Vatos and Platos

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Johnny Chingas!

Dreamer: hey foo. Let’s start making some videos, ese! We can throw on some of the gear, put on some rollas, drink some birras and you can cook. We can talk to the hynas and show’em what we do, carnal! We’ll call it…. ✋🏼ONLY-Pans!🤚🏻
😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♂️ These foos go on some crazy viajes! BUT, this foo is right. We need some videos. 😉🤫 let’s get down on this platon first. Conchas Rellenitas

1 box of large shells
1 15oz container of Ricotta
2 5oz containers of Parmesan cheese
2 5oz bags of shredded mozzarella
A few chopped up button mushrooms
1 pound of raw and deveined shrimp
A bushel of parsley
1 jar of any “Italian pasta sauce” 👈🏻 Tiny: “aye-aye como que “Italian pasta sauce”. That’s spusghetti sauce, foo!” 🤦🏻‍♂️
Chopped white onion
Chopped garlic
Chopped parsley
Olive oil
1 egg
Salt
Black pepper

Gotta get these Vatos involved if we’re gonna make videos. So I’m gonna have Tiny help me out. Aver que show! 🤦🏻‍♂️😅 Wacha. In a large pot, add water and a couple tablespoons of olive oil and bring to a boil. While that’s going on, grab a large pan, ponle un chorrito de olive oil and put it on medium to high heat. Ahora picas el camaron, garlic and onion. Tiny: “Check out my eyes, ese! 🥺 I don’t even feel sad but I’m crying.” This foo had never chopped an onion before. 🤦🏻‍♂️😂 My Jefa always said that if your eyes water when you cut onions, eres celoso. Anyone else ever heard of that?! ♥️😄 Te amo, Madre! Anyways. Make sure the pan is nice and hot and throw in your shrimp. Que chillen! 🔥🍤 You wanna toss’em around until they become white/VERY LIGHT pink. You don’t wanna fully cook them because they’re gonna finish cooking in the oven. While that’s going on, echele ojo a tu agua. It should be boiling. If it is, throw in about 30 shells. That’ll use up all your stuffing. Don’t forget to season your shells with a lil salt. Just like your shrimp, you don’t wanna over cook them because they’re going in the oven. So you want them “al dente”. Tiny: que chingaos es, al dente?!”. Firm! Not to soft and not to hard. Tiny: why don’t you just say that foo?! 😡 Ahora, get yourself a large mixing bowl. Throw in your 15oz ricotta, 5oz Parmesan, 5oz mozzarella, a lil bit of salt, pepper and parsley. Mix it up, homie! Now throw in the fridge and by this time your shrimp should be ready. Put’em a side and we’re gonna use the same pan to make the sauce. SO DONT clean it. We want all those flavors in the sauce. Tiny: “Chale! You said this was gonna be easy, foo! You got me crying and learning another language. Alrato, homeboy!” 🤦🏻‍♂️😂🤣 This foo actually left too! 😂💀 No te rajes like that foo. 😡 Grab your pan, medium to high heat, add some butter, your mushrooms, onion and garlic. Sauté everything and then throw your spusghetti sauce 👈🏻😅. Stir and let simmer. Ahora grab your shells, stuffing y ah trabajar! Don’t be codo with the stuffing either, ese. Make’em nice and rellenitas. Ya saben como me gustan! 😘 oye mami! Ven paca! 🥰 This part is gonna be fast, so trucha. Once you got’em stuffed, grab your baking pan/glassware and pour your sauce in. Lay down all your shells and cover’em with the rest of your mozzarella. Cover’em up and throw’em in the oven at 400 degrees for 25/30 mins. Take’em out, uncover them and broil them for 2 mins. Carnal, I left these fools in there for one rolla ese y wacha como salieron. SO TRUCHA! (3 mins) Who doesn’t know how to tell time with songs? A shower takes about 6 or 7 songs. That’s like 20/25 mins. If the homies say they’re gonna be here in like 10mins, I’ve got like 3 songs before they get here. 😂 Gotta have the rollas on all the time, ese! 😎👊🏻♥️ Anyways! Take’em out y Mira nomas. Que chulas!!! Put a lil more Parmesan and some parsley y TAN-TAN. Provecho y ay te wacho!



This one is dedicated to the homeboy, Raymond “Dreamer” Saenz. You still cross my mind every time we post something. You gave me this idea right before you left us. It took some time but I got it going. Hope you’re proud. Had to give you your spot. Alrato, carnal. 👊🏻🖤 1/30/89 - 11/25/18

El pinchi Tiny came over and wanted something to munch on while I got ready. I told his ass to get some cereal.
Tiny: “Bro. Why is this cereal spicy?”

