SweetMary_Ehi

S*x: The Assumption Of Consent

S*x is no doubt very important depending on individual preferences, s*x going into extinction is something that may never happen in the entire history of mankind, instead, people will however try to initiate more insensitive ways to their satisfaction.

Does this give room to assumption?

S*x is the coming together of the male and female biologically to have in*******se, s*x ought to be a thing of consent, i.e. both parties have to agree to a certain degree before there can be in*******se.

Consent is to express willingness over or about a thing or to give permission for something.

Assumption on the other hand is to imagine the possibility of another's intention or mindset without confirming from the individual in question.

So, Why will you want to assume another's consent?

Assuming consent is saying I don't care how u feel about this, so long it goes my way.
Is that not r**e?

Surely, we can not outrightly call it r**e, you want to know why? Because society has watered and is still watering down our vulnerability as individuals.

For example, you invited me as a friend to your place, and considering our level of friendship which has never in any way been romantic I decide to visit you on arrival after a few discussions I am being cajoled into the " we are not children" come on, let's just do this, are you even a virgin? like you haven't don't it before? etc. We struggle till thy will is done!

If that is not r**e, then what exactly was it?

Well, as humans who are so prone to changes, it won't be an issue if on getting to your place my status as a mare friend changes to someone you want something more with.
But, please can we discuss it first and be sure I want it as much as you want it?

That's why I guess we are adults, where my opinion becomes as important as yours, where you don't impose your excitement on my vulnerability.

Truth be told, we have been brainwashed into believing that only under aged kids are being r**ed because they are minors, sadly society has shot down the voices of many because it is assumed that they should be able to take care of themselves.

Don't break trust because of your imaginative assumption of the other party's consent. S*x should be a beautiful thing at all cost both physically and mentally, it is good enough to hope that the other party wants these exciting moments as much as we do, but should that lead to an irrational assumption?, The answer is a big no.

Let build trust as much as we talk about it, be a friend if that is what u want, be more than a friend if that is what you want, seating on the fence in any form of relationship and assuming things based on your own ideology is a waste of what genuine connectivity represent.
(c) Ebanehita mary
Emary Ehi

I am finally admitting that I am gradually forgetting the name behind the face.

I used to remember it as quickly as I blink but now I have to breathe and then think.

Certainly, your memory owns a complete chapter in my life, but I hope I don't have to use an imaginary name because I forgot yours.

In the only chapters where I expressed love without fear, I felt loved without fear and stayed afraid because it hurt at the same time, but somehow I just knew it was true.

Even if I can take back the hand of time I want to feel it just the same way.

The love that brightens, yet darkens, the love that heals me, yet bleeds me.

The love I could count on and be sure it will never leave when I am helpless.

The most misunderstood language I had to hear was ur love, though it hurts I want your name written on the stone of time forever.

(c)Ebanehita Mary
Emary Ehi

...She was very close yet very far, like she was echoing from a different room, being who I am, (the me who loved to answer question in class), she asked the first question and when nobody was answering, she directed the question to me. I had to, just like someone who dozed off, try to wrap my head round and just said something that looked like the answer. Fortunately, I was close to the expected answer. The same thing happened again and again, but at this point i had convinced myself that I was drifting compared to the energy with which I started the class.
Suddenly the next voice I heard was that of another student quoting the scripture that said “…that God will not tempt us beyond what we can bear…”
Then the teacher echoed, "did God really say so?", and some persons from the back probably said yes, and her next question was, “is God giving us temptation more that we can bear?” and I guess the same set of people said “no”
"Then why do we act like the temptation is more than we can bear?", the teacher asked. At that point, I was already angry. Like, do you know what it means for a temptation to be more than you, was I angry at the folks or was I angry that the temptations I was going through seemed more than me?
I couldn’t wait for the Sunday school to be over and when it ended, we all moved down stairs for conclusion of the Sunday school and all I heard was “God’s Faithfulness” and the more I heard it the more I got irritated, very unlike me when voices like that start coming, I start trying to put words together, maybe a few questions here and there for this "faithful God", but somehow I was like Garri that had been poured inside a bowl with cold water added to it, all I could do was rise as the water dried up meaning as angry as I was I didn’t dare ask any question, all I saw was my pain, my fear, my weakness, the judgment I got every time, how just one prayer point of mine has not been answered in the last 12 years. The more I heard “His Faithfulness” the more I lost my mind, I couldn’t even stand while the Sunday school closing prayer was made, the range had gotten to my throat that I could literally touch my anger.
It was time for hymn, so being typical of my church members to judge you without a cause, I had to stand and in less than no time my legs started shivering, it wasn’t unlike my legs, one of the many reasons why I didn’t quite understand the “Faithfulness” matter.
Is God Faithful? Yes.
Has He always been? Yes he has.
Will He stop soon? No He won’t.
The story between now and the last 12 years are not the same. You know, right? Yes I do know there are differences, (mind you, I am still In Church, this was during the worship session so while everyone seemly lifted up their Holy hands I was having this discussion with myself).
If your health was as bad as when you were doing your National Diploma, you know you won’t be able to finish your Higher National Diploma, right?
Now you are done with service, so exactly why do you doubt His “Faithfulness”?
..to be continued...

