in the comments) and let us know you're coming!
⭐MONDAY 4th OCTOBER⭐

We are also looking for more Social Walk Ambassadors to either join Katy in Uphill or lead more Walks in other areas - if you're interested please get in touch 💗

Transitions, such as starting school can be really exciting, nerve-racking, emotional, scary, fun, traumatic, joyous...a whole host of emotions and thats for both the child and the parents!

If your little one is finding it tough, it's importante to trust your instincts, listen to your child and communicate with the adults supporting from the school.
You know your child best and what comforts them. Its ok to offer extra comfort at times of transition. Its ok to feel emotional or frustrated yourself - this is BIG stuff and its hard when they dont seem to be settling even though they were really excited before. You will get there - they will get there.

People often say "children are so resilient, they will be fine" but resilience, like anything else, is something to be harnessed by experience. Just like the separation of putting a baby to bed 'independently' (separate from its parent), it won't always happens first time...It may need to happen many times before our little one feels confident with that separation.
School is similar except there's so many more factors such as saying goodbye and not being certain when their parent will return, getting to know their teacher, getting to know their peers, getting on with their peers, sharing, playing together, noise, classroom rules, new activities, lots to learn, not being able to eat when they want, school uniform, toiletting, getting dressed independently... WOW! Thats a lot. A LOT.
All of this whilst having to hold it together all day until home time.
Que raging emotions, overtiredness, stroppiness, lack of concentration, mood swings, starvation and nothing being right from the minute you get home!
Is it any wonder?!

Often, understanding where our childrens behaviour is coming from can be really helpful.

⭐Have you experienced this yet?!
School, Childcare or any other transition?⭐

If this resonantes, or you need support with this or similar please let me know 💗 its never just you.

Why does change affect our little ones?

Like many adults, children and babies thrive on routine. That is, they feel safe in predictability. Knowing what comes next helps them to feel settled and safe. When faced with change or transition, they no longer know what happens next or how this experience goes. Uncertainty shows differently for every one of us and whilst the temprament we're born with might have some influence on this, its not the only factor:

Developmentally, our little ones get better at handling changes and transitions but like anything else, this comes with practice and support.

Self-esteem has a lot to do with how we handle change or unpredictability. A more confident child may be happier to Rider the wave and see how It goes, knowing that they are safe and cared for and that they can handle it. A less confident child might turno to their loved ones for guidance/feedback about what's going on and thats ok.

Previous experiences can reassure or undermine our childrens' confidence in these situations, as can the reactions of their main care givers - if those caring for them act out of sorts during periods of transition it can be even more unsettling. As with many things in parenting, role modelling has a huge part to play in how our children manage these experiences.

I often say:

⭐Be their constant in a world full of change and your little one will always get there ⭐

How does your little one do with change?

For support with this and many other aspectos of baby and toddler life, just send me a message to see how I can help Maddie 💗

This week i'm focusing on how change can affect our little ones...
How do they cope with change? How does it alter behaviour? Is sleep different during periods of change? Eating? Separation anxiety? Emotions? Neediness? Confidence? Play? Relationships?

⭐Do you notice differences in your little one during periods of change?⭐

It's perfectly normal to experience different behaviours in our little ones when they've gone through big or little changes in their lives. It's also perfectly normal for US to be affected by change and it can be difficult to practice resilience which we then role model to our children. Often times though, what they need is for us to stay the same, so that they have a constant to be guided by and to always come back to. If, when faced with change and unsettled behaviour, we - the parents - flap about trying this and then that and then something else, our little ones dont know whether they're coming or going and so things escalate...

Of course every situation, every family and every child is different and no one of these can be treated the same as the next. Thats why i love working with families on a private basis, to support them fully and tailor that support to their individual needs.
If you are looking for help, please do get in touch 💗

We're also chatting about this in more personal details in The Terrific Toddlers Pathway support group this week - link in my Insta bio!