No mames! 🤦🏻‍♂️ New recipe coming out tomorrow. Stay tuned…

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Johnny Chingas! 👈🏻😅 story time

Now that I’m cooking again, mi vecino (Travis) can smell the food since he’s upstairs. So that foo came down and said, “Hey Mary-Oh (that’s how he says my name🤦🏻‍♂️), Whatcha got cooking?”. 👀 El pinchi Tiny was there and was like, “Este vato otra ves? Ya ni chingas!” Travis: why do your friends like to call you Johnny Ching-gus? 🤔 We had forgotten that fool had said that before and Tiny was rollin! 😂 So we’re gonna start using it from now on. 😎 Entiendes Mendez? Orale! 😎👊🏻 Let’s get this platon going… Molletas: Estilo Vatos Locos. Q-VO! 😁

Necesitamos:

A package of steak. - Flank, skirt, 7 bone, milanesa … you can even get fancy and get some ribeye! Aye-Aye. Trucha con el tio dinero! 😂 No importa. Lo que to quieras.
Chorizo - Peytons is the best! Fight me. Q-VO! 🤨😎😂
Cooked pinto beans
Cotija cheese (preferably crumbled)
Crema mexicana
Salsa
Lettuce
Onion
Tomato
Aguacate
Bolillo bread

This is gonna be fast, homeboy. So ponte trucha! Grab two pans and put them both on medium to high heat. Throw your chorizo on one and throw your steaks on the other one. SEASON YOUR STEAKS! Sal de ajo, pepper and a lil onion powder. Nothing crazy, ese. Que chillen tus chuletas! Sear them real good. While your steaks are doing their thing, stomp on the chorizo like he tried to talk to your ruka, ay! 🤨 A plastalo. 😡Ya, ya, ya! 🤬🤬Shank that foo, ese! 🔪 Aye-aye. Calm down, Lil Puppet. 😂 I ain’t gonna lie, homes. That chorizo is gonna fight back and pop on you. Don’t be a chaval though. If your abuela could do it, you can do it! Alright, alright… stop playing with your chorizo. 😂 Throw your pinto beans in. Kevin: “Um, home-boy, sir. Aren’t you going to drain the oil from the chorizo?” COMO QUE, DRAIN THE OIL!!! That’s the best part, ese! Re-FRIED beans… frijoles fritos… authentic Mexican cooking, homeboy. We need it! 🤦🏻‍♂️ Otra ves, a chingasos! 😂🤜🏻🤜🏻🤜🏻🤜🏻 smash those beans. I like mine kinda CHUNKY… and y’all already know what I’m gonna say…… como me gustan las babydolls! Aye papa! 😂🥰😘 You firme hynas don’t be shy. Slide into my DMs. 🤣 Pero no le hace. Como tu quieras. Turn off the heat and let them sit. Tira ojo a tus chuletas. They should be ready. Set’em aside and bring down the heat to medium low. We’re gonna deglaze the pan with some butter and sauté some onions. 🤤 Get’em nice and caramelized. Put them aside. Now turn it back up to high! Don’t worry about what’s left on the pan. We’re gonna soak it all up. Grab your bolillo, cut it in half and slap some butter on it. Throw it on the hot pan y otra ves ah chingasos! Smash your bread, flip it, smash it again, flip it, smash again and again and again until it’s nice and toasted and flat. Man, this recipe is violent. 😅 No le hace, homeboy. We can’t show these fools that we’re soft, ay. Vatos Locos forever! *throws gang signs* ✊🏻🤞🏻✌🏻🤏🏻👆🏻🤌🏻👉🏻🖖🏻🤙🏻 😂 It doesn’t have to be super toasty but it needs to be able to hold everything. So you be the judge. Time to put everything together, homes. Bread, Mayo, beans, onions, carne, lettuce, crema, cojita, salsa y aguacate. In that order or throw it away! 😂 Aye-aye. Do it however, homes. This is your dish now. TAN-TAN! Molleta: Estilo Vatos Locos. Oye mami, ven aca. Comete algo, Chiquita! 😘 Buen provecho y ay te wacho! 👊🏻😎

😉😅

Side note: any salsa is good. I used a salsa made from chile de arbol. But a salsa verde will go well with them as well. I’ve also used shredded Muenster cheese instead of cojita.

