Writing Tips - Eric Brady Books

TACKLING THE TASK
We've got Alf and the Gang in a real crime scene of 'Slim' Carstairs threatening to 'blow Fred's head off' as he brings his double-barrelled shotgun from threatening the ex-prison Governor.
But Alf has rammed the muzzle of his (gas-lighter) pretend six-gun against 'Slim's neck and threatened to blow HIS head off.
All this is totally outside the basic tenor of 'Alf King - Gang Boss' and the 'Alf King' series (see ericbradybooks.co.uk for their titles. Obtainable from Lulu.com or Amazon) which is a gentle parodying of both sides of the Law scene.
It was deliberately introduced to point up what real crime is - vicious, cruel and nasty.
To return to the story -
'Slim' stops, his shotgun still pointing at the roof of the coach.
"Fred, come and take 'Slim's gun. give it to Sid to hold. Fred take out one of your long bootlaces and tie 'Slim's hands behind his back and sit him down in front of Sid." As his rapped out orders ("just like an Army General" - Eleanor whispered to Silvia beside her) orders were being carried out - "And then do the same to Johnny."
And then Alf was stumped.
What was he going to do with those two now?????
Only one thing to do, he decided - get the cops. Only they had the gear to hold these two. AND HIM A GANG BOSS DOING THAT!!!!!
"But you was doing a Hold-up yourself Alf!!!" Frank, the Driver reminded him.
Alf stopped - and shrugged.
"Of course he wasn't," the ex-Prison Psychologist said quickly. "What happened was this -----." And spontaneously produced a concocted story totally unrelated to what had happened earlier immediately backed by all the lady passengers.
Their 'liked' Hold-up man had become their 'adored' Rescuer!
Tomorrow's Post - the cops come and Martha's interrogation.

TACKLING THE TASK
Our gentle parodying of the Crime Scene seen in 'Alf King - Gang Boss' has suddenly shown what 'Crime' is really like - vicious, cruel and nasty - as Johnny Munro is going round the coach passengers robbing the elderly ladies of their purses and personal jewellery
"Please let me keep this ring. My husband gave it to me just before he died," begged the lady sitting in front of Fred tearfully.
"So what. Put it in there or you'll get this," Johnny snarled, putting his fist 6 inches from Jemima's face.
And went flying up the coach as Fred's big fist with all his considerable muscle and weight behind it smashed into his face.
'Slim' Carstairs immediately swung his double-barrelled shotgun up from threatening the ex-prison governor yelling he was going to 'blow his (Fred's) head off'.
But Alf stood up from behind the driver's seat and rammed the muzzle of his (gas lighter) six-gun against 'Slim's neck while his shotgun was still pointing at the coach's roof.
"Hold still or I'll blow YOUR head off!" Sheer terror made Alf's voice a threatening growl.
Tomorrow's Post - What next?

TACKLING THE TASK
The REAL Hold-up men.
As previously mentioned the 'Alf King' series pokes gentle fun at those people and institutions of the Law Divide. This episode though brings in DRAMA. To switch atmosphere but only briefly adds contrast. So the James Bond and similar books and movies will suddenly bring in a spot of humour. And vice versa here.
Two men suddenly burst out of the woods each side of the road, one carrying a double-barrelled shotgun pointing the windscreen. The driver brakes immediately. The other man runs to the coach door and hammers on it. Under the menace of the shotgun Frank opens the door. Alf drops into the seat behind Frank. Both gunmen pile in, the shotgun is rammed into Frank's side as a police car, siren wailing, roars towards them.
"Draw their attention and you'll get both barrels," gunman snarls.
Frank doesn't. Gunman relaxes, but the tension in the coach has rocketted upwards. In no way could these two be called 'Nice' by anyone.
Gunman looked round them.
"Hey Johnny. Might as well go round this lot and grab anything they've got. Purses, rings, necklaces an' stuff."
"Good idea 'Slim'," Johnny answered.
He started going round holding out an already half-full cloth bag.
Under the menace of Johnny's fist and the shotgun now pointing at the ex-prison Governor, the first rows of ladies put purses and jewellery into the bag.
Tomorrow's post - What next?

