Femii pranks

Them teach you for sch say non living things can't move on their own

Yet u still dey believe say table dey turn 🙄🙄🙄

Can someone please help me to spell
OLOFASODEN
I'm in exam hall and I need the answers now

😄+❤️❤️=😍

😄+💧=😅

😚+❤️=😘

😃+⭐⭐=🤩

😏+🕶️=😎
Drop yours don't spoil the fun🥵

First born♥️
Second born💛
Third born💙
Fourth born🤍
Last born💚

This bee🐝is bee🐝the bee🐝
Only bee🐝way bee🐝to bee🐝
Keep bee🐝a bee🐝fool bee🐝
Busy bee🐝
Now read it again without bee🐝
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😋😋

7 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE MAD🤷🏼‍♀️😲🤪🧐😏.

1..If you've ever counted 1.2.3 before pouring water on your body, you're mad. 🧐🤪😲😳🥺😣😝

2..If you ever thought the moon use to follow u around, ahh you're mad.
😳😲🤪🧐🤦🤦🤷🏼‍♀️😋😏

3..If you've ever use yur sim 1, to call yur sim 2🤳 in de same phone, believe me, ya mad..🤳🤪😲😳😂😣😒

4..if you've ever been talkin💋 to yur self, 🧘but when someone looks at you, 🙄you pretend to be singing,😲 abeg you're pararelly mad.😉🤔😝😛😲🤷🏼‍♀️🤪😏

5..You went into yur room, but forgot what to pick, you went out but you still remember,🚶 then come back...sorry, ya mad.🤪🙆😜😛😝🙁🤭☝️😉🤔

6..Yur phone 🤳is at one percent, nepa bought light, but becuz of chat,🤳 u refuse to plug, now dem don take light,,you are shouting ahhhh☝️..kai ahswear ya mad.😝😛😜🙆🤪🤭

7..You read all this but you did not do any of them your are perpetually mad😏😏😏😁😁😁🤣🤣
Good Morning Fams

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When I was a kid, my dad bought a new car and drove us to church one Sunday. It was a prophetic service and our pastor was being used by God that day to deliver people from pøverty.

Suddenly, our pastor looked at my dadand said, "Daddy Emmanuel, 🙄God is set to bless you!"👌

My mum jumped up and shouted excitedly,😳😋 "Amen!!!"My dad was excited too.☺️

The pastor then came closer, placed his hand on my dad's head and prayed for him.😚🥰

As our pastor turned to climb the alter, God told him something. 😌
He støpped, looked at my dad and said, "Daddy Emmanuel, 🙄 you bought a new car last week?🤔
""Yes sir." ☺️
my dad responded with much surprise on his face.😳
Then our pastor said, "God said I should tell you to sow your CAR KEY into my life."😏☺️

I was shøcked 😲 that my dad did not argue with the pastor,😏he just put his hand in his pocket, brought out the car key and gave to our pastor.😲😔

After about 5 minutes, my dad stood up, went outside the church, 😏he didn't even wait till the end of the service.🥺

I could see him boarding an Okada going home.😔
"He must be very wørried."😢 I reasoned in utter fēar and confusiøn.🤦🏻‍♂️

After
a while, he returned to church with the SPARE KEY of his car and drove the car back to the house. 😳😌

I was so stunned at what I was seeing. When I asked him why he acted that way🙄🤔

he.said, "Emmanuel, use your brain,😏 the pastor asked for the KEY and NOT the CAR."😉😉😏🚶

One word for my dad🙂😋😋

Cutie 🥰, please add or follow this profiles for more interesting jokes 🙏
Femii pranks

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When You Go to MECHANIC workshop, You'll see OIL on the Ground, Salon You'll see HAIR..What Exactly is WRONG with Our BANKS?!

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TRAFFIC AND GO SLOW

My brother the thing is very very clear , u understand. ..
😒😒

Traffic is an English go slow
🤣🤣

Go slow is a Nigeria traffic
🙄🙄

Traffic is caused by traffic light
😫😫

Go slow is caused by two useless driver
😒😒😒

Traffic is controlled by traffic light
🤥🤥

While go slow is controlled by koboko slam
🤣🤣

Traffic u already know the cause
💁💁

But no mata how u stretch ur neck u can never see the cause of go slow
🥵🥵

But the oga kapatapata of them all is HOLD Up
🥶🥶

Hold up is a permanent go slow
🤣🤣

In traffic u buy gala
😋😋

In go slow u buy bread
🥴🥴

But in hold up u learn how to bake bread
🤦🤦

Traffic can make u miss ur flight
😮😮

Go slow can make u miss ur appointment
😂😂

But hold up can make u lose ur job
😝😝

Do u know that if u re in a hold up nd u re beside a tipper. Wen u finally leave the hold up u will be smelling like a tipper driver
😅😄

A man was in a hold up and his wife called him that she has put to bed wen the man finally left the hold up.It was the boy that came to open the door for him
😎😎

Lagos will give u job but hold up will take it away from u. Hold up is the General Overseer of them all
😌😌

Hold up doesn't live anywhere

Hold up lives in Lagos

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Some people can joke with their destiny Sha
How can you send fake alert to babalawo👍👍
🙄🙆🏃🤷🙄😒😏

Una de drink pure water for rainy season..
Awwnn 🤭

Rich kids

Them put am, u cry😭 them remove am , u Put am back😒
children & feeding Bottle sef🙄💃

If the owner of Facebook is a comrade,
Notifications will be like;

"Efe Chukwu been comment on your post o. E never tey sha, just 7 hours ago."