Making tortillas is no joke. The desmadre that was made in the kitchen…🤦🏻‍♂️ Pero the burritos de mantequilla were chingon! Frijoles con chorizo y queso are next! 🤤

Trucha! New recipe coming out tomorrow 😎👊🏻

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Marioooooooo

Mira nomas. They open up Texas 100% and they put your homie to work 24/7. This vato can’t even cook himself a decent meal. All I got time for is Mickey D’s y Water-burger. 👈🏻🤣 You know you say it like that too, foo! Don’t lie. 🧐 😂 CHALE! These foos can’t keep this vato down, Ay! 🤨 This one is gonna be quick and easy… like me on a Friday night. ORALEEEEEE! 😉😎😆 Let’s make some Tacos Ahogadas de Camaron.

Vamos a necesitar:

2 lbs of raw camarones (pay the extra to get them deveined and tails chopped. Si no, you’re gonna be playing with shrimp nalgas y poo for a while)
5 Roma tomatoes
1 large chopped white onion
1 jalapeño chopped
2 aguacates
4 cloves of garlic
Cilantro
1 small can of chipotles
1 brick of cream cheese
Crema mexicana
White pepper
Black pepper
Garlic salt
Knorrs chicken bouillon
Queso of your choice. (Try to go with something that gets all gooey 🤤 like Muenster.)
Queso fresco

Estan muy facil pero chingones! Grab yourself a large pan, medium to high heat, add a chorito de olive oil and 2 chopped garlic cloves. Saben que es el Holy Trinity of Mexican food? Tomate, cebolla y jalapeno! You get those 3 in a pan with a lil sal y pepper and you’ll have any house smelling like someones abuelas house. 🥰 Sauté everything until your onions start to get soft, throw in your shrimp and once they start to turn pink, add salt, pepper, white pepper, muevelo-muevelo 💃, throw un chingo de cheese on top and cover it. You’re half way there, homes! We haven’t even had a whole beer yet! 🤦🏻‍♂️ Time to break out the tequila. Pero nomas un poquito. Ya saben que pasa con migo… 🤫😆 🕺🍑 Ayyyyyyyyyy! Dale otro! 😉 Time to make the salsa! Roast 3 tomatoes, half an onion, 1 jalapeño and 3 garlic cloves. You don’t gotta do this and can blend everything raw, BUT… the abuela better not be around. “NO SEAS FLOJO!”. 🩴😫 Pi**he chanclaso! 🥺 Throw it all in the blender with a palm full of cilantro, small can of chipotles, a brick of cream cheese, a table spoon of Knorrs and a cup of water. Bust out a medium pot and medium frying pan. Add enough manteca in your pan to fry your tortillas and about a table spoon in your pot so you can cook your salsa. Ya se, ya se… “manteca is so bad for you”. 🙄 Wacha, Karen. This show is for the chingones. You want “healthy”? Take your ass to Chipotle or San Antonio where they don’t know what real Mexican food tastes like. SASSSSSSS! Shots fired! 😬🤐🤣 Aye-Aye. 🎶🎶What you gonna do, ese?! Don’t you know I’m locoooo? 🎶🎶 Ayyyyyyyyyyy. That rola goes hard! 😎 If you don’t know it, we can’t be friends, homes. 👉🏻👈🏻 Corte lo. Damn, I went on a viaje right there 😂😂😂 Your salsa should be nice and blended. Throw it in the pot once the manteca is nice and hot. It might pop a lil but don’t be a chavala. 🤨 Stir and bring to a simmer. Now just like you were making enchiladas, you wanna lightly fry your tortillas. Place it on a plate, add your stuffing and fold it like a taco. “Why not soak the tortilla in the salsa and roll them like enchiladas?” Then they wouldn’t be Tacos Ahogadas now would they, Karen. 🤦🏻‍♂️ As lo que tu quieras. At this point I’ve had too much tequila and don’t wanna make a mess 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 Dale otro! 🕺🍑🍑🙌🏻 Drench your tacos with the salsa, drizzle some crema mexicana, top with queso fresco, cilantro and aguacate. TAN-TAN Comete algo, Chiquita! 😘 Buen provecho y ay te wacho.

😂 jk 🙄✌🏻

Side note: KEEP IN MIND that crema mexicana, the chipotles and the cheeses you use can be salty. So watch your seasoning. Don’t hesitate to use less than I mentioned AND taste everything while you’re making it. You can always add salt at the end if you need it.

ORALEEEEEE! 😅😎

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Marioooooooo!

