IGUGU institute

Believe in yourself, and you can do it !

Learning is a never ending process.

Never give up.

To live an abundant life means : 1.You need to change your mindset towards life.
2.Be grateful for the things you already have, this includes your strengths,skillset and your unique qualities.

Living life with abundance does not mean having a lot of material possessions, but plenty of opportunities and loads of ideas to be successful.

"Live an abundant life"

Abundance means plenty or a very large quantity of something or overflowing fullness.

Words are powerful.They are the key to our success or failure.We become our words.Do you use language to improve your life?

You are created to be great.Write down all the positive things you BELIEVE about yourself and add more information every day.

Embrace the power of being present with yourself.What is important to you and your world?

Only you, can make a difference in your life.

You are unique.You uniqueness is the greatest gift to world!!
Happy women's day

Any question you ask yourself,your mind must give you the answer.So,ask your mind the relevant questions.

Clarity is power.People who succeed in life,tend to know what they want.

All you need is within you to become better version of yourself.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY
Before you can create emotional stability in a relationship, it’s vital to recognize instability. By identifying and acknowledging these issues, you will be able to change them.
1 – WATCH FOR ANGRY OR ENTITLED STATEMENTS
If they get angry or upset about small things.
2 – THEY DON’T SHOW UP TO THINGS THEY SAY THEY WILL DO
If someone can’t keep their commitments, or they won’t show up to pre-planned events that they said they would.
3 – THEIR FAMILY IS DRAMATIC
They may have mental instability issues which stems from not having loving or reliable caregivers, or they may just have had parents who overreact.
4 – THEY SHOW NO EMPATHY
They don’t respond in a supportive way rather they change the subject or ignoring it.
5 – THEY TRY TO MAKE THEMSELVES SOUND BETTER THAN YOU
When you tell them about your goal, and they respond with their plan that seems more significant.
6 – THEY DON’T PAY FOR THINGS THAT THEY OWE
If they won’t pay for things they owe unless they are continually reminded, it’s a sign that they are unstable. This signifies that they feel entitled.
7 – THEY WON’T ADMIT WHEN THEY ARE WRONG
A person who can’t admit when they were in the wrong, or may lie or make excuses, is someone that is emotionally unstable.
8 – THEY RUN FROM THEIR PROBLEMS
If they run away from problems, you can expect that in your relationship, as well.
9 – THEY’RE TOO INTENSE
If they rush into things or disclose too much information too soon, they might be too intense.

Remember: It takes both partners to make a relationship emotionally stable. While your relationship may not be perfect, you can always work to create stability.

Interested to learn more, please contact us.

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Emotional Stability makes relationships go smoother, and you will always know where you stand with one another.

What creates emotional stability in a relationship?
 Emotional stability is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
 It involves communication, respect, trust, and many other factors.
 Without emotional stability in a relationship, you can expect to drift away from one another.
 To keep your relationship healthy, you must figure out a way to reach emotional stability.
 Some of the things that create emotional stability in relationships are simple and but important.
 There are different ways to make stability in the connection.

1. PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR PARTNER.
2. DEVELOP TRUST.
3. BE AVAILABLE.
4. SHOW AFFECTION.
5. WHEN YOU FIGHT, BE FAIR.
6. TRY TO SEE THEIR PERSPECTIVE.
7. OVERCOME THE PROBLEMS.

 With these tips, you will be well on your way to a relationship with emotional stability.

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Easy practices that will help you be Emotionally Stable

1. Change your perspective. Perspective is everything.
2.Know you're in control. Your emotions do not have to be the master of your life.
3.Stay grounded.
4.Learn to listen to your emotions.
5.Be positive.
6.Breathe.
7.Take care of yourself.
8.Get quality sleep.
9. Exercise.
10. Eat healthily.
11. Practice self-care.
12. Create structure.
13. Practice mindfulness.
14. Meditate.

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Emotional stability
*Emotional stability refers to a person's ability to remain stable and balanced.
*Emotional stability provides individuals with the ability to take problems they face in a calm way. This allows them to continue on to reach their goals.
* You are able to embrace changes and use challenges as opportunities to learn and grow as a person.
*Emotionally stable people have the strength and willingness to accept uncertainty for what it is.
*Practice accepting uncertainty in small ways and you'll be able to handle it confidently when it arrives in big ways.
*With emotional stability in your relationship, things will flow better, and you will both handle things better.
*There will be more happiness and more time for doing fun things together.
*If your relationship is stable, your bond will be healthier, too.

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Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence
 Do you know someone who never seems to be able to control their emotions? Perhaps they are constantly doing or saying the wrong things, at the wrong time. Or maybe they're always judging others, but have a hard time accepting criticism. Chances are high that this person struggles with low emotional intelligence.

 What is low emotional intelligence?
 Low emotional intelligence refers to the inability to accurately perceive emotions (in both yourself and others) and to use that information to guide your thinking and actions.
 Having low emotional intelligence can negatively impact not only your interpersonal relationships but also your mental and physical health.
 When someone has low emotional intelligence, there are many ways it can present itself. Below are the signs of people with low emotional intelligence.
1. They are aggressive.
2. They always have to be 'Right'.
3. They are hard to please.
4. They're oblivious to other people's feelings.
5. They behave insensitively.
6. They blame others for their problems.
7. They have poor coping skills.
8. They have emotional outbursts.
9. They struggle with relationships.
10. They turn conversations towards themselves.

