Sleepy Simbas

It was an honour to have the lovely Bobby-Lea from Mums4Mums attend the first Sleepy Simbas workshop at the Harvest Health Hub. Here is what she had to say about it: “I recently attended a workshop hosted by Sleepy Simbas, and it was a lovely experience. Hosted in town on 3rd Avenue - I was grateful for the free car parking. The workshop was in a spacious room for Mamas, babies and toddlers to spread out and relax. The focused was on helping Mama's get more sleep without resorting to sleep training. The facilitator, Vanessa, encouraged the Mama's to tune into their instincts as parents, which was both empowering and reassuring.​​​​​​​​
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One of the most valuable aspects of the workshop was the comprehensive understanding it provided about what is normal in regard to our little one’s sleep patterns. The guidance on small tweaks that could be made to improve sleep quality was practical and easy to understand. ​​​​​​​​
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Overall, the workshop was insightful and supportive. I highly recommend Sleepy Simbas sessions to any parent looking to naturally enhance their understanding of their child's sleep.” ​​​​​​​​
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If you want to attend the next workshop, you can already book your spot via the link in my bio. Hoping to see you on July 25th at the .

I love this! I'm a huge advocate for learning to read your baby first. Wake windows can cause a lot more stress than necessary. If for you, they are a helpful starting point, great. But don't feel like you're tied to the clock because you're not. And there is a HUGE range of what is considered "normal" when it comes to sleep times and timings. ❤️

Wake windows - are they the be all, end all?

Only a few more days until my first workshop at the , so I thought I would share a bit about me, as well as a few things you can expect on Thursday.

🇨🇦I’m Canadian, though I haven’t lived there since 2009! I moved to Aotearoa in 2021. In between, I lived in Germany, Italy, Vietnam and Tanzania. Although I’ve been here for almost 3 years, it’s still hard to wrap my brain around the fact that here, I’m the one with the accent! 😂
✍️I’m also a writer. I remember writing a poem about Paris when I was 9, but it wasn’t until I moved to Berlin that I actually started writing. I recently completed my Master in Creative writing and my thesis was a novel about Motherhood.
💤I worked with a Baby-Led Sleep and Wellbeing Specialist to try to sort out the dumpster fire that was sleep in our home. That experience opened up our eyes to a whole new way of parenting, one that resonates with us a lot more than what we thought we were supposed to be doing. During the pandemic, I trained to get my certificate so that I could help people parent more in line with their instincts and ignore the noise telling them to do otherwise.
💕I have 3 kids: 2 school aged tamariki and a 10 month old bubba.

Now, what can you expect from the session on Thursday?
✨science-based sleep info
✨a relaxed, jugement-free setting
✨time for more general sleep & attachment questions.

So… who’s joining me? Sign up via the link in my bio.

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Next week, I’ll be offering the first of many sleep workshops at the The focus of this first workshop will be to discuss Biologically Normal Infant & Toddler Sleep. Here’s what I will dive into:
👶🏿What is Biologically Normal Infant & Toddler Sleep?
👶🏾What Affects Sleep?
👶🏽Wake Windows and Schedules
👶🏼Safe Sleep Practices
👶🏻Survival Tips

The focus of each session will be different and in July I'll talk about Sleep in the First Year. Sessions will be an hour long, which will include time for a Q&A, however please note that I won’t be able to answer overly personal questions as there are a multitude of factors that can impact sleep and I can only get the full picture by having you answer specific questions.

I’m hoping you will leave the session feeling more empowered about how to listen to your gut when it comes to sleep and to ignore the noise from society. I’m hoping you will leave having connected with other like-mided māmā. And I’m hoping you will leave knowing that you are doing a fantastic job.

So come meet me next Thursday for tea/coffee at 1:00, so we can dive into our sleep session at 1:30! Bubbas are welcome – mine will be there too. You can book your spot via the link in my bio. If you’re not in this season of life, but know someone who is, why don’t you share this post with them? And if there’s a topic you want to see covered, please pop it in the comments or send me a DM. Hope to see you next week!

Beautiful words from Mums4Mums this morning ❤️

Here's a gentle reminder for all the incredible moms out there: Embrace the chaos, for in it lies the beauty of motherhood. Amidst the busy schedules, spilled milk, and endless hugs, there's a magical journey unfolding every day. Take a moment to appreciate the laughter, the mess, and the love that make this journey so special. You're doing an amazing job!

www.mums4mums.org.nz

I like to tell parents who don’t intend to bedshare to make sure they know how do it safely. It makes the transition a lot easier and safer at 2 am than falling asleep rocking your baby in the rocking chair for example. Do you know how to bedshare safely?

