Dr. Nadine Macaluso

Prioritizing your partner over yourself comes at a cost: the loss of autonomy and freedom.

True peace means balancing care for others with self-respect.

I know it feels like you are buying peace, but you are really only buying a little now - to lose a whole lot of it later.

Prioritize self-compassion and set boundaries EVERY day.



This is not therapy. Seek professional support when necessary. My content is not a substitute for professional counseling.

You have survived a trauma bond; you can do anything.

Keep SURTHRIVING.



This is not therapy. Seek professional support when necessary. My content is not a substitute for professional counseling.

To the father, the chef, the dancer, the artist, the grandpa, the dog dad, and the spicy Italian man we all love – Happy Father's Day!
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Johnny Mac, thank you for being the best father to our blended family, and for raising and loving my kids as your own. Parenting with you has been the joy of my life. I love you for working on yourself, for your own sake, and for our family, as that is the mark of a truly great father. You're the best and we love you!
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Sending love to all the dads out there, from our family to yours XXOO ❤️

Therapy is not just a place to vent, it is your safest place to encourage growth, self-discovery, and healing.

It is my job as a therapist to equip my clients with coping skills, decision-making skills, and self-agency to handle what life throws at them while placing their own well-being first.

This is YOUR space for authentic expression, free from judgment. I have no personal involvement in your life or alternative motives. I simply wish to help you thrive and THAT is the focus of our sessions. We answer the question: HOW CAN YOU THRIVE TODAY?

So yes, venting happens. But it is more than that - and my clients are a testament to the power of having a space dedicated to safety and self-discovery. Therapy is not just a place to vent and talk in a circle about your problems. It is a safe, nonjudgmental encounter where you can share your self-doubts, insecurities, and fears. We unpack what's getting in the way of you reaching your potential in life and love.

We then devise ways to empower you with healthy coping skills and decision-making abilities so you can have agency because this is YOUR LIFE!

I am here solely to support your growth and well-being. Our sessions are dedicated to answering the question: HOW CAN YOU BECOME YOUR BEST SELF?

Indeed, venting is a part of the process. But therapy is much more than that - it's a testament to the transformative power of a safe space for self-discovery and healing. Many of my clients have experienced this firsthand.



This is not therapy. Seek professional support when necessary. My content is not a substitute for professional counseling.

This is the most painful part of a trauma bond. They leave no room for your character, your smile, or your soul. They suffocate.

As a surthriver, I've felt the weight of this darkness. We, the casualties of love, bear scars unseen but deeply felt.

What inspires me each and every day is the RESILIENCE of this community. I can see my patients and my community growing stronger every day. We are putting ourselves back together piece by piece and writing a new narrative of survival.

We are not defined by our trauma bonds; we are defined by our ability to endure, to heal, and to thrive despite the scars. We are the living testament to the power of love's aftermath.💗

Take care of your heart dear one.. 💗



This is not therapy. Seek professional support when necessary. My content is not a substitute for professional counseling.

Dear Younger Nae,

I know you feel hopeless, trapped, and afraid. You thought you married an honest, loyal, and loving partner, but the reality was very different. You keep going through the motions daily, hoping he will change. Yet, every day, you wake up and still walk on eggshells.

Remember, it's not about waiting for him to change; it's about realizing the power within you. One day, you will discover this strength, giving you the courage to leave. You will say goodbye to him, your old life, and your home and step into a new chapter where you are in control.

The journey will be bumpy, but it will be because you are trying to forge a life on your own, not because you're being tortured by a pathological lover.

And then, slowly but surely, you will build a safer life.
And I want you to know, despite your doubts, one day, you will share your story of triumph over adversity. It will serve as a beacon of hope for others, and it will become somebody else's survivor story.

Know this: You are a SURTHIRVER!

If I could go back in time and tell you kinder words, it would be this: You are worthy of love and respect. Always. No excuses.

With love and strength,

Older Nae ❤️

Dear Younger Nae,

I know you feel hopeless, trapped, and afraid. You thought you married an honest, loyal, and loving partner, but the reality was very different. You keep going through the motions daily, hoping he will change. Yet, every day, you wake up and still walk on eggshells.

Remember, it's not about waiting for him to change; it's about realizing the power within you. One day, you will discover this strength, giving you the courage to leave. You will say goodbye to him, your old life, and your home and step into a new chapter where you are in control.