In the midst of a toddler meltdown of any kind - or even a generally challenging day - It can be easy to slip into overwhelm when our reaction can hugely determine how the next 5 minutes is going to go.

So, when you're seeing red, at the end of your tether, feeling overwhelmed or like there's smoke coming from your ears, remember these five quick tips to help you stay calm and allow the moment to diffuse:

1️⃣. IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL!
Our little ones aren't purposefully setting out to throw a wobbler at the perfect opportunity, or to make you feel as awful/guilty/crap as posible, but It can definitely feel that way in the heat of the moment...
2️⃣. EMOTIONS TAKE OVER!
Our toddlers haven't developed a logical thinking brain yet (and won't for a very long time) so remember that when these big emotions are present, they literally flood their brain.
3️⃣. THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL!
See number 2...
4️⃣. GIVE YOURSELF (AND THEM) SPACE!
Some little ones will want cuddles, others will want to be left alone. You however, may need to step back and that's ok. If it's safe to do so, take a few steps away or move into the next room to GIVE yourself time to rationalise.
5️⃣. YOU GOT THIS!
You really have. You are your toddler's special person. In a minute It will have passed. Take some deep breaths, do what is needed and move on. Try to start fresh once it's over - your toddler lives in the moment and you can too!

There are times when we can preempt a change in behaviour or can understand why it happened - take big life events for example, we can almost guarantee behaviour or sleep (or both!) will be effected.
When this happens, offering empathy and understanding is really helpful, rather than going up against any unwanted behaviour.
Our little ones are trying to make sense of the event, the change or the new normal. Help them to understand. Offer language around the feelings, let them know you're there for them, provide emotional support and role model resilience.

Shame is a powerful feeling which is the result of many discipline methods. They do not help your little one to understand or know how to move forward and so next time you'll see more of the same.

It's not always the easiest or quickest route and you may come up against opinions around how to 'deal with' behaviour but your child's emotional resilience will be all the better for a bit of love, respect and empathy 💗

I went for it!
I coloured my hair to cover the greys...
A couple weeks ago in my stories we had quite a discussion about whether to embrace the grey in all its natural shimmer, or to cover up.
I was all for embracing it originally but as more and more grey strands started appearing I began leaning towards colour. Every way I parted my hair, wired grey hairs came through. It's ok really, but I wasn't quite ready for it yet.
It won't be forever but for this transitional period it's just right.

How do you feel about 'the greys'?

It's ok to just be surviving. We don't always need to be thriving.
Give yourself credit for the energy it takes to keep you and your family alive, functioning and doing all of the things.

If you're in a bit of a rut, take time to reflect and work out what might be needed to scoop you out. Talk to those around you and work out a way to help that happen.

Who's surviving at the moment?

Lots of Love 💗

Four years ago today I was 40 weeks pregnant with Sully, had refused a cervical sweep and was confident in my body that it would do what was needed when it was the right time.

When it came to the birth, there were elements of chaos as apparently many other babies decided they were also ready on the 17th August and ALL local hospitals were full! But this didn't seem to phase my confidence somehow and Sully was birthed pretty quickly, crowning upon arrival and narrowly missing a motorway delivery!
In comparison, Lawrence's birth twenty months before was otherwise straightforward yet I felt shocked, out of control and honestly traumatised.

Birth Trauma is recognised more holistically now in that NICE Guidelines recognise that a birth (and the perinatal period) can be experienced as traumatic even when the delivery is obstetrically straightforward AND trauma can be experienced by the birthing person, their birth partner or indeed the professionals supporting them.

Help is out there for anyone experiencing symptoms of PTSD following infertility, pregnancy, birth, feeding and the postnatal period...contact your GP or HV for more information or my inbox is always open for further signposting.

Join us tomorrow! (Monday) at Uphill Boatyard in W-s-M at 10am.
Katy is a pre and postnatal fitness instructor and hosts our regular FREE Social Walks!

