Tory Bae

I was able to hang out with my best friend all day and plan out our little to big and everything-in-between goals + dreams. While I love that our vision and values on life are similar, what I appreciate the most is how different our mind’s see and process the world around us.

-january recap-

I started walking by myself. Absolutely refreshing.

We enjoyed the Chinese Lantern Festival.

I started eating more fresh fruit. I love fruit, but I don’t intentionally eat it. My favorite apples are honey or cosmic crisp.

Because work is hectic, I made myself my own wallpaper - something I haven’t done since…college?

Regrowing green onions saves me $0.89 every other week ☺️

We became a house of 9:
👩🏻👦🏼👩🏾‍🦱👩🏽‍🦱👱🏻‍♀️🧑🏼🐶🐶🐶

I read four books.

I didn’t miss a day learning Korean.

Today, we’re welcoming two teens into our home so naturally a Target run was necessary. Did you know that you can slice your finger handling a comforter bag? Neither did I. No bandaids in my purse, but I did have napkins and washi tape!

Four kids, three dogs, one husband. What a team it’s going to be. And no, I will not get a minivan; although, I have been looking to upgrade to a 7-person suv so we can all travel in one vehicle ☺️

Here we go.

Over the past six months, I've done a lot of thinking about what kind of business I want to bloom towards. Creating stickers was the beginning of my pandemic endeavor. It has been an amazing two-and-a-half-year run, but I want to focus more on products I'm passionate about - greeting cards, bookmarks, notepads, prints, fiber arts, and digital products.

So, I'm liquidating all of my stickers and now thru 12/11, all stickers are automatically 70% off. Buy.them.all.please.

In the coming weeks, I will be transitioning all of my cards from 5x7 inches to an A6 6.25 x 4.5 size using a new paper. I'll be switching from a silky matte to a linen matte paper that adds more texture 😍

I've also changed my brand colors because if you've been around here long enough, you know that happens every 6-9 months. We'll see how long these last 🤣

For as little marketing as I do, we went over 200 sales in 2022 and I'm hoping for big things this coming year (with more consistent posting). 😃

What's up in the near future:
- love cards & postcards
- more bookmarks
- digital products

This little business wouldn't be possible without you - thank you for supporting my art!

Me.
Simple word for a complex being.

The Vikings and Duke have both suffered losses, glad I don’t use sports to project my year 🤣

If you’ve read this far, ALL STICKERS are 70%. I’m changing a few business things ☺️

#2023

Scene: Sue laughing at Dale because he tried drowning her with her water bottle. Dale wearing his mask upside down.

Why couldn’t Sue give herself a drink? Welp, on a walk, she tripped and graciously flew onto the sidewalk landing on her arms to protect that precious face of hers.

It wasn’t the vacation ending we had hoped for, but after 42 years of marriage they can still laugh, even through 7 hours in two different urgent cares, multiple X-rays, and finding out Sue has a broken arm and finger.

Send your well wishes as she recovers!

This trend, but adoptee-centered! *Numbers are not accurate 🤣

and that’s a Vikings win in North Carolina! Cameo by Ru.

There There by Tommy Orange || 4.25
This listen prompted my interest to further explore the Occupation of Alcatraz. Great perspectives and the intertwining of characters reminded me of the movie, Crash. I’ve never heard the ending of life described quite like that before. It was hauntingly and tragically beautiful.

The Poppy War by || 4.75
The narrator was 👏🏽What a spectacular fantasy. The imagery made my brain happy while the complex themes & undertones create some deep afterthoughts.

Start With Hello by || 4.25
I adore Shannan. An easy listen for me since I’ve been following her for years. This read paired alongside The Anti-Racism Journal would be a 👍🏽

All You Can Ever Know by || 5
There were often times where I had to sit and pause with how beautifully written this memoir was. “The adoption story I’d heard so often growing up was supposed to remake me, give me everything I needed, make me feel whole. In the end, though, real growth and healing came from another kind of radical change - from finding the courage to question what I’d always been told; to seek and discover and tell another kind of story.

Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans || 4.25
“But no one really teaches you how to grieve the loss of your faith. You’re on your own for that.” We left the church over two years ago. By the tenets of traditional Christianity, I would not qualify myself as a Christian. When people ask, I say somewhere along the lines of being spiritual and honoring the power of my ancestors to an agnostic Christian who believes God exists outside of westernized Christianity. For me, this book was a combination of, “Yes! That is exactly how I have felt or feel.” to mulling over Christianity as a whole.

The Noh Family by || 4.25
This was a sweet gift from who knows my affinity for K dramas. This was like living through a fast-paced K-drama. Easy read & I only guessed one of the many twists this story has. I’m hoping that if this series continues, Chloe gains more confidence - coming from a person who has never experienced imposter syndrome.

Fitting that this arrived on the last day of I can’t wait to read this with our littlest. She loves Korean food - her favorite is cheesy tteokbokki and yachaejeon with extra tamari.