Book your ticket through the link in my bio. If you can’t make it, add your name to the mailing list to find out about the next one. And if you know a māmā who might be interested, share this post with her. ❤️

I get asked a lot about those silly sleep "regressions", so here are a few thoughts. ​​​​​​​​
😴 It can be so easy to fixate on why our babies are not sleeping, especially as we find out through Google/FB groups/friends that they go through sleep "regressions" at 4, 6, 8-10 months, 1 year, 18 months, and 2 years. Remember my previous post? We can't control sleep. I think the only benefit of knowing about the possible "regressions" is that it can help us prepare our survival toolkit like taking shifts with our partner or being extra gentle with ourselves.​​​​​​​​
😴 If we think about how much our baby's brain grows while they're little, we should be absolutely amazed at how much they are learning. Their brain, like ours, does not turn off at night. "Regressions" tend to be timed with huge developmental changes like physical milestones or separation anxiety. In that sense, why not think about them as "progressions" and just revel in the wonder of all our kids are learning? (With a cup of coffee the next day 😅.) Sleep interrupted by a "progression" = your baby is learning and growing.​​​​​​​​
😴 Sh*t nights happen and they suck! We can think it, we can vent about it, we can cry about it. It's okay to marvel at what our babies are learning while also being exhausted and over it. Two things can be true at once. Focus on what you can control. Focus on how you can get through this rough patch.​​​​​​​​
😴 Remember to tune into how you feel about sleep. If you're anxious, your bubba will pick up on it. One of the conditions for sleep to happen is a calm state. ​​​​​​​​
😴 If it helps you to know about these progressions, cool. If it doesn't, you can ignore them. We don't need to stress ourselves out about the next big barrier to our sleep because it might not happen. Each bubba is different and their unique temperament affects sleep.​​​​​​​​
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✨Keen to know more? Meet me at on June 20th. Can't make it? Sign up to stay in the loop. Link in bio.

❤️❤️❤️

And a reminder that contact naps are absolutely fine. You are not creating bad habits and rods for backs. Enjoy the snuggles mama. 🥰

Read that again. We need to stop obsessing about our kids becoming independent. They become independent through connection. ❤️

Is it normal that my 9-month-old still has all her naps with me? Actually, it is. ​​​​​​​​
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C is 9 months old now. Most of her naps have been contact naps, carrier naps, car seat naps, and the occasional stroller nap. Because she’s the third child, she's had to go with the flow of our life. While in some ways, this has been a lot easier (no need to worry about a “schedule” - she sleeps when and where she can), it is also so difficult for my mama heart to interrupt her naps because we’ve arrived at school for drop off for example. ​​​​​​​​
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Let's talk about why she loves napping on Nick and I. ​​​​​​​​
In the first year, babies attach to their caregivers through their senses. While she’s on us or next to us, C can smell us, hear us and feel us and when she feeds, we bring taste into it too. So, it’s biologically normal for her to want to sleep in proximity of her caregiver. ​​​​​​​​
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(Note, if contact naps don’t work for you–which they might not–you can still support your baby’s sleep in ways that take their development and your needs into account. I always say, if it works for you, you don’t need to change it. Her napping on us works for us most of the time… for now.)​​​​​​​​
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Want to know other biologically normal infant sleep truths? Keep following along. And if you’re a , why don’t you join me on June 20th for my next Sleepy Simbas Sleep Session where I’ll do a deep-dive about biologically normal infant and toddler sleep? Sign up via the link in my bio!

Mums4Mums is such an amazing services with lovely volunteers to help out mums. A great way to create a village and support mothers to look after their mental health. ❤️

World Perinatal Awareness Week serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of advocating for the health and well-being of both mothers and babies during the perinatal period. From raising awareness about maternal mental health to promoting access to quality prenatal care, there's much work to be done. Let's come together as a global community to ensure that every parent receives the support, resources, and respect they deserve. At Mums4Mums, we're committed to being a part of this important conversation and driving positive change for future generations.

www.mums4mums.org.nz

Looking forward to hosting these monthly sessions at The Harvest Health Hub

The big latch on is tomorrow! 🥰

Come down to Pāpāmoa Plaza from 10AM tomorrow for The Big Latch On! We have small competitions for you and your whānau and goodies to share!

