Relationship Psychology for Men

Sh£ has many personalities…& the 1 sh£ shows you will depend on how much she adores, respects & values you! ~Coach Vinn

Watch your tongue & never say hurtful things you don’t mean. You cannot take back such words & she’ll never forget it!!!~Coach Vinn

A man who invests heavily in himself has a ‘greater charm’ than a man who ‘neglects himself’ & spends a lot on h£r!~Coach Vinn

5️⃣ REASONS WHY SH£ SHOULD NEVER BE YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS ❌❌❌

Photo: Getty Images

A happy love life unequivocally enhances the quality of a man’s life.

But a happy love life does not mean sh£ must become your ONLY source of happiness… nor must your entire life revolve around h£r.
This is where many m£n seem to get it twisted in their quest for happiness.

In this article, we’ll be broadening our understanding on the negative consequences & costly price you’ll pay in making h£r your only source of happiness.

Let’s dive right in;

1️⃣ You’ll become an emotional mess if you make h£r your only source of happiness;
Wom£n generally experience moods swings due to hormonal changes in their bodies during the various stages of their monthly menstrual cycles…

As a result of this biological occurrence, depending on h£r as your only source of happiness will turn you into an emotional puppet and you’ll be helplessly dragged through all h£r mood swings.

Does a person with unstable moods & emotions qualify to be your ONLY source of happiness??

I sincerely don’t think so…unless you plan on setting yourself up for one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride.

2️⃣ Sh£’ll get Emotionally overburdened & Mentally overwhelmed by your dependence on h£r for happiness;

If sh£ is the only source of your happiness, then you’ll be most likely seeking h£r attention a little harder than usual… and h£r attention or a lack of it will directly equate to your happiness or unhappiness respectively.

You’ll then subconsciously become an attention-seeker and experience intense emotions of jealousy over moments she spends with h£r ordinary friends & even family.

You’ll think & feel she chooses others over you & does not place significant priority on you nor the relationship…

Your neediness & desperation for h£r attention will portray you as a mentally & emotionally draining person to be with.

Relying on h£r as your only source of happiness can subconsciously turn you into a possessive, obsessed, jealous, quarrelsome & nagging boyfriend/husband — a total nightmare to any emotionally healthy woman!

3️⃣ You’ll unintentionally portray an undesirable personality when you make h£r your only source of happiness;

If sh£’s your only source of happiness, then you’re most likely going to avoid healthy conflicts and make h£r have h£r way in the relationship just to ensure there’s minimal friction & peaceful co-existence so that you can enjoy an ample supply of joy.

In a short term, this strategy may seem to work well…but in a long term, sh£‘ll become insidiously dissatisfied & repulsed by your conflict avoidant personality, the lack of a back bone in your character, your person pleasing & subservient attitude, your timidity & inability to stand up for yourself & your overly apologetic nature.

This unintentional undesirable personality you portray will eventually cause her to lose every modicum of oomph, fantasies, respect, passion & interest she once had towards you and the relationship.

4️⃣ You’ll grant h£r a tremendously dangerous amount of power & control over you if sh£’s your only source of happiness;

Relying on h£r as your ONLY source of happiness will grant h£r an astronomical amount of power & control over you…

You’ll be unknowingly empowering h£r with a lethal psychological & emotional weapon with which sh£ can control & man!pulate you.

H£r every wish & words will become your command…and disobedience to your master will result in all hell breaking loose on you.

In a short term, this “happy wife happy life” strategy may seem to work in your favour… but in a long term, sh£’ll increasingly get weary of your passiveness & the master-servant dynamics in the relationship & then subconsciously begin to crave the presence of a Real Man in h£r life…
And God help you if one comes h£r way!!!

5️⃣ You’d miss out on the skills and all the fun leisure activities you could have explored & how much you could be enjoying your life to the fullest;

When you make h£r your only source of happiness, you close yourself to other fulfilling sources of happiness.

A man must have a “healthy”personal life outside his love life.
Why?
Well, because the personal relationship you have with yourself exists independently from your romantic relationship… and as with every relationship, it also requires time, space, attention, adventure, nurturing & love to develop & grow.