Booking is necessary via the link in my bio on Instagram or www.bookwhen.com/thebabyco if you're reading on Facebook.

Meet at 10am outside the Uphill Wharf Cafe and set off on a gentle walk which is pushchair friendly and end back at the café for a pit stop for those who wish to stay!

See you there?!

If you find yourself googling infant/children's sleep, or trawling social media for goodness knows how long, you have probably come to realise that your child's sleep - whatever phase you're in - is pretty much 'normal' or to be expected.

That's because it really is. You haven't gotten anything wrong. You haven't created these 'bad habits' by your own doing. There's no rod in your back.

IT'S.NOT.PERMANENT.

This doesn't change the fact that it's bloody hard though does it?!

Often times, parents who join me for sleep support get so much comfort and relief from simply off-loading. Having someone listen - who isn't going to give you personal opinions, who will be non-judgemental, who really hears you and takes into account your whole family dynamic - can really feel so good. 🙌

Plus, after all the listening, I can support you with actual helpful, manageable and realistic ways to optimise sleep, feed emotional needs and decipher what your little one's sleep is telling you!

If this sounds good to you, reach out - I'm here 💗

After five years of creating my own business around my babies, today is the first time I've had to 'call in sick' to an employer.
When we moved to Spain I took a part time office job to help us settle in. My boss is great and very understanding of family life and all the chaos we've had to endure to get our residency here.
But phoning him last night to say the boys had been poorly over the weekend and so I would be staying home with them today felt very uncomfortable. I put the call off all day until the evening. He was fine, but there were long pauses in the conversation. I just said what I needed to and that I would be back Tuesday all being well.
I've felt uncomfortable ever since 😩

✨ As Mummy I WANT to be home to make sure my boys are feeling better.
✨ Also as a Mum I am working PART TIME whilst my husband works full time so it makes sense for me to be the one to take a day off.
✨ As a FEMALE employee with children, I was offered the job to fit around my children, with the assumption that's what I would need even though at the time my husband wasn't working. I am very grateful for this, it's brilliant, but am also regularly reminded of the inconvenience.
✨To work these part time, LOW PAID hours, I have to pay for my boys to go to holiday club during the long Spanish school holidays which costs more than half of what I earn each week.

🌟 Anyone else feeling GRATEFUL to have employment and LUCKY to fit it around their children but RESENTFUL of having to feel grateful and lucky?!

Social media in the last year has been flooded with campaigns for Mothers in particular to take 'self-care' more seriously - a valid campaign - you can't pour from an empty cup.
Yet the minute I enter into anything solely for myself that is more than a cup of tea on the sofa, I feel I should be doing something more productive - more important. ☕
A day to myself would be weird - why wouldn't I be with my children? What would I do?! Heaven knows I could do with it occasionally but committing to it happening without feeling uncharacteristically self-indulgent is another story.

Where have these self-judgements come from?!

The [basic morals of the] Gentle Parenting movement is far better ingrained into society these days - gone are the days of heavy-handed parenting being acceptable, there's support for parents who struggle with patience & understanding child development, children are listened to & have much more respect than they once did.

But there's also judgement on this - we're soft, our children unruly and there's no respect for their elders like there used to be - That's a criticism of parents and their approach to parenting. We're being walked over, making a rod for our own backs & being ruled by our children 🙄

Trying to get it right & fit in with society whilst acting on the best interests of our children -
We're with our children all the time, we carry them, hold them, sleep with them, cuddle them...

Turn it the other way & the parents that recognise when they need some time separate from their child; who send their little ones to childcare so that they can have free time, who regularly go on date nights, who have help at home, the Mums who go for a trip to the spa or to get their nails done...
Selfish.
Scoffed at.
Who do they think they are? They've got children now!

I hear these judgements alot and find myself sticking up for the parent AND the judger - These judgements come from other people's own insecurities, regrets and resentments.
A parent feeling overwhelm and craving a break is likely to judge the parents who regularly get the break.

