Jasmark ke

Jonah akinarrate story ya kumezwa na samaki, mbogi walikuwa wanaona kaa story za jaba,,,
Alf hata huskii alimezwa na OMENA...

Newcastle kichwa Hawa Chelsea hawaendi mahali???

Approach made
paperwork signed,
Waiting for official announcement...
Stay tuned,,, landing to a new deal.

imefika

Mitaro yote iwekwe streetlights wananchi wamechoka kuzama.
Maskani proverb.😂

Nipe chaki mwalimu,
Maandishi niyaandike,
Ndugu niwashukuru,
Mwalimu naomba

Kalamu nyeupe,
Ya amani,
Niandike wema,
Mwalimu naomba

Niwape onyo ,
Hawa mahayawani,
Niwakubushe sheria,
Mwalimu nipe kalamu

Nenda salama,
Mukami Kimathi bibiye dedan Kimathi.

Nina swali?
Mwanamke mjamzito alikuwa na kiu,akaenda kwa fridge na kuifungua Kisha akachukua,soda ya fanta na juice.
Swali ni je,wathani alifungua Nini ya Kwanza????
ke

Umetulia tu pale kwa VCT waiting for results kidogo kidogo unaskia madaktari huko ndani wakisema ( Na bado ni mtoto mdogo)🙄🙄

Good Evening 🤣🤣😁😁😁

Dear Tottenham chenye mnapigana nacho hamkijui lakini kitawaramba narudia kitawaramba😂😂😂😂.
Fellow Kenyans wekeleeni pesa ya rent,,, school fee kwa United then thank mh later



ke

Ama man City walitoa Chelsea kafara wee**!!!!!

Will be addressing the nation shortly Tomorrow morning.
ARSENAL timu ya baba na mama😂😂😂
********

Jesus!!!!
Amkeni REAL wamepigwa mabao manne na mchezaji mmoja😳😳😳
TATY CASTELLANOS wa GIRONA.
😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ama kweli wambea ni Billy na mwalimu.
Kali sana,,,,💥💥💥.
Kupitia wao nimejua sanitizer amekuwa sanitized....

Fellow Kenyans
iko on fire.
REDIO ni 47.
alongside dj Ian.
Ama kweli happy ndipo.

We fight for another day....
Maguire man of the match.
Ama kweli Maguire Hana nyota😂😂😂😂

Dear Nottingham forest,thank you for listening to my advice.now you are in safe hands....
Tulisema league ni ya man city mkaona kaa jokes....

Ama kweli Manchester United ni RED DEVILS.
Ona Sasa Newcastle baada ya kuwapiga vile inafanywa...
Dear forest K**a mnataka uzuri kubalini kupigwa na mashetani wekundu....

arocho

Mapenzi ni K**a Embe bichi K**a lako chachu wengine walila na chumvi na masala.

Kumbuka:
Siri ya kinu uliza mtwangio.
It's TBT Kali sana.
jasmark

Kumbuka;
Siku zote dereva mwenye ujuzi halalamikii barabara yenye mtaro..!!!

-ke
iposiku

follow my page
🙏💥🤣

Raila Odinga declares 20th of April (monday).As a public holiday.

Jasmark ke

An old man wrote a will to his two sons, after my death demolish this house you will find a metal case down the foundation where you will find my savings to support the rest of your life. They started praying to God! Oh lord father our Dad is too old, please take him to your kingdom. Two years later he died and buried immediately. The following day the house was demolished, they found a case with piece of paper written! if you are real men construct your own House


Jasmark ke

"Eti mtoto wangu wa kwanza nitamuita SABAstian."
"Eti naishi mailiSABA"
"Eti leo ni tarehe SABA"
"Eti heshima za CR7."
Langu jicho🤣

Joke of the day

A beer company was hiring a taster, Someone to taste the beers before they are taken for selling. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, my father walked into the manager's office asking to be employed.

The manager tried to figure out how he could drive him away but couldn't come up with an idea, so he decided to give him a trial. He ordered his secretary to give him a glass of wine 🍷

He took a sip and said, "It's Red wine, Varietal, three years old, grown on rift valley, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct!" The manager exclaimed, "Well give him another one let's see." So he was given.

He took a sip again and said, "It's Guinness, a combination of barley, roast malt extract, and brewers yeast brewed around Thika road in Nairobi, Kenya 2 years ago"

"Incredible!" said the manager.

Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, "Go get some of your urine in a cup let's see if he will get that."

So my father was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said, "Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I'm not given this job, Sir I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy"

both the manager and the secretary fainted 😁😳

My father got the job✌
Copied.
-jicho

That is not my problem now, my problem is that I am still thinking on what happened to me last Saturday. I was invited to a wedding when i reached the hotel, i found two doors written,

1.bride relatives
2.groom relatives

I entered the one with groom relatives and found two more doors,

1.ladies
2.gentlemen

I went through the one with gentlemen, only to find two more doors,

1.people with gifts
2.people without gifts
I went through the one written people without gifts..🤔and found myself outside the hotel through the backdoor.
JJasmark kekJasmark ke

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When we were in boarding school, I used to sit near the window facing the kitchen. One day I saw one chef put some salt in a pot of beans. Later on another came with salt again and he wanted to add to the same pot. I forgot that I was in class and I shouted, “ Imewekwa usiongeze “

Discuss:
Baby chameleon is called hatching.

Lesson:
Chameleon.
-baby chameleon is called hatching.
-only reptile that lays eggs.
-die coz of stress and captivity.
-stress brought about by,nutrition,environment.
--After two days baby chameleon changes to chameleon.
-calour changes of a chameleon acts as security,,,
- there are over 100 spices of chameleon in the world.
Quiz
1.how old were you when you knew that hatching is baby chameleon?
2.if stress can kill creatures which can't talk,why do human being die and they can solve stress?
3.from child to adult of a chameleon is just 2days do you think this is true?
4.which nutrition is best for chameleon?

Jasmark ke

Rashford is stronger than the whole Chelsea FC in 2023 he has more goals than Chelsea but they have something in common
Rashford 10
Chelsea 10.
Surely,,,

Discuss:
Beards in men signifies intelligence.
(20mks)

Juventus confirm in official statement they will appeal the sanctions imposed with -15 points 🚨⚪️⚫️

"Company awaiting the publication of the reasons and announces as of now the appeal to the Sports Guarantee College in terms of the Sports Justice Code”.
JJasmark keke
MMwenda JasmarkJMwenda Jasmark

"I was reading a magazine today and I learnt a lot about the dangers of drinking alcohol. It leads to so many health complications and I have made a new resolution for 2023. I have decided to STOP reading such magazines."~mlevi hatari.
A small story👇👇
JaJasmark kee
MwMwenda Jasmarkasmark
GlGlory Mithikaithika
Kumbuka kufollow my page

Memphis depay to ATM karibu mkuu
Wakuu nataka kuwa Fabrizio wenu.

It is with great pleasure that I am here to celebrate
another year of my life. I am grateful for surviving all the
challenges throughout the last 365 days and turning a year
older.
Jasmark ke
Maula Junior
Chili Boy
Mwenda Jasmark
Glory Mithika