Oliver Rose

Breath
“It’s not that I can’t breathe.
It’s that breathing feels like cotton balls
Stuffed down my throat
Filling my lungs
With itching uncertainty
My chest stretches out
Becoming the worn pillow
My anxiety can rest it’s head on

Each exhale
Clamors it’s way out of my mouth
The shake in my bones
A weary staircase ready to collapse
Falling apart
From my own ragged breath.”
- Oliver Rose

Soft
“Winter has always been so soft to me
Each flake that falls
Lands
Silently adding all of its weight
To the blanket
Laid gently on the ground

Even when the cold is sharp
It’s silence
Rolls over
Frosty cheeks
Rounding its edges in
Comfort

We watch the snow
Build for months
To melt away in spring
Leaving
As softly as it lands”
- Oliver Rose
***rwriter

Falling
“I‘d fallen in love
So often
I thought I knew what it meant
To love myself
But
Until the day I started
Counting
Chest hairs
And
Stopping to stare
At myself
In the reflection of the mirror in the hallway
I didn’t really know what it meant
To love
Me”
- Oliver Rose
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Scars
“I used to be so ashamed
Of the shiny bumps
Hidden around my body
Letters like moonlight
Sunk into my skin
Soft
Cold
My love for them has
Waxed and Waned
With the tides of my love
For myself.
Now I have scars
That beam from my chest
To light the road
On the way back to myself”
- Oliver Rose
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Distance
“If I could close the distance,
Collapse the map
Every inch is a mile.
Every mile is a minute...or ten.
Time lapses in painful waves
Because everything feels dead
So far away from you.”
- Oliver Rose

Apologies for the long hiatus! I’ve been moving, job hunting, recovering from surgery and coping with the holidays! More poems to be posted soon, and make sure you check out for their event tonight!! I’m so excited to be able to have one of my poems featured live.

Huge huge thank you to for hosting their “This Is Your Shot” competition!

If you haven’t seen it, check out my poem and video accompaniment at my page .rising
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Losing Control
“Alone in my room,
Back against the wall,
Head down.
Closed eyes.
Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.
Broken pieces of mind drifting in and out my window.
As thoughts bubble up and out of my ears,
like an acid.
Corroding my skull.
Falling like tears from my eyes,
and burning ravines in my cheeks.
Dropping down onto the paper onto the floor.
Drawing the pictures of a life I was supposed to know.
A life I was supposed to live.
To be living.
I sucked in with all my might to inhale,
the memories on the paper made with thought,
Acid.
As I inhaled the pictures rose like smoke and billowed deep into my mind.
And the Acid burned.
And the Smoke Memories scratched.
And I flicked the tears from their ravines and ran to the mirror on my wall to see myself when all of a sudden.
I was not there.”
- Oliver Rose

So sorry for the delay in poetry/photos! I’ve recently moved and had top surgery, so was very focused on getting my personal life in order.

I’m hoping to continue posting at least a few times a week! Keep an eye out for new posts and personal books are still available for sale DM me with any questions 😘
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Freezing Dreams
“And its cold outside isn’t it?
But not as cold as I feel.
While the blood rushes to my skin
And I bite my lip
Forcing the pools of water growing in my eyes to dry
And my knuckles turn white when I squeeze my hand into a fist.
Fighting to believe the unseen the untouched.�Untouchable.
Because when I wake up
I will still just be alone.
And cold
My lonely shaking soul.”
- Oliver Rose

Immortal
“Poetry is not written by the mind
It is written by someone’s soul
It is not held in place or fixed by ink or pixels,
Because these words are always changing.
The poet holds onto them,
Shifting them.
A poet who writes about a secret lover
Looks back and sees lust.
A poet who writes of life
Returns to see death.
But if a poet falls in love with you
And you with them
You are immortal.
And the poems may shift,
They may twist in the heart of the writer.
But when you are the muse to someone’s sonnets.
If you are the reason they write of love.
You have a piece of them
Heart and soul.”
- Oliver Rose

Soreness is nothing compared to gratitude.

