Katia Medri

Mi lancia un’occhiata.
“Anni?”
Avvampo di nuovo.
“Mamma centodue. Seth ha venticinque anni e Thor ventuno.”
Il padrone fa una smorfia.
“Ecco spiegata Rue Malasort.” Scuote la testa in senso di diniego. “Con tutto quello che ho fatto per migliorare la condizione degli stregoni, ancora mi capitano delle famiglie di cuccioli in queste condizioni.”
Dice irritato. Famiglie di cuccioli. La legge del Sommo di Beltan sancisce che le famiglie di stregoni con componenti al di sotto dei mille anni siano considerate nuclei familiari di cuccioli e possano richiedere dei sussidi, ma mamma si vergogna ad andarli a chiedere.

Così dicendo, si alza ed io rimango abbagliata dallo splendore statuario di quel corpo perfetto. [...] Avvampo. Per qualche motivo, oggi sembra ancora più bello e più attraente di prima.

Jemlice - Nebbia Bianca ©
di Katia Medri

Disponibile su amazon (anche su Kindle Unlimited)

A writer's block is that phase when you start writing but nothing works and if you push yourself to keep going you grow grumpy and furious, writing becomes horrible and you feel like you want to throw everything away.
One thing I learned is that the human mind needs space and time to elaborate life, and that translates into terribly frustrating moments in which writing a novel becomes an almost impossible titanic enterprise.
Months ago I spent six months writing beginning over beginning and short story over short story, without ever getting anywhere.
Then, suddenly, something clicked and I started writing the series I'm currently writing (I'm on page seventysix of book for).
A writer's block is not an enemy to fight, it's a nasty and annoying phase in life.
It should be humored but to an extent. We don't give up, we try and we wait.
Through those months I structured dozens of plots, but I couldn't write anyway. I began writing five novels of which I have the fully developed plot on a notebook and I will likely never write.
All those aimless pages were vital to figure out what I wanted to write and where I wanted to go next. As a matter of fact, I kept it all.

When we start publishing, the public's critique can be devastating sometimes. It's not just hard to accept it, there's also an echo that latsts over time.
I've seen a lot of people say they don't care, but few truly not caring and those few are scary in a negative way.
A normal person suffers when they receive critics, there's nothing weird about it.
One of those I still fight is that one of my characters in particular doesn't grow at all through the first book.
I read the book recently and the character grows a lot while remaining loyal to herself. The problem is that a lot of people believe growing means to become narcisists or worse.
In the story I'm writing now, I just wrote a passage that forced me to take stock of the situation on the growth of the main five characters through the third book.
It was wonderful and devastating to see how many things happened in 270 pages of draft and how much the characters grew becoming more and more loyal to themselves.
Every book I write gives me a sweet feeling that I built something for others.
This series, in particular, is meant for teens and young adults and it's making me very happy about how many educational things I managed to add.
I'm looking forward to publishing it.

Writing a book can't be done over night. Sure, if the book is short it can be done in a couple of days. But writing it all at once is almost impossible.
Why does it matter?
Because life is not always sunshine and flowers and nobody can keep the same state of mind and be in the same psychological and emotional condition for as long as it takes to write a book.
All it takes is the call of an aggrressive seller or a conversation with a friend bearing annoying news that our mood and state of mind change.
How can we write a novel and a plot without getting stuck nor letting our moods influence us?
Many make the mistake to write only when they are in the right mood. There's a huge difference between mood and inspiration.
Inspiration is feeling the need to deliver a message through a form of art, the mood is how you feel when you do it.
If you know you want to deliver a message, you will do it when you're angry, when you're sad and when you're happy.
The only thing you need to pay attention to is the tone, the style and the rhythm, long story short, you need to pay extreme attention to the form.
The way we deliver concepts is paramount.
Talking about beauty is different than talking about charm. Saying "when she saw him she realized he was dead" is different than "when she looked back in shock at the man she loved, she was struck by the horrifying awareness that he had left her forever."
Writing is a form of art.

Tonight I wrote a passage that doesn't fully persuade me because of a baseless fear. I like it and it works, but I have the odd feeling I rushed things.
How do we choose the rhythm at which events should develop?
Like every other thing, in writing, the method is subjective.
Personally, I choose to define the length of the chapters and the number of chapters I want to write, then I divide them in half and I decide what goes in the first half and what goes in the second half, if I need it sooner or later.
I don't support writing a plot, chapter by chapter and point by point, because if we are talking about a plot, it's a creative work and not a cookbook.
Many emerging authors seem to think the only fun part in writing is organizing the plot.
This happens when we get stuck with an unbreakable structure.
Writing is a creative process and fantasy should be running though the whole proces, not just while organizing the plot.
The fear is that it won't work or that all the hard work will be lost. But seeing the final draft and how it's different from the idea, teaches two things:
1. Plots are infinite and there's no limit to fantasy
2. The final result will always be better because one thing is to think a story, one thing is to tell it.