Que rollo! Man, it’s been a rough few months. Went to the doctors office and the first thing this foo says is, “Estas muy gordo!”. 🐽 THIS VATO! 🤬 I almost shanked that foo. 😒 It’s always, “Estas bien gordo.”. Nunca es, “Gordo, estas bien?”. 😔 He was like, “you gotta eat more fruit, cereal and fiber.” No mames! I said, “CHALE! You know what my problem is, I know how to cook, homes!” 😅 Como que fruit and cereal?!. Pasame la salsa. Estos gorditas need some spice! 😎🤣 I had to listen to him for a little while pero ya saben... soy terco! 😬 Here’s one of my “cheat meals”. One Pot Lasagna aka Tengo ganas de Lasagna pero no tengo ganas de hacerlo bien 😂
P.S. - Dr. Rodriguez , if you’re watching I’ve got one thing to say... A LA VE # # #! I’m gonna do what I want , ese! 🤟🏻🤏🏻👆🏻👌🏻✊🏻🤞🏻☝🏻✋🏼 < that’s me throwing gang signs 😂 Vatos Locos forever! 😎👊🏻

Necesitamos
1 package Italian sausage (I used mild)
1 package of Lasagne
1 large can of diced tomatoes
1/2 of a large white onion (chopped)
5 diced garlic cloves
1/3 of a stick of butter
1 jar of spaghetti sauce (preferably Prego. It’s on the sweeter side and tastes more like a traditional lasagna sauce)
2.5 cups of beef broth
1 cup heavy cream
Olive oil
1/2 block of Cream Cheese
Mozzarella
Parmesan
Ricotta
Parsley
Crushed red pepper flakes

My Gma Vicky used to invite us over for dinner and te lo juro, you could smell whatever she was cooking from down the street, homes! 🥰 We’d get there, she’d give us hugs and say how big we were getting. She’d then look at my jefe and say, “Estas gordo!” and laugh. 😂 It never changed! 😂💀 She usually made something that took one pot to make. This recipe is no different! Wacha, take a large pot put it on medium to high heat. Add a chorito de olive oil, butter, onions and garlic. While that’s sautéing, grab your meat... wacha, wacha, el pi**he Tiny crackeandose in the corner otra vez because I said grab your meat. 🤦🏻‍♂️ 😂 Never fails! Grab your meat and remove the casing. - Tiny: Porque? It’s easier to break it down, cooks faster and you won’t get big chunks. 🧐 Chop it up and throw it in with your onions and garlic. Tirale ojo and mix until it gets a dark shade of brown. Ayeeeeeeeee, you remember that rola “Homies” by Lighter Shade of Brown?! Esa rola estaba CHINGON! 🎶🎶 That’s when I USED TO BE a travieso 😬😎😄 Aye Aye, anyways... once your meat is brown throw in your tomatoes and spaghetti sauce. You better not throw that jar away either, foo! Rinse that s**t and save it for when one of the tias makes salsa and give it to her to fill it up! 👊🏻😎 Stir it up, add 2.5 cups of beef broth and 1/2 cup of heavy cream. Stir, bring to a boil, break up your pasta (not too small), dump’em in, cover and let it cook for about 15 mins. After the first 5 mins, stir... if you feel like it’s sticking to the bottom of the pot, turn down the heat and add a little more broth (half cup, possibly full cup. Just depends on the type of noods you got). Stir every 5 mins until the 15 mins are up. Your sauce is gonna start getting THICK... just like I like my rucas! Aye papa! Ya saben. 😘😅 It’s due to the starch from the pasta. While that’s cooking, start taking out all sartenes out from the oven. Don’t even trip, foo! You know you got like 3 pans, 2 pots and a couple baking sheets sitting in there. That’s just how the raza rolls! 😅 - Tiny: Pero porque?! To make some garlic bread, ese! 🤦🏻‍♂️ After getting your bread in the oven, check on your noods and TURN OFF the heat. If your noods are still a lil firm, leave them covered for about 5/10mins. There’s a difference between too firm and aldente. Some of you Vatos like your noods mooshy. CHALE! Take that basura to Karen’s. 🤢 Speaking of Karen, have you noticed that we haven’t seasoned anything???? 😂😂💀 Not to worry! The Italian sausage, spaghetti sauce and cheeses that we use have more than enough flavor and salt. Wacha, grab your cream cheese and a spoon. You’re gonna make small balls and toss them in with your noods and sauce. Do a few and lightly turn. What you want to do is create small pockets of cream cheese. Don’t get crazy and stir a todo madre! Your cream cheese will quickly melt and that’s all you’ll taste. Do this until you run out of cream cheese (half a block). My tripas estan hablando! 🤤🤤🤤 TASTE IT! IF you think it needs seasoning, this is the time to put it. You can use salt, pepper, garlic salt, Italian season... no le hace! Just remember, you have 3 more cheeses to add... 🧐 This is your dish now. 😌 Now, time to build your plate. Large bowl, then a puño of mozzarella, then noods with sauce, then a puño of Parmesan and then a dollop of Ricotta cheese. Garnish with some parsley and chili flakes for some heat. Oh yeah... don’t forget the bread like I ALMOST 😉 did. 😅 TAN TAN. Oye mami... ven pa’ca! 😘 Comete algo, Chiquita. 🥰 Buen provecho y aye te wacho!

