Abiodun Fijabi's Thinking Corner

What Do You Think?

I think. I think long and hard to form an opinion on virtually every issue. I take my time, I dot my i’s and cross my t’s. No facts escape my scrutiny. No scenario - possible or impossible- is discarded. By the time I am done, I am done. I end up being strongly opinionated. So much that God, sometimes, finds it difficult to change my well-reasoned opinion.

The challenge is that my opinions only live and impact when others subscribe to them. Or, at the least, accommodate them. So, I am in a quagmire. Should I or should I not negotiate? But how do you negotiate a perfect idea that is like the law of Medes and Persia?

Come to think of it, is there anything like a perfect idea? The best idea has rough edges that can only be smoothened by others. Your best painting needs a stroke of brush by another painter. Your perfect plan needs the missing details that only someone else can supply. It would seem that you are not complete standing, thinking, and planning alone. Moses needed a Jethro. Paul needed a Mark he once had a disagreement with. Jesus once asked His disciples, “Who do you think I am?”

You are smart when you learn to thoughtfully ask others involved in your life and plan, “What do you think?” In doing so, you remove the limits over your little idea and release the power of synergy to attain heights you once thought were unattainable.

Stop, But Don’t Stop!

Sometimes it’s good to stop to ponder your ways.
“How am I doing in the race?” You ask yourself, as you ward off the noises and the distractions around you to reach into the inner recesses of your heart.

More often than not, you are alarmed at the results. Your heart doesn’t deceive you; remember. It is the safety net that keeps you secured in danger. In there reside the Father of lights, the Son of righteousness and the Spirit of truth. So, you are thrown into the arms of the One that loves you most. His comforting arms erase all your fears and clear all your doubts. He affirms your actions, explains the reason behind the joy or the hurts and urges you on. “Go on; don’t stop!” He has spoken. You smile. Sometimes, you cry for joy. You “return” with a new attitude. Knowing He is in your corner makes you feel brand new. You step out in faith. You march on in hope.

Sometimes, He confirms your fears that you have been running the race, detached from Him. In those inner recesses of your heart, you feel both His love arms and His concerns. “I love you far too much to allow you to self destruct.” With your head buried in His strong and warm embrace, you cry for help. Help is here! Help is always here. So, He makes you brand new. His presence, as always, heralds the fullness of joy. And on His right hand is where you find pleasures for all seasons. Surprisingly, you hear Him say, “Go on; don’t stop!” You smile. Sometimes, you cry for joy. You “return” with a new you. You step out in a different direction. You march on with the new template He has just shown you.

In this fast-paced world, stopping to ponder on your ways is considered a sign of weakness. “Don’t ever stop,” the throngs of motivational speakers say with relish. Don’t mind those throwing you on the horse of pretense and urging you to join the chariots of false hope. Stop! Stop to ponder. Do it as often as you are implored to do. Hear Him, and not them, say, “Go on; don’t stop!” When those on horses and chariots falter and fall, you shall rise and stand upright - in all seasons.

I GOOFED

I thought I knew what you were thinking. So, I spoke. Looking back, I realize that I goofed.

You have every right to feel bad like you did. I apologize. But why couldn't I have known I had no right to think for you? Why couldn't I have known I was not a mind reader?

I promise not to assume again that I know what you are thinking. I shall listen intently to you and seek clarifications until I understand your deepest thoughts. Then and only then will I speak. Are you happy now? Thank you so much for giving me another chance to prove how important you are to me.

And now that I have decided to understand you before I again open my mouth to speak, may I respectfully ask you to do the same towards me? Then, we can both be sure of mutual understanding and go on to strengthen the bond of our friendship. Wouldn't that be cool?

Regrets? No!

I can handle failure. Failure jolts me out of my complacency. As I investigate why and where things have gone wrong, I learn, unlearn and relearn. It makes me wiser. It teaches me patience. It strengthens my resolve. In essence, I fail forward. I brace up for another challenge, ready for yet another opportunity to go forward - win or lose.

I can handle disappointment. Hope deferred is not hope denied. It makes me re-examine my belief, my attitude, my behavior. It makes me rediscover who I am and whose I am. It reminds me that without Him I can do nothing. At the instance of a disappointment, I find myself back to where I belong - in His arms, receiving comfort and drawing strength to soldier on.