I feel like I’ve seen a lot of people getting top surgery and of course we all envision ourselves there 2, 3, 4 weeks post op. We don’t think about the first few days of intense pain, personally I was dealing with a lot of nausea and was even vomiting after surgery. This isn’t to make you feel hesitant, but definitely to try and keep things realistic. It’s not painless, and not easy, but every time I walk past a mirror I am overwhelmed with gratitude. It outweighs any pain, any nausea, any fears. I am endlessly thankful for my body, my support system, and my determination to do what’s best for me despite undertaking an intense procedure and going against what some people would’ve wanted for me.

This is by far the scariest thing I’ve ever done for myself, and I am so proud that I’m standing here now, happier than I’ve ever felt.

CW, bloody stuff and post op scarring

I couldn’t have dreamt of better results. I’m so enthralled with my chest. Even in pain and in a binder it’s truly like I can breathe easier. There are not enough thanks in the world for me to tell you all how much it means to me that I was able to get here because of all of you and your donations.

I am so thankful and I am so SO happy

Gone
“Someone had told me once
That most of the stars in the sky
Have already died
That the constellations
Are just memories
Shining brightly in their stead
Like fireflies caught in a spider’s web
They shine so brightly
Before they’re gone “
- Oliver Rose

Kara and I are currently driving to the hospital for my top surgery today! I feel so endlessly lucky and thankful, I can’t say it enough. This is a new beginning I didn’t see coming for myself and I’m so beyond excited to wake up, just a few hours from now, and feel so much more at home.

I cannot thank each and every one of you for your love and support ❤️

Shoutout to the last towel I will ever wrap around my chest!

Lost
“The things that truly kill me
are the things that go unsaid
and now I’m here alone
with this pounding in my head
I drank too much last night
to try and drown the thoughts
that only lasted until morning
now once again I’m lost”
- Oliver Rose

Camel Silvers
“I promised my Dad I would never smoke a cigarette
So when he died
I started smoking as an act of defiance
But I felt like it brought me closer
I would drive along the highway
Flick the spark off into the night
Driving for three hours up into Maine
To try and sell life insurance
To people who couldn’t afford cable
I would smoke until my mouth got sores
Watching the sunrise
Camel Silvers
Lined my lungs
With tarred memories
I could never open the window enough
To get the stench of ci******es
Out”
- Oliver Rose
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I’ve officially made a page supporting my poetry! If you’ve enjoyed any of the poems I’ve been posting, they’ll now be available (almost) every day at my new page below ☺️❤️

Evolve (ing)
“I am not a caterpillar.
I do not wander around in search of one purpose
Though I am hungry
I am not full on the surface level
Crunch
Of someone else’s plan
I am not a butterfly.
I have not reached my full potential
While I am beautiful
I am not done defining beauty
Inside
Of my precious cocoon
I am in constant chrysalis
Ever changing
With hopes of never stopping
There is no Evolve (ed)
Only Evolve (ing).”
- Oliver Rose
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Evolve (ing)
“I am not a caterpillar.
I do not wander around in search of one purpose
Though I am hungry
I am not full on the surface level
Crunch
Of someone else’s plan
I am not a butterfly.
I have not reached my full potential
While I am beautiful
I am not done defining beauty
Inside
Of my precious cocoon
I am in constant chrysalis
Ever changing
With hopes of never stopping
There is no Evolve (ed)
Only Evolve (ing).”
- Oliver Rose
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Ingrained
“It works it’s way in
Like a root system
Growing along my bones
Making them ache
Squeezing and throbbing and pulling at my skin
You can cut the surface
But the roots go deep.”
- Oliver Rose
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Unknown
“Have you ever met someone,
that understands you
in a way you never thought was possible?
They finish your sentences,
complete your thoughts,
they know what you’re feeling.
First they take your attention,
then your affection,
then your heart.
You catch yourself thinking,
"What about us…"
Planning a future together.
Have you ever met someone that takes what you see
and even on the bleakest days
makes it beautiful?
It is a scary
terrifying
beautiful
wonderful
feeling,
I know.
Because I met this someone,
when I met you.”
- Oliver Rose
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Love Dad
“Let me put the weight of the world
Gently on your shoulders
Even if it may be too much
For you
To hold
I didn’t mean to give you a rough start
I didn’t know I’d leave
So much
Behind me when I left
But I left
And you’re left to carry
The burdens buried
Unspoken hatchets in the dirt
Behind the house you were raised
I find it amazing
That you
Became you”
- Oliver Rose