When you make your life & happiness to revolve around your partner, you completely abandon & lose your “self” in the process…and the price paid for such abandonment of “self” is costly!

You’re solely responsible for your growth, your personal development & improvement , your mental health & the efficient management of your life’s stressors…as well as ensuring that you live a quality life to the fullest.

Self improvement/ educational programs, spending time with healthy friends, engaging in fun & exciting hobbies to unwind & exploring other decent activities you’re passionate about outside your relationship are great ways to increase your quality of life and that’s why making h£r your only source of happiness will steal a lot from you.

Remember that when the journey of life comes to an end, most people leave highly disappointed by their unrealized potentials & their lack of courage to explore & live their lives to it’s fullest…
Don’t be one of them!

In summary, 5 reasons why sh£ should never be your only source of happiness are;
1️⃣You’ll become an an emotional mess.

2️⃣Sh£’ll get emotionally overburdened & mentally overwhelmed by your dependence on h£r for happiness.

3️⃣You’ll unintentionally portray an undesirable personality when you make h£r your only source of happiness.

4️⃣You’ll grant h£r a tremendously dangerous amount of power & control in the relationship if sh£’s your only source of happiness.

5️⃣You’d miss out on the skills and other fun leisure activities you could have explored and how much you could be living your life to the fullest.

Get in touch if you’re caught up in this web or find yourself burdened & unhappy in your love life and need professional help.

I’ll be glad to hear from you.

Whatsapp or Call; +233242011191

💯% CLIENT CONFIDENTIALITY IS GUARANTEED!!!

Your brother from another mother,
Coach Vinn.
(Certified Men’s Dating & Relationship Coach)

Another Life Changing Testimony from a Happy Client 💙

My Nicknames from Clients; Relationship Prophet, A Guru, A Hero & A Living Legend, A Genius & Blessing to Humanity!!! I’m truly humbled 💙

Another Client’s Testimony 🙏🏻

Client Testimony 1… To God be the Glory! 🙏🏻

The world is too harsh to be a naive & clueless lover…You’ll be targeted, manipulated & exploited!
~Coach Vinn

Sh£ should never be your ONLY source of happiness…
Discover & explore other things you’re passionate about! ~Coach Vinn

They try to control you with silent treatment, breakup threats & no
$£x…
Remain unaffected to disable these tactics!

If h£r lust for money is more powerful than h£r morals, h£r values, h£r humanity & h£r dignity, she’s not a treasure to keep! ~Coach Vinn

Being a good man doesn’t mean kill your inner beast…It awakens to protect you from being taken advantage of!~Coach Vinn

Be around wom£n who want to be around you…& only talk to those who’re equally excited to talk to you! NEVER force interactions!!!Coach Vin

If her priorities in life & her dating visions do not match yours, your every effort to make things work will be in vain!
~Coach Vinn~

Happy Sunday 💙

5️⃣ TERRIBLE RELATIONSHIP ADVICES EVER GIVEN TO M£N ❌❌❌

Photo: Getty Images

Warning; This article is not for the narrow minded nor the faint-hearted!
If you’d rather continue to live a lie to avoid the discomforts of dealing with reality, then stop right here! ⛔️

This article is not for you.

Proceed to read if only you have the courage to deal with the discomforts of having your old beliefs & ideologies on relationships & human nature shaken.
Thank-you.

In this controversial article, we are going to review 5 terrible relationship advices given to m£n and how such counsels have become the very foundations of their misery.

No relationship advice is a one fit all and just because someone remained married for many years to a “Peaceful-Average-Plain-Jane” doesn’t make him a pro at strategies for a successful love life. (Read that again)

Over the years, I have observed that some of the most ineffective relationship counsels are given by the wisest and most intelligent of m£n.

But since love & emotions are not always logical and neuro-scientific studies through brain imaging scans have discovered that “love hits the brain in a powerful way just like co***ne does,” it doesn’t surprise me one bit when all the wisdom in the world seems to fail at deciphering how modern m£n can have a truly fulfilling & successful love life.

