All Parts of Me

I like this. 😊
When things become overwhelming and too much all at once, do one thing. Whatever it is, a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing. ✅

To my dear dad 💗

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. What if life gives you sour grapes, what then?

Life can be beautiful, sweet, and delightful, it can also be hard, sour, and frightful.

To be with what is, may be an uncomfortable chair to sit in and yet, it’s where the heart has space to shed its load and where the next step shows itself.

This is where I find myself now, doing my best to be with what is, honouring and making sense of what has been and laying myself open to what is to come.

Since my dear mum died last September 2023 and with so much that’s happened since then, some very painful and upsetting circumstances, it saddens me to sit with the truth that my dad has now passed away, on Wednesday just gone, just 8 months and 5 days after.

Lemons I ask? More like rotten eggs!
Still, here I am, or here we are, for it is not just me, it is us, all three, my two brothers and me.
I care, I worry, and I fret, that I do, for I know that there is a lot to do and a lot to go through.
However, I also trust, I have faith and I pray, for love, support and help along the way.

With the balance of work, good people around me and a sense of doing what needs to be done.
I lay open to the darkness and the tears, the heartache, and the fears, whilst also believing in the certainty, that through the rain I will also see the sun.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but the lemonade has gone flat, so let’s leave that where it’s at.
Instead, I look into my heart and let it bleed, cry out and feel, for it is there that I will find the strength, the courage and the will to heal.

Dear dad, may you find some peace, some rest, and joy,
The innocence and lightness that you once felt as a boy.
May you be happy once more with Tania your love,
And shine your love and light on us all, from above.

My heart hurts right now, for it’s all so sad,
I miss you mum, and now you dad.
I know it’s best and it will all be okay,
But right now, it’s tough, to face just one day.

From where you are, hold us in your hands and hearts,
Help us please, to all to make new starts.
As I sit in this chair, to grieve and remember you dad,
I recall some of the simplest and happiest times we had.

May you go in peace and be with mum again,
It’s what you yearned for, no more heartache and strain.
When life gives you lemons, what is there to do?
Sit in this chair and be with what’s true for you.

God Bless you dad and rest in peace and joy, 🙏❤🙏
Octavius George Requena xx

Doing this just now on Canva has been like being a child again. 💁‍♀️Resisting the need for it to be perfect and have the lines 🎨 the same etc has been weird and funny, all at the same time.

Have a FUN FRIDAY everyone, even if the conditions aren't right, if you've coloured outside the lines and your letters aren't straight. It doesn't matter, 🙆‍♂️ for fun has no rules and there is no right way.
It's just fun, to be enjoyed. 😊✅

For loved ones lost. 🙏

I just found this lovely poem and thought I would share it. I didn't even know I had it. 😊🤷‍♀️

I heard something today that struck a chord with me. It was to do with getting overwhelmed and thinking too far ahead. When we do this our worries or apprehensions become bigger and more powerful. So much so that it can feel debilitating and overwhelming. 🙃

Instead of taking it one thing at a time, we can see the mountain⛰️getting bigger and bigger and freeze. Freeze to the point where anxiety kicks in and panic takes over and then, we stop altogether and nothing gets done. 🙇‍♀️ Therefore, we not only halt proceedings in the day that we're in and ruin our capacity for joy, peace and fun for that day, we also start doing this for tomorrow, adding even more fuel to the fire🔥that we've just lit.

Below is a beautiful saying taken from one of the oldest and perhaps wisest of books 📖from way back when. It seems that all those years ago, they knew a thing or two. ✅

'Keep it in the day', is something someone told me years ago which also expresses this. Also, the hymn, 🎹 'one day at a time sweet Jesus'. 🙏❤

Yin Yang ☯️

Yin: feminine, cold and wet. Yin problems tend to be ones of deficiency and usually involve the interior.

Yang: masculine, hot and dry. Yang problems tend to be ones if excess and generally involve the exterior.

