Jesse’s Squad

Every day I miss you.
Every day it hurts.
But some days are even harder.
Your absence stings a little worse.

I want so bad to talk to you.
But you do not respond.
I bet you are busy fishing
In one of heaven’s great big ponds.

I hope you catch a good one.
And share it with your friends.
I’ll have to see you in my dreams
Until we meet again.

Jesse Martinez 🐟 ❤️

Missing Jesse’s humor. He was always making people laugh. 💜

Revisiting these moments makes me so grateful for the BIG miracle of Jesse waking up from the coma without brain damage and without the need for in-patient rehab!!! God gave us 2 more years together!!! 🙏🏼💜

Update: Thursday, November 5 (a.m.)

The liver specialist did a scope to try to locate the bleed in Jesse’s GI tract. They didn’t find it but did find 2 other problems which are bad. He has Esophageal varices, which are tiny bleeds in the esophagus. He also has
Portal hypertensive gastropathy which is causing fluid buildup in the stomach. Both of these are further proof that he doesn’t have sufficient liver function or big enough liver. But neither of these issues are what’s causing the blood in his stool. They will do a colonoscopy to try to find the source of the bleed.

The fluid buildup in his stomach and portal vein was visible on the last MRI he had in early October when they were trying to find the source of the nightly fevers he was getting. Unfortunately, the oncology center didn’t recognize it as a sign of the liver function declining. He also had problems with stomach bloating after eating and everyone dismissed it when he brought it up. They assumed it was just a side effect of the chemo. All of these things were the early signs, meaning this wasn’t a sudden onset with the seizures. It had been building up until it reached that severe toxic level that caused the seizures and brain damage. 😒

The GI doc wanted to transport Jesse to UAMS to await a transplant, but they won’t even take him without a functioning brain. So it’s not enough that he opens his eyes. He has to follow commands like give a thumbs up and things that prove he has cognitive function.

I asked if there’s anything they can do to help support his liver while we wait for the brain issue to resolve and he said no.

So then I asked how long can he survive while he is waiting and he said he’s not in complete failure yet so we still have time and that he’s not in eminent danger of complete liver failure yet.

He said that his liver is actually functioning well but just not enough. He said you or I could lose 80% of our liver functioning and still be okay. But when you only have 20% to begin with you can’t even tolerate a 1% decrease in function.

Our prayers now are that his brain will heal faster than his liver fails!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Keep the prayers coming! We remain hopeful!






*Family pic from several years ago.*

Remembering Jesse. 💚💚💚
He sure loved his little buddy, Gunny.
Praying for all who are still battling cancer. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

I’ve started a new site to share personal stories, journals, devotionals, etc. Some will be related to grief. 💜

can you handle it? — evangelista life This post will be one of several investigating common sayings regarding grief. These ideas have been repeated multiple times throughout my grief journey after my husband Jesse died in December 2022. Before losing Jesse, I even shared some of these statements with others to help them through loss. Bo

This was taken during our last family vacation in May 2021. Jesse had received approval from his oncologist and other docs to travel. They worked hard to get his platelets high enough and schedule his chemo in a way that would give him the best possible chance to feel as good as possible while he was away. Thankfully, all the effort paid off and he was able to have such a relaxing time in Panama City Beach. It was a much needed break from doctor’s appointments, lab draws, chemo, hospital stays, etc. For the most part, Jesse was able to escape the constant thoughts of cancer.

It’s hard to remember, even the good moments, without feeling the sting of his absence here and now. I’m told these memories will be easier to smile at and enjoy as time goes on. Today, they just make me sad that there will be no new memories made. I love you, Babe!
Until eternity. 💕

Awww. He was always determined to contact me, no matter what the obstacle. 💜💜💜

Best news of the day/night!! Jesse is AWAKE! He was able to use one thumb to text me!!! That was THE BEST SURPRISE!!!!

What a day this was. Looking back, I can’t help but be grateful for him surviving as long as he did. Yet, it still hurts so bad that he’s gone now.

Hug your loved ones tight. 💜

In memory of our hero, Jesse, would you consider making a donation to the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation?

