TieHub

Better late than never

However, as much as you can, begin early

Happy August, Fam

We keep moving!

Yes!

Happy New Month.

"Surplus wealth is a sacred trust which its possessor is bound to administer in his lifetime for the good of the community."

~Andrew Carnegie
Be rich.
Have character

Dear Man

You'll grow when you WANT to

You'll grow when you PLAN to

"Wisdom comes easy to the open-minded"

Happy Saturday!

Happy Weekend!

The mind is always thinking. If you don't intentionally guide it, it will drift.
We begin to have problems with esteem when we consider that others, mates often, are doing better than we are. Sometimes it's true. Sometimes it's just us overthinking.
Feelings are subject to actions—or, actions and feeling go hand-in-hand.
That means, if I work at Microsoft(Gates' PA, for example), I'm more probable to feel confident than the kiosk owner down the street. (Emphasis on "more probable")
If I read with consistency, I'm more prone to feel relaxed in the exam hall than the one who doesn't.
This is a hint to the cause of esteem issues. One with low self-esteem might be DOING something or NOT doing something to contribute to the feeling.
To cut the long story short, this post is about one way to deal with fear and low self-esteem.
!
Knowledge PUFFS UP. It's a side effect, but it's a good one(in moderation).
(Perhaps in a later post we'll discuss the mechanism of this.)
But for now, Man, chase knowledge with all of you.
The confident man is one who has mastered his mind; he tells it where to go, where to do a stopover, where to turn, where to dwell. Help your mind.
Read books.
Attend seminars.
Listen to podcasts.
Make your mind think good.
And watch your confidence join the eagles in the sky.

Brother, if it makes you feel better, be remorseful. In fact, be remorseful if you've done bad. That tells there's still hope.

But note: there's a thin line between good remorse and guilt.

Remorse says, "mehn, wetin I do no bam at all. You fit forgive me? Abeg..."

Guilt says, "guy, you fall hands oo. How you wan take explain yasef now? Walahi sense you no go get."

Remorse presses you to seek repentance. Guilt urges you to seek an escape.
"You're too bad to be good," it says, "just get out of here. Nobody wants messed up junk."

Almost everyone hears that voice once upon a time. But the successful, the supposedly consistently good, have their way of dealing with it.
So how do you deal with guilt:

1. .
Ego will stand in the way. Ego will say, "but I'm right. I always am". Yet we know that isn't true. We all are OFTEN wrong. People do bad all the time. You're not the first, and even though we desperately want to believe this is the last, we know you'll blow it again, as we too will. Because no one is perfect; we are only working towards being good. Own up to it and beat down that ego. By so doing, you'll be giving yourself room for growth.

2. . Say "I'm sorry". Even, call the wrong by the ugliest name you can find. There'll be the temptation to attempt to justify. But don't take the bait. Allow the onslaught on your ego. Ego is growth's foe. Don't forget.

3. . This will be after you've forgiven you. Forget.
"That's impossible," you might say, but at least you can choose what to dwell on.

So, let's give you what to think:

Remember when that small boy stopped you in the middle of the road singing, "uncle sign for me", and you gave him 50naira;

Or when you had to help that old woman carry her bags the rest of the way;

Or when you helped that young lady balance her water gallon on her head.

See, all these times, you could have said no, but you didn't. Aren't they testimony to how there is some good in you? Focus there.
(Now this isn't an a prompt to gloat in self. The motive is to encourage yourself onward)

If you're asking how this changes anything, this is how. YOUR ACTIONS ARE OUTCROPS OF YOUR DOMINANT THOUGHTS.
Think about all the times you meant to do good and actually did good; you'll discover your thoughts created the vibes.

So, what things will you be remembering this tonight? (Notice we didn't ask what thoughts you'll be forgetting—BECAUSE WE WANT YOU TO FORGET!)