Thanks, for creating this gem! This book has a special meaning for me, as an adoptee. Growing up, books like this didn’t exist so now not only do I get to enjoy them with my family, but I also get to heal a part of my inner child ☺️

The holidays can be difficult and are not always merry and bright. Grab this card and many more! All greeting and postcards are printed in-house ☺️

The more I reconnect and dive into the vastness of Korean culture and my heritage, the more I appreciate and learn of all the efforts and accomplishments of my ancestors. This, in turn, has me appreciate the ancestral work and grace of others.

Today, we ate this week’s leftovers for lunch and a veggie + sausage bake for dinner. We talked about the true history. We made bath bombs and ate chocolate. Now, we’re watching The Santa Clause before the Vikings game.

I could write pages to cover all of the nuances from my own personal experiences so this is just but a very small glimpse. Other avenues: how he worries when I’m alone, especially in the rise of asian hate, how people perceive us, how he and I have navig*ted life, my adoption, etc.

I’m looking forward to hearing and reading different perspectives and thoughts!

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It’s that time of year folks! If you need Christmas cards, postcards, stickers or bookmarks, check out my site! A whole batch of fresh bookmarks will be added soon! Thanks for your support!

No code needed and FREE shipping on any order over $30.

Part of healing my inner child is creating things I never had or was exposed to as a growing up in a white household and predominantly white community.

While coming up with this design I learned several things about Korean culture and the holidays: Santa is called Santa Haraboji. There are some figurines and drawings of him wearing either a green or blue suit along with a g*t - a hat worn by mean during the Joseon Dynasty. (BTW, have you watched Mr. Sunshine on Netflix?)

Anywhodizzle, going off of my love of gnomes, I created this card and postcard for the holiday season! I also didn’t see too many Korean while searching online so here you go!

Wanted. Chosen. Loved. Adopted.

That’s the most common sticker when you search “adoption sticker”. Heck, it’s the most common phrase when I searched “adoptee stickers”. So I made this one that best reflects not only my emotions, but other wonderful adoptees as well.

And like all things adoption, it’s heavily nuanced and can mean different experiences and emotions for different adoptees. Here’s what Bought. Indoctrinated. Grieved. Adopted. mean to me:

Bought :: I believe adoption commodifies children. I was around $13,000 in 1987. My parents took out a loan. Depending on the age, health, race, and country of origin, adopting a child can cost upwards of $70-80k. How many birth families and communities could that help?

Indoctrinated :: I grew up in a Christian household, but I chose this word not because of my own personal indoctrination but how the American church relates to adoption. We are chosen. You are a blessing. It was god’s will. Really?! God’s will was for family separation?

Grieved :: Adoption grief is multifaceted. For me, even being a realistic optimist, grief comes in waves and I grieve over seemingly “small” things like the first time I tried an Asian pear was at 35. And other times grieve over the fact that I’m finding it so difficult to learn Korean and wondering if any of my pre-adoption story is actually true.

Adopted :: This sticker is a conversation starter. While it is not the antithesis of Wanted. Chosen. Loved. Adopted. it shows another perspective. An sdoptee’s perspective.

Available to order Sept 18.

Releasing on Friday, Nov 18. The stories and inspiration behind these stickers are something that I will expand more of in the coming days. For now, I’ll say this: I hope that these seemingly simply stickers (alliteration 3 points) are conversation starters and play a small role in strengthening our community.

My Day • September 8, 1987
After a 8-hour delay, my plane finally landed in Minneapolis. I was on a flight with ~10 other Korean babies and a few social workers. My family and extended family were there to greet me and when my grandma held me, I s**t my pants.

Residing in a small Minnesota town, my adoption made the local diner’s roadside sign.

Growing up, we didn’t celebrate my . Looking back, it’s something that I’m thankful for. When my mom got Facebook, she made a few “Gotcha Day” posts, but those have since ceased after we talked about how demeaning it feels. My dad has sporadically sent me a text on that day and I usually have to correct him on terminology.

There’s a lot of grace given to my parents because I know their hearts are good. They recognize that my adoption started with a loss. They’ve always been supportive of reconnection and birth family searches.

Just as I hold the tension of polarizing emotions regarding my adoption and the system, I’m allowing my parents to feel their feels about having me in their life while I do the same. While some of our emotions and feelings match, mine contain more nuance and depth and that’s where, for me, grace and empathy come in.

When they adopted me, they didn’t know what they didn’t know. And now, they don’t know what they don’t know. And while it’s not my job to educate, I do see myself as the person who can best help them try to better understand more nuance and complexity around adoption.

Prompt by

The painting was done our middle. She’s so artistic and I thought this perfectly depicted the emotions that we share.

In honor of and to say hi to the new folks 🙋🏻‍♀️ swipe right to learn a little bit about me ☺️

TW: abuse, death, mental health

is honored each year on October 30th. And just like our lived experiences this day means something different to every

Honoring those adoptees who are no longer with us, those who endured abuse by their adoptive parents, those who have been deported, and those who are still awaiting citizenship. Thinking of and holding space for all as they continue to navig*te grief and the myriad of emotions that comes with

The four flowers represent the statistic that when compared to non-adoptees, adoptees are four times more likely to attempt su***de. In many other peer-reviewed studies, adoptees when compared to non-adoptees, also have higher occurrences of lower school performance, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, and other diagnoses.