It's not about you 💗
Let's support all parents.
Even the judgey ones.
All behaviour has roots.

✨

The boys were both overdue a hair cut but Sully wasn't keen. He's usually fine at the barbers but the last two times we've been he hasn't wanted it - that's fine, it's always a question and we go with the boys response.
His hair was getting a little desperate and with the warm weather coming here in Spain he was getting rather sweaty so, with the help of his brother, we set up a hairdressers for play. Sully pampered Lawrence with some moisturiser on his cheeks, wrapped his shoulders in a towel and brushed his hair before his trim. He even offered him a book and a drink and then used the till to take payment after.

Following this, we switched roles and Sully visited the hairdresser's for a pamper AND a trim! 🎉💇

There's always a nicer way of doing things, where everyone wins.
Sully just needed a little inspiration before having his haircut!

For support with your toddler and keeping everyone happy, visit the link in my bio (Instagram) or ask about The Terrific Toddlers Pathway!

I'm also taking bookings in August for Toddler & Preschooler support sessions 💜

When you have a baby all focus tends to be on those newborn and baby stages, with not many thoughts about toddlerhood with that stage feeling a way off yet. Then suddenly you have a toddler with all kinds of feelings, thoughts and a little bit of WILL POWER!! 🤪

Many parents find the transition to toddlerhood a chaotic one, let alone the toddler themselves! Whether it's because your toddler's behaviour has changed suddenly, you find it hard to manage boundaries, you aren't sure how to support their development, sleep has changed yet again, you're not sure how to approach things like potty training, you're worried you have a picky eater, tantrums and meltdowns feel like a constant battle or maybe your little one seems unsettled...
..whatever it is I can assure you it helps to have a plan. This doesn't mean a formal written step by step plan - it means acknowledging what is hard, reflecting on it, exploring what might be helpful for everyone concerned and making achievable goals with simple and consistent steps to get your family to a place where you are all happy and thriving.

If you need help navigating this I'm always here. I offer bespoke levels of support to help families navigate toddlerhood (and the preschool years) holistically. We can discuss your needs and how you would like to be supported.

Get in touch in the comments or private message for more information 💗

I'm always aware that for some people, seeing boys playing with dolls and other 'girly' toys is strange but the other day someone we know actually said to Lawrence "why have you got a dolly? What are YOU doing with a dolly?"
Lawrence's little face 🥺 he seemed unsure what this person meant and immediately went silly, as if to detract from the subject. I, meanwhile, was a bit taken back.

How do I deal with this?

I could respond with a defensive remark, put forward my opinion, defend Lawrence's choice...

Rather than make a stand and argue my thoughts on this (of which I have many!) I instead chose and managed to change the subject. Quickly.

You might wonder why I wasn't brave enough to argue, stand up for my son or make a valid point about how ALL play is for ALL children....it's because I am ever aware of how much information my children are observing and soaking up every minute of everyday, so for them to witness me having to defend their choice to play with a doll highlights to them that this is a potential issue. A controversial subject. Or even worse...not ok.

I never want my children, or any other, to grow up unsure. I never want them to have to change themselves to fit in with societal prejudices. I never want them to feel uncomfortable playing or being themselves.

So I changed the subject. This (older) person will probably never change his thoughts on this.
But trust me, it's stuck with me. Maybe I should have answered back if only to demonstrate to Lawrence that we can always stand up for ourselves?

I will always reaffirm to my boys that they can be themselves at all times and that I've got them covered. But sometimes you have to make that call, in the moment, how would you handle it?

If you've done even light reading into parenting or follow a few parenting/baby accounts you'll probably have read your fair share about the need to be surrounded by supportive people and loved ones during your parenting journey. But that's easy to point out to someone and it's easy to acknowledge you might need support but for some, building that village or supportive community isn't easy.