Finding ones own balance is key🔑

Qigong Poem

My conditioning tells me that I must get it right, not wrong.
But there’s one place this doesn’t matter, when I’m practising Qigong.

I came across this art form many years ago,
For greater health, deeper wisdom and to learn to let go.

Now, as time has passed, I practice and I teach it too,
To individuals, groups, and corporates, to people just like you.

If you’re seeking better health, more balance and longevity,
When you’re ready and you choose to, just DM me.

DM me here to find out more about Qigong, in person and online.

https://allpartsofme.com/

Drugs versus Medication 💊💉

I have been watching some very interesting programmes about prescribed medication and the effects on so many people, particularly in the US, although not unique to them as it’s very likely happening everywhere. ✅

These programmes are based on a true story, albeit that some parts have been altered, mainly to protect those affected. Many people have lost loved ones, husbands, wives, sons, and daughters and more besides. When these prescribed medications become an addiction for people, because in their essence they ARE addictive by nature, they not only affect the addict, but they also affect the family and all those around that person. It becomes a disease that affects one and all. 🌏

Let me say that I personally do not condone taking drugs to begin with, but this epidemic caused by over prescribing what is deemed to be helpful, healthy, and acceptable drugs, masked by the label ‘medication’, in some cases couldn’t be further from the truth. 🤷‍♀️

We’re living in a world where many people want a quick fix and a pill for everything. Of course, conventional medicine can be great and has its place in helping humans to heal, but what about the magnificence of our own bodies, the machines that we operate from every day. What about nature 🌳 and all things natural and purer? I do believe that it must be a balance of the two and still we are very far behind in this way of thinking and operating. 🤔

One size does not fit all, this includes medicine, most definitely. When you see a doctor from the western world, they generally prescribe a tablet or medicine that is handed out to many people in the same way. When you see a practitioner from the Eastern world you are treated as an individual, with your own unique needs. Therein lies the difference. ⭐️

Again though, not all alternative/complementary practitioners are good and nor do they always do a good job, this is also true. It comes back once again to listening to oneself and one’s body and going with what is true for you. This is so important when it comes to your health, otherwise you ignore the healing abilities of your own body, the power of your own mind and the truth of your own heart. ❤️

The programmes I’ve been watching 💻 are about OxyContin. When I first bring this up on Google, here is what it says: OxyContin, a trade name for the narcotic oxycodone hydrochloride, is a painkiller available in the United States only by prescription. OxyContin is legitimately prescribed for relief of moderate to severe pain resulting from injuries, bursitis, neuralgia, arthritis, and cancer.

In these programmes it shows how this is how it started and then it all went mad, with doctors 🩺🧑‍⚕️ prescribing the tablet in higher and higher doses and for everything, everything from a mild headache to cancer and other more serious diseases. Why? The lure of money, profits and more and more gains, for the organisations themselves, the salespeople and also the doctors who were also lured into the promise of profit over health and people’s wellbeing.

Many people have died and are dying from this, even people in my opinion on anti-depressants for many years, without any real change, or certainly little, ongoing improvement. This much I can say from personal experience. If I had remained on prescribed medications, plural, as it wasn’t just one tablet years ago, then I would either not be here today, or I’d be here in a very numb, broken, and nonfunctional state, most of the time. Thankfully I had the courage to walk away from ‘the system’ and the courage of my convictions to do life in a different way. I made that choice, and I followed through on it. 👏

Once again, I am not advocating that anyone should come off prescribed medication, for that can be very dangerous and if you decide to do so, you should do so with medical advice and support. They are chemicals after all. However, do listen to your own body, your own heart, and your own intuition. Just because someone else tells you this and that is best for you, it may not be so and if you get a strong pull in your heart and other sensations in your body that something is not quite right, please take heed. The body never lies. This I know first hand and I am so very grateful to myself for listening when I did and for choosing a different path. Was it easy? NO, it was not. Was it without challenges? Most certainly not. Has it been better for me? Most definitely, YES. In my case, has it saved my life? Potentially, YES, I think so. 🫶

There are such things as natural highs, e.g. Mother Nature herself, the trees, the birds, and the bees. The sun, ☀️ the moon and even the rain. The earth and all of nature, the flowers, the colours and all the goodness that’s around us. Look up to the sky and feel the expanse of nature and life itself.