😉

This is dedicated to my Grandmother, Victoria “Grandma Vicky”
07/15/1924 - 11/24/2020
I know you’re cooking for everyone up there. I close my eyes and catch a whiff of your chicken soup from time to time. Save me a plate. 🥰🖤

You skinny Vatos better move over! It’s gordito season 😎 It got cold the other day and everyone got crazy. Started making all sorts of caldos. 😂 Well we got down on some “Barrio Ramen”. Stay tuned for the full recipe.

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Marioooooooo

Que rollo, mi Gente?! I know I’m a week late but I still gotta give a shout out to all the raza out there que ponen las pilas every morning. We may not get to work on time but ay estamos en chinga everyday! Ah 🥚! 😅😎 Everybody in El Paso has their version of Chicos Tacos but you can’t find the OG’s... Flautas Ahogadas. Carne de res flautas, drenched in a spicy tomatillo sauce, topped with crema mexicana, aguacate and queso fresco. 🤤🤤🤤 What you know about this, carnal?! Let’s take it back to the old school...

Necesitamos
Carne Asada
Corn tortillas
Queso Fesco
10-15 Tomatillos
3 cloves of Garlic
Knorrs chicken bouillon
1/2 of large white Onion
2 Serrano peppers
1 Jalapeño
Cilantro

Everybody thinks cooking is hard pero es facil! I’m gonna prove it with this recipe here. Vamos a comenzar con la salsa. Grab your tomatillos, onion, Serrano peppers and jalapeños. Throw those foos in a large pot with a tablespoon of salt and turn that sucker on medium/high. Ahora grab your meat and beat it up. Look look mira... el pinchi Tiny crackeandose en el esquina. Mal pensado! 😂😂😂 Carne asada can be a lil tough sometimes. So you gotta beat it up like he was looking at your ruca, homes. Ponle una chinga until it’s tender. Ahora, put it on a pan on high heat with some salt and pepper to your liking. You wanna sear both sides and let it hit medium rare. “Ew... I don’t like raw meat”. 💁🏼‍♀️ Calmate, Karen! We’re gonna cook it more right now. Grab a fork and shank those foos in the pot. Estan listos? Arre! NO TIRES LA AGUA! You’ll see right now. The tomatillos are the star of the sauce. So you should have about 10 tomatillos, 2 Serrano peppers, 1 jalapeño and half of a white onion. Throw these bad boys, plus 3 cloves of garlic in a blender, along with a puño of cilantro and 2 and a half tablespoons of Knorrs bouillon chicken seasoning. This part is up to you. You want your sauce thick or thin? Add some of the water that you used to boil the vegetables and make it como lo quieras. Traditionally, it should be a thick soup. PRUEBALO. “Estabas enohado cundo lo hiciste?! ” 😂 For my non-spanish-speaking-amigos: According to the grandmas and aunts, if you make salsa when you’re upset, your salsa comes out REALLY spicy. So translation is: “Were you mad when you made this?!”. 😂🤷🏻‍♂️ Once you’ve tasted it and it’s too spicy for you, add sugar. Add a teaspoon or less at a time until you get the heat you like. Now that we’re done being chavals, let’s get back to cooking! 😎👊🏻 Put the sauce in a large sauce pan on medium heat and bring it up to a simmer. While that’s doing it’s thing, get your oil going. Remember, it takes about 4 rolas for your oil to be ready. Throw on some rolas and chop up your carne asada. Ya se! Your meat is medium rare. Once you roll it up and fry up the flautas, your carne is going to be cooked perfectly! If you would have cooked your carne longer, your carne would have been todo quemado! Let’s check out your rolling skills, ese. Mira nomas... CHINGON! 😎👊🏻 Ladies, if you have trouble rolling flautas, call up one of the homeboys... he’ll have those flautas nice and tight! 🚬🌲🍀🤫😂 It’s time to plate, homeboy! Flautas, sauce, crema, queso fresco and then your aguacate. My carnal Jesse, over at Tacoholics here in El Paso, serves up some Bomb ass flautas ahogadas! That vato gets down. Tirame una linea if you’re ever in town and we’ll go get some! 😉 You can get’em with a side of cilantro lime rice and that’s exactly what I made. Gotta give credit when credit is do, ese. Tan Tan. OYE MAMI! VEN PA’CA! 😍 Comete algo, Chiquita! 😘 Buen provecho y aye te wacho. 😎👊🏻