"Baba, check out these comrades na, you fit sabi them."

"Omo, Ijebu Babe don accept your friend request o. Try message am. The babe hot dìē!"

"Femi been invite you make you like one page like that. No like am, guy. That boy no geh sense."

"Guy, e get shooting wey happen for Maiduguri o. Mark yourself safe na. I know say you dey Enugu, but do am. Your friends dey do am.

"Chinedu and 27 others dey do birthday today o. You no go like send am 'A King was born today'"?

"E get person wey talk say your picture no fine. You no go like reply am with vawulence? peace is not an option 🙄

"Who tell you make you insūlt person? Why you call am werey? Unto community standards, you don dey restricted for 90 days. If e sure for you, open another account, we go still change am for you, werey!"

Always believe in vawulence

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I was a vîrgin.

I had never had sêx before.

I knew nothing about it.

My parents married a girl for me.

On the first night after the marriage, I entered the bedroom only to see my wife entirely nāked. I was totally shocked because I had never seen a nåked woman in my life.

She asked; "Do you know what I want?"

I answered; "NO!"

She then laid on the bed and asked me again;

"Do you know what I want?"

And I replied; "NO!"

She now spread her bôdy on the bed and opened her lêgs wide and asked me once again;

"Do you know what I want??!"

I started laughing!! After laughing for about 4 minutes, I answered;

"Yes, you want to have the whole bed and sleep Alone. Don't worry I will sleep on the floor

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I bellowed at my husband. "What do you take me for? A fool?"

Who have you been cheating on me with for the past three days?"

My husband sighted and resigned to his fate. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry, you know I can't lie to you.
I've told you nothing but the truth. I didn't cheat on you and I'll never do so"

I looked at him with disdain, holding a pestle and a scapula in my hands.

A part of me wanted to sma.sh it on his head but I restrained myself.

My husband continued "babe, I swear, I neither lodged into any hotel nor saw another woman"

"Okay where have you been for the past Three days, I want the real truth"

"Babe I can't change my words, It was a fish that swallowed me for the past Three days, I was even....."

Sharrapp! I interrupted
Inside a fish for the past three days and you are still alive?

Do I look like a kid to you?

"If you doubt me we can go to the sea and ask the fish" my husband added.

I gazed at him quietly then suddenly made after him with a pestle while he grabbed his travelling bags and fled.

"I'm off to Ninneveh, we'll discuss better when I return"

I returned fuming, accepting the fact that my husband is either insane or mad.

The story of Jonah from the wife's perspective as narratted on the papers of vawulence.

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Esther wey dey do bleaching is called establishment
Kai, oil dey my head😋

In America, when adults are talking, the kids excuse themselves
But in Africa, the kids would even be contributing in the gist...

To avoid high BP
Never promise we last born money!
😂😂💔

Please help me
I want to spell farmer C...that place wey Dem dey buy drugs 🙄

Maturity is when you understand that no woman is dating only one man no matter how innocent she is 😌😌

Nigerian mathematics.
Class work 1+1=2
Examination...A bus has 4tyres and 18sits, find the age of the conductor😳

Aftr introducing my girlfriend to my dad, he said to me son u are blind, infact love is blind
Guys try date fine girl

A Manchester united fan invited me for his wedding today
I will wear my Manchester city jersey 👽👽👽

Never will I die of hunger when my neighbor's chicken is alive
😐😐😐😐
😋😋😋
😂😂😂

Bikeman hit me and gave me 500H
Imagine if it's a trailer 🥱😋

I borrowed 4,500 from MTN since 2015. Today I paid 500 and i saw their message,"Dear customer, Na God go judge u”
😂

Population in Nigeria.
Men=67million,
Women=173million. But all the women are in serious relationship.🤨🙃

The day I will post my babe here.. The blind will walk, the deaf will see, the lame will hear, even the dead will die 😂

Girls will be like,all I want from him is Care,Attention,Support and Honesty.
Ok put all the first latter's together..🤣🤣🤣

I need a lady who will take me out for dinner, feed me, take me to an hotel use me, then dump me😊😊😏😏

Grace is That moment you just left the class and you hear 👂 “everybody kneel down"