Fear is a safety measure. That means it works to keep you unharmed. ("Ain't that cool?")
Consider the child who against warnings continues to play with fire. The day he burns his finger is the day he'll naturally "hear word". 'Cause he not only got burned; his psyche also sustained an unpleasant experience, and it will stay him from acting further in that line.
Same with when a couple of girls turn down your well-rehearsed, on-point advances. Then like Daniel, you resolve in your heart to not try again.
Thus we find that fear only serves to inhibit action. For self-preservation.
However, fear often works overtime and keeps us trapped in our own little world, makes us unwilling to explore, because we want to stay as we have been, comfortable, even if that also means small. Besides it's scary out there, unpredictable.
This is a problem, we know. So here are some easy-to-use solutions. They've worked, and are still working.
1. PIN-POINT THE FEAR.

While fear aims to hinder action, there are triggers.

For example, the fear of speaking in public, or engaging the opposite s*x in a meaningful conversation, could be triggered by the subconscious mindset that we don't look good enough, or that we aren't that interesting or "deep".

When you've found WHY you're scared, then,
2. TAKE ACTION. This has two faces.

2.1. Solve the problem of WHY. If you doubt your appearance, then beef it up, simple!
Go to the barber and have a clean haircut.
Iron your shirt, dress for the occasion. The mirror is your friend.
If you're afraid you're not smart enough, read.
Etc.

2.2. Since the principal aim of fear is to prevent action, ACT.

After you've taken care of the logical explanation for your fear, that is, now that you're certain you're looking sharp for example, go towards, not away from the fear.
Take the microphone and say "hello".
Walk up to the lady and say "hello".
You'll be looking fear in the face, and as his name suggests(—we aren't sure of the gender though), he'll cower away.
. Hesitation, I'll-do-it-later, gimme-some-time, fertilise fear.
So,
What fear-triggers will you be shooting down today?
What actions will you be taking first thing in the morning?

!

Dear Man,
What if Mama forbade our baby selves to speak until we had mastered English or the dialect? What if we had to have perfected using the cutlery before our first independent meal?
What if.
These flashy images on our screens of "perfection" must not make us think there was never a process. The delusion that our models were born that way, or began as good as they presently are, is what prevents too many people from waking up and making8 a move. They want to be on-point before beginning.
But no celebrity was born a pro. Not athlete was born a pro. No leader began a pro. Everyone at some point were novices.
Experts are not made from waiting. They're made from starting, blowing it, starting again, and continuing. THEY LITERALLY BLUNDER THEIR WAY INTO SUCCESS.
You too don't have to be a pro to begin. Start small and build. Simple!
Life is a journey. And every day is an opportunity for growth.
Begin writing those songs
Begin making those speeches
Begin taking those pictures
Begin doing that thing
("The problem is you think you still have time")

Dear Man,

You're a seed

You don't exist for you alone

Please live.

You know why you should do you?

1. Because we know when something is fake.

2. Because fake bores us

3. BECAUSE THERE ARE NO TWO YOU's

If you stick to doing you, soon you'll be the next online and offline sensation

In colloquial terms: you go blow!

"Don't worry about me. It's nothing."
What they actually mean is "I should be worrying for you. Not you for me".

"We'll work it out. Go to bed"
What they actually mean is "My boy must go to school, even if it costs me my kidney".
(Now that's extreme, but we know they won't take no for an answer)
Fathers have the tendency to want to be strong, or appear strong for the family.
But we must realise, the head of the family is not a very easy spot to fill.
Oh the joy of having a Son that understands.
The Son that knows when to hug his father, and say "I love you Dad", no matter how stoic he(the father) is.
The Son that knows when to pat his father's back, literally or figuratively, and say "I see you Dad, I see you!"
The Son that knows his father's shoe size.
Pick up your phone and dial home, Bruh.
Ask him how far.
(You don't have to be CEO to send him airtime)
If he's got flaws, cover them.
Pray for him.
Bear him up.
Bottom line: love your dad while you have him.

