Eden's Trust

They walk among you every day.

The silent grievers.

It’s easy to miss them for they’ve learned how to mask their true pain.

You may think you are supporting them when you ask “How are you doing?”

But mostly they tell you what you want to hear:
“I’m doing ok.”
“Hanging in there.”
“I’m taking it one day at a time.”

But if they had permission to be honest they’d probably tell you truth:
“Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe under the weight of all this grief.”
“I don’t understand how the world can just keep moving on.”
“I feel completely alone.”

You nod your head in sympathy and say “Let me know if you need anything.”

And again they tell you what you want to hear:
“Ok. Thanks.”
“That’s so kind. Thank you.”
“I will.”

But if they had permission to be honest they’d probably tell you truth:
“I promise you I won’t let you know if I need anything.”
“It’s all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I don’t know what I need. I don’t have the energy to reach out. So, I won’t.
“There’s no way I will. I don’t want to seem weak.”

Maybe you give them a hug and you whisper “I wish I could make it better for you” before you walk away.

And they smile and whisper back what you want to hear:
“Thank you.”
“That means a lot.”
“I appreciate you.”

But if they had permission to be honest they’d probably tell you truth:
“No one can make it better but you could sit with me in my messy grief for a while longer.”
“I don’t want someone to make it better. I want someone to let me talk about how much it really hurts.”
“Then please reach out more. Talk about my loved one. Support me even when I can’t ask for it.”

And later that night you think about them as you capture a quiet still moment in your evening and your heart aches because you know they are struggling.

You hope they know how much you truly care about them.

You pick up your phone and think about reaching out to them.

But then you doubt yourself.

You don’t want to make them feel worse.
You don’t want to remind them of their pain if they are having a good night.
You don’t really know what to say.

And so you put down your phone and trust that they will reach out to you if they need you.

But they probably won’t.

Because we don’t give them enough permission to be real with their grief.

And so they continue to walk among us.

Grieving.

In silence.
*****

I can be among crowds of people on the busiest of days yet still feel so alone. My heart will always have that huge void that can only be filled by my child.

Yes, my child left this earth. But my child lives on in the center of my heart. I will continue to fiercely love my child forevermore.

So so true 💔💔💔

🌹❤️💫

It’s impossible to imagine until it happens to you. Just a split second can change a life forever. And, that’s exactly what happens with child loss.

Remembering our Richard Clark, today and always. Shine bright darling and let your mum and dad know they are loved as you are loved 💔❤️💔

NOBODY TOLD ME

Nobody told me,
how often I would see your face,
then blink and see another instead.

Nobody told me,
that trying to recall the exact sound of your laugh,
would keep me awake at night.

Nobody told me,
that I would reach for my phone so often,
to heartbreakingly put it back down again.

Nobody told me,
that you were my moon and my sun,
my reason and my way,
my morning and my night.

Nobody told me,
that your life would feel like a movie I made up in my head,
that I would seek out others who had seen it too,
just to feel you there for a moment.

Nobody told me that food would lose taste,
that air would lack oxygen,
that I would miss you,
this much.

I miss you,
this much.
Nobody told me.

Donna Ashworth

When a child leaves this earth part of a parent leaves, too. It’s impossible to explain to another what it’s like to live with a large part of your heart missing.

Yup...
My Garden of Grief

💔💔

Child loss changes so much about us. It even changes our thinking. Our child is now situated in the forefront of our minds — all the time. We have a constant awareness that our child’s physical presence is no longer here. BUT, our child remains ever present in our thoughts, always keeping that child near. That’s just how strong the love bond is between parent and child.

I feel the grief
strapped to my chest
heavy and unrelenting today,
yet invisible to those around me.

I feel the grief
trapped behind my eyes
overflowing and insistent today,
yet invisible to those around me.

I feel the grief
packed into my muscles
taut with tension today,
yet invisible to those around me.

I feel the grief,
yet it’s invisible to those around me.
It’s invisible to everyone but me.

-Liz Newman

I hope to see many of you here so we can finally meet. Elli (Eden’s mum) 💧🩵💧

Honestly, it's too hard to even imagine never seeing your child again. That's why so many parents cling to the hope that there will be a time when they see their child again. We hope. We pray. We wait.

Free Online Discussion: Grief & Shadow Work with Nancy Levin Join us for this free session where we're going to explore the limiting shadow beliefs that keep us from fully experiencing grief as well as hinder us from exploring our healing.

The first thought every morning is of the child who is no longer here. With an aching heart every parent looks upward and whispers “I love you” over and over again until those words become a heavenly echo.

A child never becomes “just a memory.” A child lives on forever in a parent’s heart.

Free video: Understanding Loss In this FREE video, David Kessler reveals the basic truths about grief to remember with more love than pain. Our society gives us confusing messages about grief and often tells us that we are not grieving correctly.

I am doing fine
I said I’m, doing good
Then I turned my head and cried.

I smiled and told my eyes to sparkle
Then I turned my head and cried.

I told a joke and laughed heartily
Then I turned my head and cried.

I offered comfort and encouragement
Then I turned my head and cried.

I did what has to be done
Then I turned my head and cried.
Then I turned my head and cried.
And felt my broken heart.

by, Charlotte Roberts
TFC/Montgomery

Art by Clouded Dreams on Etsy
Clouded Dreams Studio