Cannell Wellness

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[Image Description:

A meme that says, “why don’t you make like a tree and slowly grow while helping others around you grow too.”]

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Piece by .eequay

FINISH THIS SENTENCE: “I love my past self because __________________.”

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals.

Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.

~ Pema Chödrön

art | Christian Schloe

Source: https://twitter.com/bymariandrew?s=21

Many of us learned that love was conditional. We had to work for it since we were children.

Many of us had to perform, to prove we were ‘good,’ or we had to completely deny our own emotions in order to cope with our environment.

We learned that love or approval could leave at any moment.

So, we learned to state our case. To over explain. To over apologize.

We learned to rationalize our ‘why’ + attempt to make another person see our side of things because at our core we are afraid. Afraid of being abandoned.

I often find myself over-explaining or wanting to over explain myself. I witness my mind coming up with dozens of reasons to support my “case” when I set a boundary. I witness myself reading a comment about me or my work online + I see my mind desperate to defend the truth as I see it.

I see my inner child afraid that not good enough. This is when we default to defense + explanation.

This is the best time to practice.

The truth is we do not need to defend our worth. We do not need to defend our truth. We do not need to apologize for our limits, our needs, our ambition, or dreams, or our desires— even when it brings up insecurities in those around us.

With healing, with developed self-trust + confidence comes less explaining + more BEING. Sovereign being.

Some reminders when you feel the urge to over-explain:

1. Boundaries are your right. People who guilt or shame you for your boundaries are struggling with their own abandonment wounding

2. Your reality + truth is always valid— simply because you’ve experienced it

3. People project their own sense of self + unresolved pain onto others (this is part of the human experience) personalizing this pain is a choice that can be un-learned

4. People with high self worth respect the needs of others— because they respect their own needs

5. Inner child wounding can create a scenario where 2 adults become children: practice self forgiveness + grace

Our nervous system is like an alarm system in the body. When we feel we are in danger, the nervous system is activated to help us safe from the threat. This is how we evolved (+ why we are still here.)

Many of us have childhood attachment wounding: which means we were not safe to fully express our emotions, our environment was unpredictable, or we were on the other end of a parents inability to regulate their emotions— do they screamed, shamed, or punished, regularly.

From a young age we learned to be hyper-vigilant. Always scanning the room to see how a parent was doing or feeling, always attuned to shifts in mood or for the next crisis.

As we get older, many of us continue to feel unsafe because our nervous systems are in a chronic state of activation.

Our bodies are brilliant. So we adapt + find ways to feel a false sense of safety. Sometimes through drinking (to take the “edge off”), using substances, dissociating (being physically present and mentally gone) workaholism or chronic busyness, or complete avoidance or escape from life through isolation.

These coping mechanisms allow us to leave our bodies. It’s not that our nervous system isn’t dysregulated, it’s just that we escape *feeling* it.

This is why meditation or feeling any “inner” experience in the body can be so stressful when we don’t feel safe. We might have racing thoughts, or intense sensations in the body NOT because we are meditating: but because we are being present to what we normally are distracted from— the stressful feeling of dysregulation. So we pick up our phones + start scrolling, fill that glass of wine, or say yes to an obligation even though we are way behind our capacity to just stay busy.

The practice of consciousness is the practice of returning to the body. It’s something I do daily. A few minutes of deep breathing where I focus on exhaling stress energy. A walk where I focus on the view of the mountains beyond me. A short yoga practice where I breathe into tight parts of my body.

Learning to feel safe is a practice. Understanding WHY you don’t feel safe in a moment is the gift of self awareness

What do you say to a sister
who is about to
enter the sea
when you don’t know if she will be met
with storms or calm water
when you don’t know what
journey awaits and
how she’ll make it to shore

What do you say to a sister
when you see her scan the horizon
hesitant and unsure
when you know her fear
and the work that lays ahead
when you know she’ll come out the other side
Changed

Softer perhaps. Or maybe scarred.
But stronger, too, no doubt.

You walk with her as deep as you can into those waters
and you hold her close, as long as you can
and then you let go
and let her dive deep
knowing there are parts of this journey
she must make alone
knowing there are storms that she must face on her own

And you stand, a lighthouse, the shore
as she becomes one with the sea

~ Words and Art by Catie Atkinson
Spirit Y Sol
www.linktr.ee/spiritysol

“There is a wild woman under our skin who wants nothing more than to dance until her feet are sore, sing her beautiful grief into the rafters, and offer the bottomless cup of her creativity as a way of life. And if you are able to sing from the very wound that you’ve worked so hard to hide, not only will it give meaning to your own story, but it becomes a corroborative voice for others with a similar wounding.”