There is a Ghanaian adage that says “Wom£n love f00ls”… and then it turns out to be that majority of my clients are highly intelligent, focused & successfully productive m£n who somewhat struggle to comprehend & communicate in the non-logical language of emotions & love.

Relationship advices of most pastors, counsellors & wise m£n seem ineffective in averting the escalating numbers of breakups, separations & divorces.

Based on my personal critical observations, I firmly believe that this is because most of them are unaware about the “secret illogical language of love” and apply the wrong kind of intelligence when handling relationship related issues.

Now, let’s dive right into 5 of the wisest relationship advices given to m£n that have proven time without number to be terrible.

1️⃣ Open up completely to h£r about everything concerning yourself;

This is a terrible advice!

Logically, it’s assumed that if you tell h£r everything about yourself — your strengths, your darkest secrets, your weaknesses, your insecurities, your fears etcetera, it will make h£r love you for who you are!

Unfortunately, this is far from the truth because someway somehow “familiarity rather seems to breed contempt”.

Deeper studies into the philosophy & psychology of human nature reveals that opening up completely about everything concerning you may rather crush h£r idealized version & fantasies of you and can turn her off depending on the intensity of unattractiveness in the information shared.

I have also witnessed with many of my clients how their weaknesses, ugly insecurities & secrets they shared became the very weapons used to manipulate & even blackmail them.

Don’t let any wise person lie to you about opening up completely!
This ideology is the fastest route to becoming a turn off.

The impressions she creates of you directly influences h£r thoughts, emotional investment, physical involvement & respect for you.
This is due to the conditional nature of romantic love.

And so instead of over-communicating in an attempt to seek pity love and unconditional acceptance for your unattractive shortcomings, zip it and work relentlessly to create an alluring charm in your personality and hone your relationship skills.

You must become & remain h£r best option of a man or sit with your fingers crossed and pray sh£ never crosses path with anyone who ticks more columns on h£r boxes because only heaven knows if she’ll find the strength to resist the temptation of the “forbidden fruit”…

2️⃣ Keep her happy at all cost and she will never leave;

This is another lie!
“I did everything possible to always keep h£r happy but she cheated or dumped me…”

Sounds familiar…? I bet it does!

Once upon a time, a good friend of mine propounded the “be the sweetest she can ever find theory.”

He said and I quote, “Whenever I’m dating a g!rl, I make sure I’m overly sweet and keep h£r very happy so that sh£ will never find any other man like me even if things don’t work out.”

He is currently on g!rlfriend number 24 and most of his exes are married.

Last time we spoke, I enquired how his theory was working out for him and he laughed his head off.

In-depth studies into the philosophies of life reveals that “happiness is one big illusion”.

It’s nothing more than a momentarily pleasure and there is no human that can always be happy.
It’s absolutely unrealistic!

Now, many men take the advice of keeping h£r happy at all cost literally and break their backs in an attempt to alter the realities of the ups and downs of life…

They try to keep the ups always up and prevent the downs from happening even as life dishes out a fair dose of both.

These men end up walking on eggshells, jumping through loops, running barefooted on hot coal and become like a person-in-waiting to their partners…all in the name of keeping h£r happy.

In a short term, their partners may feel all fortunate & special to have a man willing to do anything to please them…but in a long term, these wom£n become insidiously repulsed & turned off by such person pleasing & subservient attitude.

It’s impossible to keep h£r happy all the time and wom£n who stay in long term relationships are not in it because they are happy all the time.

Sh£ would be happy to stay if she adores you, admires you, holds you in high esteem, has massive respect for you, is in love with you and envisions a life with you as an exciting, purposeful & intrinsically fulfilling journey.

3️⃣ Always be the first to apologize whether you’re at fault or not for the sake of peace;

Here is another relationship
su***de advice for m£n!

During interactions, we are unconsciously projecting our personality & communicating to others how we want to be treated through what we accept, tolerate or reject.

Peaceful coexistence is great but must not be cowardly sought through the rendering of unmerited apologies & the total avoidance of necessary conflicts.

Misunderstandings don’t make a relationship toxic.