TACKLING THE TASK
When writing a book it's important to keep to Characters and the Theme. As the Theme of the whole Alf King series (see ericbradybooks.co.uk for the titles - obtainable from Lulu.com or Amazon) is gentle leg-pulling of those both sides of the Law I keep to both.
When the Gang board the coach there are a dozen elderly white-haired grannies also boarding - just the kind of people Fred's granny (in dreams) had warned against him frightening so causing them to faint , have hysterics or heart attacks all over the place.
So when Alf announced "This is a Hold-up", Fred panicked. Not that anyone else did.
"Don't you ladies worry or be frightened of us! We ain't going to hurt or rob you not no way! We're only after what's in that safe box by the driver."
"This is fun!" burst out Jessica happily. "When I went to Canada years ago a cowboy did this to us! He was nice."
"Shurrup Fred," Alf ordered. While HE didn't want anyone to faint, have hysterics or heart attacks he DID want them compliant.
Fred shurruped.
"Interesting that Claude," one elderly gentleman said to another in the front two seats. "That little oaf gives an order and that big oaf obeys instantly."
"I don't think they're oafs. I think they're nice," declared Eleanor. "Especially our Hold-up man."
Alf then recognised her. She was their Check-out lady at the supermarket! So she would identify him to the cops!!
As it was Eleanor who had said it (who had organised their 'wonderful' trip to London for a dinner, Show and hotel and they were on their way to repeat this at a seaside town then she must have organised this 'wonderful adventure' too) so they all joined the chorus of admiration of the Gang in general and Alf in particular.
Much to the embarrassment of Alf and the disgust of the ex-prison governor, Claude.
And then everything changed.
Tomorrow's Post - the REAL Hold-up men.

TACKLING THE TASK
The Passengers on the Target Coach.
Having decided to hold up a coach triven by Frank for the valuables he'd told them he carried in a Safe by him, the Gang boarded the Coach on the R-Day (Raid-Day).
And Fred's nightmare started. His Late, white-haired Granny appearing in dreams twice had warned him against wearing stocking masks that would frighten elderly lady passengers to faint, have hysterics or heart attacks,as a dozen similar white-haired Grannies began boarding the coach, with sundry others.
The Gang would NOT be wearing stocking but seeing those ladies Fred wanted to call off the whole thing. The Boss though having 'psyched himself up' wouldn't be baulked.
As the ladies were chattering among themselves of the 'wonderful time they'd had, arranged by Eleanor, of thewonderful dinner in London, the wonderful following Show, a wonderful hotel and now they were going on this wonderful coach to a wonderful seaside town for another wonderful Show and hotel.. In short it had all been wonderful.
As the coach reached the Target point, Alf got up from his seat partway up the coach from beside Fred and Sid - Fred panicked.
Alf went to stand by Frank (the driver) pulling out his six-gun (a gas lighter really) and announced that this was a Hold-up.
Tomorrow's Post - The passengers and Fred's reactions.
For the fuller details of the Gang's Hold-up Planning consult 'Alf King - Gang Boss' ericbradybooks.co.uk, from Lulu.com or Amazon

