Imperium Tv

Season's greetings to you all

Is real mtn users only have done mine 😘

😀😀😀SUNDAY SMILE😃😃😃

1. Handsome guy + beautiful girl = fake relationship.

One of you must be ugly for the relationship to last.
😐😐😐😐

2. Even if she doesn't check your phone, she knows when you're cheating or talking to another woman...

It's a gift Satan give them.
😑😑😑😑

3. May we never fall in love with a lady who takes relationship advice from a hairdressing salon.
😂😂😂😂😂😂

4. Imagine after s*x you heard some children from the window saying"let's go,they have finished" me
😂😂😂😂😂

5. Who else noticed that people who gives the best relationship quotes are either out of relationship or in an abusive one.

This life will never balance like this na
😜😜😜😜

6. You went to charge your Tecno phone, they played tesumole you jumped up and stepped on iPhone 11 pro.......

esu ti pada ba tie je.
😂😂😂😂

7. Most girls don't cry after break up these days,

they behave like cashier's in the bank...

NEXT CUSTOMER PLEASE
😊😊😊😊

8. If you keep hating on people's success,it's not a curse you can never grow.
😕😕😕

9. There's nothing more painful than getting "blocked" by the person you are planning to "block"
😆😆😆😆

10. Your ex is like a prison, if you go back there again, it means that you didn't learn your lesson
😞😞😞

11. "If you blow air into the sharpener, it will start to malfunction"

how many of us fell for that lie.
😹😹😹😹😹😹

12. You borrow my gas to boil water and I'm perceiving beans...

Neighbor why na
😠😠😠

13. When dating a Nigerian girl just put it in mind that

love ❤is important.....

money💰 is importanter and car 🚗is importantest .
😂😂😂😂😂

14. In Nigeria nothing gives you more joy than having your own personal charger
😊😊😊😊

15. It is only in Nigeria that you will see a girl named peace fighting in the garage.
😂😂😂😂😂

16. Buying things on credit to impress people on your wedding ceremony day is the beginning of your marriage failure
😕😕😕😕

17. Don't lose yourself trying to impress us on social media,😕😕

we are not your real friends and we don't care.
😌😌😌😌

18. Any time you are asked how many years of working experience you have...

Just calculate your age and use that. Growing up in Africa is a Job.
😑😑😑

19. Each time I bring food or snacks home, I don't know why my siblings look at me as if we are related.
😕😕😕

20. You have not started facing challenges if you have never shouted "who has two pen"
😑😑😑

21. You got her pregnant and you said it by accident😳😳

When did your s***m Start attending driving school?????
😂😂😂😂😂😂

HAPPY SUNDAY💛💛💛

MORNING JOKES 😂😉
1. Nigerians will never believe u are sick until uVreject delicious foods. Naija I hail oo
2. Yesterday, I saw a book titled "how to solve fifty percent of ur problem" nd I bought two
3. My first day at boarding school, I was served rice and I was still waiting for stew when one guy tapped me from d back nd said "bros, na jollof rice b dat oo" I nearly cried
4. The greatest shock u can get is having s*x with ur pregnant wife and the hand of d child grabbed ur dick and shouted "papa my eye oo"
5. The way my English as improved, it makes me feel photosynthesiscally
6. I thought my situation is worsen until I met a friend who is still paying his wedding loan after divorce
7. My friend mixed tramadol with w**d, guess what. The idiot is now eating bread with kiwi polish
8. Come to think of it, I have never seen ambulance in a filling station do those vehicles use blood
9. My sister if he tells u "I love you from the bottom of my heart", ask him who is at the top. I hate nonsense lie
10. I grew up in a country where the answer to "where are u going is I am coming"
God bless every hand that will react and comment
THE END