In fact it’s absence may rather create so much bottled up negative emotions & unexpressed thoughts & words which can lead to resentment in the future.
That is rather toxic!

If you are at fault, render a sincere apology one time only.
Never apologize when not at fault just for the sake of peace because such actions in a long term will portray a timid, fearful, unassertive, low confidence & weak avoidant personality…—a lethal dose of unattractiveness!

If you can’t stand up to h£r, sh£ won’t trust that you can stand up for h£r!

Conflicts are inevitable and rather than focusing on the discomforts & tensions they bring, you must recondition your mind into viewing them as an opportunity to project the strengths of your character as well as an open forum for the expression of displeasures, negotiations and enforcements of boundaries.

4️⃣ Make money so that you can attract any lady you want & have a successful love life;

This is a misleading advice!
Each man should achieve his dreams and aim to be successful to enhance the quality of his own life and not because of wom£n.

Money can eliminate the problems associated with finances but it doesn’t guarantee a successful love life.

Just as bees are attracted to blooming flowers for their nectar, having money will make you extremely attractive to opportunistic wom£n who are ever ready to fake love for gains.

What’s the point in working hard to make it and sharing the fruits of your labour with the lowest quality lad!es on the dating market?

Wealthy yet or not, successful yet or not, you must always gauge for genuine interest & feelings because these can never be bought!

If you have your finances & life in order, developing your RELATIONSHIP SKILLS and knowing how to make a good selection of a partner is how you can astronomically increase your chances of a successful love life.


5️⃣ S£x is the fastest way to resolve misunderstandings:

No it’s not. This is a lie!

Problems still persist after “orgazims”!
S£x is more or less a quick distraction in the moment but not a solution to misunderstandings.

Imagine feeling aggrieved by something a friend said or did and then he cooks your favourite meal and invites you over for a hearty dinner without any prior conflict resolution.

Does this take back what he did or say?

Let’s assume he harboured no malicious intentions and you decided to partake in the dinner, will it cause you to feel better & forget your grievances without addressing it?

I believe it won’t!

The advice above has a similar effect because misunderstandings must be properly resolved and using distractions such as s£x rather builds up a ticking bomb of repressed negative emotions for an inevitable explosion of dissatisfaction & contempt in the future.

You must improve your conflict resolution skills to enable you handle a wide range of misunderstandings in such a manner that fuels intimacy instead of using s£x to escape reality.
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Don’t simply believe everything you are taught without reasoning through.

Can you imagine that the wisest ancient Philosophers for the longest time believed that the adult brain was hard-wired & unchangeable?

Neurological studies debunked these assumptions many centuries later and discovered the neuroplasticity ability of the brain — which implies that the brain changes with every new skill you learn and can form new connections throughout your life time.

Can you imagine how many generations lived their lives believing such fallacies and it’s limitations?

Curiosity & a questioning-truth-seeking attitude led to these later discoveries and many more.

Be careful about the kind of relationship advice you take…

If you’re confused about any long held beliefs or relationship counsels / strategies you have been given and need a critical analysis of it’s pros and cons, kindly get in touch.

“ Learn from the mistakes of others because you cannot live long enough to make them all yourself!”
“Life is too short & so don’t always take the long road!”

Call or Whatsapp: +233242011191

I’ld love to hear from you!

💯% CLIENT CONFIDENTIALITY IS GUARANTEED!!!

Your Pal,
Coach Vinn.
(Certified Men’s Dating & Relationship Coach)

HOW TO TELL IF SHE IS A ‘WIFE MATERIAL’ 💍

Photo: Getty Images

Email received;

Hello Coach Vinn,
I am confused as to which of my 2 girlfriends I should marry.

They are both good looking, God-fearing & seem to love me very much.

I have heard many stories of gfs laying low during the relationship and showing their true colours after marriage. This bothers me a lot.

Pls share some tips on what makes a girlfriend a good wife material so that I can choose the best one.

Thank you very much.

Anonymous

**************************************

“How do i spot a wife material?” is one of the questions I frequently get asked and I think it’s about time we discuss this topic into detail.

