Joshua K. Miyogo

SAMSON OGOLLA on Twitter.
What Azimio is saying...

1. Let's continue importing furniture and steel products so that Kenyan carpenter and fabricator should stay jobless

2. We should continue taxing Gas so that it remains a preserve of the few.

3. Our farmers don't deserve cheaper fertilizer. They must continue paying for inputs like fertilizers through their noses.

4. Vaccines for human and animals should stay beyond the reach of many thanks to high taxes.

5. Bank transfer, mobile data and call rates should remain high. I mean, Kenyans deserve to suffer.

6. The 6m Kenyans should be condemned in slums for life. After all they are second-class Citizens who don't deserve better housing.

7. The fisherman in Kisumu and the Coast should live on handouts as cheap fish from China flood the market.

8. Unga should stay political tool, never to be fixed. Zero-rating maize and wheat flour is such a bad idea let alone incentivizing farmers.

9. Let's continue borrowing to pay salaries and build our roads. Using money from fuel to build roads is such an evil plan

10. The 3m Kenyans in FORMAL employment should be taxed to death to support the 47m Kenyans.

Wasaredo are saying, let Kenya remain stagnant if it's impossible to take it back into the stone age!

Quick recovery Museveni

Emotional damage,nategea kuskia NURU akiuliza nani hana kwao 🤣🤣

We are entering june, we have been ranting and demanding immediate cheap unga, from where nobody wanted to know. Ruto in his wisdom knew how prices can be brought down.
He subsided fertilizer.

Visit the country side and see the green fields of ripening maize.

Kenya may have the biggest bumper harvest since independence. And food crisis will have been tamed.
Three human basic need is being tackled in earnest. Food, shelter and clothes. Just a matter of time.
making noise without any solution is what has found us where we are today

We are entering june, we have been ranting and demanding immediate cheap unga, from where nobody wanted to know. Ruto in his wisdom knew how prices can be brought down.
He subsided fertilizer.

Visit the country side and see the green fields of ripening maize.

Kenya may have the biggest bumper harvest since independence. And food crisis will have been tamed.
Three human basic need is being tackled in earnest. Food, shelter and clothes. Just a matter of time.
making noise without any solution is what has found us where we are today

Breaking news,Faith Kipyegon breaks the world record in the 1500m run with an astonishing time of 3.49.11.

Azimio resolves to ditch proposed bi-partisan talks with Kenya Kwanza in Parliament.

Coalition says the process needs extra-parliamentary dialogue and not the predetermined process.

They claim that Majority Leader Kimani Ichung'wah did not consult the opposition during the drafting of the motion seeking to establish the bipartisan committee

I still remember the misleading headline, "The Martha Effect." wasarendo chronicles

Achraf Hakimi's wife filed for divorce and demanded half of his property.

She was however informed by court that her "millionaire' husband owns nothing as all his properties are registered under his mother's names.

Hakimi receives €1 million from PSG monthly but 80% of this is deposited in his mother Mrs. Fatima's account.

He has no property, cars, houses, jewelry or even clothes in his name.

Anytime, he wants anything, he asks his mother who buys it for him.

Isack rono from mulot has invented a gadget that upgrade network from 4G to 5G within mulot
I once told you mulot means
M_men
U_under
l_level
O_of
T_technology hapana cheza na mulot workaholic brains

We are the best team, a partnership
like no other with the strongest alliance.
You are always there for me,
and I'm always there for you.
Happy my love and mother to my children

THE TEACHING OF THE DONKEY

One day a farmer’s donkey fell into a well. The animal cried loudly for hours, while the farmer tried to find something to do to get him out.

Finally, the farmer decided that the donkey was old and the well was already dry and needed to be covered anyway; that it really wasn't worth pulling the donkey out of the well..

He invited all his neighbors to come help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to throw dirt into the well.

The donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly loud. Then, to everyone's surprise, he quieted down after a few shovelfuls of dirt.

The farmer finally looked down into the well and was amazed at what he saw... with each shovelful of dirt, the donkey was doing something incredible: It was shaking off the dirt and stepping on top of the dirt.

Very soon everyone saw surprised how the donkey reached the mouth of the well, went over the edge and trotted out...

Life is going to throw dirt at you, all kinds of dirt... the trick to getting out of the hole is to shake it off and use it to step up. Each of our problems is a step up. We can get out of the deepest holes if we don't give up...