I can handle pains. Every tough time has a life span. Every suffering has an expiry date. Every difficulty has a cult-like opportunity locked somewhere in its bowels. Pain tones my emotional and spiritual muscles and increases my agility to respond to future challenges. In Christ, pain loses its fangs. In Him, pain’s poison beomes an elixir.

What I can’t handle is regrets. It takes the wind out of my sail. It’s one emotion I don’t need and will never need. It dampens my spirit, exacerbates my fears and dries up my bones. So, I don’t wallow in regrets, I hallow God in hope. I depress my depression: I make every depressive thought captive to Christ. I pray. I sing. I dance. I rise up to play. I rise up to work. I walk, run, fly… I do everything except succumb to regrets.

Regrets? It’s a capital No for me. How about you?

Let’s Go Threading.

Dear friends. I am on Threads. Follow me, if you like, and let’s continue to engage in meaningful conversations on the new platform.

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The Miracle of My Father’s Arms

“Come on, child, your Father is here.”

With that, I turn my whole body towards the sound of His voice, beaming with smiles. His is a loving and soothing voice. Like a pool of water in the desert land. I fall recklessly in His arms - His arms long and big never disappoint. They pick me up with ease - with the dirt, the thorns and all. I feel safe. I am safe. My memories fail me. In His arms, I develop amnesia. I neither remember the pains of a lost business nor the shame of failing to meet people’s expectations of me. Not even my numerous challenges can scare me. The fear that I might fail again pales into insignificance. Lost in His arms, I dare to face life’s challenges, knowing that I cannot lose with Him in my corner. It is the miracle of my Father’s arms

Secured in His love, I rest. Even His rebuke is a scary delight. His cane is measured and purposeful. His words are framed to correct not to destroy. My Father’s frozen face makes me cry. I hate to cross His lines. But, come to think of it, I am only a child. No one knows that better than my Father. His anger is short-lived, like the morning dew in the scorching heat. Wait, I can hear Him say, “Come here child.” As I see His love eyes, I wipe away my tears, my feeling of condemnation dissipating. What boundless love is this? The miracle of my Father’s arms.

Now, I am grown but I am still a child. I don’t ever wish to grow out of His arms. Surely, I have grown in knowledge, wisdom and stature. But just so that I might become more of a child He envisaged. The more I know the more I wish to know, of His love, truth and power. As I grow wiser, I tremble more at His infinite wisdom. His unsearchable wisdom eclipses mine. Every statute I gain reminds me of His incomparable stature. It doesn’t reduce my stature, it only elevates His. It doesn’t make me weak, it only reminds me how much much stronger His arms are. Now, I do more than doff my hat to the great God; I just fall into His arms and worship at His feet. His arms are my safety net; His feet my path to victory. It’s the miracle of my Father’s arms.

The Miracle of my Father’s Arms

“Come on, child, dad is here.”
With that, I turn my whole body towards the sound of his voice, beaming with smiles. His is a loving and soothing voice. Like a poor of water in the desert. I fall recklessly in his arms. The arms long and big never disappoint. They pick me up with ease - with the dirt, the thorns and all. I feel safe. I am safe. My memories fail me. In his arms, I develop amnesia. I neither remember the bully that scares me to death nor the teacher’s whip that hurts. Not even the lost coin that denied me school lunch. The pain from a sprained ankle on the school playground dances away. The miracle of my father’s arms

Secured in his love, I rest. Even his rebuke is a scary delight. His cane is measured and purposeful. His words are framed to correct not to destroy. Dad’s frozen face makes me cry. I hate to cross his lines. But, come to think of it, I am only a child. No one knows that better than my dad. His anger is short lived, like the morning dew in the scorching heat. Wait, I can hear him say, “Come here child.” Immediately, the tempo of my cry rises to a crescendo. But as I feel the warmth of his embrace, the crying tapers out. The miracle of my father’s arms.

