Sandra Ng - Mindset Coach

It's time to stop playing small
Stop abandoning yourself
Find your voice
Step into your power

Playing small keeps you stuck
Betraying your needs for others
You don't feel seen or heard
You'll feel resentful and have low self worth

So ask yourself:

Who am I playing small for?
Why do I do this?
What needs aren't being met when I do this?
How do I want to be/show up?
How do I take my power back?
What do I need to let go of?
What do I need to make this new version of me possible?

Take some time to reflect on these questions and let me know how you get on ❤️

Trying something new! Don't usually go for dark or red lips!

And also cos pinks and reds I feel emphasise my erm... Upper lip 🙈😂

But I'm being bold and experimenting. I think I like it!

You may think this is a small thing but for a lot of people, especially women. Doing something different to your appearance pushes you way out your comfort zone so you don't do it.

What's something you can do to push you out your comfort zone today?
What have you wanted to try but are scared to because you're worried what others might think?
What are you holding yourself back from doing?

PS why is there no moustache emoji?!!

This last year I've really learned how to surrender

And it's so fu***ng liberating

But it's not been easy.

Surrendering isn't about giving up or failing though which is why some find it hard to do

It's about letting go of how your story should end

Not trying to control the outcome or find all the answers

Accepting what is going on for you and who you are right now

And not shaming, judging or criticising yourself for it

Just noticing and developing deep self awareness of what's going on in your body

Learning to regulate your nervous system

And trusting in yourself

Give it a try and see how freeing it can be 😘❤️

There will always be sunshine after the rain ☔☀️❤️😎

Windy walks!

Found a calm moment to get out in the sunshine and didn’t get blown away which is a bonus!

I’ve seen loads of posts about the storms saying:
Brave the storm! Keep going! Keep pushing through at all costs. Don’t let it break you! Linking it to life & resilience.

But resilience isn’t about pushing through, perseverance & grit. Which can help…but not all the time.

It’s having awareness of whether we have the capacity & are resourced to manage/cope with the storm and developing deep embodied self awareness of what’s going on in our bodies, mind & nervous systems.

And that sometimes means knowing when to stop – AND I don’t just mean self care & rest, go have a bath.

But accepting what’s going on, who you are & how you’re dealing with it – without shaming yourself (cos others have it worse).

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to not know the answers, to go with the flow, to take time to figure out what you need and sometimes run the other way

Learning how to accept the situation and regulate yourself & your emotional responses.

Building connections & communities with others and being creative.

Being hugely aware of your boundaries and what you can and can’t do.

Not buying into hustle culture, false narratives and influencers on social media where being ‘successful’ & ‘strong’ means we’re constantly producing, performing, pleasing, pushing forward and trying to prove yourself.

Which actually damages your resilience.

And letting go of how you think you ‘should’ be dealing with things & doing what feels good & feels right for you in that moment.

Where's your path going? What’s possible for YOU?

There’s so many options & versions of success. But we’re conditioned & pressured to work towards goals that sometimes just aren’t possible.

The reality is that path isn't as easy or straightforward for some of us as it is for others.

Some may never get to the end of that path or reach the things they want. Or rather things culture, society or the world feel are the ‘norms’ that everyone should have or aspire to.

We keep forcing ourselves up these paths, doing ALL the things we think we ‘should’ be doing cos that's what we’re taught.

And that causes a TON of stress, shame, guilt & burnout. Feeling like we failed at trying to be this perfect being.

We feel like we don't belong or fit in & there's something wrong with us.

But actually, there’s factors like systems, institutions, culture, all sorts that we don't have control over that can stop us reaching our dreams.

Dreams that so many people say are possible ‘if you just focus on it & believe!’. Which is crap BTW (& can be harmful)

The truth is, that path is a LOT easier for some people.

BUT that also doesn’t mean we use these factors as an excuse OR hide behind them, so we never push ourselves to achieve.

What we can do is get a little bit curious about what might work, different options, what’s in your control & look at things through a different lens.

It's taking a step back & embracing & accepting who you are & where you are in life & showing up with courage without shame.

Doing things that make you feel seen, heard & that you BELONG.

And working towards things that ARE possible for you & carving out your own path rather than trying to follow everyone else's.

When you learn how. It’s liberating AF!

PS This is the kind of stuff we do in my coaching sessions.

Learning how to regulate your nervous system, show up with courage, feel seen, heard, find your voice, stop hiding & build deep self-trust & acceptance so you can let go of shame & feel fu***ng brilliant. (most of the time)

You should book a call. Let's do this!
Comment or DM with ‘ME!’

Very excited to share I've been asked to guest speak for Peanut App which is a huge platform and safe space for women to connect and find support with those at a similar stage in life.