Why writing?
A couple of nights ago, I wrote a passage in the new book, in which the protagonist had to figure out what makes her happy and I wondered: how can I explain why we love the things we love?
Why do I push myself until my eyes burn for spending too much time on the pc? Why do I bug my mother reading aloud until my throat hurts? Why do I wake up after only two hours sleep to run to my pc to write that passage? Why do I fill notebooks and notebooks with bits of plots, names, verses and random thoughts?
When I sit in front of my computer, the world around me disappears. Family health issues, my own health issues, the abuse I suffered, the anger against those who underestimate me, fear, loneliness, none of that exists anymore. There's only the story. There's only the beautiful world that lives only in my mind but still is so bright and lively.
Then there's the aftet... comments on amazon from people who chose to share their feelings without being asked, the unique feeling that I delivered something to someone, the awareness that I'm alive and that I did something for the world.
When some day it will be over and the story will end, what will be left of me? My art.
And maybe, among the thousands of comments and critics written or spoken, someone remained silent and caught the message in my work: we are not alone, someone somewhere suffered and is suffering as much as we do, there's hope, all it takes is be strong and keep fighting.

Each of us has their own truth. There's truths on solid bases and hairy fairy truths.
Eight self published novels and six ready for publishing sound like a solid base to me.
I don't like telling others "if you want to get there you have to do this", it feels like treating them like retards.
Here is the thing: until they don't try to make it on their own, they won't know what resources they have.
That is when I become useful and I can help.
One thing I learned in my fortytwo years of experience is that when you start doing something good for yourself you'll end up having to fight against friends; relatives and haters (plus a bunch of other people). If friends support you, it's either because they're doing something they consider better than what you're doing or they think you're worth nothing.
My friend is working hard in another field, we respect each other but we bascally mind our own business.
Do you want to be a writer?
Get ready for emotional pain for the reactions of those around you, crisis in which you don't know what to write no matter how many stories you structure, people looking down to you and feeling a failure because you don't sell enough copies. There's the anger because you'd want to do more, the irritation for those who have better things to do. And no! There's no way to face these situations other than stubborness and pursuing a true goal, which can't be to be a writer, it needs to be a message you want to leave to the world.

What is that thing that you love the most doing?
This is the most beautiful, useful yet scary question you can ask yourself.
To begin with, most people don't take it seriously and they answer in one of two ways: either they say they want to test matrasses, or that dreams don't bring bread on the table.
Who has the guts and wonder seriously will end up facing an abyss.
There's plenty of things we enjoy doing, some of which are temporary obsessions, others are long term obsessions, some other things we moderately enjoy.
Finding that thing for wich we are willing to have our feet bleed like a ballerina, or end up with muscular pain like a bodybuilder, or give up social life like a successful lawyer, is way more difficult than it may seem and often it's so natural we don't even realize we're doing it.
It's life hardships that show us what that thing truly is.
Someone very important to me doesn't like reading, every time I wrote text this person replied "could you send me voice mail the next time?".
The more they said that, the more I tried to improve my text and sum it up, the worse I felt. I got to the point of qestioning our compatibility if they hated my messages so much, then I realized they used to listen to voice mail over fifteen minutes long and they answered point by point with interest.
That's how I figured out they weren't the problem, but that I wanted to write and I felt I was being denied to do it. So I started doing it, not to them, but for readers.

PS. Fun fact. That person is one of the very few I know who read my books with interest.

How do I become a writer?
This is a question I stumble upon every time I look up tropes online. I read many articles about it, but none that I agree with.
People do not wake up one day like "I wanna be a writer" without ever having written a single line. There might be some who do, but it's rare exceptions. It's about time we stop treating people like retards who have no clue how the world works. Let's give some useful answers instead.
When I was eleven, I had been doing ballet for six. My teacher was mad at me because I wouldn't reach my full potential, yet, I was one of the best. One day in the locker room I saw the wounded feet of my classmates. I didn't have a single blister. That's how I knew I didn't love ballet enough.
With writing I did the right opposite. I worked at local newspapers, sometimes writing sometimes assisting, I wrote so many stories from the age of seven that it would be impossible to count them. I participated to writing contests, poetry contests and I wrote a diary despite hating it. I read so many books I reached the end of the mithology section in the local library and had to ask if there were new arrivals. I'm not exaggerating, this is merely the point of the iceberg and I am sure that those who wonder "how do I become a writer?" did that too already or they are doing it.
The true answer to that question is "are you sure you want to be one?"
If we truly want to reach a goal we don't stop in front of anything and we don't need advice. Sure, ideas are always welcome, but not necessary.
You become a writer if you love writing so much that it is your top priority.
In the past year I wrote about sixty drafts of new books passing page one hundred, four incomplete books, four books ready for publishing, about a hundred poems and dozens of short stories.
When did I go out? Never. I had to write. How much time did I spend with friends? Friends? I have one and he's got stuff to do too.
This is the hard truth. Anyone can use mental maps and that a plot is necessary even my neighbor's dog knows.