No, I do not doubt it, I am just wondering, "why give me the strength to endure the pain when he can actually take it away"?
One week before my return from service I almost died from pain at the left side of my stomach, I was the topic of every conversation. I was ridiculed. I was told I was too weak. I scheduled an appointment with a doctor, but a day to my return from the national assignment, the pains dissapeared. I was unsure about what my countenance should be.
On arrival, however, instead of the pain I was feeling at the right side, I suddenly could feel my heart compressing, sweating so suddenly yet profusely and with little strength in my muscle (legs) to carry me, I couldn’t place it, I was fine so where were these symptoms coming from, I got a taxi that took me home. When I got home, the whole symptom had gone down and I felt like myself again. That became the new normal, I couldn't stand for 10 minutes, I couldn't walk the smallest distances without gasping for breath, feeling compressed around my chest or looking for where to rest. I have become a laughing stock because it's either this symptom today or the other tomorrow.
So if he could help me achieve education, why then has he not taken these pains away? (I was literarily screaming because I was trying to get myself to join in the worship session) I was practically going to explode.
Quickly I had to send my counselor a message that read
“Somehow, for reasons I can’t place a finger on, I am feeling offended, and the longer I sit, the stronger it becomes, should I go home”?
His response was thus:
Hmm... Offended by God or the environment or me or someone else
After his reply, I responded by saying:
I think I feel better
Worship was almost over, so I had to join up with the congregation, I had to keep reminding myself that my state of mind wasn’t going to change the fact that God is faithful, and certainly he will do what he will do only when He decides to, and however he decides. So as usual, the best I could do was “let not my heart be troubled, by casting all my cares on him”.
The rest of the service couldn’t restore me to default settings ( the energy I brought to church) but then I was able to look above the storm in front of me even when it was louder than the church's public address system. But , "why give me the strength to bear the pain he can actually take away?", I mused.

