Pregnancy & Birth Doula Services. Childbirth Educator & Bereavement Support

When I am back, I have a lot to update you about. For right now.. my family’s well deserved vacation ☺️

Happy summer vacation everyone! 🥂👋🏾

VERSATILITY & OUTDOOR LIVING: one of the reasons I LOVE camping is the essence of humility it resurfaces in us all.

You learn to do with the little you have. You wash everything every now and then to make sure you still look human enough yet clean and content with only the little that you brought with you

In France many times I didn’t even have makeup on, simply washed my face, applied a good sunscreen and we were good to go exploring the neighboring surroundings ☺️

Human interaction is also perfect! The best wifi connection was only at the reception and restaurant area but within the tents it was more less “speak to each other” kind of reality

So on day two we already had a lovely click with our neighbors tents because our children were almost the same ages. We introduced ourselves when we arrived and then the rest fell into place ☺️ It started with the kids playing together, and by day 2 we invited them to our tent for drinks and bites when the children were sleeping ☺️🥂

This was on the wash day. We all shared what the weather man thought it would be and there was speculations that the following few days it was going to rain.

And because the days that followed were going to be wet, everyone did their laundry today and made use of the sun. Tents were aired and then we all hit the stream for some swimming and handball by the water ☺️🙌🏾

Baby wearing: is what we do ancestrally. If you didn’t carry your children in my village, you either couldn’t because you were ill or they couldn’t be carried (the babies) for whatever reason. Baby wearing is one of the survival teachings we receive aside from being able to peal things and help with the cooking etc

I grew up carrying my brothers, cousins and the neighbors children too ☺️. In Mijikenda we call it “kue-reka” ☺️

With a wheelchair amidst us, I try to encourage our little one to walk and then when he’s tired, I put him on my back and we continue to graze and move as a pack easily

This is a Kenyan way of carrying and that’s a traditional wrap that is made with print. The length is made to cater for both needs;
(1) wrapping as “stiri” around your waist
(2) carrying children as and when so the wrap can be wrapped and knotted safely to the front ☺️

In France where pram accessibility is very limited, unpleasant even, it becomes so doable when you can simply put your children in carriers, especially this area when we went Glamping ☺️

FROM WORK TO WORK/ MAMA DUTIES: after dealing with chicken pox and working still, we dealt with lice. This treatment impressed me actually. I will share which one we used but as soon as k arrived back home after a double shift. My daughter asked me to check if the nests were still visible. She collected a huge amount on her pillow the morning after the treatment 😳 I was shocked

My daughter throughout her nursery, primary school life she NEVER got them even though there were numerous warnings of “lice case found in class” sent. Her hair was braided and I used tea tree oil throughout

Then came the teenage years and she wanted to try shaving the hair, having highlights.. okay!! And then the lice came!

How? Apparently; lice are attracted to clean hair! With short hair one washes the hair more frequently and your scalp is then stimulated more often and they love that environment! They can embed themselves easily on your scalp 😳

My daughters first reaction was embarrassment. She felt dirty she said, it’s like I don’t wash my hair properly then 🥰 puberty! I assured her anyone can get lice.. the clean, the dirty, children, mamas and papas!

So for us, It took 1 full treatment and a wash and then x6 days of combing everyday to get everything out 🙌🏾. Her bedding was washed on a hot cycle and all surfaces steamed too. It was shocking to actually see the lice in real, moving, and then when dead. They’re little buggers!! 😳😶

We can enjoy our summer in peace now, with cinema evenings, Doritos and cuddles, mama-daughter outings and “gezelligheid” but what a marathon! ☺️🙌🏾

They both said “I have no idea why you don’t do this as a business, woman!! Are you serious?! These plates?! Do it! We will order!! 😂🙌🏾

Postpartum meal for a family I am now supporting. I love to see their reactions, surprise and then gratitude. If I would do anything on the side, it would be postpartum meals 🥰🙌🏾

In Kenya where I am from, food is medicine. And I have watched the content faces from mothers who felt held and fed too 🥰

If you get me in your postpartum bed.. you can count on warm heartfelt meals, cooked with love and intended for you too

There’s a reason why I am always happy when I work with . I have met quite a few of these ladies as a doula before, worked with them always with pleasure for a long time now and their mutual respect for others who are not midwives still touches me!

