One Step Closer Psychology

Should S*x be Spontaneous or Scheduled?

Many people have a misconception that s*x must always be a passionate and spontaneous act. This is often a mistaken expectation that arises once people enter long-term relationships. The reason for this misconception is usually based on our perception of s*x during the initial stages of a romantic relationship.

Interestingly, we tend to have more opportunities for passion during the early stages of romantic relationships. The misconception arises when we realize that s*x in long-term relationships is no longer as fresh, passionate, or spontaneous as it once was, and gradually, it becomes less important.

In reality, in a committed long-term relationship, it's impossible to maintain that initial passion indefinitely. As time goes on, many aspects of daily life, such as work and family, gradually take precedence over the passionate moments between partners. Some individuals become so busy with children and careers that they opt for quick and convenient solutions to their s*xual desires, leading to what can be described as a s*xless marriage.

However, this approach is quite superficial and lacks the interaction and connection between partners. Over time, their bodies become less familiar to each other, leading to emotional distance.

Recommendation: In life, there are things that are important but not urgent. S*xual intimacy in a long-term relationship falls into this category. It's essential to let go of the unrealistic expectation of maintaining the fiery passion from the early stages and instead focus on enjoying physical intimacy with each other, as it is the key to sustaining s*xual satisfaction in a long-term relationship.

This kind of intimacy needs to be deliberately scheduled in the midst of busy lives. There's no such thing as a free lunch; this is what we call "managing a relationship".

Let's remind ourselves that in life, many things are important but not urgent. Neglecting each other's s*xual needs in the long run will only lead to suppressed desires that will eventually surface. The feeling of physical loneliness can unexpectedly pounce on the relationship like a wild beast.

Love is not just about emotional connection; it also involves physical interaction. Creating a unique sense of intimacy for each other's bodies is crucial.

Therefore, in a long-term relationship, scheduling s*x in advance is necessary. Don't let s*x become a byproduct of infatuation, and certainly don't limit it to reproduction.

Some individuals may be hesitant due to fears of losing their skills, performance anxiety, or a lack of mood at the scheduled time. In my opinion, life doesn't always require spontaneity; sometimes, taking action can lead to passion. How one performs depends on their expectations and experiences. Let go of expectations and enjoy the moment.

Was delighted to be invited to share some experience with OUM Masters in Counselling students.

I was touched by an attentive and enthusiastic crowd. They were awesome.

At the same time, I received a lot of encouragement and noticed the deficiencies in the current training of professionals in the field of s*xuality.

All these responses reminded me that there is still a long way to introduce s*xuality into mental health professional training, it also encouraged and strengthened my determination to continue on this path.

I am grateful to be interviewed by a reporter from the MalayMail to talk about what is good s*x?

Hope it spices up things for you in bed.

Happy reading. 😁

‘Relax, be present’: Malaysian expert talks about what makes for good s*x KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 14 — Far from what po*******hy might tell us, great s*xual experience seems to have little to do with the in*******se duration, moaning and screaming...

Completed a training workshop for a group of medical allied professionals (physiotherapist, traditional Chinese physician, dietitian and fitness trainer) over the weekend on Motivational Interviewing (MI).

The ability to communicating with our clients effectively is an essential part in delivering our service. This workshop is to provide add-on value besides their professional knowledge.

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