With all sincerity, not every female is a wife material!
Some belong to the streets… and I’ve personally witnessed from the men who consult with me how marrying a “non-wife material” is the worst decision any man can make because it directly affects everything else in his life.

Now, let’s check out 7 characteristics that a good wife material possesses;

1️⃣ She must be consistently kind-hearted:
Kind-heartedness refers to her being caring, considerate, generous, warm & sympathetic towards you & others.

If she is not a kind-hearted person, she will be insensitive & neglectful of your desires, have difficulty in giving or sharing and will hold certain selfish views such as (my money is my money but my man’s money is our money).

I believe love is all about giving and sacrifices….and no man can ever experience the best quality of love with a partner who is not kind-hearted.

If she is not consistently kind-hearted, then she is not a good wife-material.

2️⃣ She must be a responsible person;
Being responsible means she takes good care of herself, keeps her living space tidy, owns up fully to her actions & mistakes, makes the effort to be organized in every aspect of her life and is disciplined enough to limit her indulgence in reckless behaviours to the barest minimum.

No one is perfect, but you might seriously need to make a reconsideration if she is a highly irresponsible person because you can never change that about her and you may have to live with the headache of marrying an “adult-child” and also risk your future kids picking up some of these unpleasant habits from her.

To be a wife material, she must be responsible.

3️⃣ She must be an emotionally healthy person;
Humans have the ability to feel both negative & positive emotions.

Negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness, fear, rejection etc may seem unpleasant but are not unhealthy emotions.

The way a person perceives these emotions, uses them to facilitate thoughts, manages & expresses them is what classifies them as emotionally healthy or unhealthy.

A wife material must have a good regulation over her emotions & express them in a healthy socially acceptable manner.

4️⃣ She must be Loyal;
The loyalty I’m talking about here is a female’s desire to ensure that her partner & relationship succeeds by remaining faithful & not doing anything to tarnish the trust her man has in her.

Interestingly, loyalty means different things to different females.

The most preposterous thing i’ve heard a female say was that “s&x with a condom doesn’t count as cheating since there was no genitalia skin to skin contact.”

This was the defense she mounted against her infidelity to her man!

With the existence of such absurdism, it’s essential to seek clarification on what loyalty means to a person before any marital considerations.

A girlfriend who is a wife material must be trustworthy.

5️⃣ She must be able to trust you;
Most men over-look their ‘wife to be’s’ ability to be trusting.

But any man who’s ever been with an overly jealous, paranoid, insecure, dramatically possessive female can attest to the confusion & headaches you’ll have to endure in such a relationship.

It’s comprehensible if certain past actions of yours broke her trust…but some men have to stomach the effects of the emotional scars & psychological traumas caused by a female’s ex-lover(s) or upbringing attachment styles or both.
This, I find to be inequitable!

There’s an irreplaceable sense of tranquility that a man finds in a wife-to-be who is trusting…not just in his fidelity but also in his words, in his lead as a man & in his future plans & aspirations for his family.

Therefore, a girlfriend who is a good wife material must be “Trusting”.

6️⃣ She must be co-operative;
Co-operation refers to the process of working or acting harmoniously for a common mutual achievement, purpose or aim.

Again, many men dwell too much on “submission” instead of looking out for a partner who is “co-operative” and a “great team player”.

A co-operative wife will most likely collaborate with you through the rocky roads to success…but never take this for granted!

Most modern females are well empowered and bring much more to the table than just their mere presence…but they are also swift in withdrawing when taken for granted.

Secondly, many of the traits that enhance “female career success” also inhibits the growth & survival of their love lives.

It’s therefore important to look out for a balance in these traits…For example; intelligence must come with humility, confidence without arrogance, assertiveness with respectfulness, ambitiousness with familial love, financial empowerment without conceitedness and etcetera.

Without a good balance in a female’s personality, co-operation would be a challenge.

Co-operation has the power to see a couple through that which will tear many apart but this doesn’t mean you must be unambitious, lazy and cause someone’s daughter unnecessary torment…no woman wants a man whose life is going nowhere.