Leave a comment if you want the recipe for the cilantro lime rice. 😉

👈🏻😂

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Marioooooooo

Que rollo! We’re gonna switch up the estilo and show you that we can get down on some other platons. Tacos and gorditas are cool but this one will have her sayin, “Aye Papi!”. 😉😎

Fettuccine Alfredo with grilled Chicken, Broccoli and Mushrooms

Necesitamos
2 grilled and chopped chicken breasts. Grill and slice these before hand. If you don’t wanna get down like that, go to Walmart and ask them for precooked grilled chicken. Thank me later 😉👊🏻😎
1 box of fettuccine
1 crown of broccoli chopped/broken
1 package of hongos. Sliced or whole. No le hace.
2 sticks of salted sweet cream butter
1 16oz heavy whipping cream
1/2 of a large onion minced
3 cloves of garlic minced
2 cups of Parmesan cheese. Pero de le buena!
Un puno de parsley chopped

Wacha, homeboy. First thing you’re gonna do is serve up two glasses of wine, throw on some slow jams and tell your queen to have a seat cuz Papi’s got the movidas tonight! 😎 🕺 You can’t go wrong with Stella Rose Black or Moscato, homie. Am I right, ladies?! That’s how facil this recipe is. ORALE. Get yourself a large pot, fill half way with water and set it on high heat. DON’T THROW YOUR PASTA IN YET! 🤦🏻‍♂️ Wacha, if you try to cook pasta with cold water, it tends to stick together and sometimes to the bottom of the pot. Wait until it comes to a boil, add a teaspoon of salt, un chorito de olive oil AND THEN drop your pasta. While you’re waiting for the water to boil, let’s start choppin up the vegetables. Tiny: “Ay foo, why don’t you ever cry when you chop onions?!” Chale! Porque no estoy celoso! 😎 😂 How many of you have abuelas that told you that if you cry when you chop onions it means you’re a jealous person?! Abuelas got crazy ways of finding out things 😂 One time, my Gma handed my ex wife an onion and was like, “ Andale Mija, pica este cebolla”. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Her crying was the chizme with the tias for months 😅 Check out the pics. I give instructions on how NOT to be celoso. 👊🏻😎 Grab a medium pot, medium to high heat and put a quarter stick of butter. You’re gonna sauté your MINCED onions and garlic until your onion IS clear. Now throw in the rest of the butter, which should be 1 and 3/4 sticks and season with 1/2 a teaspoon of white pepper, black pepper and garlic powder. Ahora ponte trucha. Once the butter has melted add a half a cup of Parmesan, whisk until smooth, add a splash of heavy cream, whisk once again and repeat until you’ve done all 2 cups of Parmesan cheese. Tiny: “Nah nah, foo. I’m not down.”. 🤦🏻‍♂️ WHY YOU CRYING?! Ya se, esta ca**on but that’s the hardest part, foo. So chata! 🤐😂 Make sure to use all of the whipping cream and remove from heat. You’re half way there, ese! Your water should be ready. Drop your pasta like a 64 Impala, homes! ORALEEEEEE! 😎 Ahora grab a large sauce pan, set on medium /high heat and add a chorito de olive oil and tablespoon of butter. Throw in your broccoli and sauté for a few minutes. You don’t want to over cook them. You want that fresh crunch still. Then add your sliced mushrooms and chicken and season with 1/2 a teaspoon of garlic salt and onion powder. Sauté everything until the chicken has reheated. Remove from heat. By this time your pasta should be al dente. AYE AYE, como que “al dente”! Bueno pues... it’s still a little firm and not too soft. 😒😄 You’re ready to plate, homeboy! Me gusta mi sauce como me gusta las babydolls... THICK! 😍 AY PAPA! If the sauce is too thick for you, add a little water from the pasta. Thin it out as much as you’d like. 😑 plate in this order... Pasta, sauce, veggies/chicken, chopped parsley and extra Parmesan si te gusta. Serve with some garlic bread y TAN-TAN. Oye mami, ven paca! Comete algo, Chiquita. 😘 Buen provecho y ay te wacho!

Side note: any Moscato or Chardonnay pairs well with Alfredo sauce. Pictured is Stella Rosa. Which is a red wine that is more on the sweeter side. So it still paired well.