Writing a book is a solitary experience, something to do closed in your room or study, it can't and shouldn't be shared. Why do I say this?
Because the contemporary world is obsessed with relying on others, with team work, with a psychological mistake that pushes those who don't have a leader mentality to think that others know better.
Well, if you want to be writers, it's much better to fail for an excess of self esteem than succeed because others wrote it or fixed it. More leadership and less uncertainty.
Years ago I read a book, written by an author who, in the introduction, heartfeltly thanked the twentyfive people (friends and family) who helped him editing and correcting the book.
The introduction, written without editing, was so empathetic and sensitive that it made me want to read the book. Well, I closed it at page six.
What? It must have been perfect! Corrected by more than twenty people, it must be a best seller! It's a flop that didn't sell, I never saw it in the rankings and the reviews belonged only to those twentyfive people.
Why did I close it? It was full of typos. It lacked pathos and emotion. It lacked any description of environments. The suspence was so exasperated it made the rythm slow and lacking information.
When the duel began out of the blue, without an explanation, it became impossible to follow due to the excessively technical terms.
I would define it a book impossible to read.
Who doesn't feel sure, should never rely on friends and colleagues. Each of us has their own vision and if two hands can write a work of art, four can destroy a masterpiece.
You have to rely solely on yourself, or on editors and publishing companies who know what works for the public and what doesn't.
Groups work for studying, not to become writers.

Those who write a book and try to publish it, most often do it thinking about success and the hope that the book will be a best seller.
Others publish to prove something. To prove they're worthy. To prove they're good at it. To prove they're talented.
Actually, none of those reasons is right. Valid, sure. Right, nope.
Let's face it.
Truth is that even with a good response, like I had, we're all freelance who need too many abilities to be good at all of it.
We're writers, editors, marketing agents, cover designers and entrepreneurs of our own selves.
We handle social media, we write books, we work up to forteen hours a day. We work with fever, with a broken heart, while others party.
Why chose such a life knowing it won't pay back? Knowing that often it's hard to make ends meet?
Passion isn't enough, it takes more.
We choose to be writers because we have a message to deliver to the world.
We choose to publish because we hope someone will benefit from what we have to say.
I'm so tired of reading of great dreams and great liars faking a success that doesn't exis, merely for publishing a book.
We don't publish to be worshipped. We publish to help others.

When can a writer consider themselves capable and self define themselves a writer?
Many write a romance and consider themselves experts able to teach, I wrote forteen and as an unknown writer my first book sold over one thousand copies the first year, yet I don't go around giving advice on how to write a book, wanna know why?
There is no experience more personal than writing a literary work and what works for me might not work for others.
When I use tropes, I use them as a guideline, I often rather change the story to make it flow freely, would I recommend doing it? No, because to use that technique it takes being at ease with uncertainty. Would I advise against it? No, because I can't decide what works for others.
Suggesting not to describe too much leads emerging authors not to describe at all, the advice to describe more leads them to count the hair on a dog passing by.
There's no piece of advise that works for everyone.
Writing is a visceral experience bringing to the surface emotions and deep feelings, it can't be closed in a box.
We go by trial and error and we try to do our best.
Lately, I heard a lot the expression "write about what you know", but that's so silly and inevitable.
Even if I wanted to write about weather broadcasts, I'd need to read and learn about it, so I would know the subject.
Maybe we should say that it's not necessary to be experts to write about a topic, but it is necessary to be well informed.

The more I think about it, the more I'mconvinced I'm either on the wrong planet, or I belong to another species.

The point is that humans, regardless of era, live based on prejudice.

"OMG, that's so true!"

There, that's a prejudice (escept some rare exceptions).

"Yours is a prejudoce too, then!"

There you go, anothet one and no, mine is not a prejudice, it's a conclusion I came to reading some scientific articles.

That's exactly what makes me roll my eyes and snort: there's no place for thinking, there's no place for understanding before judging, no, what matters most is to say the most stupid and evil thing possible. Now that is considered intelligent.

Well, I take a distance from humanity. I refuse to judge without knowing, especially judging negatively.

Innocent until proven guilty, and my problem is exactly that I wait until I get to know even idiots before deciding they are not compatible with me.

What does it have to do with my books? I wrote them and even though they are distopian, for most people, in this sense they're utopian to me, since my characters take informed decisions and those who don't end up looking like morons.

One of the hardest lessons for an emerging author is not how to write a book, nor how to go through the first draft and publishing.
The hardest thing for an emerging author is the difference between the artist and the work of art.
The writer is an artist and their book is a work of art, but let's see the difference.

The work of an unknown author is a magnificent or a disgusting piece, something judged based on its traits, for the emotions it delivers and for its real worth.

The artist and the writer, in mainstream culture, are golddggers, beggars, people with a low sense of morality, madmen with a weird sensitivity that makes them special, but still morally debatable.

Why is this distinction so important to keep into account? Beacuse people close to the author will always treat them like a child who refuses to work.
It doesn't matter that the book is woth as much as a bestseller or even more, the author will always be looked down to.

"Yeah, sure, I will read it. Sorry, but I have important stuff to do."

That answer is always in the background.

The lesson to learn is that that answer and that attitude are a result of ignorance and prejudice coming from people who don't understand the importance of the writer's work.

You may even have published a book of grocery lists collected in a bin in front of a store, it would still be a bright idea worthy of admiration.

Ignore the sibling or the cousin who make you feel like little retards.