Daughter of Trauma

“Today in one of our classes I introduced the children to two apples (the children didn't know this, but before the class I had repeatedly dropped one of the apples on the floor, you couldn't tell, both apples looked perfect). We talked about the apples and the children described how both apples looked the same; both were red, were of similar size and looked juicy enough to eat.

I picked up the apple I'd dropped on the floor and started to tell the children how I disliked this apple, that I thought it was disgusting, it was a horrible colour and the stem was just too short. I told them that because I didn't like it, I didn't want them to like it either, so they should call it names too.

Some children looked at me like I was insane, but we passed the apple around the circle calling it names, 'you're a smelly apple', 'I don't even know why you exist', 'you've probably got worms inside you' etc.

We really pulled this poor apple apart. I actually started to feel sorry for the little guy.

We then passed another apple around and started to say kind words to it, 'You're a lovely apple', 'Your skin is beautiful', 'What a beautiful colour you are' etc.

I then held up both apples, and again, we talked about the similarities and differences, there was no change, both apples still looked the same.

I then cut the apples open. The apple we'd been kind to was clear, fresh and juicy inside.

The apple we'd said unkind words to was bruised and all mushy inside.

I think there was a lightbulb moment for the children immediately. They really got it, what we saw inside that apple, the bruises, the mush and the broken bits is what is happening inside every one of us when someone mistreats us with their words or actions.

When people are bullied, especially children, they feel horrible inside and sometimes don't show or tell others how they are feeling. If we hadn't have cut that apple open, we would never have known how much pain we had caused it.

I shared my own experience of suffering someone's unkind words last week. On the outside I looked OK, I was still smiling. But, on the inside someone had caused me a lot of pain with their words and I was hurting.

Unlike an apple, we have the ability to stop this from happening. We can teach children that it's not ok to say unkind things to each other and discuss how it makes others feel. We can teach our children to stand up for each other and to stop any form of bullying, just as one little girl did today when she refused to say unkind words to the apple.

More and more hurt and damage happens inside if nobody does anything to stop the bullying. Let's create a generation of kind, caring children.

The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.”

Words by: Mum in the Moment

RESOURCES:

Need to find out more about kids and bullying: https://parenttv.com/?s=Bullying

How to help look after your child’s mental health: https://parenttv.com/topics/mental-health/

05/11/2024

She had a choice between a man and a bear and chose the bear:

04/28/2024

Or assume it has an ulterior motive.

****Online group has open registration soon! To grab a spot in “A Year of Compassionate Growth” make sure you are on the waitlist @ linktr.ee/natepost

I’m so glad you’re here! 🫶✨💞

04/20/2024

Do you feel the same?
This is why I struggle with compliments. I am always waiting for the sting.

📷 Eternal Soul Sisters

04/13/2024

And it takes time, along with no small amount of strength. You are strong!! Keep going!!

04/13/2024

Absolutely something that has been problematic for me.

Some neurotypical people, when told that autistic people take things literally, imagine an Amelia Bedelia, or a Sheldon. I’ve found that these extremes are rare, but more subtle instances of phrases that have hidden meaning to allistic folks are all over the place.

“I don’t understand” was one of my least favorite to find out about.

I need the “why” of most things in the world. When I use the phrase “I don’t understand” it means I literally haven’t grasped something yet. I’m open to more info, I’m searching for answers, I’m trying to learn. Even if I have a view on the topic at hand, if I say I cannot understand the opposition, I am usually going to listen to them.

Others use “I don’t understand” as a way of saying that they disagree. I too often fell into a trap of hearing someone say “I don’t understand” and thinking that they just needed an explanation. Then I would be labeled argumentative, and I would be confused about how it was an argument when I was only trying to explain.

There were also times when I can look back and know that my literal “I don’t understand” was taken as dismissal or offensiveness, instead of a desire for a conversation. I wish I could apologize to some of those people. (EDIT: My wish to apologize to those people has been taken SO out of context. There is nothing wrong with me acknowledging that I have unintentionally shut down people who I would have preferred to support or to learn from. I often wish people understood ME better in order to support me in the way that I needed, and that road can go both ways!)

Autistic friends, are there any phrases you found out had non-literal meanings that you used “incorrectly” before finding out?

Photos from Movie Quotes To Tug Your Heartstrings's post

04/07/2024

04/01/2024

🥰🐣🐇🌿🍄🥚🍬
For all who celebrate, HAPPY EASTER!!!

These are the ONLY peeps that are accepted in this house. 😅💙🏳️‍⚧️

Y'all with the Dr. Pepper Peeps, the Pepsi Peepsi soda, and even those just munching on the plain ol' nasty Peeps are probably going to hell or something IDK.

Pretty sure this was made by Latter Gay Stories if my searching was correct.

03/30/2024

If you do ANYthing today, it’s more than NO-thing. One baby step can help and it all adds up. Love you, XO, Dr. Jen

03/29/2024

Monthly-ish reminder ❤️

03/26/2024

New journals!! One is open ended, the other I’m interested to see how a gratitude journal works for me!!!! I’ll share later!

How is journaling for you? Do you have a strategy?