Funds raised go to further research and patient resources specifically for the rare cancer Jesse battled so bravely. The research helps develop much needed targeted drugs for this agressive cancer.

Thank you for your consideration! Jesse would be honored and proud to know that you are helping continue the fight he is no longer here to wage himself. 💚💚💚

Campaign for the Cure #C4C23 Campaign for the Cure – C4C23 Donate Now Campaign for the Cure (C4C) is the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation’s longest-running annual campaign, designed to raise critical funds to support the Foundation’s mission–especially our efforts to advance cholangiocarcinoma (CCA) research. Our research ...

Remembering…because every day we had with Jesse Martinez post diagnosis day was a miracle and blessing.

Jesse was diagnosed March 10, 2020. He sadly didn’t make it to the 3 year mark. However, that is VERY typical for this aggressive cancer, even considered a long time to survive post diagnosis. This is why awareness, research, and treatment options specifically for cholangiocarcinoma are needed.

One year post diagnosis, the oncologist told us we could consider Jesse cancer-free. Less than 2 weeks later, we found out the cancer had returned and metastasized so that he was no longer curable. The only hope treatment would bring was possibly more time. He ended up with 21 more months, but it took a LOT of answered prayers, advocating, and determination to survive that long. Don’t EVER let doctors decide your fate! You must educate yourself and advocate for your care or you could slip through the cracks. This is especially true for rare cancers that most oncologists have never treated before!

Today, we remember Chief, our hero and friend. He is gone too soon, but we were all so blessed to have known him. We now have the opportunity to continue his legacy of service and commitment to others. Let’s pay it forward on his behalf today and every day.

Until heaven, my love. 💚💚💚

Today is the inaugural 301 day to honor our hero, Jesse. We will forever remember his legacy of service, and will strive to follow his example. His love for God, family, country, and community was apparent to all he encountered. He will be forever missed.

Today marks the first Jesse Martinez Day (301) March 1st in Little Flock. How do you describe a man that was a hero to some and a friend to all? I do not believe there are enough words to describe Chief Jesse Martinez, he took pride in everything he did, loved serving the citizens of Little Flock, loved his officers, loved his career, and most importantly loved his family harder than any I know. This day means different things to different people, but for the City of Little Flock it means we get to honor a true hero, a warrior who fought not only his officers, the citizens, but fought for his family and showed all who knew him how much he loved them and showed us how to love ourselves. His love for his family was inspiring, and he will be missed by all who knew him. He will always be remembered as one of a kind because he was God fearing. He was a godly man who lived his life in service to others. He inspired us all with his love for life and those around him. His memory will live on forever in our hearts. He will forever be remembered as one of a kind—someone who truly stood out from everyone else because of his bravery and courage under fire. He lived by the motto that "family comes first," and his life showed us all just how true it can be when you put your family first. Chief Jesse Martinez Day is just one way we can honor his memory. Chief Martinez was more than a Chief, more than an Officer, he is someone everyone should strive to be but there is and will always be only one Chief Jesse Martinez (301).

Find out risk factors of developing Cholangiocarcinoma (aka bile duct cancer).
Spread awareness. Support research. Honor warriors.

Causes. Causes.Most cases of cholangiocarcinoma happen without any known cause – this is known as sporadic cholangiocarcinoma. However, some factors that cause long-...

February is Cholangiocarcinoma Awareness Month.

Help spread the word about possible symptoms. Jesse’s initial symptom was itching that was driving him crazy, plus food tasted funny, and he was losing weight. Jaundice, dark urine, and pale stools followed later. The itching is what took him to the ER.

I am humbled and extremely grateful for the continued outpouring of support everyone has shown to our family. We could never repay your generosity, but please trust we will pay it forward any chance we get. Thank you for making the most difficult time of our lives a little less stressful. These funds will be used to pay towards Jesse’s outstanding medical bills. This is a HUGE help to us. We love you and pray you are each blessed beyond measure for your kindness. Thank you just doesn’t suffice.

