Coach Nobody

Sometimes there’s no process except your child having fun and enjoying his time on a youth sports team.

Players are a mirror of their coach. PERIOD

Being a good sports parent takes alot of hard work.

If your on the sidelines telling the opposing U7 girls team parents that “your that guy” while gesturing inside your vest, you may be the problem. I mean I’m just spitballing.

Coaches need to think about how their players feel when they leave practice. Are they invigorated and can’t wait to come back next practice to learn and grow in a sport they hopefully love? Or, are they upset, doubting theirselves and dreading the next practice because they fear the coach or how many lines they’ll have to run?

As coaches we need to do better, I myself seriously didn’t make a change for the better till I really sat and thought about it. This was even after I had pushed my own kid out of a sport they loved playing by being “that parent”.

I had a parent approach me, we were friends outside of the team and his kid was a pretty good player and kid, his player was pretty upset after a particularly dumb post game talk where I may have told them “I quit” and they would have to run their own practices from now on. Of course they were upset about the thought of making their own coach quit because they were so bad. Very upset, and I had caused that. Immediately I thought of everytime I had said something mean or hurtful to other players or my own kids during sports!!!
Here we are supposed to be teaching this “game” to young kids! And we’re just making them hate the game or even themselves sometimes.

I see coaches do this everyday! My own kid is on a club team with a coach that constantly spouts “fix your face” while walking around with a scowl and threatening “lines” as punishment for messing up in practice. The team is constantly on edge the girls are afraid to mess up parents want to blame their kids and expect more from them all while the coach is berating and threatening their kids.

It’s a ridiculous loop and until we as coaches and parents realize what we’re doing it will keep happening over and over and over.

We have to do better for our players and our kids.

17 Ways I'm Going To Be A Better Sports Parent In 2024 | I Love to Watch You Play Each year I hope to be a better sports parent than I was the previous year. I'm a work in progress, and I never stop trying to improve.

Now that neither of my own kids play soccer anymore I think back to what I remember the most of their playing time. Of course watching them play and do well, all the time spent together enroute there and back once I stopped critiquing the games.
And most of all just time spent passing or juggling the ball while I heard some mundane story about what happened at school or their own practice.

Coaches are still to this day using punishment or being angry and hollering when their player messes up creating players who are afraid to try for fear of punishment. We’ll never learn.

Coaches need to constantly be thinking about what they are saying to young athletes. First because they are growing young minds, athletes second.

https://a.co/d/81osevP

I’ve actually had the “no I’m not paid” discussion with my team.

One thing with recreational youth sports is you don’t get much say in who’s on the team. You have to learn to win with what your given, lots of things will be out of your control.

How your kids perform at their sporting events or how athletic they are has nothing to do with how you are as a parent. Read it again.
Parents put so much into how good or bad their kids are at sports as a direct reflection of their parenting.

50 things I’ve learnt as a Coach:

1. You can learn from anyone and everyone no matter how old, young, experienced or inexperienced.

2. Your ears will never get you in trouble, so become a better listener than talker.

3. People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

4. Write things down. You won’t remember everything.

5. Look outside your sport or area of interest for new and fresh ideas.

6. Nobody wants to hear about all your problems. Separate your personal life from your work. Be an energy giver, not an energy vampire. Have a great attitude even when you don’t feel like it.

7. My mistakes and failures have taught me my biggest lessons. I’m still learning and hope I never stop.

8. I’ve learned to not to be afraid to ask for help from others.

9. I’ve learnt that there is beauty and clarity in simplicity. So keep it simple.

10. Be humble. Let go of ego.

11. There are no set ‘hours’ in this business. Be prepared to pay your dues, put in the long hours and work harder than the next person.

12. Coaching is not about the X’s and O’s (exercises, drills, sets, reps). It’s more about people and standards.

13. Just be nice to people. Even if you don’t like them.

14. I’ve learned that your athletes don’t care what YOU have done, but what you can do for THEM. It’s not about me.

15. Watch and learn from other coaches (not only in your own chosen sport). Not just what to do, but what NOT to do.

16. You don’t pursue success, you attract it by the person you become. Your attitude will get you further in life than your certifications or education.