I had a dream about my Dad last night for the first time since my transition. Yesterday was his birthday! Happy belated old guy ❤️

My Favorite Book
“You are more than a good book.
You are the smell of a stuffy library, on a hot afternoon
Full of potential.
You are more than a plot line, the sequential rise and fall.
You are the unpredictable storm of words that comes in no timeline;
The easily misinterpreted.
You are more than a combination of 26 letters.
You are the laughs and smiles of memories gone by and the lines of stories yet to be written that do more than produce the monotonies of the masses.
You individualize the common word and make it your own life and breath.
You give meaning to a meaningless word, a strung together series of those same 26 letters that should have made no sense but will tell you everything you need to know when written or interpreted by
You.
You are more than just a story, or another book on a shelf.
You are a novel of epic proportions being written and rewritten, drawn and redrawn over years of anticipation and trepidation.
You are the story written for the masses, the novel for all to read, the one person that everyone understands but no one can really understand at all because you do not even understand yourself.
You are the reason for my happiness, sadness, or anger all in one.
You are the reason why I chose to feel instead of turn to stone because when life turned Medusa my way I thought of you and closed my eyes.
You saved me from myself because you are who I feel for.
Yes.
You are more than a good book.
You are the book with the coffee stained pages and worn binding, the dog-eared corners and the underlined passages.
You are the novel that is read and reread, not put down without finding something new.
You are my favorite book.”
- Oliver Rose
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Wordless
“if someone had told me,
many years ago
that I would have feelings
I could not put into words
I would have learned a different language”
- Oliver Rose
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Flowers
“Thoughts about you tumble from my lips in a desperate struggle to show the world your beauty
They fall like acid and burn on my tongue but grow flowers on the floor they meet.
I don't know when I started collecting those flowers but I have a bouquet.
A bouquet of the words that I pulled from my thoughts and grew into flowers that grow where they land.
This garden of love I've grown for you
And I don't know when it started
And I don't want it to stop
But this is my bouquet of flowers for you.
The thoughts that fall from my tender lips aching to feel the pressure of yours.
As the sweet scent of love flowers built from my words that fell from my thoughts
Permeates the world
And I stop to pick them up
I don't know when I started to
But I know I'll never stop.”
- Oliver Rose
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Blush
“It doesn’t take long to feel
Though it might take longer to realize
The butterflies in your stomach
Can’t be killed with pesticide
A slight touch makes you shudder
A smile stretches across your lips
Intertwining fingers
A graceful hand on the hips
A kiss heard round the world
One that’s felt but never touched
Reddened cheeks grow warmer
My dear how you make me blush”
- Oliver Rose
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Woven
“What are we,
if not woven into the roots
The ever spreading
strangled stretches of our selves
Growing into the earth
Taking refuge
in all that we cling to
Dirt under fingernails
Springtime rain
Sweat of lovers
Soaked into our earth
Keeping us quenched.”
- Oliver Rose
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A Perfect Moment
“To imagine your eyes closed, with a flicker of movement
As you remain in the most vulnerable state
In My arms
While dreams dance across your eyelids and you breathe
So effortlessly
As if nothing at all matters
And I smooth the hair from your face
While you snore lightly
And a smile dances across my lips
It is so easy to imagine.”
- Oliver Rose
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Oliver Rose updated their information in their About section.

I used to be told I didn’t dress myself well - honestly I absolutely didn’t - I realize more and more that I dressed to be comfortable not realizing what it was that I needed to change. Not understanding that the way I felt in the clothes I was wearing, was because of how I felt in my body, made me resent dressing nicely at all.

I find so often that my clothes now reflect the most notable changes for me in my confidence, demeanor, and overall attitude. Dressing for my real self has been one of my favorite experiences with my transness and gender euphoria