But a girlfriend who is a good wife material will exhibit signs of the willingness to co-operate around the right man.

7️⃣ She must be fun to have around;
Love must bring fun & excitement into your life.

Life is generally too stressful to have a gloomy kill-joy female as a wife! (Read this again)

Believe it or not, there are some females out there who are very miserable, angry at the world for whatever reason & will squeeze all the sunshine out of the life of those who get intimately involved with them…

These females will constantly shoot down your fun with their grouchy, cranky & grinchy attitude.

It’s best to avoid such people like a plague!

A good wife material doesn’t necessarily have to become an introvert or extrovert just to please you… but she’ll be better off if she possesses a modicum of fluidity in her personality.

This will make it more pleasurable to engage her in a variety of activities; be it taking a walk, attending a social event, playing a board game or even going dancing… it’s indisputable that “variety is the spice of life.” and “rigidity imprisons us”.

Therefore a girlfriend who is a good wife material must be fun to be around.

In conclusion, you can tell if she is a good wife material if she is;
-Kindhearted.
-A responsible person.
-An emotionally healthy person.
-Loyal.
-Able to trust you.
-Co-operative &
-Fun to be around.

Now if you are still confused even after reading this article and need assistance to re-evaluate whether or not it’s worth taking your relationship to the next level, kindly get in touch and let’s figure this out together.

Call/Whatsapp: +233242011191

I’ld love to hear from you.

100% CLIENT CONFIDENTIALITY IS GUARANTEED!!!

Warm Wishes,
Coach Vinn.
(Certified Men’s Dating & Relationship Coach)

8️⃣ DANGEROUS TRAPS A MAN NEEDS TO WATCH OUT FOR IN HIS SEARCH FOR GENUINE LOVE ❌❌❌

Photo: Getty Images

The best aspect of my practice is the opportunity it grants me to be a temporary but significant part of the love lives of a countless number of men.

Interestingly, what’s on the ground is a completely different picture from what’s in the books and inspired by the hundreds of true love stories gathered from my innumerable hours of coaching sessions, I have compiled this article to enlighten you about some of the modern romantic destructive traps lurking in the dark awaiting good men who are innocently in search of nothing but a genuine emotional connection.

“Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others”.
(Otto Von Bismarck)

Unfortunately, some of our brothers have fallen into these traps and paid the full price… but we can learn from their mistakes, empower ourselves with nuggets of wisdom from their experiences and re-create completely different endings for our love stories.

Now Let’s dive right into “The 8 dangerous traps a man needs to watch out when searching for LOVE.

1️⃣ The Attention-Giver & Ego-Booster Trap: In this trap, a man is entertained & tolerated for the attention he gives a female through his calls, messages & social media engagement (likes & comments).

His relentless pursuit makes the female involved feel desired, attractive and provides her an ‘ego boost’ about her appearance as well as soothe her self-image insecurities.

She toys with him like a dangling string before a cat; revamping his intermittently dwindling interest with an iota of hope of a romantic involvement.

Men caught up in this trap frustratingly employ the use of money, gifts, free chauffeuring, sugarcoated-words, lies, their undivided unmerited attention & every other trick in the book but all in futility.

It’s an absolute waste of valuable time, efforts, resources & emotions to fall into this trap.

Words of Wisdom;
Elude this trap by “strictly” measuring a female’s interest based on her ACTIONS and not her words…Talk is cheap.

“Actions speak louder & clearer than words.”
If she is not showing up, then she is not feeling it! Period!!!
No need for any wishful thinking!

2️⃣ The Rebound Trap: Here, a female establishes a new connection with a man shortly after a breakup to avoid feeling the full extent of emotional pain, to provide her some distraction and to secure a backup just in-case loneliness comes knocking on her door.

Such a connection is fueled by egocentric intents and with absolutely no consideration for the feelings of the new man.

If you’ve been on a female’s chasing list and her relationship abruptly ended and she has suddenly become highly responsive & affectionate towards you, be careful!

This could be a rebound trap and not an “incredible opportunity”.

Human beings require time to heal after a failed committed romantic relationship before they can be psychologically & emotionally ready to establish another deep connection.