Check in on your adoptee friends. Many of us hold multiple intersections. Some of us are willingly ready to talk about our adoption while others need more time to process or build a relationship. Have the difficult conversations around the narrative of adoption.

Side note nuances:
- Not all children and youth in the foster care system should or want to be adopted
- The way the current system works now, guardianship is not always the best option for younger children (depending on if parental rights have been terminated) because many resources for that child are linked to the child being adopted
- Birth certificates and name changes are major reasons how adoption changes a non-consenting or younger child’s identity and family ties. Future privatized and foster care adoptive parents: if safe, you do not have the change the child’s name! What’s the harm in waiting and letting your child choose? That’s child-centered care.
- I believe adoption reform could include merging certain aspects of guardianship and adoption to where a child can keep their original birth certificate and their name is not to be changed (if safe) until the child can give and understand consent AND if funds and services were not tied to only adoption.
- Funds and services examples: in NC, if a child is adopted after 12, they automatically are guaranteed free college tuition at any state-funded school. However, if they age out of the system or choose guardianship, they can still obtain free tuition but the process is lengthier and more complicated with less support. They can also receive a Pell grant, but that is not sufficient to cover all costs. In many NC cases, families and children and given post-adoption funds and services; however, the funds are services are not available to those that haven’t guardianship or age out. It’s messy and unfair to youth. There is currently limited funds and resources for kinship care.

10.03.15
This photo is so fetch.

Our views and our marriage have changed over the last seven years. Heck, our views on marriage have changed. Marriage is a construct. On paper, we have a marriage, but our relationship is not one of power or alliance or abiding to a religious standard.

It’s devotion - it’s deep love. It’s a dynamic love. It’s a love that thrives off of creating safe and open spaces for one another. It’s a love that recognizes agency and equity. It’s a love that prioritizes one another’s peace over happiness. It’s an honest love that pursues empathy and embraces laughter.

Happy second-seventh anniversary to our love…and happy Mean Girls Day.

**Posting a day early because my brand partnership releases tomorrow ☺️

Help me get rid of my inventory so I can stock it with new fun things! 60% off all stickers through the weekend!

Happy 🇰🇷

So happy to have and her family come and celebrate with us!

As content creators and business owners it’s nice when you can just hang out and not focus on content creation 🤣

We filled our bellies with galbijjim, tteokbokki, japchae, rice, braised tofu, poached Asian pears, mochi, cucumber salad, and kimchi. Not your traditional Chuseok meal, but with 9 kids tteokbokki is a must!

It was so much food, we saved the fritters and jeon to make tomorrow ☺️

A trip to San Francisco, with a friend who appreciates sleep as much as you do, 10/10 would recommend.

We stayed at the very Hotel Emblem between Lower Nob Hill and Union Square where they’ll deliver books, alcohol, and a typewriter to your room.

We were tourists who ate all the delicious gluten-free food, climbed all the stairs, and were in bed by 8:30pm because jet lag.

Honestly, the most relaxed week I’ve had in years.

Selfies are have always been few and far between. It’s not for a lack of confidence but when I was a part of the church, I was told that selfies and self-confidence were selfish and T hat vanity was a tool of the enemy…🤦🏻‍♀️

Last night, our teen did my makeup and gave me a nose. I’m still trying to figure out what that means ☺️ It was such a fun night and not only is she so talented, but she told me I need to start taking my selfies, so here we are! Regular design content…coming soon.

Here are a few gems I’ve learned over the last two years of being on the internet:
• There are more people in life that want you to succeed than want you to fail
• Parasocial relationships are weird, but the support and community that evolves from them are worth the weirdness.
• Widen your community and you’ll experience how freaking talented and compassionate people are.

I got misty eyed opening this today because I’ve watched curate and it is so empowering to see women of color thrive. Not only is the book itself a beauty, the content and resources are going to change you. Faitth has poured her heart into this so order yours today!

I’ll be going live with Faitth, on TikTok, Tuesday, July 12 at 7:30pm est to talk about her journal. Join us!

Happy

Prior to June 12, 1967 our marriage would be illegal in 5 out of the remaining 16 states who still had anti-miscegenation laws. These laws made it illegal for white people to marry either all other races or certain races dependent on the state. To put it in perspective, this was happening when my parents were school-aged kids.

On June 12, 1967, after a 9-year fight, Loving v Virginia deemed the state bans on in*******al marriage to be unconstitutional.
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I am grateful for every person that has fought and/or who is currently fighting for racial equity and justice.

Learning how to think intersectionally is pivotal in learning how to become anti-racist, anti-ableist, and inclusive. We don’t want our children growing up with the same White-washed history we grew up with. (I didn’t know about Loving v Virginia until I was 28.)
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Today, we honor the Lovings and celebrate because love always wins.

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All orders placed, for the rest of this month, will receive this geometric rainbow heart sticker for FREE (Until we run out!). 🫶🏽

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