From Trying to conceive, pregnancy, motherhood, loss and menopause.

I'll be talking about Letting Go Of Perfectionism

Info below 👇🏽👇🏽

It's easy to get caught up in perfectionism in life.

From your career or running a business to relationships, if you're trying to conceive or have become a new mother and more.

Spending hours trying to do all the things and get everything right.

Which sucks and leaves you feeling pretty rubbish.

Being stuck in the spiral creates so much self doubt, low confidence, feeling not good enough and constantly second guessing yourself which can easily take over your life.

Come join me to learn how to

💥 Break free from self sabotaging patterns

✨ Develop self trust and self acceptance of who you are and where you are in life

❤️ Build self confidence and courage so you can overcome fear and stop letting it hold you back.

Will share link in stories and below

Stop trying to fix yourself.

👉🏼I remember the hours I spent worrying, obsessing, feeling ashamed. That I was doing something wrong.

I spent hours & hours on google, trying to find answers.

I bought a ton of self- help books as I thought they would help improve my life. I started meditating, doing yoga, trying all sorts.


I was focusing on the negatives, the stuff I couldn’t do, my mistakes, failures, what I hadn't done.
I kept thinking, ‘this isn’t who I am’, ‘why am I like this’

The more I focused on what was ‘wrong’ with me. It made me feel worse.

Because I wasn’t broken. It felt that way, but I wasn’t.

And neither are you.

⚡When you look at self help & self development as something to help you ‘fix’ what’s wrong.
You’re already starting from a negative mindset and it will be harder for you to make the changes you want. ⚡


Because you’re focusing on what you don’t have, what you can’t do. You’ll feel guilty & that you ‘should’ be better. You’ll always feel like something is missing.

You’ll obsess over trying to get it right & perfect. You’ll lose sleep at night overthinking & worrying about all the things you didn’t do or ‘should’ have done.

When the reality is. There is no perfect way. We need to stop judging ourselves on societal expectations and conditioning that make you feel like your a failure unless you tick certain boxes.

When I stopped trying to ‘fix’ my life. I became happier & fulfilled.

Because I accepted who I was, where I was & realised that there are no ‘rules’.

You’re not broken. You don’t need to be ‘fixed’. You don’t need to be better. You’re not failing.

You’re always learning, experiencing, growing, trying things & trying again.

You’re scars and differences are your strengths & part of your story.

So celebrate where you are & remind yourself daily of how far you’ve come.

Don't let others s**tty opinions determine your life

Sandra Ng - Mindset Coach updated their information in their About section.

Sandra Ng - Mindset Coach updated their business hours.

Never thought we’d be lighting one of these candles.
Cos we never thought we’d get pregnant after our infertility/IVF journey

We naively assumed once we got pregnant, we’d have that baby of our dreams
One that we would've been holding now
We became parents in that moment

The loss is devastating, painful, confusing & scary.
And the grief & trauma never leaves. We don’t only feel it during these awareness weeks. We feel it ALL the time. Because our baby died.

Yet so many can treat baby/pregnancy loss like it doesn’t matter
We need to talk about it & show support all year round. Not just during awareness months.

Our grief needs to be seen, heard & validated. But instead are often expected to move on & get over it.

And there's the unhelpful, insensitive comments invalidating people's feelings.

Never the intention, but the IMPACT is harmful. It shuts grieving parents down, traumatises them, they feel isolated, ashamed, guilty & push away their own needs & emotions
We don’t talk about it because we’re sick of hearing things like:

Everything happens for a reason/was God's plan
Stay strong/positive/keep going
Just relax/go on holiday/stop thinking about it and it will happen
At least you have a child/can get pregnant/ have xyz
Look at the silver lining/be grateful
Just believe it and it will happen!
Have you thought about adoption?Have you tried?
My Mum’s, cousins, neighbours had IVF/miscarriages and now has...

Know that we don’t need to be ‘fixed’, receive unsolicited advice or need to be positive.

We need to sit in our grief, feel it & heal. We need love, support & people to listen, not talk.

Ask things like:

How are you coping/What can I do/what do you need?
I’m here to listen to how you feel
Your feelings are valid/I’m with you
Take all the time you need
Hold their hand while they cry

If you're grieving you don’t need to stay positive, strong, grateful

It doesn’t matter others have it worse. You aren’t bringing people down.

You don’t have to feel shame guilt & like you’ve failed.

It's ok to cry, scream & feel s**t.
You're doing the best you can.
And I'm with you in this 🤗

To the baby we never got to meet. Always loved ❤️❤️

Listen up! You're so strong, so capable. And you probably don't even know.

Because you find it so hard to identify your strengths and spend most of the time putting yourself down or brushing off compliments.

