Celestine NzubeChukwu

Submission in Marriage

My attention was drawn to an interesting question and I've seen many ask this question especially when you are dealing with the issue of submission in marriage. So I decided to give a respond as I think it will help many who are willing to follow the ways of God.

QUESTION.
Why did you skip Eph 5:21 as you taught the subject of submission in marriage?

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:21‬ ‭KJV‬‬
[21] submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

MY RESPONSE.
If you study the book of Ephesians, you will notice that the book is divided into two broad parts;
* Part 1; chapter 1-3 Speaks of the scope and implications of the works of Christ
* Part 2; Chapter 4-6 Speaks of how the finished works of Christ applys to our lives or our responsibilities as believers i light of the fonished works of Christ.

Now the second part of the book which is the place of interest has it's broad categorisation;

Chapter 4
Vs 1-7 Our coperate responsibility towards the unity of the body
Vs 8-16 Our coperate reponsibility towards maturity and perfecting of the body
Vs 17-32 Sanctification and purification

Chapter 5
Vs 1-14 Sanctification and holy living
Vs 15-21 Urgencing and productive kingdom service
Vs 22-33 Instructions to wives and husbands

Chapter 6
Vs 1-4 Instructions for children and parents
Vs 5-9 Instructions to slaves and masters
Vs 10-18 Instructions to the church concerning spiritual warfare
Vs 19-20 Soliciting for intercession
Vs 21-23 Salutations.

Interpreting the bible in context shows that Eph 5:21 in not an instruction to husbands and wives but for the church. We all have someone we submit to in the body, even the Pope has a biological Christian Father he submits to.

If you drag Eph 5:21 into the context of Vs 22-33 which is where the instructions for husbands and wives is taught because you want husbands to submit to their wives, it will bring about a huge contradiction. This is because, in instructing husbands and wives, Apostle Paul used the relationship between Christ and the church to explain the relationship between husbands and wives with the husband representing Christ and the wife representing the church.

The questions you will now be left to answer are:
IS CHRIST SUBMITTED TO THE CHURCH?
IS THE SUBMISSION BETWEEN CHRIST AND THE CHURCH MUTUAL?

If the husband represent Christ and Christ is not submitted to the church, why should the husband be submitted to his wife?

We must be careful:
Not to read our mind into the bible, but rather read the bible into our minds.
Not to try to transform the bible, but allow the bible to transform us.

Again for clarity sake:
Marriage is an institution in the body of Christ with specific rules of engagement.

* The husband is defined as the Head and the wife the body.

* The husband is commanded to sacrifice for his wife as Christ sacrificed for the church and the wife is commanded to submit to her husband as the Church is submitted to Christ.

* The husband and wife are equal in essence as heirs of salvation (1 Pet 3:7) but are not equal in authority in marriage (Eph 5:22-23).

* The husband is commanded to provide for his household 1 Tim 5:8.
If the wife chooses to support him that's her choice not a commandment.

* The husband must relate with his wife with understanding as the weaker vessel etc.

It's important for us to note that Apostle Paul using the relationship between Christ and the church to explain marriage, is indicative of the fact that he expects every true Christian to understand that sacred relationship. If a Christian therefore argues this matter, especially out of context, it simply implies that, the Christian in question does not really understand the relationship between Christ and the Church. That person's problems primarily therefore is not the demands of love or submission, his or her problem is first of all not knowing who a Christian really is.

We must be careful not to allow either African or Western culture influence us over and above the word of God.

Selah.

PERTAINING TO MARRIAGE AND ALL RELATIONSHIP…

“Scripture teaches that we should observe & evaluate others’ behavior so we can respond & minister to them in appropriate ways, which may even involve loving confrontation. (See Matthew 7:1-5; 18:15; & Galatians 6:1.)

We cross the line, however, when we sinfully judge others, which is characterized by a feeling of superiority, condemnation, bitterness, insubordination, lack of trust and love or resentment…

When these attitudes are present, our judging has crossed the line & we're playing God.”

