Sim Simma

Name the song?

I am not losing weight because every Crunch I do has a Captain in the front 🤦‍♂️

I'm having a garage sale this weekend!
Please don't come if I've ever borrowed anything from you.

Remember that the teacher is silent during a test when you feel like God isn't present with you.

Why does it cost $2 to put air in my tires?

Inflation...

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's concerning how many people bring a knifes on a date.

When was the last you told your partner how much you appreciate, and why you chose them? What was their reaction and did it get you closer?

“La dilación es la arrogancia de que Dios te dará la oportunidad de hacer mañana lo que te permitió hacer hoy.”

When you get with a Latina, you are either going to get one that cooks like her Mom or drinks like her Dad

Shout out to ALEXA AND SIRI for being the only women who listen to me,

Life is short, Break d rules, 4give quickly, Kiss slowly, Love Truly, laught uncontrollably n never rgret anything that made u Smile

I pay close attention to who likes my posts because as soon as I'm rich, I'm buying you all tacos

Hit me with a Dad Joke.

I’ll go first:

WHY SHOULDN'T YOU WRITE WITH A BROKEN PENCIL?
BECAUSE IT'S POINTLESS

GIVE ME COFFEE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND WINE TO ACCEPT THOSE
THAT I CANNOT

What alcoholic beverage goes well with chicken soup? Asking for a friend 🤣

Happy MMXXIV

I don't want to end 2023 on bad terms with anyone.

You can go ahead and apologize now

Those who like my posts are happier, more intelligent and better-looking than those who don't; according to a study I made up.

I don't want much for Christmas this year...
I just want the person reading this to be happy, safe, loved and healthy 🎄❤️👏

My Tribe out here doing it well 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. The dedication and planning is worth admiring 😂😂😂😂

IT'S BEGINNING TO COST A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS

It cost $0.00 to remind someone they aren’t alone in this world.

I love you ❤️

Dear Coca-Cola Company:
No more new flavours.
Either add the co***ne back, or leave it alone.

WHEN YOU ORDERED A BOOK ON HOW TO SCAM PEOPLE AND IT
NEVER CAME
🤣🤣🤣🤣

I bet someone's mom used me as a bad example when I was younger 😅