The Confession Of A Racist

I am afraid to let you know I am a racist. I am ashamed to accept that I am a racist not because I feel I am superior to others but because I am scared. I am scared stiff that those of different colour, creed or race, that do not have the same priviledges I enjoy today, might someday rise to upstage me. I am a racist because my low self-esteem cannot compete well in the likelihood of an equal opportunity for all As you can see, I need your pity not your resentment.

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Happy New Year To You & All Yours.

A Destruction Waiting To Happen

A bad habit is a product of an imagination that misses its focus. It starts with our careless permission, grows with our blatant indifference and becomes assertive while we watch in disbelief. A bad habit distracts focus, scuttles vision and impedes progress. It is better broken than condoned: because, a bad habit is a destruction waiting to happen.

KEEP HOPE ALIVE

Challenged on every side? Frustrated by the seeming lack of progress? Annoyed by the injustice around you? Feeling like giving up? You are not alone. We have only one world, and it is wired to challenge, frustrate and annoy you. So, before you think of giving up hope, think about what that means. Your giving up serves no useful purpose to you or to the world. You simply just become a part of the statistics. Alternatively, when you look up to God and stand up to the challenge, frustrate the frustration and annoy the injustice, you earn a vital credit that gives quality to your life and emboldens you to fight and win another day and another day. Besides, because you beat the odds, you change the narratives for the world around you. And as your light becomes light to others, you are on the line to change your world.

Come on, keep hope alive! And start right NOW!

Want more? If yes, then it makes the two of us. There is no doubt, contentment is a great gain. You are happier when you appreciate who you are, what you have and where you are. It is the solid foundation for true fulfillment. Even then, contentment is one side of the happy coin. For while contentment is a virtue, complacency (uncritical acceptance of one self or state) is not. The other side of the happy coin is a strong desire to be more, to have more and to move up. The truth is: good life is lived in a delicate balance of seemingly two opposites - in this case; contentment and strong desire. Without a strong desire, contentment gives way to average, and without contentment, a strong desire leads to frustration.

To continually uphold your contentment, you have to want more. And to get more without being frustrated, you have be grateful for what you have.

So, I want more! I want more of God. I want to grow more, dare more, and break more glass ceilings. I want to live more, love more, and give more. Is anyone joining me in saying, “I want more”?

2019: STOP KIDDING YOURSELF

Listen up, 2019! I heard that you said you got me. You boasted that you made life a string of losses for me, with only occasional wins to keep me gambling on.

Stop kidding yourself, will you? I may have lost some battles but the war is still on. Who says life is only understood by what transpired between January and December of a particular year? In case you don’t know; life is not constrained in your boundary. And you are not the best judge of the way the year had gone - because every life is lived forward but only understood backwards. So, time will tell how I had feared within your boundary.

Stop kidding yourself, will you? I have in all reality won every battle you think I lost. For every failure is a learning point and every stumble an opportunity to review, rethink and grow. Ever heard of failing forward?

Stop kidding yourself, will you? Don’t think of yourself more important than you really are. For example, you have an expiry date. And while you are long gone, I will remain. The fact is: after you became history in the midnight of January 1, I am still on my feet - about to make history.

Adieu my arrogant 2019. I am ready for a new adventure called 2020, riding on the back of the experiences you offered me. I am back to my winning ways. Too bad, you will not be around to see me shine.

They call it REASON when they are in control of issues & the coast seems clear. They shift to FAITH when they have lost control & all hopes seem to have dimmed. Those who choose either FAITH or REASON stand on one leg. Successful people deploy both as they march on in life. FAITH and reasons are enemies to a fool; but to the wise they are veritable partners in the murky waters of life.

RUN, BABY! RUN!

There are twin challenges that seek to curtail man's advances. Their combination paralyzes meaningful efforts, scuttles dreams and ambitions, and dims the light of hope. FEAR cripples, the Bible announces. COMPLACENCY kills advances. FEAR is behind the flagging zeal of many. FEAR suggests a retreat and dampens enthusiasm. What we call lethargy is actually the FEAR of the unknown, and particularly of failure. FEAR lets us see the shame of failure long before we make a move and strongly suggests that we play safe. True, a ship is safe in the harbour; but is that what a ship is created for? Isn't a ship meant for a sojourn- troubled and dangerous as it may be?