Movement, one of the best medicines there is. I’m not necessarily talking about hitting it hard in the gym etc, but Tai Chi, Qigong,☯️Yoga, walking, dancing and everyday movement. Of course, there is also the gym, group sports and more besides.

A balance ⚖️ of some of these is also important, so that you work on the internal body as well as the external body. ‘Patience’, as Mr. Miyagi would say in the Karate Kid films. Instead of a quick fix, in whatever form that comes, how about finding more natural and healthy ways, to heal and improve whatever it is that isn’t working so well, in your mind, your life and your body.

Drug dealers come in different forms. Think about it! 🤗

A film that expresses what I’ve been talking about very well, is the ‘Dallas Buyer’s Club’ and the programmes that I’ve been watching are, ‘Dopesick’ and ‘Painkiller’.

Thanks to Christina, Victoria Craft, for her photo on Unsplash. 🙏

When I entered this world, I was born on a rock,
A place with Macaques, ships, and a dock.
My memories when young, are of the sea and the beach,
With plenty of fun and friendship, all within easy reach.

I loved those times, they were light and free,
This place touched my heart, it meant a great deal to me.
My family was at ease, perhaps in the best place,
The sea, the sun, and the sand, offering much needed space.

Getting there and back was an adventure to behold,
Perhaps one day, a story to be told.
Suffice to say, the rock beckons me still,
When I see it, my soul it does fulfil.

As time has gone by, many things have changed,
Family members have died and from others I am estranged.
Friends are still there, as are fond memories in my mind.
Forever in my heart and ready to rewind.

The next time I visit, will very be different for sure,
When I feel sad and upset, myself, I will need to reassure.
Although others have left, which may well cause a shock,
My ancestors and loved ones will be with me, on the rock.

Being or becoming an orphan

I was talking to a friend at the weekend and the matter of being or becoming an orphan came up. I’ve been curious about this for a while. I always thought that being an orphan was a term associated to children and younger people who have lost both parents early on in life. It never occurred to me that this term could and would, also be used when we’re older. It seemed odd to me to hear it expressed in this way and it still does to be honest. The latter doesn’t seem right somehow.

My main question around this matter is, how can we compare a child whose lost their parents in childhood or early in life, to someone who’s lost both parents when they’re much older? It doesn’t seem a fair comparison to me, or an equal one.

Today I investigated this a bit more and the dictionary does indeed say, or Mrs Google does anyway, ‘An orphan is someone who has lost both parents. Usually, we think of sad little children when we think of orphans, but anyone whose parents have both died is an orphan.’

Other definitions online are, ‘A child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted.’ Also, ‘One that lacks support, supervision, or care.’

Some films about orphans are, Oliver, The Book Thief, Jungle Book and Bambi.

Although the definition and meaning give to this word is in fact true for small children and older ones too, I still have a challenge accepting that this is the same. How can a person who has been blessed to have their parents around for many years, use the word ‘orphan’ in the same way as a small child or young person? One who has been deprived of their parents or their primary care givers, from a tender age, so young and vulnerable.

Something for me to ponder on some more. 🤔

I guess that the word can be associated with both sets of people and all age groups. Then, it’s everyone’s personal opinion or point of view, whether they can be the same or not. At the very least, they will likely share similarities in their thoughts and feelings.

Do you have any thoughts on this matter?