They mean well when they ask us to "be a man, will you!". When they tell us "you had better act your age", they only mean to awaken us to our potential, to raise us up, not put us down.
However, if all these be-a-man talks aren't properly given and engaged, they can counter-produce.
Sometimes it isn't laxity on our part that stalls our growth; sometimes it's resentment bred by misunderstanding the process.
We all mean to "not fall hands", to be responsible, to make Fam proud. We want to be who we should be, Men.
But,
In our in our zest to be, we must not forget that whatever is worth building is worth taking the time. Even, the more we mean it to last, the longer, and more arduous, the task of building.
Life is no sprint. We're running a marathon.
Hence too vital to the building process is patience, the ability to stick it through. If we came already built, as good as we can be, where would the fun of growth be? We'd have been robbed of the surprises, the ecstasy and the fulfillment that come with rising after falling.
Take your time and build.
Kanye says, "Feel the feel, enjoy yourself".
We gon' be alright

If you never mean to do it, you'll most probably never do it.
Ask "how can I help you?"
Plan to help like you plan to spend. Schedule to add value to people.
Kindness isn't like breathing that you do unconsciously. It's an act that you knowingly do. Sometimes it might even be painful. But always, it's worth it.
Think of our doctors and the pandemic.

So, at TIEHUB we often find ourselves in a "fix" because we're constantly asking, how can we serve them better? At first we sold ties, made some good cash out of it. But we found out, you can wear the most vintage, on-point ties and still be an eyesore. So we thought, let's incorporate the entirety of dressing, of fashion, top-to-bottom. But again we found that one could look good and yet struggle with a poor esteem, that one could look sleek but still suck at relationships. So we thought, how about we also touch on these hidden parts of us that affect the whole, and we came up with . You get the point, don't you?
Asides the fact that we've got your back(because we actually do), we want to share the task of being human. It'll be a long time before we on our own impact everyone out there. Yesterday we shared some powerful stories. Truth is we might never get to meet those men, but at least they've served as a glimmer of hope for our men, and to differ from the narrative that men are inherently callous. Considering the times we're in the message couldn't be more timely.
It couldn't be truer: REAL MEN BUILD. We don't speak of skyscrapers and the bricklayers and masons etc, that construct them. We're talking of the greatest monuments ever—People. Real men build people. Real men are craftsmen; they pick up raw material and work on it: fire it, hammer it, shine it, etc, until they produce an artwork that will sell for millions. Building is hard work, and selfless work, which is why it is reserved for just a few man-enough people. People with guts.
The most popular question even if it isn't recognised as such is this: what's in it for me? Somebody asks "how are you?" and the casual tone, sucked dry of concern, is enough reason to be "fine" even if we aren't. So we've accepted and become very comfortable with the maxim, "nobody cares". While that is experientially true, regretfully, shall we all now succumb to the base life of not caring?
There's a need for a change of narrative. The question should rather be, "how can I help you?" That is the attitude of the real man. He's more occupied with giving than receiving, and it's no surprise he has more friends, more fulfilling relationships and even more money!
One noon, one act of love. One dusk, one care. And soon we'll find that we've actually made a difference.
"The oldest religion is humanity." If you differ from religion, you can at least BE HUMAN.
So tell us, how can we help you?

These are life stories, not fiction...
You know, I didn't think it was a big deal at the time. But years later my girlfriend told me the first time she was r***d was by a church brother who volunteered to walk her home after a late night band rehearsal. And then I remembered our house then, how you had to walk through these tall bushes—like, literally—before you began to see few shops and then our house. Akin walked me home everynight, for two years, and he didn't touch me even once. I told my husband before we got married but there was unbelief in his eyes. So when he pulled out of me on our wedding night and found blood, he cried. Since then we've been looking for Akin.
—Ist Lady

I was grieving, had lost a friend. I don't know, there's this thing grief does to you. Pity is a selfish little bastard. It says, "hey, look at me. I said look at me!" And grief sort of empowers that, says, "look at her, how it must hurt." One of those days he came to be with me. I was resting on his shoulder. Then I looked up and he was the most adorable thing. I'm telling you, he was like my most cherished pendant, the one I would not let be on my chest, and I'd keep touching it and feeling it. I wanted him, and grief told me, "yes, you should have him, don't you see you're mourning?" So I raised my lips to his. At first, he was shocked, he recoiled. Then he caught himself, and I saw his gape soften into one of sympathy. He said to me, "this isn't you. I should step out for a second." When he did, grief told me, "don't you see the movies? He's considering it right now outside the door, he'll be back." And pity said, "yeah, nobody with a heart says no to a grieving woman." I waited and waited, and eventually he didn't come.
—2nd Lady