17. Communicate well and often. Don’t leave things ‘unfinished’.

18. Look professional and presentable at all times. Take pride in your appearance. Neat clothes, hair, clean shoes etc..

19. Be early. Get to the practice, meeting or interview at least 10 minutes before.

20. I’ve learned to give more attention to the siblings of the star athlete in a family. The one’s who often get ignored and tag along with their star brother or sister to all the practices and competitions.

21. I’ve learned that the key to better relationships is in trying to understand the other person better. Not just get my point of view across.

22. I’ve learned to try stay connected in some way to past athletes. Also to not take offense if they leave you. If you are good enough, they will come back (or speak highly of you).

23. Be hungry, keep looking for ways to get better. Enroll for courses, listen to podcasts, order a book a month on Amazon etc..

24. Don’t speak ill of other people, coaches or programs.

25. I’ve learned that your people skills will get you further than your exercises or knowledge will.

26. Coaching should be a vocation, not a profession. If it’s not your passion, then maybe it’s not for you.

27. Learn and practice gratitude.

28. Invest in yourself – everyday.

29. Enjoy the journey. Every day might not be great, but keep looking for the great in everyday.

30. You are never going to please everyone. You are not going to be liked by everyone. Not everyone will agree with your views, methods or philosophies. They don’t have to. That’s life. That’s cool. Accept it.

31. Expect to be criticized when you keep things simple. At first they’ll think you’re not smart, then they’ll realize you actually are.

32. Stay off forums, ignore negative or nasty comments and avoid arguing a point.

33. Treat everyone the same, regardless of their status.

34. I’ve learned that the best reward in coaching is having a former athlete say you helped them become a respectable better person and responsible adult.

35. The fundamentals will always prevail. Stay close to them, know them, apply them.

36. It takes years to become an over night success.

37. I’ve learned that there are two kinds of people. Those who watch TV, and those who read.

38. I’ve learned that you need energy in order to give it. Take care of yourself. Exercise and stretch daily.

39. It all starts with standards. Your success and level of results are related to this.

40. I’ve learned that everyone has brilliant idea’s but very few are willing to persist and put the work and time into them.

41. I’ve learned that the more I fail, the more closer I come to success.

42. I’ve learned to spend my energy on things I CAN control.

43. I’ve learned that success is found in doing the uncomfortable. Doing what others are not prepared to do.

44. I’m learning to adapt to different people better and learn to understand them better.

45. That being a teacher, trainer or coach is a privilege. We get to influence and change lives.

46. I’ve learned that what got me to this level will rarely get me to the next level. I need to keep evolving.

47. I’ve learned that when you magnify others peoples strength’s, you bring out the best in them (and yourself).

48. I’ve learned no person or athlete is the same. I have to adapt to them, not them to me.

49. I’ve learned that the best example to my athletes and clients is my own. Not always easy, but I have to practice what I preach if I expect others to follow my lead.

50. I’ve learned that the more I know, the more I realize I don’t know.

Allistair McCaw

Travel tournament, what tournament? Sometimes your not really paying for the “games”.
Guarantee they don’t remember the scores.

I’ve been doing this for 14 years now.

TikTok · Devin Armand 1024 likes, 34 comments. “Just smile a little… please 😂”

Sometimes we’re so caught up in wins or loses we miss the good stuff. Talked to a coach having a tough season today after his game, he’s ready to hang it up after many years. I asked his son standing there “do you like having your dad as coach?” He said “yes” excitedly and shook his head. Coach dad wasn’t interested. One day it ends and you can’t get it back.

This picture always reminds me that even though practices and games for U-littles can be chaotic it’s all part of the process. Embrace the chaos.

A long, long time ago there was a little boy who played soccer, not particularly good at it either. My own mother as my coach, who knew the journey that would follow. Decades away to be drug back into it as a coach for my own two DDs I use “drug back” lightly I wanted to be their coach so bad I made their first coach my drinking buddy at the time.
This is my page and I’ll try and share my hard learned lesson from my coaching my own kids to now coaching other people’s kids.
Enjoy.