TACKLING THE TASK
Keeping in the character we've given Alf King as an 'aspiring Gang Boss', he has an aspiration to own a GUN. Not a REAL one though because he doesn't want to hurt anyone either but a lookalike.
He was going past Joey Stricker's Pawn Shop when he saw IT. His DREAM GUN. In seconds he was inside the shop.
"How much for this?" he asked getting it from the window and putting it on the counter. It was a Western-type Six-shooter on a stand.
"200 quid." Seeing how keen Alf was he quadrupled the price.
But Alf remembered only too well how Joey had diddled him out of 400 quid over that ring (for details see 'Alf King - Gang Boss' from Lulu.com or Amazon)
"Make it 100 and you've got a sale. Remember you diddled me out of 400 quid over that ring."
"That was a mistake Alf - honest it was." 'Honest' was always far from Joey's Life-standards. "But okay."
Joey's eyes bulged. Alf produced it straight off! Joey expected to make him a 'loan' for it at his usual rate of 99.9% interest.
Joey showed him how the 'gun' was really a gas lighter - pull the trigger and a little flame came out of the barrel. It even came with a small box of replacement flints.
Alf walked out, now feeling every inch a Gang Boss.
Tomorrow's Post - The Passengers on their 'Target Coach'.

TACKLING THE TASK
Fred's ghastly nightmare.
The Boss (Alf King) had said they would do 'the raid masked up'.
Up-to-date villains use stockings for their masks. As there's no 'Villains shops' on the High Streets they have to buy ordinary ladies stockings. But getting those was not Fred's ghastly nightmare - he got his from Sid whose daughter got tights for him 'because they're warmer than me Long Johns'. They could use a leg each.
When Fred tried his on it transformed his normally friendly countenance into looking 'real 'orrible'.
That night his late, beloved, white-haired Granny appeared in his ghastly nightmare warning him that other white-haired Grannies on the coach they were going to hi-jack would faint, have hysterics or heart attacks if he appeared like that.
Je**ed awake he made a cup of tea, went back to bed - and as soon as he went back to sleep his white-haired Granny appeared again with the same dread warning.
Awake again he vowed not to wear his mask on the raid - would that be okay?
Eventually back to sleep his Granny was evidently okay with that because she didn't re-appear.
Eventually The Boss gave way to panic-stricked Fred and cancelled the 'mask-up' order but insisted they should go 'weaponed up'. He had a special reason for that.
Tomorrow's Post - The Gang 'weaponed-up'.

TACKLING THE TASK
Faced with the problem of a sky-jack (hi-jacking a plane for its load of diamonds, suggested by Fred) Alf turned to a less perilous target from height and parachutes idea. that was Sid's suggestion.
Frank drove a coach where he had a safe by him, that he guarded with life he'd said, that had all kinds of valuables - even diamonds maybe. Sid had believed every word, Fred didn't (he'd quite fancied himself parachuting out of a plane) Alf was doubtful but decided they'd give it a go.
So he summoned Frank over for a Conference and Briefing.
A Plan was concocted. Masks would be worn,
And that night Fred had a ghastly nightmare that made him pressure Alf in the strongest possible terms to cancel the whole Project.
Tomorrow's Post - Fred's ghastly nightmare.

TACKLING THE TASK
The Gang's reaction to Fred's findings.
Having sussed out the potential for hi-jacking UK Internal Flights for their expected cargoes of diamonds worth millions, his report was good and bad.
Bad because they don't, and any that did, Sonia (travel agent) thought would be guarded by Security firms. Sid added to that gloom by describing one he'd met once as them being 'big tough b;okes with muscles bigger than Fred's and trained to smash anyone who tried anything'. And they always trvelled in twos.
But Freds report did haved its good side - he'd come back with some Holiday Brochures and the suggestion THEY should go on holiday too 'now they were in the money. BUT JUST THEM. THE GANG.'
Entranced they poured over the Brochures.
Starting rumours among the Regulars the Gang were going INTERNATIONAL.
Tomorrow's Post - The Gang's real hi-jack target.