You have blind spots to things that others see. But you can’t. You don't value your own capabilities; cos you view yourself through a filter. You probably spend hours comparing yourself to everyone else.

And you’ve attached all these labels to yourself that make you think you don't have any strengths but loads of weaknesses

It keeps you stuck, feeling worthlessness & doubting yourself. You keep thinking you've failed & you're never going to get anywhere.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can tap into those strengths; you can uncover them. They ARE there.

And I can help you bring them out! Using StrengthscopeTM, which is a tool that helps uncover your hidden strengths.

Rather than putting you into ‘boxes’ like other personality tests, it focuses on all the unique magic YOU have, that makes YOU truly different & how to show up as YOU.

So, if you find it hard to even name 2/3 of your strengths. This tool is for you! It’s amazing! It helps you uncover so much, reach your potential and stop holding yourself back.

What could you do if you started to show up with all those strengths & superpowers?

I use StrengthscopeTM with my clients. We look at how & when you can use these strengths to help you get clarity, move forward, figure out what you want in life & how to achieve your goals.

So if you're ready to start tapping into your superpowers and work with me..Send me a DM

Infertility is NOT your fault. You are NOT to blame.

I get it, it’s hard when you have no answers…

It's totally normal & okay to feel this way

When you try everything, and it doesn’t work

The pain from the losses & the heartache

The stress & overwhelm from the uncertainty

The lonliness & emptiness

Feeling helpless & hopeless & numb

You feel like you’ve failed and there’s something wrong with you

But there’s not. It’s not your fault.

Infertility is a disease.

You wouldn’t say to someone with heart disease, cancer, auto immune disease, brain tumour, disabilities, Alzheimer’s, kidney disease (you get the picture) that they were to blame, would you?

Or that it was their fault that their body didn’t function correctly...

So why do you say this to yourself?

Blaming, shaming & feeling guilt for something that isn’t in your control?

We’ve all done it.

Of course you can try things to help improve the situation as much a possible, but the outcome is completely out of your control.

And I guess that’s the hardest bit to accept.

So your feelings are absolutely valid. This s**t isn't easy to deal with.

But please don’t keep beating yourself up.

You are not to blame.
You’ve not done anything wrong.
It’s not your fault.
(The same applies to pregnancy loss btw)

When you can let go of this, it takes so much pressure off.

Trust me. I know.

If you'd like my support with this I work with couples going through IVF. Send me a DM.

You don’t have to try and do all the things all the time cos you can’t say no

You don’t have to keep everyone in your life happy

You don’t have to overload yourself to the point of burnout

You don’t have to spend time with people who drain your energy cos your afraid of being judged

You don’t have to please everyone around you cos you’re worried about what they think

You don’t have to do things for others all the time cos you feel bad if you don't

You don’t have to keep putting pressure on yourself to get everything right

You don’t have to keep overthinking situations & beating yourself up over stuff that doesn’t actually matter

You don’t have to control everything cos you don’t like uncertainty

You don’t have to keep yourself stuck in situations that make you miserable cos you’re scared of doing something different

You don’t have to keep sacrificing your happiness, health & wellbeing cos you’re constantly seeking approval from others

The truth is those are choices. Choices that YOU make, but also choices you've complete control over that you CAN change.

It’s your limiting beliefs telling you that you have to keep living this way.

You don’t have to do ANY of those things to prove that you're good enough.

You don’t have to keep choosing things that are:

Making you overwhelmed, stressed, anxious or miserable
Causing burnout & ill health
Draining your energy, mentally & physically
Causing you to play small & stay stuck in a cycle of guilt, shame & beating yourself up

Making you stay awake at night or lose hours overthinking & worrying about what you should have done or should be doing
Causing you to compare yourself to others & get caught in cycles of self doubt & procrastination

You CAN choose differently. But do you want to?

If you’re fed up of feeling this way & ready to make the change. Comment below or DM to chat about my 1-1 coaching.

What is it you're really scared of?
Losing friends....
Being judged....
Looking stupid....

What others think of you....
Failing...
Making mistakes...
Starting again...
Taking risks...
Uncertainty....
or ALL of those?
How many times have you felt the fear, spending hours worrying and thinking the worst, for things to turn out a lot better than you expected?
Fear creates fight, flight or freeze and that drives your actions.
But it also drives inaction, A LOT!
Fear protects you from harm, so you avoid things that make you feel uncomfortable, icky and that you don't like.
But, here's the thing.
If you really want to start living the life that you want.

Doing the things you've always wanted to do

Going after those opportunities

Speaking up for things that are important

Feeling seen and heard

Having more courage, confidence and resilience

Making decisions for you in line with your own values not others

Walking away from people or situations that are not good for you

It's time to move past the fear and stop holding yourself back!
It starts with dipping your toe in. Baby steps

I can help you do this and get some clarity of where you are now, where you want to be, what the blocks are and how negative self talk, patterns and beliefs that you probably aren't even aware of, are getting in the way of that.