I love this. I saw a shorter version the other day with just the part about peace. Today I've found this longer version which captures everything and so beautifully. 🙏🥰

Peace Above Me
Peace Below Me
Peace Before Me
Peace Behind Me
Peace to my Left
Peace to my Right
Peace in Me
Peace in my Surroundings
Peace to All
Peace to the Universe

Love Above Me
Love Below Me
Love Before Me
Love Behind Me
Love to my Left
Love to my Right
Love in Me
Love in my Surroundings
Love to All
Love to the Universe

Light Above Me
Light Below Me
Light Before Me
Light Behind Me
Light to my Left
Light to my Right
Light in Me
Light in my Surroundings
Light to All
Light to the Universe

Om Shanti Om Shanti Om Shanti Om

What about men, where are they in all of this?

A strange title perhaps, and really, not so. This week on the television there were two programmes that caught my eye and once I tuned in, my ears were attentive to what was being said and expressed.

Of course, we all need time and space to talk and share and to find our place in the world, at any time in our lives. However, these programmes were focused on men and how their place in the world has changed, the vulnerability and uncertainties they can feel and their need to be able to, and in some cases to learn how to talk and share what’s inside their hearts and minds.

I was curious in the first place and then I really listened and paid attention. I have two brothers and a father, a nephew and some male friends and associates, most of us know or have, at least one male figure in our lives, so this isn’t just for men.

One programme was in two parts over two evenings and hosted by the actor Danny Dyer. He’s not one my favourites so I was a bit hesitant to watch it, especially as there’s swearing in nearly every sentence, but that’s just his way and his language, no harm in it. That said, I found it to be raw, honest, interesting, and insightful. Thought provoking really.

With male su***de on the rise, these programmes are very important, to create awareness and hopefully make us all stop and think a bit more. Men coming together to share how they can feel, what’s important to them, to honour their differences and find new and/or better ways to be in the world.

Here are the details for this programme: Danny Dyer and ‘How to be a man’ on Channel 4. You can watch it on catch up. It’s in two parts and approx. 90 minutes each part.
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/danny-dyer-how-to-be-a-man

The second programme was about a small syndicate of men from the North of England who came together over a horse that they invested in. Their love of horse racing and seeing their horse progress, or not also brought them together for many other reasons. The horse was the original focal point and really, an excuse for them to share time and energy together, to get to know each other better and to be there for one another, and they were, in every sense.

They showed each other love and care, they spent time with each other and noticed if one or more of them was slipping into themselves or if something was wrong. They laughed, cried, and talked, and what’s more, they really listened to each other. The horse came first and their friendship and their lifeline to and for each other grew from there. I don’t think this was the main aim of this programme, but it certainly expressed how important it has been and it is, for these men to have this group to rely on and to be with. The power of connection, sharing, talking, and listening. Something that we all need, and many men need it too.

The details for this programme are: ‘It’s Showtime’, on ITV catch up.
https://www.itv.com/watch/its-showtime/10a4768/10a4768a0001

If you work with men in any way, or if you’re interested to find out more, I encourage you to watch either one, or both programmes. I took a great deal from them; I think many women will as well.

Grief, what it’s taught me & is teaching me.

I’ve found it interesting during my own experiences, that sadness and upset can cloud everything. It can feel like nothing will ever make your heart sing again, that you might never smile, not even a little. Then when you do, you question it, ‘should I be smiling and laughing, is this allowed, is this right?’ and so on.

In my opinion and certainly in my case, I know that my mum would not want me to be down and forlorn for ever and a day and nor would I for that matter. I think that in most situations, the person who has passed away would want those who are mourning and grieving to find space and time to be happy again. To feel joy in their life and in their heart. To smile and laugh and to enjoy the many wonders and blessings that life can offer.

Where there is darkness there is sure to be light, it’s a given, it’s inevitable. The Yin and The Yang. At times like these though, we need to make space and allow some light in. I have certainly found this to be true, otherwise, just like the English weather lately with so much rain, wind, and darkness, it can consume you and drown you, if you let it.