TACKLING THE TASK
Fred, The Red Lion landlord and in Alf's Gang a big business tycoon?
Tasked by The Boss to check out Internal flights to hi-jack if they carry valuable cargoes, Fred wears his best suit to make his first ever visit to a Travel Agent. As the 4 Agents were all busy Fred looked at the Travel Brochures on the shelves - and was amazed at the far-flung places you could go to. Including somewhere they called the Isle of Man! Did they ban women going he wondered.
An agent came free, Sonia her name tag said, so Fred slid into a chair opposite and his 'character'. His name was 'Mr. Brookes', he owned some Wine Bars around London but was wanting to expand 'up north'. Rather than spending days driving to all those towns in his Rolls he was thinking of flying. He suggested a dozen towns which Sonia said she would get up flights to and from them for the next six months. Then Fred's real question - what provisions for carrying valuables on those flights? He had jewellery displays in his Wine Bars. They didn't carry things like that as cargo on normal flights Sonia said and made various suggestions - none of which were any use to the Gang's plans.
Then Fred, with Sonia's assistance, picked several holiday brochures. Fred had had the brainwave that now the Gang were in the money - why shouldn't THEY go on foreign holidays like other people did!
Tomorrow-s Post - The Gang's reactions

TACKLING THE TASK
Who's conning who?
A changed Alf King?
Sid, having been totally conned by Frank was convinced the Gang could make millions by getting loads of diamonds that Frank had implied he carried in a safe by his side on the coach he drove for a bus company. Fred had rubbished it. Alf thought he wanted to check it out though believing less than half.
Sid collected Frank - who didn't rank Alf much.
"If I'm to talk to you about the VERY valuable stuff I carry I want fifty. Up front," Frank said.
Alf put 50p on the table - and kept his finger on that.
"I meant 50 quid!" Frank spluttered.
"But you haven't told me nothing yet. I only pay for results."
Frank looked at him. Alf HAD changed. The old Alf was nearly as connable as Sid.
But Frank started talking as big to Alf as he had to Sid. Sid swallowed it wholesale. But As Alf started questioning him and pinning him down (another new thing) Frank pulled back.
Alf finally put a fiver on the table and pushed it towards Frank.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow Frank if I'm interested. If I am interested there could be more, a lot more." Doing a con-job himself.
Tomorrow's Post - Fred's checking - when he meets the glamorous Sonia.

TACKLING THE TASK.
Keeping in mind the character we have given Sid, he's not the best person to send on a delicate mission. But the Boss had.
So Sid 'drifted casually' over to the table where Joe and Bert were with all the delicate finess of a charging rhinoceros.
"Okay to join you?" he asked sitting down anyway. "How's work at Heathrow?" looking at at Joe and Bert who worked there. He ignored Frank who didn't and who'd been about to leave.
"What's Alf want to know about Heathrow?" Frank asked, deciding to stay.
"Alf? Alf? What's Alf got to do with it?" Sid stammered. The Boss had ordered him not to let them suss - and they had! Straight off!! "It was me what was wondering what stuff goes through besides passengers bags. Stuff like gold or diamonds or - or things like that."
The trouble was Joe was a Cleaner and Bert was a cook in one of the cafes so neither handled that kind of stuff.
"I have to carry all all kinds of valuable stuff on me Coach runs in a special safe that I have right by me so I can guard it," Frank said winking at Joe and Bert. "All kinds of real valuable stuff. Alf interested?"
Frank didn't reckon much on Alf as a Gang Boss.
"I - I just gotta see the Boss about something. I mean Alf."
He dashed back to Alf elated. He, Sid, had got it sorted! The perfect hi-jack!! No getting lost in the sky, no parachutes!!!
He panted out the news. Fred rubbished it straight off having like the idea of a parachute jump. Not that he'd ever done it before, but Alf decided to check. Maybe there was something in it.
Tomorrow's Post - Who's conning who?