°Ask me based on ur battery°
• 1% Age
• 2% Mum or Dad
• 3% county
• 4% fav letter
• 5% religion
• 6% my crush
• 7% can we be friends
• 8% longest friendship
• 9% shortest friendship
• 10% gender identity
• 11% long/short hair
• 12% idol
• 13% dream vacation
• 14% favourite place
• 15% sad or happy movies
• 16% do I dance
• 17% are you happy
• 18% what am I to you
• 19% fav season
• 20% fav YouTuber
• 21% sleep or no sleep
• 22% can we be besties
• 23% most unforgettable experience
• 24% day or night person
• 25% money or love
• 26% when did you last fall in love
• 27% fav subject
• 28% first letter of your crush
• 29% fav colour
• 30% fav animal
• 31% fav gener of music
• 32% allergies
• 33% sweet or sour
• 34% salty or spicy
• 35% worst experience
• 36% best experience
• 37% do you lie
• 38% fav sport
• 39% dream job
• 40% fav musician
• 41% fav aesthetic
• 42% pop or classical
• 43% fav composer
• 44% do you have siblings
• 45% fav singers
• 46% fav band
• 47% fav song
• 48% fav drink
• 49% fav meal
• 50% fav dessert
• 51% fav snack
• 52% partner in crime?
• 53% would you hug me
• 54% do you believe in ghost
• 55% are you scared of anything
• 56% are you a ghoster
• 57% are you a sinner
• 58% do you hate your brother
• 59% do you hate me
• 60% do you love me
• 61% fav person
• 62% have you ever thought about someone
• 63% have you ever dreamt about someone
• 64% favourite country
• 65% do you have a crush
• 66% favourite item
• 67% fav subject
• 68% dream career
• 69% fav personality
• 70% fav animal
• 71% have you ever cried because of
someone
• 72% what's your addiction
• 73% what's my biggest dream
• 74% fav phone brand
• 75% fav movie
• 76% fav movie
• 77% fav movie genre
• 78% Good or bad student
• 79% quiet or noisy
• 80% would u give your life to someone
• 81% when you are jealous do u show it
•82% are u toxic
•83% lunchtime or snack time
•84% how many siblings do u have
•85% any questions
•86% any questions
•87% worst thing u done
•88%-100% any questions

During Sé×. when the guy hits D right spot
American: O yeah bby
Naija: Na there emeka, I swear na there 🤣

GIRL: I have s!nned; I called my boyfriend a bāstārd.

PASTOR: So wat did he do to deserve dat?

GIRL: He k!ssed me.
PASTOR: You mean like this? The pastor k!ssed the girl.
GIRL: Yes!
PASTOR: Well, dats no reason to call him a bāstārd.

GIRL: But he touched my breãst
PASTOR: U mean like this? The pastor touched her breãst.
GIRL: Yes!
PASTOR: Thats no reason to call him a bāstārd.

©️ Femii pranks

GIRL: But, he took off my clothes and had s£× with me!
PASTOR: You mean like this? The pastor took off her clothes and had s£× with the girl.
GIRL: Yes
PASTOR: Well, thats also no reason to call him a bāstārd.

GIRL: Then he told me he has HIV

PASTOR: U are a BĀSTĀĀĀĀRD!!!

God's blessings to everyone that will encourage me by adding or following this profiles for more interesting jokes 🙏
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FemFemii pranksaFemii pranksod bless you abundantly 🥰🙏

A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door.
She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there.

He asks the lady, "Do you have a Va**na?"
She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Va**na?"
She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just incase this guy shows up again."

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door.
The husband whisperes to the wife, "Honey, im going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the
question because I want to a see where he's going with this."
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, "Do you have a Va**na?"
"Yes I do." says the lady.
The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's Va**na and start using yours!!.

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I'm old enough to live alone
Just that my parents don't want to pack out 🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣

She called me 'Sugar'
I answered 'yes my groundnuts'
She blocked me 😔
I think say we want soak garri 🤷🏼‍♂️

One hausa girl was shouting hamisu hamisu hamisu
I never knew she was trying to say I miss u 😳

My name is SEUN Back in Primary
school, I was very poor in maths.
During exams, I’d get between 2% and
8%. The
results used to be announced
sequentially, that is from the lowest to
the highest marks. So I would always
be the first or second to be called out
and flogged.
One day, the maths results were
announced and my name wasn’t
among the first to be called out.
The teacher got to 30%, 40%, 50%,
60% and 70%, still my paper had not
been called out.
Everyone in the class kept looking at
me asking, SEUN what’s up? How did
you pass this exam?” And I was like.. "Well, na God o"
By the time the teacher got to 80%, I
was already grinning in excitement.
When he got to 90%, he had only one
paper remaining. I then asked myself,
could I have scored 90% in maths? I
was feeling very anxious and happy
now. It was obvious my dreams and
prayers have been answered.
The whole class was amazed as
everyone kept looking at me. It was
unbelievable.
Finally the teacher looked up and said,
“One silly student here did not write
his name on the paper and he scored
0%. Who hasn't received his paper
yet?”
The whole class echoed:
SEUN, na SEUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!oooooo
In fact, I was hospitalized for 2weeks.
* * * * * *
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