Aroma Marriage Consultants, Jhelum

rmore, marriage is the only valid or halal way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman. Islam takes a middle of the road position to s*xual relations. It neither condemns it like certain religions, nor does it allow it freely. Islam urges us to control and regulate our desires, whatever they may be, so that we remain civilized and equity reigns in society. Marriage also acts as an outlet for physical needs and regulates it as well. The word "Zawj" is used in the Quran to mean a pair or a mate. In general it's usage refers to marriage. The general purpose of marriage is so that men and women can love one another, provide company to each other, procreate and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of God.

* Marriage serves as a means to emotional and physical gratification. It is also a form of worship because it is obeying God and His messenger - i.e. Marriage is seen as the only possible way for the s*xes to unite under God. One could choose to live in sin but by choosing marriage one is displaying obedience to God. Marriage is a "Mithaq" - a solemn covenant or agreement. It should not be taken lightly. It should be entered into with total commitment and full knowledge of what it involves. Your partner should be your choice for life. One should be mature enough to understand the demands of marriage so that the union can be a lasting one. For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met:

1) Consent of both parties.
2) "Mahr" - a gift from the groom to the bride.
3) Witnesses.
4) The marriage should be publicized. (It should never be kept secret as this can lead to suspicion and troubles within the community.) Is Marriage obligatory? According to Imams Abu Hanifah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Malik ibn Anas, marriage is recommended, however for certain individuals it becomes Wajib (obligatory). Imam Shaafi'i considered it to be nafl or mubah (preferable). The general opinion is that if a person, male or female fears that if he/she does not marry they will commit Zina (s*x outside of marriage), then marriage becomes obligatory. If a person has strong s*xual urges then it becomes obligatory for that person to marry. Marriage should not be put off or delayed, especially if one has the means to do so. A man, however should not marry if he does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family, if he will not consummate the marriage, if he dislikes children, or if he feels marriage will seriously affect his religious obligation. The general rule is that the Prophet (pbuh) enjoined people to marry. He said "When one marries, they have fulfilled half of their religion , so let them fear God regarding the remaining half." This Hadith is narrated by Anas ibn Malik. Islam greatly encourages marriage because it shields one from wrongful actions and upholds the family unit. Selection of a partner:

The choice of a partner should be the one with the most "Taqwa" (piety). The Prophet recommended suitors see each other before going through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing of each other. The couple is permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a desireful one. This ruling does not contradict the Ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.

- The couple, however is not permitted to be alone in a closed room or to go out together alone. As the hadith says "When a man and a woman are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.

- There is no dating or living in defacto relationships with each other before they commit to each other seriously. There is to be no physical relationship before marriage. The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rates to understand this point. the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. "Romance" often dies out very quickly when we have to deal with the real world. Unrealistic expectations often contributes to problems within relationships. It is better to focus on compatability of the couple and critical evaluation than solely physical attraction. Consent of parties. There is a halal arranged marriage and a haram one. It is OK to arrange marriages by suggestion and recommendation as long as both parties are agreeable. The other arranged marriage is when parents choose the future spouse and the couple concerned are forced or have no choice in the matter. One of the conditions of a valid marriage is consent of the couple. Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people. The choice of a partner by a Muslim virgin girl is subject to the approval of the father or guardian under Maliki school. This is to safeguard her welfare and interests. The Prophet said "The Widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until she has consented and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained. The Prophet did revoke the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had married her against her wishes. The husband/wife relationship. The wife's rights - the husband's obligations. (1) Maintenance

The husband is responsible for the wife's maintenance. This right is established by authority of the Quran and Sunnah. It is inconsequential whether the wife is a Muslim , non-Muslim, rich, poor, healthy or sick. A component of his role is to bear the financial responsibility of the family in a generous way so that his wife may be assured security. The wife's maintenance entails her right to lodging, clothing, food and general care, like medication, hospital bills etc. He must provide for her where he resides himself according to his means. The wife's lodging must be adequate so as to ensure her privacy, comfort and independence. If a wife has been used to a maid or is unable to attend to her household duties, it is the husbands duty to provide her with a maid if he can afford to do so. The Prophet is reported to have said: "The best Muslim is one who is the best husband." (2) "Mahr"

The wife is entitled to a marriage gift that is her own. This may be prompt or deferred depending on the agreement between the parties. A marriage is not valid without Mahr. It does not have to be money or gold. It can be non-material like teaching her to read the Quran. " Mahr" is a gift from the groom to the bride. This is the Islamic law, unlike some cultures whereby the bride's parents pay the future husband to marry the daughter. This practice degrades women and is contrary to the spirit of Islam. There is no specification in the Qur'an as to what or how much the Mahr has to be. It depends on the parties involved. (3) Non-material rights. A husband is commanded by the law of God to treat his wife with equity, respect her feelings and show kindness and consideration, especially if he has another wife. The Prophet's Last Sermon stresses kindness to women...!!!