In my first year I lost my phone—no it was stolen. My phone was my office, my everything was in there. Until then we had just been classmates that knew each other's names, exchanged hello's if our paths crossed, and could walk from one class to another together. People don't believe me when I tell them, but he gave me his phone for a week. A whole week! You'd expect that naturally we would get very close. We did get close, but not very; whether he was wary to not make me feel obliged to him, or he was being a sissy, I don't know, but I found it sweet.
—3rd Lady

He would take me out for lunch and thereafter we'd go to study. Sometimes we did both together, lunch and books, under a tree. I'd tell him how I was fighting with my boyfriend because he was so annoying and so uncouth and was fighting with everyone else and I just wanted to leave him. He'd just sit there, no interruption. Then he'd say to me that there are often three sides to a story: his side, her side, and the truth. Before I made rash judgements, he'd say, be sure to have known all three sides. The next day I'd tell him oh, how my boyfriend was the sweetest thing in the world. He congratulated me. But the next day I'd come back with more bad stories. Eventually I broke up with my boyfriend because he was more crazy than good. He on the other hand took me out and spoiled me as usual, I felt like my father's daughter again. When we talk about it these days I ask him if he liked me all those times why did he not say something, like put in a word for himself. He tells me he wanted the love to come naturally. What if, I keep on, what if I had run off with another man? "As long you were happy," he says back.
—4th Lady..
Our every encounter with people in life is a chance to undo some wrong, or nurse some wound, or provide a fresh perspective to life, or help them believe again. One thing is sure: the real man does not, will not, cash out on people's weakness. He builds, does not tear down.

Go ahead and strengthen someone today, Man.

Running shoes are an important part of your shoe collection whether you are actively involved in sports or you only hit the gym or tracks sometimes.

Basically, even if you don’t know what the four walls of a gym look like, you could still incorporate running shoes into your outfits to sort of "up the vibe".

Due to their structure, trainers give support and help prevent injuries. These shoes can be worn with almost everything, but it's advisable to stick with sportswear or denim.

Again, remember, quality is key. We don't want to waste cash, right?

The importance of sandals cannot be overemphasized if you are looking to rock that Ankara/ traditional ensemble in laid back classy gentleman style. The comfort alone enough reason to have it in your wardrobe.

When choosing leather sandals, quality is key; you don't want your sandals peeling off after a few wears. Secondly, go for the sandals with few straps. Avoid complicated styles (we are minimalists remember). Also, dark colours are a better option for versatility

Apart from your traditional ensemble, sandals can be worn with casual outfits; jeans, shorts, etc.

Sandals can also be worn with your beach wear, and on the right occasion, with your swimsuit. Talk about pool-side events like weddings, showers etc.

Don’t wear sandals with tux or suits except of course you are very confident in shaking the fashion table. And also, do not pair your sandals with socks

: Match your sandals with a pair of moisturized feet and tidy toenails. They do so much justice to the outfit all the time

From how comfortable they are to how effortlessly they can be slipped, to how they're just unexplainably stylish, slip-ons are our favourite types of shoes.

Loafers are versatile, popular, and portray high fashion sense. It can be paired with various outfits (no shorts dears). But you can experiment and express yourself with the wide range of styles and colours they come in.

Got for leather loafers and dark coloured one for formal events and dates; reserve suede and brighter colours for your casual outings.

TIP: Chinos are a fine fit for slip-ons. Like a match made in heaven!

Loafers can also be worn with your traditional ensemble. If you want to wear with socks, choose the low-cut ones(socks).

Are you in need of shoes but have limited space both in your closet and your budget? Or you need a guide to shop for shoes? Or you're like us, minimalist, the less-is-more kind?
This post is aimed at helping you figure out which shoes you need at the moment and, of course, how to wear and style them.

: No shoes scream classy dapper gentleman than a pair of dark leather oxfords. They're perfect for formal occasions like weddings, dinners, pitches, job interviews—basically any event that requires a good suit and a tie. Not compatible with casual occasions.