As a doula I have worked with some of them 1:1. Many times what I have received from them was “what do you think? Where do you think she’s at in your opinion? “I think we can break her waters now, do you agree? ☺️

The last 15 months I bumped into many of them and the question was “heeeyy!! What are you doing here then? When I replied “I am a student! We both laugh first, many times they’re like “you? A student? Ha! The company is lucky to have you! and then I remind them 😂 “ssshhh I AM a student! 😂

Yesterday I met another one of their team at an address and when I called for advise she did the same. She gave advise and then asked on a loudspeaker “what do you think Naomie? You’re with them more than us, do you agree it’s a good plan?”

When you work with folk who have a mutual understanding that everyone really is a team member and our end goal is the same; “to give parents the support and carry them through their postpartum. That at the end of the kraamweek they felt they have built a foundation to continue” is worth a million! It makes you want to communicate with them and learn too because many times they give tips you think “Aha!

Thank you for how you work and making it always pleasant to work alongside you! 🙏🏾☺️

Chicken pox and it’s puzzle to diagnose, prevent and treat in the Netherlands

So the daycare where my son goes to have had a round of chicken pox going. No one said anything, the Nannie’s and babysitters we have are English speaking

It wasn’t until my youngest woke up with fever, itching, blisters that are opening and some still coming that I thought “hey! This is chicken pox!

My sons nanny has it and got it bad also. It’s in the season.. but then warn parents so people think if to send their children to day care for a while or not.

If you have to fly anywhere you’re doomed afterwards as you have to get a fit to fly declaration. What a timing!!

So I had contact with the group teachers.. one casually said “well, everyone will get it, it’s hard but treatable” another said “there was a notice on the door that we have chicken pox in the group but no email was sent out to parents”

Great! This sort of information I NEED to know because of my work. I work with pregnant women and newborn babies!!

My gp says as long as the spots are weeping to stay away from that group of people, he is contagious and incubation period is upto 5 days?! (Work would love to hear it)

I am not going anywhere anyway with my child needing me and itching like crazy though..

Dutch people as a people are very laid back including with sickness like this. I heard, some even host chicken pox parties so that all the children can get it together 🤔

When I look at how my child is miserable now? I wouldn’t subject him to it knowingly 🤔.

What now?

(1) bathe him in oats
(2) apply cooling gel afterwards
(3) give him antihistamine for the itch
(4) cuddles and wait it out

Yesterday my daughter officially finished primary school 🙌🏾😳 Parents had tasks to prepare and bring platters to school for their end of school party. My daughter asked for Kenyan snacks.. so..the platters were made ☺️😋😋

And the trays were gone immediately they arrived said the husband ☺️🙏🏾🙃

I now have a teenager at home guys!! Those of you who know her know what I mean.

She started life very featherweight weighing 1756grams at birth. A NICU baby born literally a few weeks of me arriving in the Netherlands with no one to call my own even. All I had was my husband and his family and boxes scattered everywhere from the move from Kent to Amsterdam back then ☺️

I did have an though in my inbox and a few others who stayed in touch because “bloody hell Nom! What a move! Many said 😂😂😂. I had it all in the UK! My own house, my job, a mortgage to pay.. but I didn’t have Tom! 💕

Now when I look at her?!? My innie-Winnie-minnie- meisje is a teenager FULL of life, BRAINS and LOVE. She’s the most sensitive and reasonable young lady you would meet.

I am raising her up like my mother raised me. I do not influence her in my dislikes because she has to find her own. I barely give her the tools to think things through and think hard if they’re for her ☺️

I am a happy and tired mama today. My bones need resting, my soul needs breathe and my body has asked me to stop today ☺️😂. And I miss my own mama.. so I am doing me and recharging today!! 👊🏾🙌🏾🙃



❤️

ENERGIES/TANTRUMS: it’s incredible how children pick them up even without understanding a lot. These last few months have been stressful with anticipating when I would be able to complete my schooling, having deep decision sit downs with my husband about what next, what works and what doesn’t work for our family, our long term nanny is going back to her home country, I have been looking frantically for replacements, interviewing when I can through double shifts.. it’s been LOADS going on

Many times I felt like I was hanging on thread. My personal life already draining and work demands added on top

My youngest son has been having more tantrums than before these last few weeks too. He feels neglected he said through tears, I just want to sit on you! I want to sit on mama!. When I asked him why he feels that he said “I miss a cuddle! I want a cuddle with mama!! Then it hit me.. I have been quite distant so I can survive through it all and he picked it. It took tonight’s tantrum for me to stop, hug him tightly whilst he smelt the milk and at one point I noticed our heart beats were in sync too. He let this huge shaking sigh and I knew then he had released it