Good afternoon Sir's /Ma's
Have a wonderful weekend

😹 😂 😂 😂
1. Cute guys will always walk up to a lady with charming eyes, and say "my friend over there likes you" and he will point at one monkey 🙊 with head like kosoa half plot.......
😊 😊 😂
2. I never knew this covid 19 was serious 😒 until I saw a doctor eating bread 🍞 with drip 💦
😹 😹 😹 😹
3. Welcome to nigeria where people boost of insanity...... They will be Like, I dey mad ooooo, my head dey sawaooo
The opponent will be like " no be only you mad oooo me self, my head no dey house...... 😂 😂
Where your head come dey before, house of assembly 😂 😂 🚶 🚶 🚶
4. I just broke 💔 up with my Benin girl friend and now she is at her village, my mummy told me that woman will kill me one day, am now seeing otapiapia(insecticide) as energy giving drink...... 😥 😥 😹 😹
5. A girl in my compound said lion is domestic animal trained in a poultry, I was still correcting her when she said science is the best answer to a fool 😹 😂 😂 😂 lo and behold i fainted 😊
6. Kudos to those guys that usually say " I see my future kids in your eyes" Welldone chairman of national population census, hope you are seeing pampers, golden morn and naming ceremony....
Yeeee who stone me 🏃 🏃 🏃 😂 😂
7. That moment you and your dad ague over football ⚽ and he says" kante plays better than messi" that you say see this mumu ooo
Fada lord lemme come and be going 🚶 🚶 🚶
8. Assuming bible were written in nigeria Gen1:3 will be like
God said let there be light and nepa say for which area..... ‼‼▪
9. that moment you want to give ten naira to the offering box and heavy breeze blows the money from your hand to the alter..... 😖 😖 😥 😥
all eyes on me .... 😂 😂
10. I taught have seen it all until I saw a church in enugu named " operation carry devil nack for ground bible ministry 😊 😊 😂
9ja we are moving forward..... 😂
Pls like 👍 and comment
Love 💗 you all
Which number moved you

WELCOME TO NIGERIA
®Where s*x is free
and love is expensive.
®Where loosing a phone is more painful
than loosing VIRGINITY.
®Where if you don't cheat on
your partner, you are not sharp and smart.
®Where Bathrooms
have become photo STUDIO.
®Where getting a GALAXY
phone is greater than achieving
a DEGREE.
®Where yahoo boys
have brighter future than graduates.
®Where temples are
turned into dating points.
®Where worshipping God in
truth & spirit is difficult.
®Where lies are turned into
realities.
®Where ladies fear Pregnancy than HIV...
®Where pizza delivery is faster than
emergency response.
®Where people fear thieves, robbers &
Boko Haram than God...
®Where people go to Church with BB chargers rather
than Bible.
®Where guys are scared of
getting married but love to
have s*x...
®Where we have
highest number of musicians
due to unemployment.
®Where the bigger
your offence the
smaller your punishment and
vice versa...
®Where the number of Churches & Mosques
are more than the
worshippers...
®Where we say "Up NEPA" more than we say
"Praise THE LORD"...
®Where a school drop-out politician is Ten
Times richer and more
respected than a Professor...
®Where unemployed youths pick up weapons to fight in
support of the politicians who
deprive them of employment &
good life...
®Where someone
who cannot speak English is
given honorary Doctorate degrees...
WHAT A COUNTRY!!!.

During kissing 💋 where do you expect a guy to be touching??? .....💁💁
😋😋
Ladies only🚫
Let guys reply

The white background is the real image while the other is the edited version ☺. Rate me over 💯

Happy Sunday ☺️
Send in your Sunday pictures and let's praise God through you

Hello famz😉❤

Welcome to *IMPERIUM TV🎬📺*

We are here to brighten Your day😊,enhance Your smiles😃 and make you feel loved😍 with mouth watering and thrilling status updates😉💦

*We advertise your businesses🤝🏽
*Host airtime give aways🙉
*Hot trending news & Gists
*Host Pageants and Fashion Show with Huge Cash Rewards 💲💲💲
*Hook ups💏and many more others...
Contact us @ IMPERIUM TV on WhatsApp
08153177245
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO JOIN
https://wa.me/message/VLFGYXJHGKUHB1

wa.me

😂😂😂SATURDAY FUNNY JOKES😂😂😂
1 .I slept at my girlfriend house and
in the morning she didn't give me
money for transport.. I don't understand😏😏😏
2. I heard my neighbour saying 'baby climb the ceiling and
jump on my dick'..🙆🙆🙆.jesssuu which kind style be dat🏃🏃
3. Have u been so hungry that after eating biscuits u start to read the ingredients😂😂😂
4. Me: daddy I need 50k
Dad:40 thousand? 30 thousand is too much. What do you need 20 thousand for? Take this 10 thousand and give your bother half😬😬😬😳
5. That moment when your dick is erect and the teacher calls you out to rub off the board..😭😭😭😭🙅🙏🙏
6. Ordinary 'I love u' ur dick is at attention...bros why🤷🤷🤷
7. Guys will wear a shoe of 8k, belt 3k, shirt 2k. Just to date a girl wearing #200 leggins without pant...lemme run o
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
8. People can talk eh. How can
they say short people can hear their ancestors gossiping underground.😂😇😂😂
9. The difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED is that
When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED. When your woman catch you with another woman you COMPLETELY FINISHED. When you marry a woman who likes shopping so much you are FINISHED COMPLETELY. 😂😂😂😂
10. DEAR legends D rain Dat beat u today sha wash ur car tomorrow🙏🙏🤠🤠

11. All I need right now is a woman who will tell me "babe take this money, I just sold my father's land. I will give you more when I sell his car😂😂🏃🏃🏃
12. Have you ever date someone thinking is your last Bus stop, suddenly.... The person start behaving like Roundabout?😇😂😂😂😆😆

13. If he break your heart, don't come online to disturb us with quotes when you were eating pizza and Kfc nobody heard your voice.🏃🏃🏃

14 .I stopped trusting English when i realized that you can drink a drink but you can't food a food*🙅🙅🙅🙅🙎
15. When I visit you once and I hear "feel at home" I'm heading to the kitchen straight..🚶🚶🚶

14. Wickedness is when you are asked to pay 300k as bride price and the person that took the virginity only paid for one indomie and 2 eggs. There is God oh!🙄🙄
15.Chinaza:am at the junction, am putting on a blue top and black skirt.