Some of the ways I’ve let some light into my dark days, and I still do, is to watch something funny on You Tube. There is SO much on there that if you choose it and you go and get it, you will always find what you need. Something indeed to be grateful for. I’ve started watching Peter Kay and oh boy is he funny. I was never into his humour years ago and now, it’s a different story, he has me in stitches laughing. I also love Billy Connolly and Robin Williams; they are always good for a good laugh. These are just a few of my favourites and those I go to when I need and want to. As they say, laughter is the best medicine, or one of the best anyway. It is such a good release.

Tears are also necessary and a good release, and they absolutely need to be shed. Once that river runs dry though or it’s cried enough for a while, it’s time to build a dam around it until the next time the flow begins. It’s time to balance that energy with its opposite, the flow of laughter, a lighter energy to calm things down a little and lift your heart up.

Here’s a little something for you to watch which is incredibly sweet, innocent, and funny. I saw it a few days ago and I love it. Children have this innate and innocent way of just being, of showing who and how they are in any given moment. This is priceless. If your heart is aching right now for whatever reason, allow yourself to balance that energy with a bit of a smile, a giggle or even a good laugh, and enjoy. Be that child and be in this moment. It’s ok to let some joy in.

Click on this link to watch this short video, you’ll need the volume on.
https://youtube.com/shorts/JCkF3bvQMPw?si=aac8B1sw4sTuCYB1

Little girl has entire argument without saying a word This little girl’s mom said she’s “arguing before she can even talk” 😂❤️ Check us out on:Website - www.localish.comFace...

Grief & Life lessons from the past 7 months 🙏

Well, if someone would have told me all of this could happen in such a short time, I wouldn’t have believed it.

My dear mum died mid-September last year, quite suddenly all things considered. During this time and as you can imagine, emotions were strained & fraught, they were here, there & everywhere. Shock was the first thing & then when that starts to unravel, boy oh boy, it’s a plethora of thoughts, feelings & emotions. Often, they come out of nowhere, unexpected & uninvited.

My dad was in deep shock & slid into a deep depression that was very hard to manage, as well as all the administration & organising that needed to be done. All under certain time restraints & not to mention organising a service for my mum, tuning into what I thought she would have liked, wanting to do a good job & putting it all together.

No sooner had we had my mum’s service, which my dad couldn’t attend, in came the paramedics to see to him, wondering if we were going to have a second, sudden passing. This does indeed happen at these times. Then came organising medication & help for him, navigating all of that, as well as family disputes & the division of jobs, which has often been topsy turvy & imbalanced. It’s like everyone’s finding their place, learning about themselves in these situations & all while feeling the loss of the person who’s left. It’s a crazy time.

This all continued with times of great stress, chaos & disorder & outbursts of anger & upset. So much to do & learn & no time to really feel what was going on inside, nor honour my feelings towards my mum. It’s been a rollercoaster. On top of this, driving to & fro, which in itself takes up energy & exhausts the mind & body, especially knowing that at the end of my journey, the one person I always loved to see at the door first & foremost, was no longer present & would not appear, no matter how much I willed it to be so. She was gone.

Wait for it! Then came a massive bombshell which landed like a dead weight in my heart. My younger brother who was & is, the furthest distance away that you could imagine, was in hospital with an unexpected, unknown infection, being told that he may never walk again, totally immobilised from the waist down. My goodness, that was it, the last straw that could have broken the camel’s back. It very nearly did mine.

Fast forward & he is back home, after approx. 2.5 months in hospital. He’s beginning to walk more & more on his own, albeit progressing slowly, but regularly, with greater illumination on the path ahead of him. My goodness, what a shock for him & for me too. It was like someone was pressing hard on my heart, squeezing it harder & harder, until the juice inside of it, any joy that was left, was disappearing.