Oxfords can have , but it's best to go for the 'brogueless' ones since they appear classier, and we're going for minimalism.

Think of oxfords as the cherry on the icing for formal attires. And please don’t forget to polish your oxfords before wearing them.

**Brogues are shoes that come with brogues (tiny holes for the purpose of design).

: This is the chunkier version of the oxford shoes. The difference between the oxfords and the derby shoes is in the (oxfords have closed flap lacing design while derby shoes have open flap lacing designs). They can be worn to not-too-formal events—your day to day school and work shoes, especially if you work in an environment with a laid-back setting.

Derby shoes loosen up a formal suit look and sharpen a casual denim look. Think of them as in between formal and casual. Opt for darker and simpler designs.

NOTE: Derby shoes are NOT a replacement for Oxfords because they are less formal than the oxfords and hence can not be used very classily for .

Again, these shoes look better when cleaned and polished.

: The greatest wardrobe saviours of all time. Their selling point is versatility as they can be worn with almost everything. Sneakers can turn your outfit from a 0 to a 100 real quick.

The key word here is minimal, and no colour portrays more than white. The trick is to go for a pair without very legible logos/branding, or .

Sneakers are really comfortable shoes and can be worn anytime, with , , , , , etc

Remember: your sneakers are not your running shoes. Don't use the same pair to hit the , exercise, do karate, etc. Get a pair of running shoes for exercising and sporting activities if you must.

Pro tip: Make use of shoe deodorants or/and insoles because it can get real stuffy in there.

P.S.: subtle reminder: sneakers are not either.

Yeah, it's Tuesday and we should all be doing serious stuff. However we found some COOL facts we couldn't help but share.

PS: The novelty in this post will release some more dopamine in you(good business). Point is, this will rock your mind!

Besides we could all use some laugh right now.

Truths You Didn't Know About Shoes

1. . In 1917, Henry Nelson McKinney coined the name "sneakers" after some companies started making shoes with rubber soles to replace the rather noisy ones.

So if you're thinking of leaving home during the lockdown, this should help you slip by unnoticed. You're welcome😂

2. . 3 grains of barley were equivalent to 1inch in England in the early 1300s.

What a fine use of fine food!😂

3. .
Yeah! Before ladies adopted them heels were a symbol of high social status in Europe in the 17th century, and only noble men were seen with them. Also, being the only ones who owned horses, it was crucial for them to stay put on the stirrups.
Some men couldn't deal though, their servants had to hold their hands so they wouldn't fall over.

Masculinists in the house!😯

4. .
They were made to fit the left foot alone but were to be worn on both feet. Interestingly no one raised a complaint until the first left and right-footed shoes were made in Philadelphia years later.

The baby in the yard has disciples afterall!😂

5. Research has shown that 17% of women will likely break up with a guy known for wearing ugly shoes. Reason?
"If he can't afford good shoes for himself, he couldn't afford the less flimsy stuff like my hair, my makeup..."

Guys, let's behave, shall we!😐

Happy Laughing😂 as you look out for our next post: MUST–HAVE SHOES FOR GUYS!

(Image to prove our point. Man must have been a hottie!)

EVER HEARD OF MOISTURIZERS?
(Everyone Needs Them)

You can summarize our last post thus: tips to acquire just the right shoes—I mean, why do five when you can do two and the change? We gave three points to consider when shoe-hunting. So that we don't lose you, please do read that up.

Now, in as much as choosing and wearing the right shoes is nonnegotiable, there's something we must not leave out, and that is care for your shoes and relatively the feet that wear them. Because without proper maintenance, your shoes will have trouble looking like the 'right' shoes, and will tell wrong of you—something we don't want.

Care methods for shoes differ based on the shoe material and the degree of dirt the shoes have been exposed to.

Walking around in stained shoes or with chapped feet is definitely not a plus for the man of style. It won't matter that you're rocking or , or that the price tag you've intentionally left there is really intimidating.

For all we care, those shoes are just another unlucky pair that found themselves in the custody of a dirty undeserving chap. Thus our perception of you is greatly tweaked, an adverse effect. This, you'd agree with us, is bad for .