~ Toko-pa Turner
www.toko-pa.com

Art by Beth Wildwood
www.bethwildwood.com

Can you relate? What are your challenges with establishing or maintaining a daily meditation practice? 💕

I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness.
I believe, I Believe.

― Mary Anne Perrone

Photo by Philippe Vogelenzang Photography

Sis, the inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. You needed it to shield your tender heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent by choice or by the circumstance of working three jobs to feed and house you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but no offered no safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships that always took more than they gave.

From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when isht got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.

From the lies. The betrayals.

You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.

Ultra-independence is a *trust issue.*

You learned: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will always drop the ball sooner or later, right?

You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt women who came before you.

Ultra-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.

So, you don’t trust anyone.

And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.

To trust is to hope, to trust is vulnerability.

“Never again,” you vowed.

But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.

Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.

Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.

It’s trauma response.

The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.

You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.

You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.

You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.
Worthy, sis.
You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.

You are worthy.
Worthy.

Simply because you exist.

I love you. 🧡~J.

~ Jamila White, Psychic & Life Coach
IG:
www.inspiredjamila.com

Art by Lucy Campbell
www.lupiart.com

You are here still.
Despite it all.
Despite the struggles shaped from twisted pain.

Despite the breaking, the forcing and the damming.

Even though your wild became bleak, cut down to the bone.
You are here.

Your heart open, your senses feeling, your seeds blooming.

Your skin scarred as it is, shines with wild life.

Your pockets full of medicine weeds, acorns and rose petals.
Your wild growing again, reclaiming space.

This my dear one, is wild magic.
This is alchemy.

And I put my hand on our heart and thank you,

I Thank you for claiming the tenacity and courage that is held in all wild things,
for having faith in the beauty that is within.
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• Words by our friend
Brigit Anna McNeill •
• Art by Taryn Knight

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Scapegoating/shadow projecting is itself a violent act of self-mutilation. The origin of scapegoating involves a severing and disowning of a darker part of ourselves, which we then—in a second act of (energetic) violence—project outside of ourselves onto an “other.” We react violently when we encounter an embodied reflection of our shadow in the outer world, wanting to destroy it, as it reminds us of something dark within ourselves that we want nothing to do with. This act of external violence is a dramatization of the original inner act of “splitting” (which is itself a violent affair) off from our own darkness. In other words, our inner process of violence towards our own darkness (which is itself inspired by the very darkness we are dissociating from) is being dreamed up and acted out on the canvas of the external world with real world consequences.

A question naturally arises: is otherness more threatening in its difference (in its alien quality) or is it more menacing in its sameness (that its reflecting something back within ourselves)?
...The most horrible acts of persecution are often committed in the name of the fight against persecution. The ones who are scapegoating believe they are self-righteously supporting the truth while in actuality they are living and propagating an egregious lie. Neumann writes, “True to the basic principle of the scapegoat psychology, the conscious mind believes itself to be identical with the higher values and commits the most appalling atrocities in the sublime self-assurance of an ‘absolutely clear conscience.’” Scapegoating illustrates how the darkness uses people who are overly identified with the light as its secret outposts. The darkness literally hides in the light. Overly identifying with our light nature and projecting out our darkness are interrelated aspects of a deeper singular process.

Scapegoating only functions based on ignorance, blindness and a persecutory unconsciousness. In Christ’s words, those who scapegoat “know not what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34) Its power is dependent on a lie, which is why the lie must remain hidden at all costs. When the lie underlying the scapegoat mechanism is exposed the spiral of violence is broken and wetiko is dispelled – for good.

~ Paul Levy
excerpts from:https://www.awakeninthedream.com/articles/scapegoating

art | Dawid Planeta

ThIs...👇🏼🎯

Alan Watts 🌀
January 6, 1915 - November 16, 1973

Dr. Lois Tonkin's model of growing around grief:

In the Lakota-Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most wakan, most holy. There's a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help.

You might recall what it's like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person's eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.

~ Tara Brach

art | Frank Howell