When your backs against the wall, what do you do? When you’re trying to navigate your way through a fog, to break new ground that is unfamiliar to you, how do you do it? When it feels like there’s no-one holding you or helping you, to deal with the overwhelming emotions that can bury you if you let them, how do you manage that? Well, I have no shame & no problem in sharing that I have had a go at whatever felt right for me. Anything & everything that would help me to express & release what was going on inside. Whatever could help lift me up & help me step into a new day.

Here are some of the things I’ve leant into:

I’ve taken the Cruse bereavement course that’s free at anytime after losing a loved one. Six sessions if you need & want them, either online or face to face if available. This was a great help to me in navigating my way through some very deep routed & uncomfortable thoughts & feelings. It helped me to realise new boundaries, to exercise greater self-care & kindness towards myself & more understanding of what was going on, for me & for others involved.

I’ve called the Samaritans when there’s been no-one to talk to or to listen, especially when I’ve felt the need to talk to someone who wasn’t connected in any way. Someone with no other agenda but to listen to me & hear what I was sharing. This was a blessing & a great, practical help too.

Letting go of posting on social media & engaging in things that had to take a back seat, including building business & creating new things that would over stretch me, has been a God send. It’s given me permission to stop & deal with the important matters that were ahead of me, as well as listen to my heart & hear what it needed for me during this very stressful & upsetting time.

Disengaging from anything that took more out of me than what I had at the time, unplugging if you like from any extras, even creating more abundance, social outlets etc, has all been a support for me, without me even realising it at the time.

Instead of building anything new & reading about positivity & growth, etc, etc, watching T.V. & talking to good people around me has been a gift. Easy & simple, helping me keep myself intact & somewhat centred throughout the maze of chaos & upset. The heightened charge of getting through what had to be done on a daily basis & responding to what was thrown up, inside & out, with as much energy as I could muster, was somewhat diluted & softened by taking my finger off the pulse & watching films, kicking back & retreating instead. I’ve just gone along with it, as anything more would have been too much. It would have been like an elastic band that was so far stretched, the only thing left for it was to spring back & slap me hard, leaving me battered & bruised. I have indeed felt like that many a time but lessening the strain & the pain by having moments of the mundane in my every day experiences has been a welcome balance. The numbness of this at times has been a place to rest, to breathe & let go a little. To be present & feel.

Exercise, now this is something that I have always done throughout & will always do. Movement most certainly is medicine. When my heart’s been wired up so tight that I wasn’t sure if I could feel the next breath, or if I could step into the next moment without constantly being in a state of fight or flight, of heightened anticipation that something awful was going to happen, moving my body has most definitely been a release. It’s been a welcome friend & a strong support, not just to my body, but also to my mind, my heart, all my organs & to my spirit.

Perhaps most importantly, I’ve prayed & talked to God, to spirit & to my mum. I’ve opened myself, to the higher in me & to God. I’ve cried out, yelled out & asked for help, for me & for all those in need that I love & care about. Sometimes I had no idea what I was doing, if I was doing it right & if anyone was actually listening, yet in my heart of hearts, I trusted & had faith. I believed that answers would come, that if I kept at it my voice would be heard. My connection to God & something higher is stronger than ever & I’m practicing greater communication every day.

I also asked for help from others, others who also pray & connect with the higher. I talked to supportive family members & laid myself open & vulnerable to those who knew what I was experiencing, to receive what I needed & I took it. When there’s nothing left but to bow your head down & open your heart to ask for help, the help comes. Good neighbours, kind strangers, animals that offer their unconditional love without uttering a single word & more besides. The help comes & the prayers begin to be answered.
I hope this helps someone, today & perhaps tomorrow.

The road through grief can be extremely challenging & hard on your heart, your body, mind & spirit. Whatever you need, acknowledge it & take whatever help is given & available. Give it all a go & see what works for you. If that one thing doesn’t, then look for & try something else. Keep going, one day & one thing at a time. If you do your best, God will certainly do the rest. 🙏

❤❤