lf

TACKLING THE TASK
Fred's ideas for the next Big Tickle.
As your story develops so will your characters. Fred is emerging as the second major character in The Gang, though Sid also has shown unexpected talents. eg valuing the jewellery 'liberated' by Alf.
Fred toured the 3/4 filled Red Lion gathering Empties but as soon as he arrived at Alf's table he sat down. Regulars nudged eachn other - a Gang Conference. Must be about their next Big Tickle, they reckoned.
"Boss, I got this great idea for our Next Big Tickle," Fred announced proudly.
"What's that Fred?" the Boss asked alertly as a Gang Boss should.
"It's from a book I just read. This gang hijacked a plane what's carrying millions in diamonds, parachute out to -----."
"I ain't jumping out o' no plane with only a bit o' cloth to stop me getting every bone in me body broke when I hit the ground Fred Barlow. Not no how not never I ain't. Not never no how."
When Sid wanted to be negative he really was.
Alf turned a slight green too at the thought.
"We can't do that Fred as Sid don't want every body in his body broke," the Boss said firmly.
"An' what if the pilot says 'No'? Or pretends to go not where say? There's no signposts in the sky is there?" Sid thought up other withering ideas.
"But there's Internal Flights ain't there. In this country," Fred snapped, withering back. Then we can make sure he's doing it right by following a road map. And he can land us on a road somewhere too." Fred had rather fancied himself gliding down on a parachute.
"Fred, you check out what Internal Flights there are and if they carry stuff like diamonds. Sid, there's Joe and Bert over there. They both work at Heathrow. Go and check with them what they know about stuff planes carry from there. But don't let 'em suss anything."
Tomorrow's Post - Sid's checking.

TACKLING THE TASK
As you write your story (especially if it becomes a series like 'Alf King) new characters will often be good to help the story along and the main Characters develop. So I Introduce 'Elegant' Eleanor who becomes a major influence on Alf and the Gang.
But the beginning heralded none of that.
Martha and Alf were doing their weekly shop when at the Checkout Alf was despatched to get a tub of butter spread and came back with the 'Light' instead of the 'Original'. Despatched again, holding up the lengthening queue still more Martha waxed eloquent on 'the stupidity of men in general and Alf in particular'.
Which put Eleanor in some difficulty. Alf was so like her late husband in features, build and general amiability. But the Supermarket's dictum was 'Always agree with the customer'. So perforce she had to 'agree' with Martha. Thereafter, feeling she had met a kindred spirit over men and Alf, Martha (and so Alf) always went to Eleanor's Checkout. And Alf always got a sympathetic smile from Eleanor. So he began to 'notice' her.
Then Eleanor noticed that suddenly one day Alf appeared in a new, very smart suit etc. Rather similar to her late husband's Best Suit in fact. And they began spending more freely in their shopping.
She wondered what had happened to their fortunes
Tomorrow's Post - Fred's idea for a BIG TICKLE

TACKLING THE TASK
How can The Boss handle Martha's censorial diatribes?
It was only as Alf and Fred were actually in the comforting crowds of London that they began to feel safe from Flora and her father.
Fred then raised his concerns for the Boss. With such a colossal failure what will that do for his Rep?
"No problem," Alf said with the easy confidence of being in a familiar situation. "Everything worked according to Plan till we got the safe open - and found it only had 20 quid in it. So being kind we left the Colonel a tenner and took the other. Tony the Spike had got it wrong."
"Can I use that yarn with Myrtle too?" enquired Fred.
"You've got to," emphasised The Boss.
"And - um - what about Flora?" Fred's greater worry.
"All she was on about was her Cause. Nothing about anything else that happened. AT ALL!" with emphasis.
Fred sighed with relief.
The Boss had solved it all!
Tomorrow's Post - Introducing 'Elegant Eleanor'.

TACKLING THE TASK
Is Fred safe from Flora?
It wasn't till they were miles on the London side of Lowestoft that Fred began to feel safe. The Boss had tried to calm his panic once they were heading away from Castle McTavish but when a helicopter passed overhead from Lowestoft direction both panicked till it was well past.
Meanwhile, still with a throbbing head, sipping a strong coffee the Colonel glowered at Flora.
"I've a mind ta take ma horsewhip and give that Ponsonby a thrashing on the footsteps of that sassenach Hoose o' Commons," he growled.
"You'd have to get past Fred first, And remember the size of his muscles (thinking of them herself) and the way he stood up to all those Gangs of THEMS who tried to attack Clarence because of his Causes."
She smiled the smile of a predatory tigress.
"I shall write to Mr. Fred Barlow, c/o Mr. C. Ponsonby MP at both Clarence's home address and the House of Commons."
Her predatory smile deepened.
"I'm not going to let him and his Civil Service prospects, with me behind him, get away from me."
The Colonel now smiled too.
It now seemed certain after all, with Flora being so like her mother, that Fred's fate was sealed and so Flora would be moving to London after all. Greatly to the benefit of his own finances.
Tomorrow's Post - How will the Boss face Martha's usual censorious diatribes after another failure?