Use the land they throw you to get ahead!!!

Remember the 5 rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hate.

2. Free your Mind of distractions.

3. Simplify your life.

4. Give more and expect less.

5. Love more and... shake the dirt, because in this life you have to be a solution, not the problem!

Mbinguni hakuna football 🙄🙄

🙄🙄

The tongue is a small soft flesh. Yet it is capable of breaking the strongest bonds and destroying the most powerful relationships.
Learn the art of silence just as you learn to speak. For if speech is a guiding matter, then silence is a protective measure.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I will shift teams until I win this world cup

I was invited to a wedding, when i reached the hotel,i found two doors written,

1.bride relatives
2.groom relatives

I entered the one with bride relatives and found two more doors,

1.ladies
2.gentlemen

I went through the one with ladies, only to find two more doors,

1.people with gifts
2.people without gifts

I went through the one written people without gifts😀and found myself outside the hotel through the backdoor and at the door it was written,
"So in this hard economy, you just want to come and eat free food, with drinks without any gift,no way please.😩

U.K announces Ksh.550M funding to Kenya to increase forest cover
https://www.citizen.digital/news/uk-announces-ksh550m-funding-to-kenya-to-increase-forest-cover-n310808
The United Kingdom has supported Kenya’s efforts in dealing with climate change by donating Ksh.550 million to aid in reforestation projects.

U.K announces Ksh.550M funding to Kenya to increase forest cover The United Kingdom has supported Kenya’s efforts in dealing with climate change by donating Ksh.550 million to aid in reforestation projects.

John Walukhe; The other day I told Uhuru that he retired and left me hanging. He told me that he tried his best to solve my case but he couldn't. I asked him how that was possible yet he was the President. I told him what kind of a President was he...? Ruto you are the father of the nation please help me because I was told to leave and go to Azimio so that my case is removed...

PRESS STATEMENT
BY: KENYA UNION PARTY (KUP)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press:

We have convened this press briefing to offer guidance to the membership of the Kenya Union Party (KUP) and to all Kenyans on the emerging threats to our constitutional democracy.

We, the Kenya Union Party, joined the Azimio One Kenya Alliance in the run-up to the last General Election in exercise of our political rights as a political party. We did this because we genuinely believed that the Azimio One Kenya Alliance represented a new dawn for our country in the form of principled, policy-driven, and visionary leadership.

Aside from its management of the election campaigns, and its penchant for unilateral decision making; recent actions by the Azimio leadership have starkly shown us that the promises that led us to join the coalition were hollow. Indeed, today the Azimio coalition represents the greatest threat to democracy, the rule of law, and national cohesion in our nation’s recent history.

Arising therefrom, today we lay bare the instruments that were meant to hold the coalition together and to guide our path forward; so that Kenyans may see the disingenuous and deceitful nature of the current arrangement.

In that regard, the Kenya Union Party wishes to notify our members and the general public as follows:

I. The Kenya Union Party expresses its disapproval of affiliate parties being annexed as family holdings and blatantly being disregarded within the Azimio fraternity;

II. That the just concluded EALA nominations affirms that Azimio is a dynastic enterprise that is in reality a personal vessel for a chosen few;

III. That the Kenya Union Party unequivocally disassociates itself from the planned demonstrations by the ODM party under the guise of a collective Azimio decision; for the reason that the same were not discussed and approved by Azimio’s constituent parties;

IV. That for the avoidance of doubt, the true Azimio Coalition, and not the renegade ODM brigade, fully respects due process and the rule of law, and respects the decisions of the Supreme Court for the reason that they embody the sovereign authority of the People of Kenya;

V. That Kenyans are yearning for a transformation of their lives driven by leaders addressing the day to day issues of ordinary citizens; such as the plight of the millions devastated by drought and hunger, the escalating cost of living, and the limited access to opportunities and jobs for our youth;

VI. That we have no doubt in our mind that this renegade brigade only offers violence and chaos rather than sensible and practical solutions for the needs of Kenyans;

VII. That the Kenya Union Party lauds Hid Excellency President Hon. William Ruto for steering the country along a path of transformation;

VIII. That in less than 100 days in Office – His Excellency the President has been able to inspire a renewal of our national ethos; and his Government’s record had already secured amazing achievements that have caught the admiration of the world;