So true!

Wouldn’t happen would it.

Dear certain healthcare professionals,

Please stop telling mums to limit babies feeds to x (insert random number here) minutes.

Some breastfeeds feeds will be longer, and some shorter.

Watch the baby, not the clock.

Thank you.

Just in case you were wondering

Love this by Nurturing Touch - No Sleep Training Baby & Child Sleep Consultant ❤️

Repost from

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Meet Vanessa,

A mum of 3, who like many new mums quickly grew frustrated with how her little ones slept. In 2020, after having worked with a Baby-Led Sleep & Well-being Specialist herself, she decided to undergo rigorous training so she could also support parents in getting more sleep without sleep training.

Vanessa has a passion for encouraging parents to trust their instincts when it comes to their children’s sleep and sharing about biologically normal infant and toddler sleep. She works with expecting families as well, helping to set up realistic expectations to hopefully make the newborn sleep days a little bit easier for everyone.

Vanessa will be offering monthly sleep sessions on various topics at the hub and also does 1:1 consults with families.

Workshop timetables coming soon..

To register interest contact Vanessa at:
•[email protected] or
•website www.sleepysimbas.co.nz

It’s me! Stay tuned for dates and times 😊

Meet Vanessa,

A mum of 3, who like many new mums quickly grew frustrated with how her little ones slept. In 2020, after having worked with a Baby-Led Sleep & Well-being Specialist herself, she decided to undergo rigorous training so she could also support parents in getting more sleep without sleep training.

Vanessa has a passion for encouraging parents to trust their instincts when it comes to their children’s sleep and sharing about biologically normal infant and toddler sleep. She works with expecting families as well, helping to set up realistic expectations to hopefully make the newborn sleep days a little bit easier for everyone.

Vanessa will be offering monthly sleep sessions on various topics at the hub and also does 1:1 consults with families.

Workshop timetables coming soon..

To register interest contact Vanessa at:
•[email protected] or
•website www.sleepysimbas.co.nz

As you may know, I love talking about biologically normal infant sleep to new or expecting parents. When I planned to move to NZ, I dreamt of being able to offer regular talks. It’s taken a bit longer than expected, but something is in the works.

Stay-tuned lovely people. And if you want to stay in the loop, make sure you follow me and sign up to my newsletter to get the latest updates.

Such a great post by Kin Postpartum Services

It's
Bedsharing from day 1 with little C and it has absolutely helped me feel more rested and less anxious. It works for us and our family and I am so thankful to have had the information to know how to do it safely. Something I like to share with parents is to set up their room so that it is a safe bedsharing environment because if you're too tired at 2 am, it is safer to bring your baby back in bed with you than to fall asleep on the couch, rocking chair, or a recliner.

I feel a strong need to clarify something today ...
safe bedsharing not only saved my sanity, it possibly saved my baby’s life.
I don’t say that lightly but with the full awareness that up until the point I discovered information on how to reduce the risk of shared sleep I was unintentionally putting my baby at great risk multiple times a night, every night.

He could NOT settle in his cot.
Ever.
Even with our intense persistence with sleep training.
He just couldn’t.
But boy could that babe wake.
Every 45 minutes to an hour.
Every night.
Yep, we investigated it all.
Nope, that’s not your average kind of normal, but that was my baby.
And to tend to that child of mine I was up and needed SO many times a night, every night.
And up until 6 months of age, that involved me getting up to tend to him and doing my utmost to adhere to the safe sleep advice I knew ... keep him in his own sleep space. Do not co-sleep. Co-sleeping is dangerous.

No one told me that falling asleep with him on me in the nursing chair WAS co-sleeping...
I wasn’t trying to sleep with him.
I had every intention of putting him in his cot.
But I physically could not stay awake with him.
I could not.
But I didn’t realise the huge risk attached to my efforts trying desperately not to co-sleep.
For 6 months, my baby slept in dangerous situations regularly.

Was I negligent or careless?
No.
I was a desperately tired first-time mum trying to do everything right and adhere to the rules as I knew them.

No one told me about risk reduction strategies for shared sleep.

You can imagine my horror upon realising the danger I had inadvertently been placing my baby in when I found out about preparing a safer shared sleep surface for bedsharing.
I was so angry at myself.
I took it all on.
But it was only later that I came to realise that my anger was misplaced.
How the hell was I to know any different?
Where was the information?
It simply wasn’t available at the time unless you knew to go digging.