Why can’t I look at my husband and know why he’s not happy and then be calm and let him feel free to express himself than claiming to be right when I’ve not even heard him speak or feeling offended already on why he’s even angry? Who who said a husband can’t give the wife a listening ear simply because he’s the husband?

Did the scripture not say, such as you wish that should be done unto you do so unto others (Math 7:12)

it is commonly referred to as the "Golden Rule." "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12). "Do to others as you would have them do to you" and this will solve 100% problems we have in every relationship and marriages today.

Many think that the Golden Rule is merely reciprocal, as if we act based on how we want to be treated, it also mean that whatever you want people to do to you be the first to do so to them, let them learn peace, giving, love, encouragement and whatever you want them to do to you or unto other from you, they should learn from you and if the husband or the wife should behave in this manner there would be no room for issues in every relationship.

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Shalom!!!

HOW TO WIN AS A COUPLE

1. Cover each other's weaknesses

2. Celebrate each other's strengths

3. Have no topics that you cannot talk about. No judgment. Openness will open your mind to solutions

4. Consider each other's opinions and contribution

5. Be 100% in. Full commitment

(Do follow our page at Love Story for more Love And Relationship Tips, you won’t regret you did)

6. Make incremental progress. Seek growth, not perfection

7. Develop a culture of reviewing your relationship; are we doing OK, and where can we improve?

8. Accept correction, be humble

9. Work on yourselves to be the best wife, the best husband

10. Have joint goals

11. Support each other in your individual goals

12. Keep each other as a priority even as you have friends

13. Thank God together. A thankful couple is a powerful couple

14. Don't compete with each other, accommodate each other

15. Bring whatever lessons or opportunities you learn out there into your marriage. Learn together

16. Be patient. Some wins take time

17. When you fall whether as a couple or as individuals, pick each other up

18. Protect what you have built together. It is very easy to lose it fast

19. Control your tempers. A lot of bad choices are made in moments of anger

20. Don't copy other couples. Create your testimonies.

When u get sick, he calls, when he gets sick, he still calls.
you have Airtime He calls, u don't have airtime he still calls.
Your birthday He buys u a Gift, His birthday he still takes u out.
He sends u money, and still calls to confirm if you've received an alert, u only flashed Him and u re already scolding him to know why he hasn't called back.

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He invited u for a lunch, took care of your bills, u only dressed better than him, but u couldn't afford your transport.
He met u with your friends u sounded rudely, you met him with his friends he was Caring & polite.
He secretly borrowed money to give u, u always told him the money is too small.
Things turn around for him for good and he became very rich, he left u, Too late, You re now ready to love him and u are shading tears, deceiving other women saying; u were their for him when he had nothing, all guys are same..
Your impact in a relationship would determine if a man will marry u, and not your presence.
Should I increase the volume?🔊

I ONLY WANTED A DIVORCE!!!

Married or not ... still worth a read!!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

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On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Lots of love, light and hugs to you all!

If you share this post you just might save a marriage.

RELATIONSHIP TIPS

👍3 FOOLISH THINGS LOVERS DO IN A RELATIONSHIP.

1) FIRST TO CALL.

Like seriously, it's childish to wait for someone you are in a Relationship with or married to to call first before you call.

You wake up in the morning and you are waiting for your spouse who stays at a different location or traveled to be the one to call you First.
That's unhealthy.
Soon none of you will be calling each other.

It's not that you don't have airtime, not that your phone is down, You even want to hear their voice, but you don't want to be the first to call,
That's a sign of IMMATURITY.

2) FIRST TO APOLOGIZE.

This usually happens after both of you have had a misunderstanding,
after you both said harsh things, and you know you should apologize, but then you want your partner to apologize first, and the silence drags on for days, and you are still waiting for who will apologize First.

This is a sign of PRIDE in You personally.
Break the cycle, be the better person, be the peace maker today.

If you both have this mindset of apologizing, settling issues, your relationship will be so easy.

(Hey! You want more of this right, you really want to get the right person? or make that relationship work again?
Just follow us here Love Story, we have everything that should give you a sustainable relationship. As us question when you need to and tell us your story when you need to, you need help let us know too, we have answers to all your questions)

3) TRYING TO SHOW YOU CAN DO WITHOUT THEM.