Maternity nursing is demanding and finding that work-life balance is almost impossible sometimes. Add that to being a student you’ll know you have not much choice and you are stuck to a contract. Finishing the education means you can liaise what your situation is and what you’re capable of doing.. so hoorah to this milestone! I know my husband is done caring for 3 children alone every other weekend 😏🫣

But anyway…schooling and mum life combined can be hectic, you don’t need to tell me now. Chasing your dreams come with a price and this was mine. My children had to grow up so fast 😶

Many times when I am doubling I literally have a coma on the couch when I arrive home from exhaustion. And it’s not even the physical part that exhausts me.. it’s the mental draining that handling, dealing and understanding two energies, needs and wants do to you

I have a mega list to share with this regard.. I’ll see how to best do that ☺️ because phew!!

What a tragic for Kenya 🇰🇪. 54 feared dead in a tragic accident that took so many lives today. A good friend lost an aunt, uncle and a cousin today in this grisly accident 😔

I can only pray for Peace upon the families and loved one. It’s a sad day!! 🙏🏾🇰🇪

Due to public demand!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾 After the summer vacations I will be giving childbirth preparation sessions privately again ☺️. My busy schedule would hopefully be calmer and I can make sense of things more 🙏🏾

I have had to cancel quite a lot of requests, passed doula clients to some colleagues and turn down email requests from families who have checked my website, saw what I offered that they needed and I could not.

I do miss what I love! And I love to meet you and support you and walk through many aspects with you too ☺️. There’s a lot coming!!

I am also thinking about sessions and I am working on a location. Once it’s settled I will update here and my website ☺️

Why did I pause on it? As a student I decided to focus on my studies first. But!! I know I can combine it afterwards so please share and share with your contacts too ☺️

Shortly I will update my website too with some more exciting news ☺️🥰🙏🏾

Do you know ancestrally, calming herbs, in bark or leaf form were used especially in the postpartum period to help with various needs of healing?

In Kenya and especially in Mombasa, Mkilifi is like paracetamols in the Netherlands. Many big compounds grow the trees that become the tree of health for generations to come because Mkilifi plan is weather resilient like the baobab tree

Chamomile in bulb form is amazing for perineum support. If you had a rupture, an episiotomy wound, any kind of discomfort perineum a chamomile concoction is your best friend.

Your perineum will thank you for it ☺️

Why? Chamomile extract's high content of α-bisabolol helps to reduce inflammation, cleanses the wound, brings moisture to the damaged tissues, and soothes any discomfort. This combination of effects will increase the rate of cell regeneration and accelerate the healing process.

HOW? Pour an undiluted mix in your squirting bottle, add warm water and spray of pour at the same time you p*e to cleanse yourself

You can also use the mix to compress on a clean pad and simply put the pad on

PS: People with known allergies to plants of the same family, such as daisies, ragweed, marigolds, and chrysanthemums should exercise caution before using any form of Chamomile

Thoughtfulness: is when they return the tips you gave them back to you. Sometimes we give and give that we forget to follow our own advice 😂🫣

So as newborn parents it’s very easy to forget yourselves. The focus to care for, learn, worry, exhaust, and concentrate on your little one makes many parents put themselves in the back banner. Very natural, but we also need to normalize enjoying a moment for ourselves too

As parents, full stop, it’s very easy to keep going and forgetting to pause and fill your own lungs too. Your lives revolve around your children’s developments, needs, wants, and you keep giving, readjusting and giving some more

This was a gift I received “to practice what I preach” ☺️ To also take the time and enjoy the company of my own husband. To enjoy a quiet moment when the chaos calm down. To take time out ☺️🙌🏾

Thank you!! 🙃☺️🙏🏾

A profound encouraging feedback from a family I just cared for ☺️. Making contact sometimes can be difficult with people especially when you meet them in their worst, emotional, insecure, in pain, hormones all over the place and you are an unfamiliar face to add to the mix also

I introduced myself and explained sometimes I might be looking for the right word to use to explain something and she said, don’t rush it ☺️. I was surprised! In a lovely way actually.

I was surprised at her level of humility even in her worst, she was very gentle with me and even said “you can say it English also if it doesn’t come” but I was stubborn to keep the language!

With this family I spoke Dutch the whole time. I think I spoke the most Dutch that my family was surprised even when I arrived home I couldn’t find the English words easily 😂😂

On my last working day with a family I always check I met their expectations and ask them for feedback too. What can I take to the next family?