Studies suggest that most people averagely feel much better 3 months after a breakup…some may even take much longer depending on the value placed on the relationship.

Words of Wisdom;
A man can escape the rebound trap by slowing things down and not rushing into any new relationship with a female regardless of whether she broke up recently or not.

But if you’re all about the non-attached fun and games then hurray because “the fish has swam into your net!” **smiles**

3️⃣ The Provider Trap: Here, a female “settles” into a romantic relationship with a man in order to escape destitution and have her basic needs for survival met.

A man who falls into this trap provides for a female endlessly like a “father” and only after she has secured an abundant supply of food, many nice clothes & shoes to wear, a roof over her head & sometimes a steady source of income does she subconsciously begin to juxtapose her “provider-man” to other “more attractive” men who now notice & approach her.

Most often than not, she falls helplessly in love with one of those more attractive men and either keeps her amorous involvement a secret from her “provider man” or jilts him without a blink and moves on with her newly found lover.

Truth is, her heart was never with the provider man to begin with and that was the problem and not his investment in her.

Some may argue that it is unfair on a female’s part to have accepted a man’s support if she didn’t love him.

True, but let’s analyze this from a different perspective; If you offer a drowning woman a hand to cling unto on condition that she accepts to be your girlfriend/wife and she accedes, can she solely be blamed for not loving you after you saved her life?

Humanistic Psychology teaches us that “Without satisfying the basic need for food, shelter & clothing, a person will have no interest in pursuing the need for love & relationships.” (Maslow’s Theory of Needs)

Words of Wisdom;
A man can avoid this provider trap by raising his dating standards to a point where he doesn’t get involved with females who are on the brink of starvation, tatteredness or homelessness… because an impoverished person’s focus is on how to alleviate their indigence and not on love!

“Remember that just as a dying man has no value for silver nor gold so does a destitute female place no value on love & loyalty!”

4️⃣ The Exploitation Trap;
Here, a man is lured into developing strong feelings towards a female in order to make him vulnerable & then exploitable.

Unlike the provider trap which involves meeting basic needs, the exploitation trap involves using a man as a stepping stone to the top or for a much greater purpose.

Men who have fallen victims to this trap have been exploited into spending huge sums of cash on setting up or expanding a female’s business, paying for her relocation abroad, sponsoring to further her education, pulling strings to land her a better job, a promotion or a transfer & to open other advantageous doors for her and etcetera.

The Bible story of Sampson & Delilah is another example of this Exploitation Trap.

In a few instances where the man is married, the female may go all out and resort to blackmail in order to get her demands met.

Words of Wisdom: A man must avoid using his wealth to win a female’s heart since this may open the doors of ingenuity & exploitation for him.

Secondly, any man who has forged a noble successful reputation for himself must tread cautiously with attractive females especially those who throw themselves at him.
Bear in mind that there is no free lunch for such a man!

5️⃣ The Replacement Trap;
Here, a female lures a man into marrying her simply because he is available and has the resources to fund a wedding & support a family…

She cunningly uses him to replace her attractive current boyfriend who is not “ready for marriage”… and it is only after the euphoria from the marriage ceremony wears out that she begins to feel empty, reminisce the fun times she had with her ex-boyfriend, misses him & begin to crave his warmth.

Most often than not, contact is secretly re-established with her ex and only heaven knows the raging flames of passion that may be ignited.

This phenomena can explain why some married females are still intimately involved with their ex-boyfriends’ and even end up bearing kids for them.

No-one can ever cheat nature!
If you think you have the resources to sn**ch another man’s girlfriend, you must do it the right way or nature will avenge in an unforgiving manner towards you.

Words of Wisdom:
“Desperate times breeds desperate measures”
(William Shakespeare)

Be mindful about your involvement with females whose biological clocks are fast ticking & seem desperate for marriage…

Also, ensure that you cause your lady to fall deeply and madly in love with you and only take things to the next level when she proves herself worthy to sit at your table.

Never agree to marriage to prove your love for her or just to make her happy; such a suggestion may be a trap!