Each time we overcome our FEARS, we break new grounds. Every successful man or woman knows the joy of triumphing over their FEARS. FEAR stands by cowardly as they walk to the success podium. It is the turn of FEAR to fear. But soon after, COMPLACENCY makes its move on the successful man or woman. It softly but tenaciously asserts: What else is there to achieve? You might not be lucky the next time around, you know. Why not dwell safely on this mountain? COMPLACENCY kills ambitions softly.

So, if you desire is to be the best God has ordained you to be, you must run against your FEARS prayerfully and tenaciously until you win. And when you have won, don't let COMPLACENCY force you to sit back and watch your trophies; just keep running.

Run, baby! Run!

Wake Up & Run!

A major challenge of humanity is not lack of dreams but what we do or do not do with our dreams. In the dead of the night, when we are most vulnerable, the human minds easily take a leave into the fantasy land. But genuine change is forged is the daylight, where with grin determination, conscientious work and with faith in God, we turn our fantasy into reality.

So, wake up and run!

Highflyers' Hangout Moves To Abuja

Are you within the age bracket of 16 and 25? Do you live in or around Abuja? Do you have a burning passion to make a major contribution to our country, Nigeria? Do you seek to be a part of the change the nation needs? Then, you should consider attending the Highflyers' Hangout holding in Abuja City on December 8, 2019, from 9.00 am to 5.00 pm. There are 60 seats to compete for. I shall be facilitating the Hangout. To be considered for a seat, please click the link below:

https://bit.ly/2oQrriK

Between Reason And Faith

I like reasoning about things; it gives me the feeling that I am smart. I like exercising faith too; it gives me the feeling that I am wise. But when faith and reason are at loggerhead, and I strongly feel this still small voice urging me to go on, I usually choose faith. In such circumstances, wisdom is more important to me than smartness.

Why Worry?

There is no point worrying about anything. Worry, rather than solve the problem, creates a new problem - more major than the one it seeks to solve. For the worried man has reduced his capacity to clearly think out a solution. Instead of one, he has two problems. So, smile through your challenges. In the process, you free up your mind and spirit to connect with God and think out a solution.

Why worry?

ARE YOU RISK AVERSE?

He is risk averse and he bids success a farewell. He approaches risk-taking with too much caution and his name is written in pencil. Another embraces risk and success is within his reach. He fumbles and tumbles through the wilderness of risks and his name is written in gold. Risk is no danger; it is an opportunity wearing its best disguise.

GREED

We can excuse greed, calling it: 'working smart' or 'just being creative'. We can even exalt it to the level of 'righteous strife'. But the truth will always be that the greedy ones live a sub-optimal life and put the rest of humanity at risk. Has anyone wondered why God made all of His creation interdependent and not independent? Man needs oxygen from plants. Plants need carbon dioxide from man. The ecosystem, I believe, is God's way of reminding us that we need and exist for each other. The poor needs the rich; and the poor is a project divinely handed out to the rich. To acquire far beyond your needs is not ingenuous; it is greed. To take advantage of others in your inordinate desire to advance yourself is not smartness; it is greed. To seek for more power and fame at the expense of others, is not survival; it is greed.

Does GREED mean being complacent and non-adventurous? Far from it. To aspire is divine. To advance is God-ordained. But to attempt to live by preventing other people from living their own lives, is evil. Our destinies are intertwined. No man TRULY succeeds at the expense of a fellow man.

GREED is a heart issue. Once you have a disquiet in your heart about a deal, stand back to think. Are you about to destroy others in order to climb the success ladder? Let the greedy ones realize that we have only one world. And this one world survives and progresses when the inhabitants - out of the fear of God and respect for humanity, break away from the grip of GREED.

LONELY BUT NOT ALONE

It's tough these days to keep your head above your shoulders. The pressures are mounting; respite deminishing. Hopes fly out of the window; despair breaks in like the predetermined dawn. It's difficult not to be depressed, not to lose it all. You feel alone - all alone in this world. The truth is: everyone feels the same. Challenges have a way of beclouding your vision of the ever-present God. You fail to see the ever-loving God holding you in His arms and daring the storm to consume you. His love is a given, His care a certainty, and His deliverance sure. All He demands is that you look up into His eyes and feel the warmth of His embrace. He wants you to hear Him whisper, "You are not alone, baby. I am with you."