TACKLING THE TASK
A Fate Worse Than Death?
Alf aka Clarence Ponsonby MP (just for a little longer) crept hand-in-hand along the landing having successfully negotiated the two creaky stairs towards the Colonel's room where he was still very noisily asleep from the effects of Fred's cocktails and 4 Mickey Finns (knockout drops). Outside the Colonel's door they gave each other a thumbs-up. Fred was also happily confident he was safe from the attentions of an over-amorous Flora as she must be as sound asleep (though less noisily) as her father from the effects of a large sherry plus 1 Mickey Finn.
He was unaware she was 'saving it for them to share 'afterwards' so was still watchfully awake.
As Alf crept into the Colonel's room for the keys with Fred waiting outside, Flora's door opened. She peered out - to see Fred obviously checking her father was asleep before coming to her room for their ASSIGNATION!!
She crept up to him, took his hand - and pulled him towards her room! Numbly he nervelessly went to a FATE WORSE THAN DEATH he felt. But also nobly, sacrificing himself so the Boss could get the Colonel's keys and so be able to complete their Tickle.
With only two more steps to go - he heard the sweetest sound in the entire Universe.
"Clarence Ponsonby ye thieving sassenach hooligan! What ye doing with ma keys in your hand!"
The Colonel's roar of fury was followed by the roar of his 'ruddy great gun'!
Alf came flying out of the room followed by 3 more shots.
"Come back and let me shoot ye!"
Alf declined his invitation by fleeing to the stairs.
Erupting out his room, holding his throbbing head with one hand, firing more shots, shattering ornaments, lights and toppling the bear over but missing Alf, the Colonel saw Fred obviously just about to enter his daughter's room with mischievious intent (rather than it being the other way round) and fired his automatic till it clicked on 'empty'. Every shot missed as Fred followed the Boss's fleeing form.
"I've rescued you from that foul Fred, Flora," the Colonel assured her, gathering her in his arms.
She wrenched herself free.
"You didn't rescue ME from HIM," she stormed. "You rescued HIM from ME!!!"
Tomorrow's Post - Is Fred now safe?

TACKLING THE TASK
Another Revised Plan
Keeping Alf aka Clarence MP in character in wildly changing circumstances
The Colonel is flaked out - but with the safe keys and a 'ruddy great gun' (as described by Alf) by him, Flora has gone to her room with a large (laced) sherry but enticing Fred to a midnight (or earlier) Assignation.
Fred is desperate to do a runner almost entirely because of dread of Flora - but now also mindful that he is Engaged to Myrtle his Colleague Bar Person (explanation in a later Post).
Alf is just as desperate that they (or rather Fred) get the safe keys, crack the safe and THEN do the runner.
Fred refuses his assigned part - "Not'cos I'm scared of the Colonel and his 'ruddy great gun' - well not much anyway but I'M NOT RISKING ANYTHING WITH THAT FLORA," stated with the utmost earnestness.
Finally they decide to go together.
Holding hands like two scared but daring children, they creep up the stairs.
Tomorrow's Post - A Fate Worse Than Death?