Their feedback is of course not exhausted but! It warmed my heart and I was floating biking home with a smile on my face, content at everything we were able to do in the given time

Amazing to be in the presence of a family growing, adjusting and reawakening together as a clan unit. Amazing to watch the hormones settle and the self trust become. Amazing to then watch them run with it as they take lead and “ask you” to only watch and correct where they need correcting and you see it they’re ready! Even amazing to see them reconnect as a couple using all the tips you shared with them, like creating time for each other and clapping their little wins along the journey of parenting ☺️

I was very proud of myself with this couple. I felt it in the depth of my bones that my presence left a positive impact and I’ll take that and run with it myself!! 💪🏾☺️🙏🏾

This glass here was a gift I started receiving the last 2 days from the man of the house. He said “you need to have the strength for my wife’s questions and not forgetting a cup of tea that was ready every day I walked in with an announcement “hier naomie, met twee klontjes! ☺️

Oooohhhhh ☺️🙃🥂

An amazing birth and a perfect postpartum experience is not true for everyone. Some have an amazing birth experience but struggle to bind or connect with their babies and vice versa.

The right support can help empty your already busy mind, because many times birthing people/mothers stay busy in their heads “worrying” of what they’re feeling is true and how everyone else around them thinks (think judgments here!)

It’s not all the time that a mother can look at her baby and think “oh isn’t she cute or isn’t he adorable”

For many.. this love grows. With the right support you will be able to warm your heart towards your baby and enjoy the experience of a postpartum

I am in my lane right now.. exactly what I know and where I can be meaningful also, to a beautiful family 🥰

Parenting is testing, it will test you to your core and make a grown man cry, literally.
It’s beautiful but work and therefore you just know when to back down and go with the flow

There are friends and community members who stay the course, but many times parenting becomes one aspect of your life where many the friends and acquaintances dwindle

Your schedule is different than everyone else’s, you’d subject of discussion is different than everyone else’s, your interests are different too. The pace in how fast you show up changes all together

In your moment of isolation, find solace and adjust. A time will come when you will be able to pick your pace/tempo, be spontaneous again, enjoy the things you once used to enjoy.. but for the first x amount of years (your family situation will decide that), enjoy and adjust

When you meet a lactation consultant that is so spot on she turns the home visit into a complete learning session for you as a maternity nurse 💪🏾☺️

She iterated my passion for lactation. She made me bike home smiling, literally

I had heard this name for a while and meeting her this afternoon was spot on. She explains things very logically. What I also loved about her was the understanding of different cultures where breastfeeding is concerned

The moment I mentioned I am Kenyan ☺️ she gave a whole description on how our (Kenyan/African) supporting of birth and the postpartum is done according to her understanding and especially the breastfeeding part ☺️

I was impressed!! She’s going to be the “other” lactation consultant I’ll add to my list of referrals!! 🙌🏾☺️

PARENTING is what it is. Compare it to breastfeeding. It’s the best with the right support and in the right environment, but it’s an art you need to learn and adjust so many times.. literally your lifetime! At least breastfeeding stops at some point 😂

But whilst you are learning, growing and adjusting.. don’t forget to pay attention to those little achievements and wins. Don’t forget to enjoy the journey and take the adventure for what it is.. and remember the many times why you agreed to xyz

Don’t focus on the end result where they are grown up and you feel you can breath, be sure to be present through the process for them too. Be sure to support and help them become along the way. They will never remember the money values of things but they never forget your presence. And many times you don’t have to know it all.. simply be. Let them remember that “you were there”

… And being human means you are vulnerable. That you feel, that you doubt yourself sometimes and that you have have emotions. That you are layered and therefore sometimes a certain layer will be triggered that will knock your knees off and bring you to the ground

Perfect does not exist!! Strong is a facade too! You will go through things for your children or your family and probably come out the other side smiling but it does not make you the master of life. Parenting is a journey of evolving, growing and learning

Parent however you know know how to, but please keep it “human”. Your little ones will thank you for it later on. Many times it’s not immediately but you’ll get your flowers for sure! ☺️

BELGIAN TRADITION AFTER CHILDBIRTH: Not the typical beschuit met muisjes.. almost though ☺️

Two weeks ago I supported a family with one parent Belgian.

