Aurelia Sleigh

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The reality of Addiction

I NEED To Get High,©
I am not your child, or spouse, or friend. I’ve changed. I don’t belong to you any more. I don’t care about you. Not in the way you want me too. I care about getting high. I WANT to get high. I will do ANYTHING to get high. I LOVE getting high. I NEED to get high.. and I will step over you to do it. When I look at you, I don’t see YOU.
I see a means to an end. You have money. I want it. End of story. I don’t care if you can’t pay the rent. I don’t care if you need groceries. I don’t care if you promised you wouldn’t give me money again. I don’t care if you lie to Dad. I don’t care if you’re broke. Sell your rings, take a loan, sell your electronics, max out your credit cards, borrow the money from someone else, because if you don’t, I will STEAL it. I WILL find a way to get HIGH. You think you can CHANGE me, or SAVE me.

You are WRONG!

Something cold and dead slithers within me. I no longer respond to love or truth. You can CRY all you want. I don’t care. I have no integrity or values. My morals are a thing of the past. I will say anything, do anything, and hurt anyone, to get my next FIX.

Although I may play the game with you, make no mistake. I don’t play it because I LOVE you, I play it because I want my DOPE. I will say what ever you want to hear, I will promise you the world, I will look you in the eyes, and I WILL break your heart. Over and over again. I don’t have a heart any more. I have a HUNGER. It’s calculating and manipulative, and it OWNS me.

In a strange way you’re thankful for this hunger. For when I feel it coming on, I find you, quick! Then when I’ve gotten what I want from you, I leave. You’re anxious without me. You offer to buy my food, or pay my rent. You always GIVE me something.

By now, you’re NEED is almost as great as mine.
I can’t stay SICK without you. You can’t breathe without ME.
You think you’re helping me. You believe you’re making a difference, but what you’re really helping… is my ADDICTION.

I won’t tell you this, but you know it, deep down.
If we keep going like this, one or both of us will die. Me from an overdose, that you paid for, and you from a heart attack, or stroke.
You’ll wait YEARS for me to change, or see the light, and I take full advantage of this.
You keep my secrets and protect my lies. You clean up my messes and bail me out. You love me to the exclusion of EVERYONE else.

You are bitter and resentful. You hide from your friends and isolate. You HATE.
Your world revolves around one thing only… ME.
But will your LOVE ever become greater than your FEAR? Would you be strong enough to reach out for help? Will you learn to say NO? Will you allow me to experience the consequences of my actions? Will you LOVE me enough to feel your own discomfort and stop enabling my addiction?
I lay trapped with within the confines of this cold dark, serpent – addiction, and I am… dying.
- author unknown.

Being able to talk, feel truly listened to, feel safe to share what is going on for you, feeling heard, is such a powerful experience.

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Addiction is a chronic brain condition which causes mental and physical harm.© copyright.
As a person drinks alcohol or takes drugs the brain releases the chemical dopamine which stimulates the 'reward circuits' of the brain. Thus the brain associates drinking alcohol and taking drugs with a pleasurable reward. The brain forms lasting memories associating drugs or alcohol with this reward and so the drug taking and drinking become compulsive. As addiction to alcohol and drugs becomes established, neurochemical changes take place in the brain of the user which affect their self-control and decision making processes.

Addiction to alcohol and drugs has traditionally defined the term 'addiction', however people can also become addicted to certain behaviours such as gambling. These behaviours cause a release of chemicals in the brain as a 'reward', and this is what the brain gets addicted to.

We are all human and these things happen, be kind to yourself 💕

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I wonder how much time we spend focussing on the past, worrying about the furutre, and not being in the here and now ….

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When we feel anxious we often feel out of control. Having awareness of what is in and out of our control can help to reduce anxiety, help us to rationalise our thoughts and feel calmer.

Aurelia Sleigh updated their business hours.

Eating Disorder Awareness Week 2021
Binge Eating Disorder

Eating Disorder AwarenessWeek .... Binge Eating Disorder is real, it causes so much distress and there is little support available. Please do not struggle alone, reach out for support. Feel free to get in touch or visit the Beat website for more information. https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

Binge Eating Disorder

https://youtu.be/ZDAz6JTowxg

YouMightKnowMe For Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2021 we are focussing on an often-misunderstood illness that 1 in 50 of us will experience in our lifetime, binge eating ...

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