Me:Are you the one with big stomach and k leg??

Chinaza:yes, can you see me??

Me:Nooooo, i can't see you o, i can never see you in jesus name😂😂😂😂🏃🏃

So tell me which joke blew your mind the most.

Pls drop your opinions in the comment section. Pls like and follow me on facebook for more exciting episode of funny jokes
@ IMPERIUM TV
08153177245

Breaking News 📰 ❗ ❗ ❗
KWASU want to increase there school fees

Good morning

I post my girlfriend 👩You search 💻her,
You find her, You date her💏,
You
F**k her🍆💦🍑,I sneak into Your 🏡home,
I Find You, I Hospitalize 🤺👊👋✂️📌📍You🏥You end
Up in ICU🏨I Sneak in 😡🤬,I Switch oFF
The machine,
I rap 🍆You ..You🤒DIE, They cry😭
I laugh😁They Bury ⚰You, I Dig You
OUT😓I Take You Home,
I CooK You🍝
I Feed You to my neighbours dogs🍖🐕
They Eat You, I Poison them,
They also Die, I Burn Them🔥

Case Closed!!!
💪🙆‍♂️👍
😡😡😡🙃

Can I post her???!

Hello fam😉❤

Welcome to *IMPERIUM TV🎬📺*

We are here to brighten Your day😊,enhance Your smiles😃 and make you feel loved😍 with mouth watering and thrilling status updates😉💦

*We advertise your businesses🤝🏽
*Host airtime give aways🙉
*Hot trending news & Gists
*Host Pageants and Fashion Show with Huge Cash Rewards 💲💲💲
*Hook ups💏and many more others...
Contact us @ IMPERIUM TV on WhatsApp
08153177245
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO JOIN
https://wa.me/message/VLFGYXJHGKUHB1

wa.me

Hello fam 😉 😉❤

Welcome to *IMPERIUM TV🎬📺*

We are here to brighten Your day😊,enhance Your smiles😃 and make you feel loved😍 with mouth watering and thrilling status updates😉💦

*We advertise your businesses🤝🏽
*Host airtime give aways🙉
*Hot trending news & Gists
*Host Pageants and Fashion Show with Huge Cash Rewards 💲💲💲
*Hook ups💏and many more others...
Contact us @ IMPERIUM TV on WhatsApp
08153177245
CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO JOIN
https://wa.me/message/VLFGYXJHGKUHB1

wa.me

💁‍♂I Was In My Room☺️Trying To Post📲My Jokes As Usual When My Mum👩‍🦰Called Me🗣️ ifeanyi!! Ifeanyi!!📢

Ifeanyi👨: Yes Mum🙄...

Mum👩‍🦰: Go🚶And Warm The Soup🥘 In The Kitchen, Your dad👨‍🦰will Eat It when he is back. He'll Soon Be Back From Work.

Ifeanyi👨: Okay Mom🙄
💁‍♂I Went🚶To The Kitchen To Put The Soup🥘 on The Fire🔥Then Went🚶Back To My Room😊To Continue Making My Posts📲.
💁‍♂30 Minutes Later...

Mom👩‍🦰: 🗣 ifeanyi👨!!! What Is Smelling🙄? You've Burnt🔥 The Soup🥘!..

💁‍♂ I Ran🏃 To The Kitchen To Check The Soup🥘And Saw👀 That The Soup🥘Was Totally Burnt😧🙆‍♂..Then my Father👨‍🦰Came Back🚶.

Dad👨‍🦰: ifeanyi👨You've Burnt🔥Food🥘Again In This House🏡Right?😠Give Me That Phone📱( He Takes A Look At The Phone📱And Saw👀 That I Was Making A Post📲)

Dad👨‍🦰: So You Were Busy Making Posts Right? 🤔Now Listen To Me💁‍♂, Any Numbers🔢 Of Likes👍, Comments💬or Share↩️ You Get On This Post💁‍♂Is The Amount Of Slaps🖐 You'll Receive From Me Today🤷‍♂.