IX. That the most recent example of this, the establishment of the Hustler Fund, shows that the Administration has a comprehensive plan to eliminate poverty by enhancing access to credit for our micro business and individuals alike;

X. That the Administration is one that not only says but also delivers; as shown by the fact that the elusive fertilizer subsidy promised in previous Administrations has finally been received by our farmers;

XI. That as a responsible and responsive Government, the Administration has implemented a suspension of the importation of maize until all the locally produced maize is utilized; a sign that we now have a Government that listens and cares of the plight of our farmers; and

XII. That the new security policies and interventions such as the recruitment of National Police Reservists boldly indicate this Government’s commitment to peace and security across all of Kenya; with many more nascent successes in many other areas of our public life.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

As a Party, we are committed to calling it as it is; which means recognizing when the Administration has secured successes as well as calling it out when it appears to be going astray. This is a far cry from ODM’s reflexive denunciation of all of the Administration’s policies and programmes; even those, such as the ones that we have highlighted above, that are undoubtedly transformative.

Kenya is our motherland, our home, and our sacred inheritance passed down to us by previous generations to hold in trust for future generations. No single person, party, or group of families is greater than the nation.

No Kenyan should ever dream that their narrow ambitions are more important than the peace, security, cohesion, and development of Kenya. Whether in Government or outside of it, all politicians must respect the basic tenets of our constitutional democracy; particularly respect for the rule of law and respect for judicial decisions.

The removal of IEBC Commissioners is a legal process provided for by our Supreme Law as a fair and just means by which the Senior Management of thr Elections Body can be held accountable to the People of Kenya. This is not s partisan question, it is to ask are we a nation of laws or a nation of lawlessness; are we a country where no one is above having to answer for their conduct in the discharge of the public trust, or are we a nation of the rule of the jungle.
The ODM Party must halt the planned demonstrations that pose a grave threat to peace, democracy, and development. Kenya needs a dynamic opposition that is loyal to the Constitution and the overriding interests of our People, rather than one which wishes to selfishly heighten political tensions and threaten violence and destruction all in the pursuit of a ‘handshake’ that will never come.

May God Bless you all

May God Bless our beloved Nation Kenya!

CHERERA RESIGNS

Now you know why Senegal is losing

Hii imemkataa kabisa

PRESIDENT RUTO suspends ‘Cherera Four’ from IEBC, appoints a tribunal chaired by Justice Aggrey Muchelule to probe them.

When you die,
It’s your village which will sit and plan your funeral,
It’s the village women who will fetch water from the river,
They will give their two liters of milk,
It’s your village mates that will dig your grave,
It’s them village boys that will hold the spade and fill your grave,
The village women will come the day after to wash utensils and clean
up,
We,
Your boys club, will hold a handful soil and drop it down the grave and
go wash our hands.
Take selfies and caption them; Heaven received an Angel, Go well my
friend, I can’t believe you are gone .....
With your eulogy booklet and a customized water bottle in our hands,
we will leave before a last prayer is said.
Nairobi or wherever the residents they come from is far, the rains
might fall and the roads are pathetic.
We need to get there on time and party to your departure.
Dear Human,
When you can, Fix Your People.
Connect homies with jobs,
Fix water for them,
Support community initiative, school fee here or a medical bill there,
If you can, please fix that road that leads home.
Be present,
Empower Home.
They matter most.
Friends abandoned us, family, are the only people who will remain with
you in whatever situation you are in. Think twice before you throw them
away.

MY VIEW ON HUSTLER FUND

500 bob is a lot of money.

You can buy 10 litres of raw milk at 40 bob from a farmer. (400*10) = 400 bob

Buy 10 litres mutungi at 50 bob.

Buy a measuring panel one litre at 25bob. Your business is set.

Sell all the 10 litres at 70 bob per litre

10*70 = 700 SHILLINGS

EVERY DAY YOU HAVE OVER 300 SHILLINGS IN TERMS OF PROFIT IF YOU REPEAT. Assume you sell morning and evening you will have 600 SHILLINGS profit.

IDEA TWO

Buy a tray of eggs at 300 bob.

Buy charcoal of 50 bob for boiling.

Nyanya/Kitunguu - 100 bob

Sell all the 30 eggs at 25 bob each

30*25 = 750 shillings

750-450 = 300 Shillings.