And that is not fair.
Not when research shows that over 75% of families will share a sleep surface with their infant in the first three months.
Thankfully, organisations and bodies such as The Lullaby Trust, the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine and Basis in the UK and the Australian College of Midwives and Australian Breastfeeding Association in Australia have recognised that blanket ‘no co-sleeping’ messaging is deeply flawed and have begun to actively share risk reduction strategies for safer shared sleep.

But it still remains largely taboo.
Any talk of co-sleeping online is often swiftly attacked by those in the anti and it shuts down far too many conversations and sparks fear when education could easily save lives.
The ‘co-sleeping is dangerous’ messaging could have killed my baby.
That’s a fact that still sends shivers down my spine.
But it’s also why I will tirelessly work to ensure that the message gets out there that safer sleep for your baby is about risk reduction for YOUR family. Your baby. Your circumstances.
You.
Not blanket ‘do this, don’t do that’ but access to quality information on what is known and how you can work to reduced risk in your setting.

If you’ve never had the chance to look into how to make shared sleep safer, check these resources out today, because even if you have no intention of ever sharing sleep with your baby, research says that there is a high likelihood that you will, and it would be brilliant if on those occasions you knew how to reduce risks

✨Carly Grubb, 2020
Founder of Little Sparklers, home of The Beyond Sleep Training Project

Precious pic from Safer Shared Sleep photoshoot for Sparklers by the talented Vida Images

Oh how I wish I knew this five years ago when a sleep trainer told me T was waking because I wasn’t eating enough!!!! Bad advice from sleep trainers who are not educated (or choose not to be) about biologically normal infant sleep can create so much unnecessary stress for parents. So my advice to new parents is to check where you’re getting your information from. Is that person educated enough on the subject? Or are they trying to push an agenda? Thanks Lucy Webber Feeding Support - IBCLC for your help great post.

Promise.

(Ps, I said normal, I didn't say easy. Get as much help as you can x)

I loved this when I did it during pregnancy! Tauranga mums, this is great! ❤️

F R E E A Q U A S E S S I O N S F O R Y O U
BACK DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND

When my kids are older and all this is (hopefully) over, when they look back at today, when they will ask me what I was doing to stop the world from burning, to stop innocent children from dying, I want to say I did something.

I want to tell them that I read, I learnt, I wrote letters and signed petitions.
I want to tell them I engaged in conversations with an open mind, that I examined my own beliefs.
I want to tell them I made choices based on what I’ve learnt.
I want to tell them that I went to protests, vigils, and rallies.

I know they might not remember coming with me. But I hope they will know that I fought. I hope they will know I made my voice heard. I hope they will know that I was passionate about my hopes and beliefs for a better present and an even better future.

I want them to know that I did something, that I fought for them. For their world. For their future. And for the future of all children.

📷 Last night, I attended a vigil (with a babbling C) dedicated to the journalists who are documenting the atrocities so that we can be informed, so that we can keep learning. It was organized by
I read a poem titled “The Journalist in Jenin” by Mosab Abu Toha written about Palestinian journalist Shireen Abu Akleh .

Mark your calendars!

The Big Latch On 2024!

Come join us as we aim to have the biggest turn out of māmā and pēpi at this years The Big Latch On event.

More details coming soon, share away and tell your friends to save the date 🤍

Can we focus more on what is biologically normal around our babies’ sleep? I believe it sets parents up for success.

Sleep training doesn’t get to the root of why your baby is waking.

The most common sleep issues parents of babies have are:
💤Frequent waking (every hour or less)
💤Trouble falling asleep
💤 Early waking
💤Waking for an hour or more in the middle of the night
💤Restless sleep
💤Trouble sleeping alone

There is nearly always an underlying factor or factors behind these issues than can range from a serious medical condition to a minor sleep optimization factor. These include:
✨Airway conditions
✨Oral conditions
✨Nutrient deficiency
✨Daytime enrichment
✨Relationships
✨Circadian rhythm input
✨Environmental factors
✨Timing of naps and bedtime

Sleep training will address NONE of these issues.

If you’re experiencing a sleep issue I’d be happy to help! You can book a session with me, take my upcoming sleep workshop or read more in my book.

Sending you all lots of love 💕

"In no other love can a heart heal and break at the same moment." Ooof, I've been feeling this lately.

To Love 🥹♥️