So Please Friends, Family, Brothers, Sisters, Facebook Users🙆‍♂... Please 🙏Don't Like👍 Or Comment💬 on this Post If you love Me😭....
😊 Just Read And Pass.
PLEASE HAVE MERCY🙏🏾🙌🏻 😆😆😄...join our group for more jokes
Laugh 😂 It and join our page @ Imperium Tv

Once you start your sentence with "ME" just forget about English ✍️🙄🙄🙄

Oya Pick and comment don't kill the fun

Who will you pick? 😊🤔🤔

Relationship jokes😅

Girl: I'm at that roundabout, I'm putting on a yellow T-shirt and trousers.
Boy: Are you the one with the big stomach?
Girl: Yes, can you see me?
Boy: Nooo, I can't see you. I can never see you in Jesus name😅

A car horn is used to warn people that danger is approaching... that is why they use a lot of them when they are bringing a bride into your family.
Some of these things you don't need a degree to understand them...😂😂😂😂

I commented on my girlfriend's picture and she replied 'thanks bro'. Somebody please hold me... I want to tear my clothes😡😡

You are busy dating married men, continue. The girls that will destroy your home are in PRIMARY 3 studying home economics.😄😅

Relationship wey person dey build since 2017😰 another person don go roof am

When a girl uploads a picture.
Main guy: (no comment) likes picture and passes
Side guy: cutie😉😘
Guy with no chance: You are an embodiment of the Grace and goodness of the Lord, keep shining in his marvellous light

Wife called her husband:
Wife: honey where are you?
Husband: I'm at the bank.
Wife: dear, please I need 3000 rupees to activate my blackberry, 5000 to do my hair and 10,000 to buy a dress.
Husband: sorry, I meant I was at the bank of a river.
Do you want fish to cook? 🤣😜

U like the jokes😅 abi, Oya show some love😍 by joining dis group👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻have mercy nah😅

What will you do?

🔥🔊Referral Contest

The person to invite 🔟 people to our TV will receive 300 Naira airtime of his/her choice.
The giveaway ends by 12 pm 🕛 TODAY.
THANK YOU 😊

Happy New Month

Time to Laugh out your wigs
1. When a girl is not that into you she’ll be like baby can you call me back am closing the fridge.
2. Ladies pls wear bra before fetching water my landlord fell into the gutter again this morning.
3. If u cannot speak chinese well this is ur time to learn say this five time fast “MY SHOE SHALL SHINE SOON”
4. There is nothing painful than feelin ur pocket and realizing that ur phone is no more there
5. Guy: Hey Hey
Girl: Hi Hi
Guy: Bye Bye
Girl:What?
6. I taught I had seen it all until I saw an albino using bleaching cream, my sister do you want to turn invivsible
7. When you wear a Glo shirt to an Mtn interview it is the work of ur village people
8. When you go to a wedding and dey start sharing food from ur side my brother ur village people have fogoten you ooo.
9. If you are fat and you hear kidnappers are coming don’t waste ur time running I know too well that they don’t have trailer to carry you, Just continu walking ur fatness Is a blessing in disguise
10. My friend told me that the only food that makes a human cry is onion so I through coconut at his eye. Whose smart now
Like and comment for more

SUNDAY MORNING JOKES😂😂😂
1. How can I buy indomie for #80 and buy kerosene for #350 to cook it
I am not eating again.🙍🙍🙍🙌
2. She Posted.”No one can ever take what
God has given to me “... I commented.
”Where’s ur virginity ?
”..She blocked me*🏃🏃
3. Instead of learning how to cook, every girl is learning how to apply makeup. Don't worry my sister, your mother-in-law is waiting for you.😂😂
4. I was coming back from town when I
met Jehovah witness people knocking my
door.
I joined them.we knock knock knock till we
got tired and they left.🏃🏃
5. I will marry you. ...I will marry you "After
s*x u vanish" This is 1 of the reasons why
some men are inside Fanta bottle in some
villages. .🙆🙆🙆
6_You have wooed 30girls in one month and none of them agreed to date you....
My brother can't u see that womanism is not your calling?
Why not try Evangelism?😂😂
7 Thank God body Part can't be borrowed if
not u will be hearing things like "Ngozi
borrow me your breast, you know say my own
don fall finish".🏃🏃🏃
8. When superman flies you call him a hero..
But when your granny flies you call her a
witch.. Guys let's support our locally made talent, it's not
easy.😂😂😂
9. A girl came to me today telling me "I need
a guy who will be able to give 50 percent of
his profit or salary"... My sister even God
himself takes only 10% of our salary who do
you think you are? God's mother??😁😂😂

If you read all this post without liking or dropping any comment, I promise you rain will fall on your wedding day 🏃🏃

Don't forget to follow me on facebook for more exciting episode of funny jokes.

Imperium Tv