Let’s get ready to LIGHT IT GREEN!! Spread the word to businesses, cities, etc. 💚💚💚 We will light it green in memory of Jesse, and to bring awareness to Cholangiocarcinoma.

Fill our winter nights with hope and LIGHT IT GREEN! 💡💚

February of 2023 begins the 3rd Annual Light it Green for CCA campaign that includes buildings, homes,hospitals, towers, and bridges lit up green to represent the commitment to support patients and their families and make cholangiocarcinoma a treatable disease
https://cholangiocarcinoma.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/2023-CCA-Month-Toolkit.pdf

Update: Tuesday, 12/20/22

Sitting here tonight, feeling emotionally drained and a little unsure of what to do next. I thought this would be a great time to send out the biggest THANK YOU to everyone who has come beside our family to hold us up, to offer a shoulder to cry on, to aid in honoring Jesse, to pray for comfort as we mourn, to celebrate Jesse’s life with us, to share stories of Jesse, to donate funds for his final expenses and outstanding medical bills, to send condolences and flowers, and to continue his legacy of service.

I am overwhelmed by the way people have stepped up to help us navigate the worst time of our lives. We couldn’t have made it through today without your assistance.

City of Little Flock Police and Chief Hollis have been with us since the night Jesse passed, offering escorts for every single move. They ensured that Jesse’s service to the LFPD was commemorated with honor and respect. On a personal front, Chief Hollis and his daughter have walked with us on this journey and will always have a place in our family. Jesse would be so proud of you.

Arkansas Association of Chiefs of Police met us at the funeral home to ensure Jesse received full honors, and to walk us through what that entailed. They provided, along with the Benton County Honor Guard, the presentation of the flag, flanked Jesse by 2 guards at all times during public viewings, served as pallbearers, handled the gun salute and taps, and ensured that Jesse was respected and honored for his service.

Epting Funeral Home of Bentonville compassionately and professionally walked us through the arrangements, took excellent care of every single detail, and ensured that Jesse was treated with honor and reverence.

Newsong Church Centerton, AR , Pastor CJ & Jen, Ken & Shelly, Jason & Nessie, Wendy, and others held us up in every aspect of life- from helping with housekeeping, hosting and serving our family meal, sending encouragement cards, praying with us, crying with us, making middle of the night visits, and providing support throughout the service. We love you and thank God for directing us to Newsong.

Little Flock Primitive Baptist Church and Pastor Carl Staten for honoring the LFPD over the years with meals, and for Pastor Carl sharing some of his stories of time spent with Jesse over the years. Jesse valued your friendship more than you know.

The Dutch Oven on Wheels for hosting a fundraiser for Jesse, offering such kindness In what ended up being the final night before Jesse left us. You will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Highfill Police Department for providing drone coverage of the Parade of Lights and the Procession passing Jesse by the LFPD for the last time. The videos are a very touching commemoration of these events to honor Jesse.

Got Your 6ix Project Inc. for raising funds and planning a pancake breakfast for Jesse’s expenses. Your support of not only us, but all of the first responder families is honorable and much appreciated! We love you all!

To all the police departments, fire departments, mayors, councilmen, judges, chaplains, dispatchers, clerks, and other personnel that joined in honoring Jesse, we thank each of you. Jesse would be humbled by your kindness.

Special thanks to Benton County Sunshine School and Children's Advocacy Center of Benton County for recognizing Jesse with us. He loved both of your organizations and always enjoyed assisting and visiting the kids you serve.

There are many other friends, both old and new, who showed up for us. We thank you and willl fondly remember you helping us celebrate Jesse’s life. If I have neglected to mention someone, please forgive me. We have received such an outpouring of support throughout this journey that I am certain I have left off someone by mistake.

My heart is heavy with grief, but it is also full of gratitude for each person who has followed Jesse’s journey. It’s not over. His legacy will live on. God bless you all.

- Sarah Martinez and family

Here’s the link to the video of the funeral today. Jesse was honored and loved by many. He will be missed by many more.

Jesus "Jesse" Martinez Jr. Funeral This is "Jesus "Jesse" Martinez Jr. Funeral" by First Baptist Rogers on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.