Hence, learning to care for your shoes is too vital a point to neglect.

Moreso, as important as taking good care of your shoes is, is taking care of your feet. Moisturizers aren't a word for nothing. "Moisturizing" your feet will ensure that you don't have to put out another flakey-scaley foot ever again.

So the next time you are thinking of wearing those your favourite sandals, remember to apply a good moisturizer to your feet. We recommend applying according to your skin type, not some random thing off some street vendor(no offence meant).

Thank us?
Sure, we're !

We'll be bringing you tips to help you care for your feet and your favourite shoes so they stay your favourite, fresh, until you yourself WANT a change.

Still On Shoes...

From the quality of the materials used in the production, to the way it is cleaned/polished, to how it is worn, a man's footwear says a lot about his style and in relation, his personality.

They come in different styles, colours, structures to suit different occasions ranging from very formal occasions to extremely casual events like taking a necessary trip from your bed to the restroom.

And because more can be done with less, you don't need to own 100 pairs to prove your point; you need only invest in a few good ones that are functional and versatile enough to be incorporated into your various outfits for your events.

When next you go shopping for shoes, keep in mind these three key points:

1. : Make sure to invest in shoes that are made with durable materials.

2. : Ask yourself, "Why am I buying these shoes?", "Where do I intend wearing them to?". Don't go buying shoes that wouldn't serve the purpose for which you're buying, or shoes that you won't be comfortable in. For example, if you need some new shoes for a black tie event, Oxfords, not sneakers, will serve. And please do keep to your size. Not smaller, not bigger.

And lastly,

3. : Go for shoes whose styles and colours fit a range of other colours or dress styles. Black shoes, for example, work with every other colour including black. In considering versatility, be sure you can wear that shoe with a lot of other different outfits. White and black sneakers are just two examples of versatile shoes.

We're not done. We got you😉

Meanwhile....,

and

SHOES, FINALLY!

You'd probably stop to check if you're still safe if your favourite celebrity showed up on the red carpet rocking his 'agbada' ensemble with highly priced Louis Vuitton sneakers(red), wouldn't you?

There's that instinct of ours (wonder why) to look down at the feet when we meet someone. This is perhaps due to the common knowledge — conscious or subconscious — that in addition to the fact that shoes make or utterly break a person's outfit, we can often decipher a person's personality from the shoes, no stress.

Inferentially, you don't put on a pair of shoes because you bought them at a highly overpriced rate or because you love the colour or the design.

You must be sure that whatever shoes you've decided to wear make a good fit with the clothes you're going for. This goes a long way in preserving your style and boosting your morale, , if you like.

That's why we .hub are here for you. To help you through this journey in style, arm-in-arm, every step of the way.

Still on Style,

Style is the of the man.

Whoever said this surely deserves some more : We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS.

Your style takes bearing from who you are.

An example: it's easier to dress corporate when you're a banker than when you're a table tennis coach.

And caps would feel more comfy as a tennis player than as a lawyer.

Thus style depends totally on who you are.

Elements of style:

1. Your : what do you represent; what are you or do you want to be known for(luxury, serenity, relatableness)?

2. : .
It's harder to show yourself as someone who you're not. That's falsehood, and it doesn't last. Now and then we drop cues that help people piece together the real us. And when that doesn't align with who we're projecting ourselves as, we lose credibility.
Hence you want to make efforts to not just live up to the standard you're projecting, but BE THE .

3. Non-verbal.
We're always communicating something whether or not we're aware. Just by sitting all alone in a white shirt in a bar, I may come off to you as a snub, or a lawyer that has lost more cases than game bets.
Thus self-awareness and are key.

4. Physical appearance:
Don't try selling me how-to-make-money courses when I just saw you fighting for change with the cab driver; or self help books when I can tell from the lines under your armpit that it's the third day you're wearing that shirt without washing; or gym classes when your belly is drooping over your zip like watery pap in a nylon sack and hiding away your belt.

Really you can't blame us for having small sense.

And for emphasis,
5. . Clothes, man, clothes!

TIEHUBian: Onyekwelu Kenechukwu Kelzy (Kelzy_Inspires)