When the family came to visit from Belgium they brought “sugar candy” for the house, meant for everyone who comes to see the baby to leave with a few boxes in celebration of the newborn baby ☺️

The sweets are placed on a beautiful tray near the entrance or exit of the family room and you are reminded to pick a box or two when you leave ☺️

The candy colors and packaging are chosen according to the baby born and the grandmother even explained they do have neutral colors too these days so not gender specific 🙌🏾☺️

The content inside can also be mixed. Chocolates or nuts like almonds are common ☺️

I personally loved them! And you can imagine they were gone in a blink when I arrived home. My little one even asked the following day “will baby pippa give more candy today? 😂😂

My advice for many of the couples that come my way or I meet along my rounds is this one; whatever it may be, and however difficult it may seem.. don’t forget to BREATH

Sometimes you’ll be tested and tried, you’ll want to book a one way ticket to Timbuktu. Through all the turmoil and confusion … don’t forget to BREATH.

With every pause comes a restructure even in your head. With every pause there’s a reset even in the heart. There is comfort in the pause. There’s clarity in the pause. There’s peace in the sigh.

See?.. They didn’t come with a manual and many times you will remain in the repetitive-mode. The expectation that you’ll know how to operate something without a manual doesn’t even make sense! It takes a lot of trials and tribulations to get things working where you find joy especially without a guide or manual!

So… Don’t loose yourself, BREATH to keep the course. BREATH to stay above it all

PASSED: Last week my classmate and I had an exam we both had to “give”. It was a presentation we both had to present individually and get rated, and we both passed ☺️🥰. One of our teacher actually took this photo ☺️

As classmates.. We looked back on the classes we had to attend here the last year. The practical classes we took with our once favorite teacher Sandy in one of the “lab rooms”, the classes we received from another favorite (mine) teachers and Anneke.

Just unbelievable that the next time we will meet as a class again will probably be our last, because this particular classmate works at another organization.. but we WILL stay in touch for sure ☺️

I’ll miss the classes and the interaction with the teachers. I’ll miss the connections and team work assignments we used to be given, the interactions to solve them and share. I’ll simply miss being in a class ☺️

But! I am looking forward to what’s to come now. We are almost.. almost done! ☺️. What a year!! What a ride!

With everything that happens at home? I can look back with pride actually. I am so bloody proud of myself! 🙃 Ppppffff 🥂

Happy BIRTHDAY!!!

Looking back on the memories.. I stopped at realizing how very far and adventurous the journey has been! 1 year ago I was doubling with an amazing begeleider and 2 wonderful families.

These two families welcomed me as a student 1 year ago. The experience I had with them and my supervisor then remains one I treasure! 🥰

May you both grow to be loving, hardworking, respectful and healthy children. May you both be your families source of pride, all the days of your lives!

And happy parenting to your parents!! .rijk & .msp

🙌🏾🥂 I miss working with you! ☺️🥰

PRIVATE BIRTH PREPARATION SESSIONS: I missed it! I played with the idea to take the leap or not, to accept this couple or not because my time is so tight right now with exams and “life” in general. With a backup team.. it’s doable! ☺️

There’s a couple I met on a zoom call for a few preparation sessions, and when we planned the last one, it never came to be. I ended up being called by the husband to go to the hospital, he said “she needs you now” and I actually met them in person for the first time when she was in labour ☺️. We would speak between contractions ☺️.

To-date; She’s still here! ☺️

So this evening I gave a private birth preparation session to a couple near me ☺️. One of the exams I have to take is attend a birth. Unfortunately I can’t choose my client for the exam but!! I am enjoying meeting couples and talking about my favorite topics again

My mode of practice is getting the men in the world of pregnancy, birth and the life after. It’s what I know

My midwife friend/colleague will tell you .. I am not so gentle when I put the message out there especially to our brothers!! ☺️ They need an awakening and enlightenment in all things support! That’s where I come in ☺️🙃

It will test you to the core
It will make you doubt your capabilities
Your strengths to withhold
Your ability to keep it together
Your mental health

It comes in variations and nobody has quite grasped it.

The relief the father of the house I am now caring for had this morning! When it’s your baby you are more careful, more worrying, asking questions you think are stupid but trust me! No question is silly or small. Ask the questions when your maternity nurse is present because once they’re gone.. you go on an appointment system! That “little” question you have? You’ll have to make an appointment and take time off work for

We love being asked questions!!
And parenting is NOT lineal! ☺️

And it’s worth recognizing what triggers you and how you deal with it.

Healing is a process, you have to remember to take a minute to restructure. Take a moment to rethink and think your plan through. Not every trigger demands your immediate reaction, breath first before you react. It’s far fetched I know but! There is wisdom in that pause you take between chaos

This last week I met various couples who reminded me so much about the strength of women, the strength of parents and the strength in togetherness.

Previous experiences will always bring back memories. Some will remind you how strong you really are, some will bring that doubt to surface, it will test your confidence

Whatever you do, don’t forget to breath through it