Welcome back to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Mariooooo

Hijola! I’ve made so many new homies recently and I saw a few of you rucas sad this past week. 😔 Looked like some payasos had broken your hearts. CHALE! We’re gonna put something together for you today. It’s quick and easy like that vato, homegirl! Forget that foo. Call up your girls, tell’em to bring over some 40’s cuz we’re gonna make unos crunchy chicken tacos. Tacos before vatos. ❤️ UNLESS the other vato brings tacos. 🤨👊🏻😎 and I’m that other vato! ORALEEEEEE! 😉

Necesitamos
Boiled and pulled chicken legs and thighs (SEASON WHEN BOILING 😊 you don’t gotta get fancy. Just throw some butter and season all in the water)
Corn tortillas
3 tomatoes (chopped)
1/2 of white onion (diced)
2 cloves of garlic (diced)
Sharp cheddar
Muenster cheese
Olive oil
Vegetable oil/Corn oil/Manteca NO LE HACE! We just need something to fry estas chulas!
Salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder

We use to slang these bad boys for $1 every Tuesday when I had my bar & grill. Some of you wanted the recipe... pos ay tamos! 😎👊🏻 Buy me a shot of Hornitos next time you see me. 😉 Grab yourself a large sauce pan, high heat, echale un chorito de olive oil, throw in your garlic, tomates and cebolla. Season with 1/2 a teaspoon of salt, black pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. “Why do you use onion powder and garlic powder if you already have onion and garlic in there, Mary-Oh?!” 👈🏻 the way my neighbor says my name 😂 🤦🏻‍♂️ Wacha, it enhances the flavors of both the vegetables without over loading the dish with vegetables, Travis! 🙇🏼🙇🏼🙇🏼 Sauté until you see the onions START to become translucent. Now we throw in the chicken... PERRO QUINQUIS, HOMEGIRL! 🤞🏻TIME OUT! Por favor, DONT USE CHICKEN BREASTS! No manches! It’s too dry and even if you shred it, it’ll get soggy and mooshy with the tomatoes and onions. I like my pieces of chicken como las babydolls... Morenitas! OYE MAMI VEN PA CA! 😍😄 Legs and thighs (dark meat) are naturally juicy and by adding the tomatoes and onions, the chicken soaks up the the water/juices from the vegetables y vamos a tener unos tacos perro muy ricos! 🤤🤤🤤 Take a look at the pics... the chicken is pulled not shredded! You’ll have big juicy chunks of chicken in your tacos 🤤 The chicken is already cooked. So toss it in y ya saben, 🎶🎶muevelo muevelo🎶🎶. I wanna see those cinturas movin! 💃💃💃 ASI MERO! 😍 🎶🎶muevelo muevelo🎶. Now remove it from the heat. We wanna let the chicken soak up all that flavor. In another large sauce pan, put about a cup and a half of oil. Again, NO LE HACE cual tipo es. Set to medium heat. While you’re waiting for that to heat up, you can start on your salsa/guacamole. Check your oil by tossing in a piece of tortilla. If you see it dancing around, it’s ready! If it just floats, take a few shots with your homegirls until it’s ready 😉 I can’t have too much tequila. I’m allergic... it makes my clothes fall off! AY PAPA, DALE OTRO! Puro Pi**he Party! 😅 Now load up your tortillas and drop’em in. Let them do their thing and flip them a few times. The crunchier the better, homes! Take them out once they get morenitas. If you’re not too sure if they’re ready to be removed, shank’em with a fork, ese. You’ll be able to tell if they’re crunchy right away. When removing them from the oil, tip them on their ends so that the excess oil will drain and then place them on a paper towel. Throw a lil salt on the outside of them while they’re still wet. The salt will stick to the tortilla. 🤤🤤🤤 These tacos are so juicy and flavorful! Time to load them up. 😎 Lettuce, cheese and some type of salsa is a must! Wanna chop up some fresh tomato, onion, whip up some sour cream, cut up some aguacates? NO LE HACE. Como lo quieran. These are now your tacos homie! Mira nomas. Que chulas! 😍 TAN TAN! Comete algo, Chiquita. 🥰 Buen provecho y ay te wacho!