The journey will be bumpy, but it will be because you are trying to forge a life on your own, not because you're being tortured by a pathological lover.

And then, slowly but surely, you will build a safer life.

And I want you to know, despite your doubts, one day, you will share your story of triumph over adversity. It will serve as a beacon of hope for others, and it will become somebody else's survivor story.

Know this: You are a SURTHIRVER!

If I could go back in time and tell you kinder words, it would be this: You are worthy of love and respect. Always. No excuses.

With love and strength,

Older Nae ❤️

Abuse affects us all.

It is so important to me that everyone, especially within the LGBTQ community, can access the resources they need. Love and support are essential pillars in healing, and no one should feel alone in their journey.❤️

I want to make sure every voice is heard, every surthriver empowered, and every heart embraced with compassion and understanding. I want to help the LGBTQ community and surthrivers to seek help and healing.

This month is dedicated to honoring and embracing every aspect of who you are. I support you with love and want to make sure you have education that empowers, resources that uplift, and spaces that validate your experiences. Happy Pride Month! 🌈

I have good news and bad news.

Let’s start with the bad: Adults don’t give other adults unconditional love.

It flies in the face of romantic ideals, but unfortunately, it’s true.

Adults give children unconditional love. But if we love another adult unconditionally, we can end up tolerating bad and even abusive behavior.

Unconditional love means there are no conditions, and that’s not healthy.

It’s part of a healthy relationship to have limits:

“Cheat on me again, and I’m done,” or “Don’t go to rehab and clean up your drinking, and I’m not going to be here.”

I think we are obsessed with unconditional love because a lot of us, unfortunately, did not receive it as children

We need to stop romanticizing the term ‘unconditional love’ when it is not healthy in adult relationships. Place clear boundaries on what you will and won’t tolerate!

All that glitters isn't gold.

Some days, my life looked perfect from the outside, but I was actually struggling with a traumatic relationship with an abusive partner. I struggled with anxiety, shame and hopelessness and I felt completely alone. I had no idea how I would be able to escape.. . I was in pain and no one would even know it.

I have learned not to judge others too quickly. We never know what they're dealing with behind closed doors. Even when your friends or family might seem fine, you really have no idea until you ask.

If you are not doing well, make sure to be honest with a trusted friend. If you know someone might be going through something difficult reach out today- let them know it is okay to not be okay. ❤️

One of my most significant goals is to build a strong community with you, my dear ones, both online and in person.

I invite you to join me in a deep dive into:

➡️ The reality of being the former wife of Jordan Belfort, the 'Wolf of Wall Street.
➡️ My process of turning my pain into purpose
➡️ A glimpse of what is in store for you in my book, 'Run Like Hell: A Therapist's Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds.'

I know you will find insight and inspiration for your own lives.

You can RSVP now to meet me in person! It would be such an honor and pleasure to chat with you and see the faces of this beautiful community.

You can sign up using the link in my bio! ❤️

Let's heal, thrive, and redefine our narratives together. ❤️

There is nothing innate in you or your character that makes you DESERVE to be in a trauma bond. We are all vulnerable to a relationship like this given the right circumstances.

And you are not weak, you are trapped due to complex psychological processes. Coercive control, manipulation, deception and cognitive dissonance.

These bonds aren't easy to understand. Give yourself kindness and grace. Yet please get educated. ❤️

How do you know when it is time to introduce your new partner to your kids or family? How can you possibly feel safe and secure in your choice to introduce a new possible family member?

I took a LOT of time to consider introducing John to my children. I knew it was a serious decision, so I took my time and made sure I was VERY serious about John. I spent a lot of time getting to know John and making sure that our values were aligned before we even discussed it! I wanted to make sure that our relationship had time to experience hard times and give us a chance to see how we could work together under pressure and collaborate when things were hard!

I knew it was time to introduce John to my children when I saw how he loved and respected me and the people who mattered to him.

If you are considering if it is time, here is my advice: Get extremely clear on your shared vision for your future, aligned values, and your priorities. Then, watch how they treat their loved ones in their life currently. Watch how they speak and most importantly, their ACTIONS. Make note of how they show up for others in their life, love them and give them respect. If you can make a long or consistent list - that is a sign that you are on the right track.

Today, the way John loves our family is one of the greatest joys in my life.

When I see his actions each day, I see a man who continuously chooses to bring his best self to the table for our family. He has truly helped me and our family achieve healthy connections.