Getting in the way of you showing up as your true self, moving forward to that goal that you always talk about but never seem to get and truly accepting yourself for who you are and where you are in life.

If you want to take the step and find out about my coaching packages, comment below or send me a DM.

If you want to bring more joy & fulfilment into your life & feel less overwhelmed & stressed.

Here's a quick exercise....

Write down everything that brings you joy, energy & helps you feel like you're in flow....

Even the tiny little things.

Then write down everything you do on a day to day basis.

Compare them. Look at the gaps.

Where do you need to focus your time & energy? What's missing? What do you need more of?

What can you declutter that isn't important?

I use this with my clients and it's really powerful. One was burnt out & fed up.

Everything was getting on top of them and using this helped them feel excited, determined, confident & energised.

I work through it regularly, when I'm stuck and feeling a bit meh, distracted and no energy. When I'd rather have a nap & watch s**t TV instead of doing work.

(Napping & watching s**t TV is not a bad thing BTW....)

But it can help you find your flow & feel awesome.

If you're feeling stuck & like your brain is a bit foggy and full and self doubt is holding you back from taking action...

DM me to find out about how I can help with my 1-1 packages. I have space for one more 1-1 client this month :)

Because you already are who you want to be ❤️

Type yes if you agree

QUIZ TIME! Answer YES or NO to these statements

You feel like a fraud....

You're perfectionist,

A bit of a control freak.....

Always put in 200% effort (or more!)....

Feel like you don't know enough

When you achieve & succeed, you put it down to luck

You hate compliments & feel you don't deserve them

You don't feel good enough & don't measure up

You burn out. You're exhausted

Recognise this?

Then....HELLO IMPOSTER SYNDROME!

Hey I have it at times, especially being a biz owner.

I'd get stressed about how far behind I was compared to other coaches. Think my biz was failing.

Constantly signing up to course after course before I start selling my own courses, because I don't feel confident about what I know.

Working all day & night getting everything in place.

Over giving & seeking validation from others

When I was asked to Judge awards or have had 400 people sign up to my webinars...laughed & thought, why the hell is anyone listening to me?

Imposter Syndrome can cause so much anxiety, stress & make you feel worthless.

But over time, I've taken away it's power.

And you can too.

You can get rid self doubt, self sabotage, feeling anxious, stressed & out of your depth.

You can FINALLY stop trying so hard to prove yourself & undermining yourself.

You'll definitely feel more confident, stop being crippled by fear & stop playing small.

BUT to do this, you need to start asking yourself some HARD questions

About your beliefs, your assumptions, your blocks, your stories & your habits.

Then you can start rewriting your story & creating your own identity.

Not comparing yourself to others & trying to create a life & happiness based on someone else, others expectations & what they're doing.

You can accept yourself for who you are & where you are in life & not feel guilt or shame.

So, if you're ready to start being who YOU want to be....

Book a free chat to find out how I can help you. I've got a couple of 1-1 slots available. Just DM me now to get started.

You feel helpless, wonder why things always happen to you, why you always have bad luck.

You feel you have no control over what happens and you can't escape negative situations.

You feel like giving up, cos what's the point in trying as things never work out for you.

It's called Learned Helplessness a theory developed by Seligman, Maier and Overmier

If you've ever felt like this then it's down to negative habits, patterns and behaviours that you've learned and are now stored away in your brain, making you feel like s**t.

Your ego getting in the way and creating a version of you that isn't a true reflection of who you really are or what you're capable of.

To overcome it, you can develop resiliency.

Break the habits, reframe the patterns and challenge the negative thoughts.

If you're ready to start changing these patterns, DM me to arrange a chat to see how we can work together

Curiosity and self awareness takes courage. To uncover your hard, horrible, scary emotions & face into them.

Be open & honest. Own up to your assumptions, excuses, the things you hide behind & digging deep into those.

Explore resentment, shame, failure, vulnerability, guilt, boundaries. Be ready to see stuff you really don't like.

Talk about feelings of shame, how you feel and ask for what you need.

Regret is positive, to live without regret doesn't mean living with courage, it means living with no reflection.

Regret reminds you that change and growth are necessary.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is strength.

So is accepting yourself for who you are and where you are in life no matter what's happened to you in the past, the mistakes you've made or the things you've done.

Self acceptance and self worth were the key themes in my 6 week course.

Helping people see themselves for who they truly are and that they are unique, special and more than good enough.

Do you accept yourself or do you beat yourself up for all the things you should do or be or have?