**heParty




🖤

Welcome to another episode of Vatos and Platos with Marioooooooo

NO MANCHES! kermes season should be in full swing right now, ese! Loteria, tacos, enchiladas, agua frescas, live music, all the low riders, las baby dolls lookin firme and my favorite... GORDITAS. PERO NO! 🚫😷 My lil fat kid heart is broken, A. Chale! No me aguito. I’ll just make some and make them like I like my women... RELLENITAS y picosas! Ay PAPA! Ven paca, chula! 😍 Vamos! Let’s get down like James Brown. 😎👊🏻

Necesitamos
Stuffing/picadillo:
1 lb ground beef
1 pealed and chopped potato
1 jalapeño 👈🏻 no le hace si no muerde. It’s more for the flavor this time.
1/2 of a large white onion. Chopped
3 garlic cloves picados
2 cups of cheese. No le hace cual.
Olive oil
Salt, black pepper, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder

Masa:
2.5 cups Maseca
1 cup flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 tablespoon of salt
1 cup chile de arbol salsa (get yourself a little container from your local grocery store)
1 cup water
* this makes about 10 gorditas

Wacha, this is recipe comes straight from the source, ese! Las Hermanas don’t like to give their secrets but a few Our Fathers and Hail Marys later and I got it. 🙏🏻😇😂 Shout out to the nuns del San Jose Church in El Paso, TX and the big guy upstairs. El Big Chuy! 👊🏻😎 Start with a large sauce pan, medium to high heat and add a chorito de olive oil and throw in your garlic, cebolla, jalapeños and potatoes. Sauté until the onions start to go translucent. Then throw in your carne molida and season with 1 teaspoon of salt, black pepper, cumin, onion powder and garlic powder. Let it do it’s thing. Tirarle ojo and stir from time to time while we work on our masa. That’s your basic picadillo recipe. You can throw that stuff in a burrito, on a tostada, on some nachos... NO LE HACE! You’ll have your Mexicans homies saying, “Como chingados?!” Don’t worry, it’s a good thing. 😎👊🏻 Before you start on your masa, heat up some oil (I used 3 quarters of a regular sized bottle). I like to use a large pot when frying things. It minimizes the mess.🤷🏻‍♂️ AyeAye, como que “minimizes”. The one thing that runs in my head every time I cook is... “Vas a verlo si agas un tidero!” - Gma. As she held up a chankla. 😣😅 Hazlo como tu quieras! This is the most important part though... PUTATENSHUN! HEAT and width of your gorditas! You don’t want it too hot because you’ll cook the outside too quick and you’ll be left with raw masa in the middle of your gorditas. Same thing goes for the thickness. Which you can scoop out but that’s a peewee move. We’re veteranos, homes! 😎👊🏻 Set your heat to medium. If you’re fancy and have a thermometer, 350/375 is the goal. Now throw on some oldies. Nostros raza, usually don’t measure ingredients or know cooking times. Ay veces que nomas pongo mi mano across whatever I’m doing and I know if something is hot and ready. AY PAPA! 😉😄🤷🏻‍♂️ Y luego, we always have music on so I’m gonna tell you it’s gonna take about 4 rolas for your oil to heat up. 😅 Wacha, in a large mixing bowl add 2.5 cups of Maseca, 1 cup of flower, 1 tablespoon of baking soda, 1/2 a tablespoon of salt, 1 cup of water and here comes the secret ingredient... 1 cup of chile de arbol salsa. Chile de arbol salsa??!! SIMON QUE SI, HOMIE! Trust me 😎👊🏻 Mix it all up. Take a look at my pics. You see that bola de masa... you want it to look like that! Not too watery and not too dry. You can add more Maseca or water if you need to. So grab yourself a ball of masa, about the size of a golf ball or a lil bigger. Roll it in the palm of your hands like a snowball. Ahora vamos acer un jale Chicano! Grab 2 large ziplock bags or 2 plastic grocery bags, put the ball of masa between the 2, y luego grab a plate y APLASTALO! No todos tienen plancha pero estamos intelligentes. Entiendes Mendez?! 💪🏻😎 now we know si eres del barrio! ❤️ Take a look at it and make sure it’s about the width of a flour tortilla or just a little thicker. TAN-TAN!

Now grab a small piece of masa, pinch it, make it look like a tiny coin and throw it in. It should start dancing around and quickly float to the top. If it doesn’t, turn your heat up a little more. Listen to a couple oldies take a shot for me and you and then it should be ready! 😉 Throw in your first one and it should take about 2.9 minutes to cook. 😂 turn them around after about a minute and let them fry until they’re a nice golden/dark brown and puffy. Remove from the oil, place on a plate that has a couple napkins on it and let them cool. You wanna be able to grab it with your bare hand. Once you can, look at the pics and split them like so and stuff with your picadillo. You can add lettuce and tomato but I’m a meat, cheese, guac and salsa type of Gordita eater. 🤷🏻‍♂️ Pero no le hace. Como tu quieras! Y ya saben... Comete algo, Chiquita! 😘❤️ Buen provecho, y ay te wacho. 😎👊🏻







😉😁