With healthy connection we all feel, seen heard and understood. And yes that also means our family is messy and imperfect yet we all have the intention to be kind to each other.

If you have introduced your family to a new partner, how did you know when it is time? What did you notice about your partner or your relationship that made you feel confident in your decision?

One of the scariest aspects of a trauma bond is the gradual and almost unnoticed changes that occur in response to an abusive relationship.

Initially, we are vibrant, outgoing, motivated, and content women. Then, suddenly, we realize that within our trauma bond, we're engaging in behaviors that make us hardly recognize ourselves.

I've heard about some EXTREME behavior from women caught in the grip of a trauma bond (and I completely understand). It's common to hear women talk about stalking their partners, catfishing them, snooping through their phones, making repetitive calls, or even resorting to threats and interrogation.

Here are some things I have seen over the years:

➡️ Installing nanny cams in the house
➡️ Stalking him (following him after work, spying on him when he's out with friends)
➡️ Catfishing to catch him cheating
➡️ Hacking into personal accounts
➡️ Look through all the people (women) he follows and question him about it/make him unfollow
➡️ Turned on the read receipts on his phone when he asked me to fix something else in his settings.
➡️ Threaten the women he's cheating on you with
➡️ Physically assaulting him
➡️ Damaging his property (home, car, clothing, etc)

The truth is, we behave like this out of desperation. We feel lost and afraid, simply longing for safety, security, and peace. But it's impossible to cultivate the confidence that healthy habits bring when our relationships don't support our peace of mind.

You deserve to savor life and spend your precious time on earth doing things that bring you JOY. You were meant to live a beautiful life brimming with love and peace, not anxiety and erratic behavior.

I have faith in you. Just know there is so much vitality to be found on the other side of your trauma bond.

If conversations in your relationship always lead to confusion or fear when speaking up, it's time to pause.

What you think, how you feel, and what you have to say are valid and important. If your communication does not EVER produce any resolution or help you take positive steps forward - that is NOT normal. Feeling constantly confused or scared is NOT normal.

You deserve respect, clarity, and safety in your relationships. 💪

Many scenes in "The Wolf of Wall Street" were exaggerated or untrue, I know that some of these scenes made the movie very engaging and entertaining, but they didn’t all happen the way you saw on the screen (like the scene in the baby scene). 💯

I remember the wolf would accuse me of things that were TOTALLY untrue and it would make me feel so lost and confused. What if other people believed those stories about me?

The point of controlling the narrative is to make you see YOURSELF like that. You are not a free and independent character, but someone who can be manipulated.

Recognizing these tactics is essential for protecting one's mental and emotional well-being. Seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can help you reclaim your truth and break free from the narcissist's manipulative grip.

What is one thing he said about you that wasn't true?

Healthy self-care or selfishness doesn’t mean you don’t care for others. People with healthy narcissism consider and respect their happiness, needs, and freedom while connecting with their lovers. This is the opposite of traumatic bonding, which demands you abandon yourself to keep your relationship. By not neglecting yourself, you are cherishing yourself—an act of self-love.

🚨That being said, let's get crystal clear on what healthy self-care looks like. 🚨

Spending sprees, compulsively working, filling all your free time with friends, or Netflix, or overexercising give you strong hits of dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, yet they don’t support your recovery. Learning to be with your feelings and manage them is crucial for healing.

Healthy self-care involves nurturing yourself with your long-term health and happiness in mind. It's about acknowledging and managing overwhelming emotions like fear, anger, and shame rather than numbing them. Instead of turning toward options that offer immediate relief, seek support from therapists or support groups to address underlying issues.

Choose to be kind to yourself by being with and nurturing those hurting parts. ❤️

How do you practice self-care?

It is very common for your family to experience separation and shifts and changes over the years. Sometimes we have an ideal vision of what our family is ‘supposed’ to look like and how things are ‘supposed’ to go. But life has other plans.

The emotional fallout from big family shifts can be profound, especially for children. They experience all of these changes from their own perspective, and this can come with confusion, anger, and a deep sense of loss.

After seeing my family grow and change so much, my advice to you is this: support your each child with patience, empathy, and a willingness to understand their unique perspectives. Validate their emotions and respect what they say.

When you feel disconnected from your family, ask them directly, “How can I support you and help you feel loved and connected to your family?”

I am proud to say I have seen my family grow and become stronger over the years, and I would not trade their beautiful faces for ANYTHING.