 With NLP tools and techniques you can increase your emotional intelligence. We can help you sharpen your skills to improve your personal and professional relationships. Contact us.
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Core skills of Emotional Intelligence

To understand your emotional skills better, you should familiarise yourself with the following basic components of emotional intelligence:
1. Self–management – the ability to manage your emotions in healthy ways, control impulsive feelings and behaviours, take initiative, follow through on commitments and adapt to changing circumstances.
2. Self- awareness – the ability to know one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, goals and have self-confidence.
3. Social awareness – considering other people’s feelings especially when making decisions. Have empathy.
4. Relationship management – allow you to connect with other people on a level that is important in life so you can have more in-depth relationships with others.

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The importance of Emotional Intelligence
 Emotional intelligence can help you manage your emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
 Emotional intelligence can help you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and at work, achieve your career and personal goals.
 Emotional intelligence can also help you connect with your feelings, turn intention into action and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.

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Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence/emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability to perceive, understand, use and manage your own emotions.

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Tip # 10 - Realise that the only person you can change in the world is you

*So the final NLP tip, is before you go and try to change anyone else ask “how can I be the change I wish to see here?” and if you find yourself in conflict or difficult situations ask “how am I showing up in a way that is facilitating what I am getting?”

*You are, after all, the only person you are capable of changing.
*That doesn’t mean you don’t have influence, you do, but the greatest influence you have is in leading by example.

*I hope THESE TIPS prove valuable insight into the heart of the relationship and will help you in maintaining your relationships.

Don’t forget to be awesome.

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Tip # 9- Nothing kills relationships faster than mind-reading

 Every time you assume you know the intentions behind a person’s behaviour and they haven’t told you, you are mind-reading.
 Mind reading is the fastest way to kill relationships and 9/10 times you will get it wrong.
For example
* You’re using that tone of voice because you blame me.
* You didn’t invite me to that gathering because I am obviously not important to you.
These are simple examples of how easy it is, to assume negative intentions for behaviours we don’t like receiving.

 The problem with that, just like in the examples is, we don’t treat people based on what their true intentions actually are (which are often never as bad as we think they are), we treat them based on what we mind-read them to be.
 Next time you receive a behaviour that you don’t particularly like, before assuming check-in and ask “What was your intention with this? This is how I interpreted it, is that what it meant to you?”

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Your Interactions with Others

Tip # 8 - Don’t worry about what others may say about you, they aren’t really talking about you

 For you to judge someone you need criteria through which to judge them, those criteria are based on your values, your standards and your beliefs about what is important and what isn’t.
 Those values, standards and beliefs probably have either come directly or have been influenced heavily by your upbringing.
 Notice all of that criteria through which you need in order to judge revolves around you and has nothing to do with anyone else?
 When you are judging another, you aren’t actually judging them so much as you are judging you in their shoes.
 Likewise, when someone else is making a judgment about you, they aren’t really talking about you because their criteria have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
 So, relax around what people think, say or judge about you.
 They aren’t really talking about ‘you’ they are talking about themselves.
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Tip # 7 - Be responsible for yourself, and allow others to be responsible for themselves

 You can only be responsible for what you can control, and the number of things you control is surprisingly small. You control:
* Your thinking
* Your feeling
* Your behaving
* Your speaking
 In NLP these are referred to as your four powers, and that’s it.
 You literally do not control anything else.
 You don’t control anyone else’s thinking, anyone else’s feeling, anyone else’s behaving, or speaking - much as you might like to, which mean you cannot be responsible for them.
 Any time you step outside of your four powers and try to be responsible for someone else, you are inviting stress into your life.
So, be responsible for yourself. You may be responsible to others externally e.g. duty of care, societal laws etc.
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People are not their behaviours.
• We are not defined by our behaviour.
• Explore the behaviour, not the person. Separate behaviour from the person. People are not their behaviour. Accept the person, work on the behaviour. Do not confuse a person’s behaviour with a person’s skills or identity.
• There is a distinction between self, intention and behaviour. We often get these mixed up. Take the time to separate these, especially in difficult situations with other people.
• Consider how you would want others to view you. How many times have you done something and thought later ‘I don’t know what came over me? It just wasn’t me’?
• Instead of saying “you are stupid”, one can rephrase that by saying, what you have done is
something stupid. What a huge difference it makes. It gives a completely different meaning. You do not want to influence the person but influence the change in the behaviour. Focus on the event, issue or situation or behaviour, not the person.
• We can accept a person even when we may not accept some of his or her specific behaviour.
• Behaviours are actions. We can do them or we can stop them. It is a choice, there’s always the possibility that we can change our choices, our decisions, and our behaviours.
• Do not label people based on their behaviour. It is not helpful in developing good relationships. Behaviour changes all the time as we learn and grow. Bad, unproductive and ‘stuck’ relationships can be turned around when we take responsibility and learn to be proactive.

• No one deserves to be judged by the worst thing they’ve done. Similarly, we don’t judge people exclusively with the best things they’ve done, because people are much more than their behaviour.
• As human beings, we are more than the sum of our parts, we are magnificent beings. We should celebrate our existence with joy.
are not their behaviours the people and influence their behaviour

Everyone does the best they can with the resources available to them
• In NLP, it is often said that every behaviour has a positive intention.
• A lot of human behaviour is needs-based behaviour. We do it to satisfy our needs.
• Recognising that we are doing the best we can with the resources we have available to us at a certain time, opens up the potential for forgiveness or at least compassion and understanding.
• With the resources we have available to us, we can have different opportunities and can make new choices.
• The actions we take, the behaviour we’re exhibiting are all based on the resources that we have available to us.
• Developing excellent relationships is often about understanding why people behave the way they do, not from our perspective, but from theirs, and helping them to find a more productive behaviour by giving them new resources.
• Everyone is doing the best they can, given what they have. Often, the best thing you can do for someone is to give them new tools to solve their problems.
• Providing them with the ability to solve their problems will strengthen your relationship.