Assume you sell two trays you will have 600 shillings.

Per month with 600 shillings you have over 18000 monthly on the two IDEAS. So take the 500 bob and use it wisely.

Kila mahali leo kunanukia vitunguu na kila mtu unapatana na yeye anaongea English. Hii 50 Billion ya naona mtamaliza kabla ya asubuhi.

Kamkunji Grounds will be closed starting today Monday at 6 pm for renovations and therefore we urge the public to avoid going into that place. We also warn the public that there will be no demonstrations in the country following the ongoing National exams accross the country,we will not tolerate any kind of picketing to allow our children do their exams in a peaceful way". ~IG Japhet Koome

https://youtu.be/8DqvY6Y1eas

Kericho MCA's to Tarimbo: You're a traitor

Kenyans are drinking alcohol as if they have spares of kidneys and liver ,but when it comes to GMO foods, that's where they draw the line😂😂😂

A guy stuck his head into a barber's shop and asked,

"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."

The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."

The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,

"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour only."

The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Ken, please do me a favor, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back".

A little while later, Ken returned to the shop.

The barber asked, "So where does that guy go whenever he leaves here?"

Ken looked up, with tears in his eyes and said, "To your wife at home."

No Vex!🙏

CC: Copied

I came home from work, tired. I sat down on the sofa and put my feet up. My wife brought me a glass of water. My son gave me a sheet of paper and I read through:

English 17%
Biology 35%
Mathematics 40%
Physics 37%
Chemistry 42%
Economics 12%
Agriculture. 19%
Geography 22%

Suddenly, I lost my temper and started shouting: "What is this? All the time you are on phone and TV! How dare you bring me such marks? How dare you?"
My wife said: "Be patient. Listen...." But I interjected, "Shut up! It's your love and pampering that have spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all!"
My Wife said: "Oh,really?"
I shouted: "No one in our family has performed so badly, ever!"
My son said: "Dad, I am sorry I made you angry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. It is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1977 sir." I looked at the top and it was actually my own report sheet. My name was boldly inscribed on it!
I became humbled, gentle and dumbfounded. Imagine the atmosphere afterwards. Calmness in the air. With a foolish grin on my face, I replied, "Son, you know, in those days, food was scarce."

😁😁😂😂🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

MORAL OF THE STORY

As children are coming home with reports let us sit down with them and talk about them for next year's improvement. Lets not shout at them or abuse them all sorts of abuse.


James 1:19

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." Be blsd

It's Bomet again🤣🤣

MANHUNT FOR MAN WHO SODOMISED A DRUNKARD IN BOMET LAUNCHED

Detectives based in Bomet have launched a manhunt for a suspect who sodomised a drunk man after locking him up in his house for over 10 hours.

In the bizarre incident that occurred in Mosonik village of Kyogong location in Chepalungu, the man who was making merry with his kinsmen imbibing fermented frothy waters at Jumbo club, had excused himself to go for a call of nature when the suspect struck.

Unbeknownst to him, the man only identified as Silas lay in wait under the cover of darkness for his victim.

As the man staggered back to the local, he was accosted by the suspect who instead led him to his house approximately 200 metres away.

Efforts by the victim to raise alarm as he was led by Silas to his chambers were unsuccessful, as his incoherent screams were drowned by the loud stereo in the pub playing local popular hit song ‘Gloria’ as the rest of the equally inebriated revelers slurred and danced along.

The suspect then went against the order of nature and sodomised the helpless 33-year-old victim until late yesterday afternoon, when a passerby came to his rescue after he heard screams coming from the house.

The victim was rescued and rushed to Longisa county and referral hospital for treatment and the relevant tests conducted, as a manhunt for the suspect who fled from his home was immediately launched.

Should anyone have information that may lead to the arrest of the suspect only identified as Silas, 0800 722 203.

https://youtu.be/-VwOMzbU2MQ

Effects of GMO on human health Subscribe to https://www.youtube.com/@totalmansmedia4623

I attended a crusade and someone touched my shoulder from behind and said "YOU WILL WALK " i didn't bother because I knew I was not lame . After the crusade I touched my pocket and couldn't find my wallet which had my fare.Behold , I WALKED ☹️😢

This one killed me 🤣🤣🤣