Many people who do this do it out of fear. It usually goes like this, "If I show him/her how much I truly love him/her now, he/she will take me for granted/take me for a ride".

Don't let such mindset rule you, otherwise you will crash your Relationship.

Showing your spouse you love them deeply and need them isn't a sign of weakness.
It's a sign of Love and strength, strength because you don't need someone but yet you willingly handicap yourself just for them to find relevance around you.

Ask for his or her help sometimes, even if you can do without it.
Ask his or her opinions even if you know what to do.

Tell them they complete you, and show It.
Call them, miss them, want them, need them.
Being overly independent of your spouse will only make your spouse feel useless and not needed.

Happy new month

You need these 3 things actively working in your marriage and or relationship...✍🏾

1. Serving
2. Sacrificing
3. Compromising

Serving - In marriage it can never be just about you, You have to think with a mindset of how can I serve, cover and make things better for my spouse or spouse to be. Remember Selfishness is the root core of all divorce and breakups here is why – It means somewhere along the road someone was not wiling to compromise in an area or it could have meant someone did not consult with the other for a variety of reasons.

Sacrificing – This probably goes hand in hand with serving. A Sacrifice is usually tied to something you perhaps don’t feel like doing for your mate or it could be a stretch to do it. Marriage is going to require many sacrifices at different times from both spouses or individuals, and often when you probably least expect it. Real sacrifice is a definitive of reflecting of real love.

Compromising – says you want your way, while he or she wants their way. Whats more realistic is getting a way you both agree on. Something like this could require your spouse getting what they want at that moment, and you getting what you want at another time, or it could mean you perhaps may not get all of your way but some of it or any combination in between.

-------Ge Ntle Quote's®

6 PRINCIPLES FOR CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS
****************************************
1) Avoid Over/Self Confidence.

Never forget that it is blood that flows through you. Not olive oil.

Know your limit and stay within it..

You know that ordinary hug can make you forget your salvation experience, please Sir, kuku avoid the hugging, don't say that nothing will happen. E go shock you

2) Know that your partner has a limit beyond which they Will fall.

Especially for ladies

Stop dressing seductively to visit your fiancé.
He's a human being too, even if he is the fellowship president or youth pastor.

Because he is spiritual, when he comes to visit you you will wear bum shot and singlet without Bra, you forget he has eyes, before Spiritual Man go give you belle.

Brothers you too, stop playing rough play, don't be touching sister anyhow,.

Don't start a fire and complain later that the fire service came late.

3) Limit Physical contact

I know your love language is physical touch, but wait till you get married.

UNNECESSARY Hugs that are just an excuse to cuddle her and "tap current" should be avoided, before current go shock you..

You won't die if you don't kiss during courtship, exercise self discipline and restraint.

After marriage if you want to swallow his/her lips that time, fire down. For now, cool your temper.

4) Avoid Circumstances that can lead to unnecessary stories.

👉 Late night visits

👉 Staying in one corner hugging each other

👉 Flirtatious Chats filled with sexual innuendo

5) Keep like Minded Friends

Keep friends who believe in abstinence before Marriage, not friends who are chronic Fornicators.

Keep friends who will encourage you to keep up the fight, not those that will call you 'mumu' for practicing abstinence.

6) Incorporate Spiritual exercises into your Relationship Routine.

Fast and Pray together as a couple.

Study the Bible Together.

Grow SPIRITUALLY together. Not just ROMANTICALLY

"Walk in the spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh"

7) Have a Mentor for your Relationship.
****************************************

(c)Love Story

CHEATING IS A CHOICE, STAYING FAITHFUL IS ALSO A CHOICE.❤️

You will always meet ladies who are more attractive than your woman, you will meet ladies with more vibes, you will meet women who are more informed, you will meet women who acts as though they care more than your woman.