Blessed!

If the justice I deserved had been served with reckless abandon, I would not be where I am today; my dreams would have been a mirage and my life a mess. When cold justice had said YES, Mercy had said NO. I am a living witness of God's redemptive Justice - retributive justice tempered with undeserved mercy.

I am blessed.

Senses Are Not The Real Deal

We judge all too quickly. We often take quick and unreasoned cues from our five senses. Thinking that our senses present infallible truth, we respond to their dictates like Zombies. We cry, we rejoice; we hate, we love; we advance, we retreat; we fear, we are bold...all because our senses say so. We pride in our freedom to choose, yet we are slaves to our feelings. True liberty is not in doing what first comes to your mind. it's your ability to provide a reasoned response to your feeling that casts you as free. What do free people do? They listen to their senses but delay response until they have explored wide enough to come to a decision. That exploring may require praying, studying, asking questions, judging... Whatever they do, they defer gratification of their feelings till they have come to a reasoned conclusion that is consistent with their vision.

Our senses are mere sensors to alert us there is a decision to be made. They are not the decisions. They are not the real deal. The real deal lies in the way the data from the senses are analyzed for the best decision.

So, don't jump the gun. Your feelings of fear, hatred and defeat are not a command to 'Go' but a 'Get Set' to make a reasoned, God-inspired, decision.

LONDON STRATEGIC LEADERSHIP FORUM

The 6th edition of the Forum holds on February 4, 2017 between 10 am and 5 pm. I will be speaking on Change Your Thoughts; Change Yout Life. If you live in and around London, please join me at this life transforming workshop. For more information, see the flier below.

It's Too Late To Give Up

It's too late in the day to give up now. I have committed so much in prayers, faith and concerted actions. I have seen the Promised Land and, by my God, I shall get there.

I know I must not allow the current doubt to get traction. I know I must not look back lest I become faint-hearted. I know I have to do something about the lingering self-doubt.

Dear Lord. I take your hands by faith, hoping against hope and daring to sail above my fears. I know you will take my hands and lead me as only you can.

With your arms around me, Lord, I shall enjoy the journey without losing focus on my destination.

I GOOFED

I thought I knew what you were thinking. So, I spoke. I goofed. You have every right to feel bad like you did. I apologize. But why couldn't I have known I had no right to think for you? Why couldn't I have known I was not a mind reader?

I promise not to assume again that I know what you are thinking. I shall listen intently to you and seek clarifications until I understand your deepest thoughts. Then and only then will I speak. Are you happy now? Thank you so much for giving me another chance to prove how important you are to me.

And now that I have decided to understand you before I again open my mouth to speak, may I respectfully ask you to do the same towards me? Thank you.

WHO DO YOU SECOND?

Man 1: Tell me, why are you always so joyful?
Man 2: The joy of the Lord is my strength, says the Bible.
Man 1: Is that also the reason why you are always positive?
Man 2: My being positive strengthens my joy and puts me on the line for the miraculous.
Man1: But it is so difficult to stay positive; isn't it?
Man : Of course. Nothing good comes easy. But I reason that if the devil is so bent on taking away my peace, then I should do all I can under God to guard my peace.
Man 1: I see.
Man 2: Besides, I believe God and the devil are looking for a seconder. God is on my side but the devil is not. Since out of the mouths of two or three witnesses shall a matter be established, both are are looking for a second witness to establish their plan for me.
Man 1: So, you cast the deciding vote by saying the same thing God is saying about you? Simple but profound.
Man 2: Must go now. Have a joy-filled day. Remember, it is your choice to stay joyful.

The Wise Way To Deal

I am wiser by the day. Each day comes with its distinctive trials and triumphs. Each day offers a full session of learning. so much that there is no room for electives. No room for carrying over of yesterday's courses. No room for covering tomorrow's courses today. Today is all I have, and its all I will work with. So, "tomorrow" should wait for its turn when it becomes "today" to get my attention. For now, I am all for taking full advantage of today. Will you join me?