6️⃣The Rescuer Trap;
Here, a female who has advanced in age, exhausted her youthful exuberance, fulfilled most of her s&xual fantasies, has had a kid or two and has lost most of her reproductive years finds & lures a good & decent looking gainfully employed committed man into becoming her husband & a step father to her kid(s).

Most of such females spent their youthful days either giving warmth to older married men (sugar daddies) or messing around with bad play boys & now desperately seek a good man to make up for all the wasted years.

The funny part of all this is that men who fall into this trap would have never stood a chance with such a female years back when she was in her prime & at the peak of her youth & looks.

Such a man now becomes more or less her “Rescuer” from her past bad choices and saves her biological clock in the nick of time.

When a female advances in age & realizes that she can no longer compete with younger ladies in catching the attention of high quality attractive men, she shifts her focus to the second best…which are; the good responsible averagely-low attractive stable career men in an attempt to avoid losing out completely.

Some may even reconnect with good men they rejected years ago to see if they are still interested.

Once again, such a relationship is a trap, it’s selfish and in no Favour of the good men involved.

Words of Wisdom;
Clarify your dating & relationship goals and learn to objectively spot & strictly filter out females who do not match your ideal preference.
Remember that you compromise your dating standards at the risk of your happiness & satisfaction.

7️⃣ The Sympathetic Love Trap; Here, a female gives a heart touching narrative about her past childhood traumas, poor parental upbringing, bad treatment from her ex-boyfriend(s), ill-treatments & discriminations from the church, the society, the world and etcetera to a man who has expressed interest in her.

Regardless of whether the stories are true or made up, they still have the ability to subconsciously trigger a “treat her right at all cost” intention in the mind of a good man.

And any man who gets caught up in this trap takes it upon himself to be the 1 to prove to her that true love and unconditional acceptance exists, attempts to fix her past hurt, becomes her knight in shiny armour & rescues his princess from the tower of sorrow.!

Sympathetic romantic love mostly turns sour for the giver because it is unmerited & mostly goes unrequited.

Words of Wisdom:
It is not your job to fix any female or prove anything to her.

It’s great to be empathetic but traumatized females must undergo therapy to fix themselves or they may end up causing you to suffer for the wrongs of others.
This happens repeatedly!

“The lighter a female’s emotional baggage, the more pleasant a relationship with her will be.”

8️⃣ The Rage Trap;
Here, a female isolates a man from his friends & loved ones by cunningly sowing seeds of rage into his heart against them.

Her main target are those whose words & presence has a powerful influence over her man.

This strategy is mostly employed when a female feels she is competing with others over a man’s resources, time, attention, affection or presence.

But since the most common reason for this is over a man’s resources, the rage trap is spotted simultaneously with either the provider-trap, the exploitation trap or the rescuer trap since it’s tactic involves isolating a man from anyone who can pinpoint & save him from a female’s self-centred motives.

Men who fall victims to the rage trap are turned against their parents, their siblings, their closest friends & even their own biological children from previous relationships.

Words of Wisdom;
Be objective in taking decisions by not letting your judgement be clouded by emotions.

Secondly, familiarize yourself with the telltale signs of a manipulative person so as to spot such a female.

Thirdly, humbly seek the counsel of wise trusted people when the need arises; you can never know it all and 2 heads are most definitely better than 1.

Also, It pays to keep such wise counsel a secret lest the person may become future targets of rage strategy.

In conclusion, 8 dangerous traps a man needs to watch out for in his search for love are;

1️⃣ The Attention-Giver & Ego Booster Trap
2️⃣The Rebound Trap
3️⃣The Provider Trap
4️⃣The Exploitation Trap
5️⃣The Replacement Trap
6️⃣The Rescuer Trap
7️⃣The Sympathetic Love Trap
8️⃣The Rage Trap

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Are you caught up in any of these traps or experiencing extreme challenges in your love life and are in desperate need of guidance?

Kindly reach out to me.

Call/Whatsapp: +233242011191

I’ld love to hear from you.

Warm Wishes,
Coach Vinn
(Certified Men’s Dating & Relationship Coach)