Also as a woman you will meet men who are far richer than your man, you will meet men with more attractive body than your man, you will meet men with more vibes, you will meet men who act more caring than your spouse, you will meet men who talks better than your man;

I mean men who knows how to say sweet words, crack jokes. Etc.
Note. People must always be better than others in some areas of life.

And sometimes the people we see as being better than our spouses may not even be what we feel they're. Note. People show you what they want you to see and most of the time it is not their true self they reveal outside.

Learn to appreciate your partner
Love your partner without any reservations.
Whenever you feel unsatisfied regarding any aspect your partner is not doing well, be willing enough to open up to him/her.

Be satisfied please.
It takes commitment, and self control and discipline to stay faithful, and believe me it is achievable.

Love is never enough, self-discipline and relentless commitment is very essential when it comes to relationship/marriage.
Stay Faithful.

One Woman Is Enough!
One Man Is Enough!

*SO "NEXT OF KIN" IS USELESS IN THE BANK.*

*THE REAL THING NEEDED IN THE BANK IS*
👇👇
*IF YOU DIE TODAY, YOUR "NEXT OF KIN" WILL NOT HAVE ANY ACCESS TO THE MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT!!!*

*So Many Nigerians Think That Their Next Of Kin Is The Automatic Heir To Their Accounts. But The TRUTH Is That If Your Next Of Kin Is Not A Signatory To Your Account, And You Don’t Have A Written Will To Determine That Person’s Legitimacy, The Person Will Not Have Access To That MONEY At All. Your Bank Will Have To Go Through A Process Called A LEGAL PROBATE.*

*This Probate Period Helps Them Determine Who Gets The MONEY In Your Account. This Is A Very Very Lengthy And Expensive Process. Even After The Whole Process Is DONE, Your FAMILY Will Have To FORFEIT Some Very REASONABLE Amount Of The MONEY For LEGAL FEES.*

*But If You Want To Avoid This, Simply Request For Your Bank To Give You Something Called A POD Form. POD Stands For "PAYABLE ON DEATH". The Name Of The Person You Fill In That POD Form Will Determine Who Will Get Your MONEY. All The Person Needs To Bring Is A Death Certificate To Get That MONEY Out.*

*With A POD Form, You Will Save Your FAMILY The Stress Of Going Through All That Lengthy Legal Process And Even Losing Some MONEY To The Law.*

*I Just Thought, I Should Let You Have Record Of This Important Information*

Copied!

COMMUNICATION TIPS FOR COUPLES

1. Remember it is not what you say but how you say it

2. Before you give your spouse your opinion, request for your spouse's opinion on the matter. This makes discussing any topic easier

3. When you two are not in good terms as husband and wife, at least talk to each other as friends

4. Respect is a two way street. Respect your spouse as you expect your spouse to respect you

5. Don't react to your spouse, respond instead. If you react, when your spouse does wrong, you will do wrong back; but when you respond, you will do what is best for your marriage even when your spouse does wrong

6. Communication is not just in the words you speak, but your body language and your facial expression. You could be giving your spouse cold vibes and pushing him/her away

7. Choose the right time and setting to talk about difficult subjects. Not everytime is a good time to talk about heavy things

8. But also, don't avoid talking about difficult topics. Piled up issues morph into complicated issues. Create time

9. One of the greatest killers of communication in marriage is silent treatment, it solves nothing and only pushes you two apart

10. The more your spouse feels you listen to him/her, the more your spouse will enjoy talking with you. Remember it is not just about your feelings and comfort

11. Appreciating your spouse makes communication sweeter. Be a thankful spouse

12. You cannot have a marriage without good communication. Protect communication at all cost

13. When you don't see issues as an emergency, it will lessen their power and damage to your marriage. Relax. Panic can easily lead to frustration and wrong words and actions. Marriage is long term, calm down, you will figure things out eventually

14. If you don’t have anything good or kind to say to your spouse, hold your tongue till your anger and feelings settle. Let your speech be well-seasoned

Tinubu has done what no governor has been able to do all these years, Lagos road is now as free as my village road, you can now say I will get to Lekki in an hour time and in an hour you are in Lekki unlike b4 an hour can turn out to be 5hrs.

please confirm!!!