This was exactly what inspired me to start The Baby Company's Social Walks. To support parents to find a community. To create a welcoming space for all - anyone is welcome. For parents and parents-to-be to feel safe arriving alone knowing that someone will be there with a smile on their face and to chat, support and introduce them to others.

Join Katy from tomorrow and every Monday bi-weekly at Uphill Boatyard for a lovely walk and a stop at the

Instagram link in bio, Facebook link in comments.

(Booking is necessary but attendance is free!)

Observe the process.

We often feel pressure to join in with our child's play, create amazing activities and keep them busy but stepping back and letting them take the lead can give them so much more.

The boys pinched seeds out of the jars we have on the kitchen counter and planted them in with a couple of my plants without me knowing and have been nurturing them ever since. It's been a great opportunity to sit back and let them do what they think is needed in order to look after the seedlings and low and behold they are thriving 🌱

Sometimes - in fact often - it's just as good to sit and watch, being there if they want you to participate. Observe how they play, what makes them tick and witness the learning. It's an amazing process ☺️

Does your little one like to play independently?

When a child cries, remind yourself that it is ALWAYS ok for them to cry. No matter how trivial the trigger, no matter if it seems like something silly, over reacting or attention seeking, no matter the reason if there even is one...it is always ok for them to cry.

Crying is a communication of something, even when the child themselves don't know what that something is. In fact, often they don't know what that something is and that's why they're crying.

An overspill of emotions.
The product of frustration, anger, sadness, overwhelm.
Happy tears.
'I don't know why' tears.
'I just want Mummy' tears.
Going to bed tears.
I hurt my knee tears.
I need some love tears.
Look at me tears.

All of these tears can be made better. All of these tears can be a learning opportunity. All of these tears are an invitation for comfort - whatever that may look like.

Let your little one cry in the safety of your presence. Let them know it's ok and that you are there when they need you.

No one should ever be told
"Stop crying"
"Big boys don't cry"
"You're ok"

It's ALWAYS ok to cry 😢

This little chap needed help getting to sleep so cuddles in my bed it was.

Remember that whatever age your baby/toddler/child, it's ok for them to need help. It's ok for you to support to sleep.

THERE IS NO ROD FOR YOUR BACK!

If you had to feed your baby to sleep because that's the only way you can that's ok - it's perfectly natural, normal, developmental and FINE!

If you had to stay with your toddler until they fell asleep that's ok - it's perfectly natural, normal, developmental and FINE!

If your older child needed you to pop back in a few times before they could settle that's ok - it's perfectly natural, normal, developmental and FINE!

Whatever it is you do, whatever it is they need, however they drift off to sleep - it's all ok, natural, normal, developmental and FINE!!

If however it's not ok - for you, your family and the holistic well-being of all involved, there are very gentle, loving and respectful ways to support your little one towards a more appropriate bedtime. I can help you with this - just get in touch 💗

Whatever age your baby, toddler, older child, it's helpful to keep in mind that unless you are bed sharing, ultimately, bedtime is a period of separation.

As parents we are often led to believe that separation anxiety is something experienced by babies at set times of their development. But anyone can and does experience separation anxiety at any time.

Think about your baby or toddler for example - they've been with you all day, or at least for a large portion of it, and now they're expected to separate from you without fuss and calmly drop off to sleep. There's going to be need to be some kind of preparation there isn't there?

Let's think about how we can prepare for separation anxiety at bedtime...
✨ Fill you child's 'emotional cup' during the day
✨ Implement a period of high quality play with your little one before bed
✨ Give lots of cuddles, loving touch, eye contact and communication
✨ Reassure them that you're here if they need you by responding to their cries
✨ Take into account any big life events or factors that may cause disruption
✨ Take time for yourself to prepare for bedtime, making sure you are on top form to respond with love and patience - this might be two minutes alone, a snack, a drink, dancing...

If you have any questions let me know in the comments, or contact me for further help with your little one's sleep!

💗