TACKLING THE TASK
Stage 2 of the Plan
All three of our main characters were staring at our fourth - Flora, Fred and Alf King aka Clarence MP were staring at the Colonel, now slumped deep in his commodious armchair, snores reverberating round the room, amazed at the effects of Fred's cocktail.
But then, Fred had never served a cocktail like that - which also had 4 Mickey Finn knockout drops in it.
"I think Fred and me had better see about getting the Colonel up to his room, Flora," suggested Clarence. Flora concurred. "An' being knocked out as he is maybe I'd better look after the house an' safe keys ternight." Even though he had Fred's backing Flora demurred.
"Father would never forgive me if they weren't on his bedside table when he wakes up."
They succeeded finally. The Colonel's lengthy now legless form was not easy to manhandle up the stairs. Alf quickly outlined a Revised Plan.
"Would you like a drink Flora?" Fred asked dupliciously.
"Are you wanting to get me tiddly so you can have your wicked way with me?" she asked him archly moving over to him slinkily to stand close to him to stroke his lapel. "But why not? A large one please."
Fred was appalled at such brazen hussyness!
"I'll just lock up my jewels first."
Alf and Fred gazed entranced at the contents of the safe! So much so that Fred hadn't even laced her sherry before she turned round.
"Flora did the Colonel shoot this tiger right there?" pointing to a hole in the tiger-skin mat.
"No, that's only a moth hole," she said coming over. "In fact it's not even a real tiger-skin at all. He bought it in a car boot sale in Lowestoft. a year ago."
Fred had completed his task, Flora picked up the glass, safe keys in her other hand. "I'll have it upstairs Fred" She looked at him archly. "And I just know that if you heard the slightest sound during the night that you thought MIGHT be a burglar, you'd come STRAIGHT to my room to make sure I was alright. Mine's next door but one to yours, the one with a rose on the door."
As she was about to go through the door she turned, blew him a kiss and wiggled her fingers at him.
Never had Fred seen a more blatent invitation to a midnight Assignation!! Not even on the tele.
"Boss! Let's go!! Now!!!" Fred pleaded. "She forgot to lock the front door so we can scarper dead easy."
Tomorrow's Post - Another Revised Plan.
(For mor information about the Alf King gangster series visit ericbradybooks.co.uk. Available from Lulu.com and Amazon(

TACKLING THE TASK
Fred's Mickey Finns (knockout drops)
It was after dinner in Castle McTavish and our major characters were gathered in the lounge.
Flora, sitting close by Fred, was, she thought, mightily impressing him with her amorous advances mistaking his petrified terror for stunned admiration.
Alf aka Clarence MP was gearing himself up for his mental Starting Gun.
The Colonel was surveying them benignly certain that either Fred or Clarence(he didn't mind which) would soon be taking Flora off his hands down to London greatly to the benefit of his finances.
'Bang!' went Alf's mental Starting Gun.
"Fred. Why not make one of your Special Cocktails for the Colonel?" he suggested.
Pulled out of his petrified terror by the Call of Duty Fred had to squirm to get free of Flora's proximity.
At the Colonel's well-stocked Bar Fred put splashes of everything into the shaker. Then he sneakily added 3 Mickey Finns, shook the shaker violently and poured the contents into a glass. Unwisely the Colonel downed it in four, being certain that a ssassenach cocktail was bound to be inferior.
Unseen he felt under the impact of the mixture that his eyes shot out of his head 6 yards and the top of his head hit the ceiling before all returning to their accostomed places.
"Dat wosh shome d**k. Have nother," holding out his glass.
Fred took the glass amazed. Usually just one Mickey Finn knocked out a difficult customer so they could be loaded into a vehicle to be conveyed elsewhere.
"I got 'ead o' h'iron I 'ave. H'abslute 'ead o' h'iron," the Colonel mumbled as Fred mixed another - this time plus 4 Mickey Finns.
The Colonel did take this one slower - in 6 gulps.
The 6 having gone down, his glass was dropped and his snores reverberated around the room.
"Goodness! I've never seen any drink have that effect on him! Fred. Your cocktails are as strong as your physique," admiration dripping from every syllable.
Tomorrow's Post - Stage 2 of The Plan.