-the end-

STEWARDS OF GOD'S BLESSINGS

It has been exactly three day now and I had to cornroll my hair for the first time in many months, thanks to those who already know me and my hair pattern, it is one thing for me to loosen my hair and a different story entirely to get it done again.
So while I was carefully carrying out my duties at my work place, a woman brought in her kids for certain investigations and being the first point in the department, she came over to my table and made a few inquiry and I gave her all possible assistance, and it was quite helpful to her in many ways
I had to cost the various investigations for her and have her make payment and return the receipt to my table, which she did and while I was still attending to her and being that she wasn’t the only person (patient) at the department at the other side where we have the patient seating and waiting for the phlebotomist, a man was out rightly appreciating a set of twin that came in much early for their own investigation, admiring and praying that his wife gives him a set of twins too both boys and he ended with giving them cash ( a form of I claim this miracle) lol…
I was still at alert on my duty post as other patient kept coming in and out some to collect results others to know the price for an investigation or some waiting for their sample to be collected. Some how the woman and her children where so not in a hurry, the three children were seated with their phone and didn’t even seem like they were in the hospital, while their mum went about saying hello to everyone she knew the children waited patiently.
About an hour later the twin and their mum was set to leave and the woman who came in with her kids stood up without much words and gave them both a thousand naira each without saying much except smiling, yes it was happening right at my front so I saw them clearly.
The woman and her children stayed about two more hours before they finally concluded every thing they came for and I had to tell them when to return for their results, while she was making final moves I could feel this sense of “ thanks for the treat” kind of looks on her face ( I really took my time with attending to her, even had to leave my position to get her water to enable her kids use the restroom, and at that point my spirit was na like this woman will tip u before leaving…. Lol…
I don’t know about you, but there are time I know when someone will dash me money and that day was one of such days, eventually she was about to leave and she gave me one thousand naira and I sincerely appreciated her.
Being that I was just two hundred (200) naira rich, I was really grateful and was already calculating all of the possible things I could do with the money and while all that was happening, few minutes later the lady who made my hair walked in and not longer than she came my elder sister walked in and after a few introduction and communication with my sister she dashed me five hundred ( 500) naira, making me a total of one thousand seven hundred (1700) naira richer.
We had to start working on the hair as fast as she could because it was already evening and certainly she needs to go home, while on the hair we had some conversation here and there and somehow I got to understand that her husband left her and her three kids over 4 years now and she was being grateful while telling of she has suffered and how even she couldn’t believe she could come that far as to even paying her rent, and you know too many advice from different people is usually one difficult thing people of her type will face, especially when she has to depend on many people for survival, she has to keep taking in everything without “remembering” to separate truth form lies, so she was obviously struggling.
While she was gradually wrapping up I started thinking of how much I was going to give her, in all honesty even before the wrapping up, the one thousand naira kept popping up on my mind, to me I was still visualizing all the possibilities of the money not even remembering the 500 from my sister, so when I started thinking what I should give her, the one thousand still came to mind, I couldn’t tell if the popping up was for me to give her or still on what I was going to do with it, but somehow I fell asleep and when I woke up she was done.
While all these where going on, somehow a part of me already told me all the truth I needed, but being the fighter, I couldn’t help but fight it till she was done and immediately I got to my bag to collect money, the first and only money was the one thousand naira and without remembering what my decision was, I handed her the one thousand naira and she kept thanking and thanking and she said, you didn’t even check the hair I made and u giving me this? And I told her not to worry that it was fine, so she left.
Obviously I lost the fight and I couldn’t explain how I was feeling. I had just handed over to the next person on duty and had to quickly see another colleague of mine who admired the hair and asked how much I paid for it so I told her one thousand naira and she was like she made hers with three hundred naira and somehow I was kinda discourage and when I was on my way home I started remembering what I was supposed to do with the money and instantly I heard “ know when it was never suppose to be yours so that letting go won’t be this difficult” end of story
I found the peace I should have gotten when I gave out the money, I was broke so it was a big deal letting it go. But in the instant I understood that the money had to get to me to get to the original owner or who really needed it. Sometimes, other people need it more than u actually do, it doesn’t have to be money, it can be the knowledge u are getting form that book or the skill u are learning or any other thing God is placing in your hand, know when its time to let it bless someone else who needs it in the capacity God wants it to be use.

It wasn’t the usual kind of Sunday, I certainly got to church before Sunday school which of course is my favorite time of the Sunday, somehow the morning prayer/opening prayer ended and Sunday school commenced immediately.
I sat in the class like every other student, with the enthusiasm to learn from my favorite teacher, briefly the opening prayer was made and the class started off. I remember being in the class with all of me (Spirit, Soul and Body), but somehow I stopped hearing my teacher, not like she stopped talking and not like my mind was somewhere else. Usually when I drift during any session it means that something else quickly crawled into my mind, but that wasn’t the case, as i certainly heard her talking but I couldn’t make any sense from what she was saying...

To be continued...

Holding grudges, is like taking poison and hope it kills the other person

Pleasure at the wrong time will open door to the devil

Are you having a hard time, like ur emotions running u down?, it's ok, I think it means u are human, alive and healthy, don't get discourage to express those hurting emotion, we all will be alright!

It's okay that difficult times last a little longer than expected, but it's never alright to give up.

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Be the little love everyone needs to move to a new stage